Umxholo
- Bafundisa amaqabane ukuba abe ngcono
- Iluncedo lokufumana ukuqonda okutsha
- Bafundisa izibini ngendlela yokusombulula ukungaboni ngasonye okuqhelekileyo
- Iincwadi zokucebisa ngomtshato-Iingcebiso
Iincwadi zokucebisa ngomtshato kwizibini ezitshatileyo ziluncedo kakhulu kwaye zipakishwe ngolwazi oluxabisekileyo. Sukwenza impazamo kwaye ucinge ukuba zezabo bathandanayo bahamba nemicimbi ethile.
Iincwadi zokucebisa ngomtshato zezazo zonke izibini ezitshatileyo kwaye kufuneka zibekhona kwiishelufa zazo zeencwadi. Ulwazi lunamandla kwaye lunokunceda umtshato ngeendlela ezininzi kunenye.
Kwilizwe lanamhlanje sinokufikelela ngokulula kweyona ncwadi ilungileyo yokunceda umtshato kutheni ungasebenzisi eli thuba banalo?
Nazi izizathu ezintathu ezibalulekileyo zokufunda iincwadi zokucebisa izibini.
Bafundisa amaqabane ukuba abe ngcono
Ngaba umtshato ngumsebenzi? Hayi, kodwa ifuna ubuchule. Iincwadi zonyango ezibini zinokunceda amaqabane ukuba aphucule izakhono zawo ngokubafundisa indlela yokuba ngamaqabane angcono. Kusoloko kukho indawo yokuphucula.
Abo batshatileyo banokuvula ngakumbi ngamaqabane abo, babe nothando ngakumbi, baxabise ngakumbi, baxhase kwaye baqonde. Xa omabini la maqela ethatha inyathelo lokuba angcono, iziphumo ziyamangalisa.
Elona candelo lililo kukuba umntu omthandayo uthathe inyathelo elongezelelweyo ukomeleza ubudlelwane.
Iluncedo lokufumana ukuqonda okutsha
Ukufunda ngokwenene kubalulekile kwaye kungcwaba impumlo yakho kwenye yeencwadi eziphambili zokucebisa ngomtshato kunokubonelela ngakumbi malunga nokuba utshatile malunga nantoni.
Nokuba utshatile iminyaka emi-2 okanye engama-20, kunokwenzeka ukuba ufumanise ukuba kuninzi kakhulu kubomi bomtshato kunokuba bekulindelwe ekuqaleni. Iya ngaphaya kwenkxaso kunye nokuqonda.
Inkqubo ye- iincwadi zeengcebiso zomtshato ezichanekileyo Ayiboneleli kuphela ngokuqonda ngakumbi ngomtshato kodwa ikhuthaza amaqabane ukuba azijonge nzulu. Ukufunda ngakumbi ngawe kukhuthaza ubudlelwane obunempilo.
Bafundisa izibini ngendlela yokusombulula ukungaboni ngasonye okuqhelekileyo
Iimbambano eziqhelekileyo zihlala ziyingxaki enkulu. Nangona ilula, izibini ezininzi zinobunzima ekusombululeni ezi ngxabano kwaye kungekudala ziya kuhlala zihleli kubudlelwane.
Iindawo ezintlanu eziphezulu zongquzulwano kwizibini ezitshatileyo zibandakanya imisebenzi yasekhaya, abantwana, umsebenzi, imali, kunye nokwabelana ngesondo. Iincwadi zokucebisa ngomtshato zijongana nazo ngokweenkcukacha kwaye zifundisa izibini ukuba zenziwe njani nazo. Ungquzulwano alunakuphepheka.
Amaqabane aza kungqubeka entloko kodwa kukho indlela esempilweni yokuphatha iimpikiswano. Ukuphikisana ngenhloso yokukhula kufutshane kunye nokufumana ukuqonda kunokwenzakalisa okanye ukungqina ukungalunganga.
