Umxholo
- Buyintoni ubudlelwane obunetyhefu?
- Kutheni le nto sizibandakanya kulwalamano olunje
- Ungabuphepha njani ubudlelwane obunetyhefu
Lonke ulwalamano luthatha umsebenzi, kwanezona zisempilweni, ke sazi njani ukuba iingxaki zethu zizigaba nje eziqhelekileyo okanye luphawu lobudlelwane obunetyhefu?
Inani lomsebenzi ekufuneka siwufakile ukuze usebenze lihluka ukusuka kubudlelwane ukuya kubudlelwane. Kodwa inye into eqinisekileyo; emva kwexesha elithile, kufuneka ihlawule.
Ukuba uzama ukuyenza isebenze, uyakukwazi ukonwabela ilanga emva kwesiphango kwaye uphume kulo womelele kunakuqala.
Kodwa ukuba ayenzi njalo, kwaye ukuba ngumzabalazo oqhubekayo nezihlandlo ezimfutshane zolonwabo, kuya kufuneka uzibuze ukuba kufanelekile okanye hayi.
Isayikholoji yobudlelwane obunetyhefu ayisoloko ibonakala, kwaye nokuba kunjalo, uninzi lwethu alusileli ekuboneni ubudlelwane obunetyhefu.
Ke yintoni i-psychology ngasemva kobudlelwane obunetyhefu? Ngaba ubudlelwane obunetyhefu bunokulungiswa? Kwaye ukuba ayinakulungiswa, ungabushiya njani ubudlelwane obunetyhefu?
Inqaku libalaselisa iimpawu zobudlelwane obunobungozi, kutheni sizibandakanya kulwalamano olunje, kunye nendlela yokuziphepha.
Jonga kwakhona: 7 iimpawu zokuqala zobudlelwane obunetyhefu
Nazi iinkalo zobudlelwane obunetyhefu ukukunceda ukuba uziqonde kwaye uziqonde ngokulula.
Buyintoni ubudlelwane obunetyhefu?
A umtshato oyityhefu okanye ubudlelwane yenye apho kukho ukuphindaphinda, ukutshabalalisa, ukungabi nempilo okubangela ukwenzakala okungaphezulu kokulungileyo kubo bobabini abantu.
Inokubandakanya ubunini, umona, ubukhosi, ubuqhetseba, kwanokuphathwa gadalala, okanye ukudityaniswa kwezi ndlela zokuziphatha ziyityhefu.
Amaqabane ahlala esiva isidingo sokuba kunye nokuba kunganjani, kwaye abaqwalaselani ngokwaneleyo ukuba baqonde ifuthe lokuziphatha kwabo komnye umntu.
Bafuna nje ukubambelela kwi-bond yabo kakubi, kuphela ngenxa yokuba kunye. Umgangatho wexesha labo abalichithe kunye ayikhathalelwa.
Bahlala bedida uthando lwendlala yeemvakalelo kwaye baziva ngathi amaqabane abo ayipropathi yabo ukuze bakwazi ukubalawula.
Kutheni le nto sizibandakanya kulwalamano olunje
Nokuba siyazazi iziphumo zobudlelwane obunetyhefu njengempembelelo yezempilo yengqondo, ukuphulukana nokuzithemba, uxinzelelo kunye noxinzelelo, sonke sikwenzile okungenani enye yazo. Kodwa kutheni?
Ukubandakanya ubudlelwane obunetyhefu kunezizathu ezintathu ezinokubakho.
Kuqala, sithintela iingcinga kunye neemvakalelo zethu ngenxa yokuba, ngasizathu sithile, sicinga ukuba siyamdinga lo mntu okanye kufuneka sikunye nabo. Mhlawumbi kungenxa yabantwana okanye kuba sicinga ukuba asifanelwanga ngcono kunoko.
Okwesibini, mhlawumbi kungenxa yeempawu zethu ezingathandekiyo ekufuneka sisebenze kuzo. Mhlawumbi siyoyika ukuba sodwa. Okanye mhlawumbi silawulwa liqabane lethu.
Ukuba asenzi nto, siyakuqhutywa lula ngumntu othanda ukunika iiodolo kwaye othanda ulawulo.
Ukuba sikhokelwa ngokulula kukuziva unetyala, kwaye ukuba iqabane lethu liyayazi loo nto, unokusiqhatha ngokulula ukuba sicinge ukuba senze into engalunganga.
Isizathu sesithathu esinokubakho kukuba sonke sinemicimbi engasonjululwanga ukusukela ebuntwaneni, ngenxa yoko mhlawumbi siphinda-phinda ngokungazi ezinye iipateni ezingafanelekanga endaweni yokujongana nazo.
Abanye abantu bayazibandakanya kubudlelwane kuba bafuna ukufumana umntu ochasene ngqo notata wabo, umntakwabo, okanye iqabane langaphambili.
Ke, bahamba nje ukusuka kokungenampilo ukuya kokunye, becinga ukuba kuya kuba yinto elungileyo.
Ungabuphepha njani ubudlelwane obunetyhefu
Xa usokola kubudlelwane nomntu, kuya kufuneka uzibuze ukuba zivela phi ezi ngxaki.
Ngaba uyafuna nyani ukuba kunye nalo mntu? Ngaba ukunye nabo ngenxa yeempawu zabo ezintle okanye ngenxa yokuba kubhetele kunokuba wedwa?
Zama ukuchonga iindlela zakho zokuzikhusela, uloyiko, kunye neziphene, ke uyazazi ngakumbi kwaye ke, uyazi isizathu sokuba umntu ekutsalele.
Ngaba iqabane lakho ngumntu onelunda ukuba naye ngokuba ngumntu onembeko, oncomekayo, onyanisekileyo nonenkathalo? Ukuba ukhona, kusafanele usebenze ngako.
Zama ukufumana isizathu sokuba kutheni uhleli neqabane lakho kwaye ulawule izigqibo zakho.
Ke, isitshixo kukuzihlalutya ngokwakho, iqabane lakho, kunye nolwalamano lwakho. Kwaye, elona candelo libalulekileyo kukunyaniseka kuwe.
Ukuba ngandlela thile usazifumana ulwalamano olongeza ityhefu ebomini bakho, mhlawumbi ungazama ukushiya ubudlelwane obunetyhefu kwaye uqhubeke.