Umxholo
- 1. Sisingatha njani ukungaboni ngasonye noxinzelelo njengesibini?
- 2. Ngaba silindele ukuba into itshintshe?
- 3. Sithini isimo sethu sengqondo kwimiba emikhulu-abantwana, imali, ukuthandana, ukuba likhoboka?
- Isiphelo
Kunzima ukucinga malunga nezinto ekufuneka uzenzile ukulungiselela ulungiselelo lomtshato ngokwasengqondweni xa sele uza kuhamba kulaa njongo, kwaye ingqondo yakho iyaxhuma phakathi kovuyo kunye noxinzelelo olungathethekiyo malunga neentyatyambo zomtshato. Nangona kunjalo, ukuzibuza wena kunye neqabane lakho imibuzo efanelekileyo ngexesha elifanelekileyo kunokuba sisigqibo phakathi konwabe ngonaphakade kunye neenkcukacha zoqhawulo mtshato ezibuhlungu. Nazi izinto ezintathu ezibaluleke kakhulu ekufuneka uzenzile ukuze uqale ubomi bakho kunye uzilungiselele.
1. Sisingatha njani ukungaboni ngasonye noxinzelelo njengesibini?
Uxinzelelo kunye noxinzelelo luyonyuka ngokuhamba kwexesha, masinyaniseke ngayo. Niya kuba neengxaki zodwa nanjengesibini, nabanye naphakathi kwenu nobabini. Ukuhambelana xa kuziwa kwindlela ophendula ngayo kwimpixano noxinzelelo sisakhono esibalulekileyo sokukhula kulo naluphi na ubudlelwane obuhlala ixesha elide.
Iintsuku zokuqala kunye neenyanga zothando zisikhuthaza ukuba sibonise indalo yethu engcono ngeendlela ezininzi. Siyawubamba umsindo wethu, sibonise ukunyamezelana kunye nenkxaso, sigcine ukugqabhuka kweemvakalelo kuthi, singafuni ukuphazamisa amaxesha esabelana ngawo kunye. Umtshato uyakukutshintsha oku, kwaye lonke uvakalelo lwakho ekugqibeleni luya kubonakala.
Kungenxa yoko le nto kubalulekile ukuba ujonge indlela enijongana ngayo noxinzelelo kunye nendlela enisabela ngayo xa kukho iingxabano. Ngaba uyarhoxa, ngaba uyanamathela, uyangxola, ngaba unomsindo okanye ulusizi? Ngaba uyazi ukuba unxibelelana njani ngokuzithemba? Kwaye, ukulungiselela umtshato owonwabileyo- ungabuphucula njani obu buchule njengesibini?
Iyacetyiswa Ikhosi yangaphambi komtshato
2. Ngaba silindele ukuba into itshintshe?
Omnye umbuzo obalulekileyo ukuzibuza wona kunye neqabane lakho- ngaba ukho umntu olindeleyo kuye okanye onqwenela ukuba into itshintshe ngoku niza kutshata? Yintoni? Ngoba? Kwaye, okubalulekileyo- liziva njani elinye iqabane malunga nolo lindelo? Ngaba ukwelo phepha linye?
Uninzi lwethu lunolindelo olungaphaya kokuqonda ukuba umntu esiza kutshata naye uyakutshintsha ngomlingo xa sele bethe "Ndizenzile". Banokwenza, okanye abanakho. Kodwa, okubalulekileyo kwikamva lobudlelwane bakho kunye nomtshato wakho kukuba nobabini nijonge kuloo nto, ukuba kungabikho namnye kuni oza kutshintsha.
Kuya kufuneka ulungele ukuchitha ubomi bakho bonke nomntu otshata naye njengangoku. Ukulindela ukuba umntu angazicingeli okanye abe noxanduva ngakumbi, okanye enze naluphi na utshintsho oluncinci okanye olukhulu olukhoyo, kukuzingca kwaye akunangqondo. Ukutyikitya isiqwenga sephepha kunqabile ukuba kungumlingo wobugqi kwaye unokuba uphoxekile kunye neminyaka yokulwa kunye nokungoneliseki ukuba ubala loo mbono.
3. Sithini isimo sethu sengqondo kwimiba emikhulu-abantwana, imali, ukuthandana, ukuba likhoboka?
Izibini ezininzi zihlala zithintela ukuba zingathethi ngezi zinto ngaphambi kokuba zitshate, njengoko zinoluvo lokuba ziyakubulala ukuthandana. Abona bahamba kakhulu kukucinga malunga nokuba bangaphi abantwana onokufuna ukuba nabo. Nangona kunjalo, kuya kufuneka uxoxe ngento eyiyo kwaye ungathandani kwaphela.
Cinga ngale mibuzo kakuhle uze uthethe nomntu oza kutshata naye. Ithini ifilosofi yakho ngokukhulisa abantwana, uza kuvumela ntoni kwaye uza kuthintela ntoni? Uza kubaqeqesha njani? Uya kuzihlela njani iimali zakho? Ngaba uyahambelana na xa kufikwa kumba wokufumana kunye nokuchitha imali? Ngaba umcimbi uyaphula isivumelwano, okanye ungoyiswa? Ungalindela ntoni kwiqabane lakho ukuba kwenzeka umcimbi? Ungasabela njani xa iqabane lakho lifumana isiyobisi? Ungayibamba kunye okanye ungalindela ukuba bayilungise ngokwabo?
Umtshato unokugcina i-aura yothando ixesha elide, kodwa iingxaki ziya kuvela. Kwaye inqaku apho ulungiselelo lwakho lomtshato luyakuthi lubonakalise ukuba luthatha isigqibo sokuba le micimbi mikhulu iyabutshabalalisa na ubudlelwane benu, okanye inikhuthaze nobabini ukuba niphumelele. Musa ukoyika ukuthetha malunga neengxaki ngaphambi kokuba zibonakale-olo luphawu lokukhathalela umfazi okanye umyeni wakho ozayo kwaye nifuna ukwenza yonke into ekhoyo ngekamva lenu kunye.
Isiphelo
Ukuba kwindawo ebomini bakho xa ucwangcisa ikhekhe lomtshato kunye nokukhetha umbala olungileyo weengubo zeentombi ezonwabisayo kuyamangalisa. Kwaye kuya kufuneka uyonwabele yonke imizuzwana yayo! Kodwa, ikwalixesha elifanelekileyo lokuthatha umzuzwana kwaye ujonge yonke imibuzo ebalulekileyo ngomtshato. Eli khefu lifutshane kucwangciso liya kubuyisa kwiminyaka emininzi yeentsuku zomtshato ezonwabileyo kwaye kufanelekile.