Umxholo
- 1. Musa ukuluthabatha lula uthando
- 2. Thatha amathuba akho xa unawo
- 3. Qaphela ixesha elifanelekileyo
- 4. Ungalukhumbula uthando lwakho ngonaphakade
- 5. Yeka izinto ezidlulileyo kwaye uqhubeke
Umfazi wam ngokwenene ngekhe ayazi le nto kodwa ndiyalukhumbula uthando lwam lokuqala-ngamanye amaxesha. Kodwa sisiphoso sam sonke ukuba khange isebenze ngendlela ebesiceba ngayo. Ndandingekakulungeli, okanye kungcono, ndandingazi ukuba ndenza ntoni. Kwaye ngelixesha ndibuyayo kwingqondo yam, kwakusele ixesha. Izulu liyazi ukuba ndizamile ukulungisa le meko. Ndizamile ukubuyisa uthando lwam kodwa ukuza kuthi ga namhlanje njengoko ndibhala le nto, khange ndikwazi ukunxibelelana nothando lwam lokuqala.
Phakathi kwemizamo yam yokuphinda ndibuyise unxibelelwano nentombazana endandithandana nayo endathi ndagqibela ukuyibona xa ndandikunyaka wam wesithathu ekholejini, ilizwi lafika kum ngomhlobo ukuba wayesele etshatile. Ndandixhelekile. Kuthathe ixesha ukuba ndibuyele ngeenyawo ndiqhubeke kodwa ndizithathile izifundo kolo hlulo kumtshato wam.
Ewe ndaye ndafumana uthando kwakhona kwaye ndinabantwana abathathu ngoku ndinomfazi wam. Kodwa ndizisa izifundo endizifundileyo ekuphulukaneni nothando lwam lokuqala ebomini bam nasemtshatweni namhlanje.
1. Musa ukuluthabatha lula uthando
J, njengoko ndingathanda ukubhekisa kuthando lwam lokuqala, wandivuthela. Kwakanye ebomini bam, ndandisemathandweni. Hayi, ndandingasekho kulutsha. Ndandineminyaka engamashumi amabini kwaye sele ndigqibile kwisikolo samabanga aphakamileyo. Ndadibana noJ, okanye ndibeke ngcono, mna noJ sadibana endlwini kamalume wam. Wayemthanda kakhulu umfazi kamalume kunye nabantwana bakhe.
UJ, owayehlala kwibhloko ekufuphi, uya kuza endlwini amatyeli ambalwa ngeveki. Uya kudlala nabantwana kwaye siye sithi omnye komnye. Akuzange kube kudala ngaphambi kokuba sithandane. Ke enye into yakhokelela kwenye kwaye uJ waba yintombi yam.
Ndaye ndaqaphela kwasekuqaleni ukuba uJ wayengena kum. Indlela andijonge ngayo wathetha nam. Kwaye indlela ebendiziva ngayo nanini na xa ekufutshane. Abanye bayibiza ngokuba yikhemistri. Kwakumangalisa nje. Emva kokuba ndiyintombi yam, uJ wayethandana nam. Nam bendimthanda kodwa bendingekakulungeli. Kwafuneka ndiye ekholejini. Iminyaka embalwa kubudlelwane bethu kwaye ekugqibeleni ndangena kwikholeji. Ndandiye kwesinye isixeko isikolo. Ndandingakhathali ngoJ ngoku. Ubomi bebulindile.
Ukubuya kwam eholideyini kunyaka wam wesithathu, uJane ngoku owayesekholejini naye wayebuyile eholideyini. Waye phezu kwam. Ngokujonga ngasemva, kubonakala ngathi wayefuna ukundixelela into. Kodwa andizange ndive. Ndifunda incwadi ke kaDavid J. Schwartz endandiyiphethe. Wayithimba incwadi endixelela ukuba mandiye kuyithatha xa sele ndilungile. Khange ndivele. Emva kwexesha ndibuyele esikolweni.
Xa ekugqibeleni ndandikulungele ukuphumelela kwam, ngoku ndandifuna uJ. Baye bafuduka bengenamkhondo. J ebemkile kum!
2. Thatha amathuba akho xa unawo
UJ yayilithuba lam kuthando lokwenene. Wayekhathalela. Wayesoloko ekunye nam. Kodwa andifundanga kangako kwizenzo zakhe. Kwakubonakala kuyinto eqhelekileyo kum kwaye bendineentlanzi ezinkulu ukuba nditshise ndicinga ngekamva lam. Ke ndiye ndabona kancinci ngesenzo sakhe de ndaqonda ukuba andizukuphinda ndimfumane. Emva koko yandibetha njengelitye ebunzi. Uthando lwam lokuqala lwalusuka kum. Kodwa ngoku bendiphambene. Bendimdinga kakubi. Ndenze konke okusemandleni ukuba ndimfumane. Emva koko umhlobo okwenzekileyo esazi ngako oko ekugqibeleni waphula "iindaba ezimbi" kum; UJ wayesele etshatile.
Ndiphulukene nethuba lobomi bonke. Ngubani owaziyo? Mhlawumbi wayekwingxaki yokugqibela ukugqibela kwethu ukuba kunye. Mhlawumbi wayedinga ukuba ndimqinisekise ukuba ndandikhona ngenxa yakhe kwaye ndinezicwangciso ngekamva lethu.
3. Qaphela ixesha elifanelekileyo
Ixesha lam yayingeloJ. Xa wayekulungele ukutshata ndandingakulungelanga. Kodwa ukuba bendihoye ubuncinci ngendiyazile into ayifunayo kwaye singafikelela kwisivumelwano. Ndandifuna ukumtshata. Andiqinisekanga ngoku. Bendilinde ixesha elililo. Kodwa andizange ndiyiqonde.
4. Ungalukhumbula uthando lwakho ngonaphakade
Njengoko benditshilo ngaphambili, bendisamkhumbula uJ-ngamanye amaxesha. Ndinqwenela ukuba bendingenayo kodwa ndiyayenza. Ngokukodwa, ngaphambi kokuba ndidibane nenkosikazi yam, bendihlala ndicinga ngoJ. Ndingazibeka ityala ngokuba yimfama kakhulu ukuba ndingakhange ndibone ithuba kuthando lokwenene kunye nolonwabo ebendinalo phambi kwam. Kodwa ukudibana nomnye umhlobo, ngoku ongumfazi wam, kwandinika ithuba elitsha kwezothando.
5. Yeka izinto ezidlulileyo kwaye uqhubeke
Ndonwabile emtshatweni kwaye ngoku ndizisa zonke ezi zifundo ukuthwala umtshato wam. Ndifumene uJ emnandi kodwa kukho ubomi emva kwakhe. Ndinomfazi omuhle onothando oye waba sithandwa sam. Ndiyekile u-J ndaqhubeka nobomi bam.
Ndizisa izifundo endizifundileyo ekuphulukaneni no-J kubudlelwane bam kwaye bafumanisa ukuba ziyasikhumbuza ukuba singenzi iimpazamo ezithile. Ngendlela engaqhelekanga, ngoku kubonakala ngathi ukuphulukana noJ yeyona nto ibalaseleyo eyakha yenzeka kum.