Umxholo
Xa abantu ababini betshata baqala uhambo kunye, uhambo oluya kubandakanya inkqubo yokufunda ubomi bonke. Inyathelo nenyathelo njengoko bethetha-thethana ngamahla ndinyuka obomi bemihla ngemihla baya kufumanisa iinyaniso ezintsha malunga nomnye. Kuyimpazamo enkulu xa elinye okanye omabini amaqabane ecinga: "Ewe, ngoku sitshatile, siyakuhlala sisondelelene kwaye sisondelelene kangangoko sinakho ukuze nje siphumle kwaye sibudlulise ubomi buqhubeke" Ubudlelwane emtshatweni kufuneka ihlala ixabisa, ikhuselwa kwaye isenziwa. Njengamadangatye eziko anokucima ngokulula ukuba iinkuni ezininzi azange zongezwe, okanye ukuba amanzi aphoswa kuwo, uya kufumanisa ukuba ngenye imini akukho buhlobo emtshatweni apho wawukade ukhona.
Xa kungekho buhlobo kwimiphumela yomtshato ngokungathandabuzekiyo kubandakanya ukwehla komnqweno wokuba kunye kwaye isibini sinokuziva ngathi siphila ubomi obahlukeneyo obuphakathi kwabo nangona besabelana ngendlu nakwigumbi lokulala. Xa eli nqanaba lifikelelwe kwaye livunywa ngabo bobabini abatshatileyo, lixesha lokuba kuthathwe amanyathelo abalulekileyo ukubuyisela ulwalamano olusenyongweni emtshatweni. Bobabini abatshatileyo kufuneka bazinikele kwaye bakhuthazeke, baqonde oko baphulukene nako kwaye bazimisele ukusebenzela ukwakha ulwalamano emtshatweni kwinqanaba elifanelekileyo.
La manyathelo alandelayo sisiqalo esihle:
Buyela kwiziseko
Cinga emva kwazo zonke izinto ezitsalile kwiqabane lakho kwasekuqaleni. Khumbula ezo ntsuku zokuqala xa wawuthandana kangangokuba wawungenakulinda nje ukuba nibonane kwaye nichithe ixesha kunye kwaye kuninzi eninokuthetha ngako. Cinga ngezinto othanda ukuzenza kunye kunye neendawo ozithandayo oya kuzo. Kuthekani ngalowo wenza uluhlu okanye ubhalele intanda yakho? Xelelanani zonke izinto enizixabisileyo nozixabisileyo ngolwalamano lwenu.Kutheni wawufuna ukutshata ngoko kwaye kutshintshe ntoni ngoku? Ngamanye amaxesha konke okudingayo lixesha lokucingisisa kunye nokukhumbula okubalulekileyo kuwe ukuphinda ujonge kwaye ubuyisele umbono wakho.
Jongana nemicimbi
Kuwo wonke umtshato kukho imiba ethile okanye iindawo zoxinzelelo ezibangela iintlungu neengxabano. Le micimbi emtshatweni kufuneka ijongisiswe ngononophelo kwaye kusetyenzwe ngayo ngokufanelekileyo ukuze kwandiswe ukusondelelana. Kufana nokuhambahamba kwaye ube nelitye kwisihlangu sakho; awunakulonwabela uhambo de ugobe, ukhulule isihlangu sakho ulikhuphe ilitye. Indawo yokuthandana ngokwesondo inokugcwala kukungazithembi kunye noloyiko oluthi luphulukanise uvuyo nolwaneliseko kwabo bafuna ukulufumana.
Oku kuyinyani ngakumbi ukuba elinye okanye omabini amaqabane ebenamava abuhlungu okanye angonwabanga ngaphambili. Ngamanye amaxesha kuyimfuneko kwaye kuyanceda kakhulu ukufuna iingcebiso ngeengcali ukuze ubususe obu bunzima kwaye ufumane inkululeko yokunandipha omnye nomnye ngaphandle kwemvume. Mhlawumbi ezemali ngumba? Okanye mhlawumbi lusapho olongezelelweyo kunye nabazala? Nokuba ngowuphi umcimbi, xa ninokuthetha ngokunyanisekileyo nangokuvulekileyo omnye nomnye malunga noku kwaye nifikelele kwisisombululo kunye, niyakufumanisa ukuba ulwalamano lwenu luya kukhula kakhulu, nanjengoko umoya ucociwe emva kwesiphango. Ukuba le micimbi ayithathelwa ngqalelo okanye ayifakwanga phezulu, bahlala besiba mandundu kunokuba bazisombulule. Kwakhona, kuyacetyiswa ukuba ufune iingcebiso kunokuba uzame "ukungcwaba" iingxaki zakho okanye usokole wedwa.
Cwangcisa iinjongo ezifanayo
Nje ukuba uvuselele amadangatye othando lwakho lokuqala kwaye uwasuse amatye kwezihlangu zakho, lixesha lokuba ugxile ekuqhubekeni kubudlelwane bakho kunye. Thethani ngeenjongo zenu, njengabantu ngabanye nanjengabantu abatshatileyo. Ukuba unabantwana kunye, zeziphi iinjongo zakho ngokubhekisele ekukhuliseni usapho lwakho? Zithini iinjongo zakho zomsebenzi? Unokuncedana njani ukuze ufezekise iinjongo zakho? Kubalulekile ukuba nobabini nitsale kunye kwicala elinye. Ukuba ufumanisa ukuba iinjongo zakho ziyangqubana okanye zinemveliso, kusenokufuneka kwenziwe izigqibo ezinzulu kunye nolungelelwaniso. Nje ukuba nicace ukuba niyaphi, nobabini ninokubaleka nihamba kunye. Umntu osisilumko wakha wathi uthando lwenene aluhlali ekukhangeleni omnye komnye kodwa yinto yokujonga kwicala elinye.
La manyathelo mathathu enza iphethini elungileyo yokugcina ubudlelwane obunempilo kunye nokwandisa ukusondelelana emtshatweni: khumbula ukuba kutheni utshate isithandwa sakho kwasekuqaleni kunye nothando eninalo omnye ngomnye; thatha ixesha lokujongana nemiba kunye neengxaki eziza phakathi kwenu; kwaye nisebenze kunye ukufikelela kwiinjongo ezifanayo ebomini.