Umxholo
- 1. Banokuzithemba okuphantsi
- 2. Abazazi izinto abanazo
- 3. Ukuphulukana nomdla kwenza kube lula ukuphambuka
- 4. Kukho uqhawulo lonxibelelwano
- 5. Wayengakulungelanga ukutshata
- Akusekho sizathu
Q: Kutheni le nto amadoda ekopela kubafazi bawo emva kweminyaka yokuthandana?
A: Ziyi-jerks.
Ngangoko singathanda ukuphelisa inqaku apha kwaye senze ngathi sesona sizathu kuphela esifumanekayo kuthi, sonke siyazi ukuba kunomdla ngakumbi kunoko. Ukuba umntu uyakopela, ngokuqinisekileyo wenze into engalunganga kwaye akukho sizathu sokuyithethelela. Kodwa ngokuqinisekileyo kukho okungakumbi ukuxoxa ngesihloko. Zininzi izendlalelo onokuzikroba umva kwaye uziqwalasele ngaphambi kokutsiba kwimpendulo elula kakhulu "yamadoda zijeriksi."
1. Banokuzithemba okuphantsi
Oku kunokubonakala ngathi kuyaphikisana. Ukuba umntu unokuzithemba okuphantsi, akukho ngqiqweni ukuba baya kusondela kwaye badibane nabafazi abangahleliyo, akunjalo? Kodwa inye kuphela i-engile yokujonga lo mbandela wokuzithemba.
Ukuzithemba okuphantsi kunokubenza bazive bengaphantsi kunomlingane wabo womtshato. Banokujonga kumfazi wabo kwaye bacinge, “Ndilahlekile, andinako nokwenza umfazi wam alale nam.” Oku kuvuka kwengcinga ezingakhiyo kungakhokelela ekubeni baphume baye kubona ukuba “basenayo na”. Banokufuna ingqalelo kwamanye amabhinqa ukuzama ukuzenza bazive ngcono ngokungabikho kothando ekhaya.
2. Abazazi izinto abanazo
Emva kweminyaka yobudlelwane, umfana unokulibala ngokulula into anayo ekhaya. Wayenokuqonda ngokucacileyo ukuba umfazi wakhe uyathandeka, ulumkile, kwaye uyahlekisa, kodwa ixesha eliye ladlula linciphisa ukukhanya okube yeyona nto iphambili engqondweni.
Xa umfazi omtsha eqeshiwe emsebenzini okanye ukuba kungena ummelwane omtsha, ubunewunewu bobukho bakhe bunokumkhumbuza ukuba kutheni umfazi wakhe emhle kangaka. Ngaphambi kokuba uyazi, usenokuba uhlahlela umntu omtsha ngelixa inkosikazi yakhe isenkqonkqozo awatshatayo.
Xa esiza ― nokuba uyaphuma okanye hayi ― kwaye uyasikhumbula isizathu sokuba umfazi wakhe emhle kwasekuqaleni, uya kuziva eyoyikekayo. Kodwa kusenokwenzeka ukuba ixesha lihambile kwabanye, njengoko beqonda ukuba wawumhle kangakanani umtshato wabo kwasekuqaleni.
3. Ukuphulukana nomdla kwenza kube lula ukuphambuka
Ixesha elininzi lokuba nobudlelwane obuzinikeleyo, kokukhona kuya kufuneka uqaphele izinto malunga nokuzigcina zomelele kwaye ziphilile. Enye yezinto ezihlala zincipha ngumnqweno, onokuthi ukhokelele kumaqhuma amaninzi kwindlela yobomi bomtshato ― kubandakanya ukukopa.
Xa umlilo ovuthayo owawukhe wagquma uncipha ukuya kudanyaza, abafana bangaqala ukukhangela kwenye indawo olo hlobo lonxibelelwano. Into enomdla kukuba inokufumaneka ngokulula. Ngobunye ubusuku bume kwaye imicimbi inokubonelela ngendoda ngedosi ebiyilangazelela ngenxa yokuba intsha, intsha, kwaye ekugqibeleni iyingozi. Ukuba izinto ekhaya zisezintabeni, kuyakwenza kube lula ngakumbi ukuthethelela ukunikezela kwisilingo. Intliziyo yakhe iya kugijima kwaye ngaphambi kokuba azi, uya kulahleka ngexesha eliza kubangela ukuphela komtshato wakhe.