Iincwadi zokucebisa ngomtshato-Iingcebiso
Iilwimi ezi-5 zoLuthando: Indlela yokubonisa ukuzibophelela okusuka entliziyweni kwiQabane lakho
'Iilwimi ezintlanu zothando' yenye yezona ncwadi zibalaseleyo zokucebisa ngomtshato, ebhalwe nguGary Chapman obonisa iindlela ezintlanu zokubonisa kunye namava othando phakathi kwezibini ezibandakanyekayo kwezothando.
Iindlela ezintlanu ezishwankathelwe nguChapman kwezi ncwadi zonyango incwadi yonyango yomtshato zezi:
- Ukwamkela izipho
- Ixesha elibalulekile
- Amagama okuvuma
- Izenzo zenkonzo okanye ukuzinikela
- Ukubamba ngokomzimba
Le ncwadi yokucebisa ngobuhlobo icebisa ukuba umntu kufuneka abone indlela yabo yokubonisa uthando kwabanye ngaphambi kokutyhila enye iresiphi yomnye umntu yothando.
Incwadi ithi ithi ukuba abantu abatshatileyo bangafunda ngendlela amaqabane abo abonakalisa ngayo uthando banokuphucula indlela abanxibelelana ngayo kwaye bomeleze nolwalamano lwabo.
Ukusukela ngo-2009 le ncwadi ikuluhlu lweNew York Times yoMthengisi oGqwesileyo kwaye yagqitywa ukuhlaziywa ngoJanuwari 1, 2015.
- Imigaqo esixhenxe yokwenza umtshato usebenze
'Imigaqo esixhenxe yokwenza umtshato usebenze' yincwadi yokucebisa ngomtshato ebhalwe nguJohn Gottman ethi inike imigaqo esixhenxe yokunceda izibini ziphumeze ubudlelwane obuhambelanayo nobude.
Kule ncwadi, uGottman ucebisa ukuba womeleze umtshato wakho ngokusebenzisa le migaqo ilandelayo:
- Ukuphucula iimephu zothando -Phucula indlela oqonda ngayo iqabane lakho.
- Ukukhulisa uthando kunye nokuncoma -Fezekisa imephu yothando eyandisiweyo ukuhlakulela uxabiso kunye nokuthanda iqabane lakho.
- Ukujikela komnye nomnye -Themba iqabane lakho kwaye nibe lapho ngamaxesha eemfuno.
- Ukwamkela impembelelo -Vumela izigqibo zakho ukuba ziphembelele izimvo zeqabane lakho.
- Ukusombulula iingxaki ezinokuconjululwa -Lo mthetho-siseko usekwe kwimodeli yamaGottmans yokusombulula ungquzulwano.
- Ukoyisa igridlock -Ukulungele ukuphonononga kwaye woyise imiba efihliweyo kubudlelwane bakho
- Ukwenza imemori ekwabelwana ngayo -Yakha intsingiselo yentsingiselo ekwabelwana ngayo kwaye uqonde ukuba kuthetha ntoni ukuba semtshatweni.
Incwadi yabhengezwa ngokuvisisana nemigaqo yabasetyhini. Isifundo sikwabonisa ukuba izibini zichaze ukuphucula emtshatweni wazo emva kokufunda le ncwadi.
- Amadoda aMars, Abafazi bavela kwiVenus
'Amadoda avela eMars, Abasetyhini bavela kwiVenus' yenye yeencwadi zokucebisa ngomtshato zakudala. Le ncwadi yabhalwa nguJohn Grey, umbhali waseMelika owaziwayo kunye nomcebisi kwezobudlelwane.
Incwadi igxininisa umahluko osisiseko seengqondo phakathi kwamadoda nabasetyhini kunye nendlela oku kukhokelela ngayo kwiingxaki zobudlelwane phakathi kwabo.
Nditsho nesihloko simele umahluko ocacileyo kwisayikholoji yamadoda nabasetyhini. Yamkelwe kakuhle kakhulu ngabafundi kwaye yaxelwa njengowona msebenzi ubalaseleyo kwinqanaba elingelonyani yi-CNN.
Kule ncwadi, uGrey ucacisa gca ukuba amadoda nabafazi baligcina njani iphepha lokulinganisa ekunikeni nasekufumaneni uthando kunye nendlela abahlangabezana ngayo noxinzelelo.