4. Kukho uqhawulo lonxibelelwano
Ukuba nomtshato wokufezekisa isithuba esinomdla esithandekayo kuphela kwento enye enokufuna ukuzaliswa. Ecaleni kwesigqibo esiqhutywa kukuthanda ukukopa, indoda inokukopa kuba kukho unxibelelwano phakathi kwakhe nomfazi wakhe.
Usenokuziva engafunwa.
Unokuziva engafunekiyo.
Unokuziva ngathi akasiva.
Ngale nto ithethwayo, oku akumniki kudlula simahla ukufumana umfazi omhle olandelayo abonayo kwaye amse ehotele ekufuphi. Unxibelelwano luyindlela emibini. Ukuba uziva ngathi akaviwa, kufuneka athethe ngayo. Ukuba uziva ngathi iimfuno zakhe azifezekiswa, kufuneka avakalise olo luvo.
Ukuvumela ukungabikho konxibelelwano kwi-snowball kwindawo apho ukukopela kungumphumo wesiphoso sakhe njengokuba kunjalo kumfazi wakhe.
5. Wayengakulungelanga ukutshata
Uninzi lwabafana lubona nje umtshato njengenye inqanaba lobudlelwane.
"Sithandane iminyaka emibini, sihlala kunye isithuba seenyanga ezili-9, ndicinga ukuba lixesha lokuba sizibophezele kubomi bonke kunye ..."
Nangona kukuqhubekeka kobudlelwane obuzinikeleyo, umtshato ubhalisela i ubomi bonke yokuba neqabane lakho. Ininzi into yokucinga kwaye uyithathele ingqalelo, kwaye akukho nto ungangxamela kuyo.
Abanye abantu banokuba besebancinci kakhulu xa begqiba ekubeni babophe iqhina. Utshintsha kakhulu kwi-20s nakwi-30s yakho ukuba ibingumcimbi wexesha ngaphambi kokuba kubekho umgama owenziwe phakathi kwakho nomfazi wakho.
Abanye abantu abanakuqonda ukuba batyikitya ukuba "ndiza kulala nomntu omnye ndide ndife." Ndiyathetha, abayizo i-morons, bafumana loo ngcamango. Kodwa banokungazi ukuba buyinyani kangakanani de kube kamva emtshatweni.
Abanye abantu banokuthi nje "Ndenza" ngaphambi kokuba bafanele. Ukuba kunjalo, umzuzu yena kunye nomtshakazi wakhe babhengezwe njengendoda nomfazi, ixesha lokumakisha libekelwe kwaye yinto nje yexesha ngaphambi komntu ongekho ngokwenene ukulungele ukufumana i-hitched shows up.
Akusekho sizathu
Eli nqaku aluluhlu lwezizathu ezinokusetyenziswa ngamadoda ukuthethelela ukukrexeza kwabo; yimizekelo nje enokubangela ukuba amadoda enze ubudenge.
Ukukopela kwamadoda. Abafazi bayakhohlisa. Akukho mntu umsulwa.Kodwa ukuba abantu ababini bathathe isigqibo sokuyikhupha ixesha elide, kuya kufuneka bazi ukuba batyikitya ntoni.
Sebenzisa olu luhlu njengeempawu ezinokubakho zokusebenzela ubudlelwane bakho. Ukuba kukho ukungabikho komdla, khanyisa umlilo. Ukuba kukho unxibelelwano, hlala phantsi uthethe. Sebenzisa olu lwazi njengesitrayikhi sokukhusela ngokuchasene nezinto ezinokukhokelela ekubeni umntu akhohlise kwelinye.
Ungayigqiba.