Iimpawu ze-15 zomyeni wakho azitsalelekanga kuwe (kunye nento ekufuneka uyenzile)

Umbhali: Louise Ward
Umhla Wokudalwa: 10 Eyomdumba 2021
Hlaziya Umhla: 16 Ucanzibe 2024
Anonim
Iimpawu ze-15 zomyeni wakho azitsalelekanga kuwe (kunye nento ekufuneka uyenzile) - I-Psychology
Iimpawu ze-15 zomyeni wakho azitsalelekanga kuwe (kunye nento ekufuneka uyenzile) - I-Psychology

Umxholo

Ungene emtshatweni, ukuqonda ukuzibophelela kwexesha elide kuya kuthatha umsebenzi. Ubusazi ukuba ayizukukhanya kwelanga kunye neentyatyambo yonke imihla kodwa uthembe ukuba uthando lwakho omnye komnye luya kukufumana kuzo naziphi na izivunguvungu ezizayo.

Kodwa ngoku ukwelinye icala lomtshato (nokuba kuyiminyaka emi-3 okanye engama-30), kukho into evakalayo, kwaye uzifumene uzibuza ukuba ingaba uthando luyinto efunekayo na.

Ngaba uxakekile, okanye uthando luphelile?

Ukuba uzifumanisa ukhathazekile, “Ngaba umyeni wam uyandithanda?

Kubalulekile ukuba ukhumbule ukuba ukuba uziva uswele uthando kumyeni wakho, kusenokwenzeka ukuba akulahlekanga. Mhlawumbi uxakeke kakhulu, kwaye akasenzi mzamo ebewenza.

Okanye, mhlawumbi ujongene nemeko yoxinzelelo emsebenzini okanye ingxaki yezempilo ekwenzileyo uthathe isibuyisi esingasemva. Kule meko, imiqondiso indoda yakho engatsaleleki kuyo inokwalatha ingxaki yobuqu kuye enokusonjululwa ngengxoxo elula.


Ukuba uyazibuza malunga neempawu ezitsalwayo ngumyeni wakho, funda iiflegi ezibomvu ezili-15 ezingezantsi uze ufumanise ukuba ungenza ntoni ukugcina uthando luphila.

Imiqondiso eli-15 umyeni wakho akutsaleleki kuwe

Ukuba uzibuza ukuba, "Ngaba umyeni wam uyandithanda?" okanye "Ndazi njani ukuba umyeni wam usandithanda?" amathuba okuba ukhathazekile ukuba akasekho kuwe.

Mhlawumbi unomyeni ongathandani naye okanye ubona ezinye iindlela zokuziphatha ezibonisa ukuba ulahlekile ngumfazi.

Qwalasela le miqondiso ilishumi elinesihlanu engakhange itsalwe ngumyeni wakho:

1. Kunqabile ukuba uthethe

Unxibelelwano lubalulekile kulo naluphi na ulwalamano, ngakumbi umtshato. Ungathi "Hei" omnye komnye xa udlula epasejini, kodwa nigqibele nini ukuhlala phantsi nithethile?


Ukuba awukhumbuli okokugqibela ukuba unikwe ingqwalaselo epheleleyo kwincoko, le yinkxalabo kwaye inokuba sesinye seempawu umyeni wakho angakufumani unomdla kuzo.

Kwenziwe ntoni:

Qala ngokumbuza malunga nosuku lwakhe. Mamela ngenene iimpendulo zakhe kwaye uphendule ngokubuza imibuzo ekhokelela kwincoko engakumbi. Mjonge emehlweni kwaye umbonise ukuba uyakhathala ngokunxulumana namava akhe.

2. Akazichazi iimfuno zakhe

Ngomba wokuthetha, ngaba usakuxelela ukuba zeziphi iimfuno zakhe? Umtshato ufuna abantu ababini bafunde indlela yokukhathalelana, kodwa ukuba akasakuxeleli ukuba ziyintoni na iimfuno zakhe, yingxaki le.

Kwenziwe ntoni:

Buza! Qalisa usuku ngokubuza ukuba yintoni ayifunayo kuwe ngala mini okanye ukuba ikhona into ayifunayo ngokubanzi onokunceda ngayo. Eyona ndlela yokwazi ukuba amaqabane ethu afuna ntoni kukubuza.

3. Uyazikhathalela iimfuno zakho

Kwanele ngaye, uthini ngawe? Ngaba uyathetha ngeemfuno zakho, ukanti yena akaphumeleli ukuziqonda? Ngaba uyaphendula, okanye uziva ukuba uyakugxotha?


Ukufakwa kwisitya esingasemva okanye ukungakhathalelwa kungangumqondiso wokuba kukho ukusilela kotyalomali okanye ukuba indoda ilahlekelwe ngumfazi wayo.

Kwenziwe ntoni:

Okokuqala, kufuneka wazi ukuba zithini na iimfuno zakho. Ngaphandle koluvo olucacileyo lwento oyicelayo, kuya kuba nzima kuye ukuba ayiphendule.

Ufuna ukuchaza iimfuno zakho ngokuthe ngqo kwaye ngqo ngqo. Mfutshane, ngqo, kwaye ngaphandle kokutyhola yindlela elungileyo yokuphepha ukudideka kwinto oyifunayo oyifunayo.

4. Akasenalo uthando

Kubalulekile ukuba wazi ukuba abantu abasoloko benesidingo esifanayo sothando. Ukuba imfuno yakho yothando iphezulu kunaye, kusenokwenzeka ukuba unokuziva ukuba ungumyeni ongathandani, xa ngokwenene kungumahluko ekubonakaliseni.

Inkxalabo yokwenyani kukuba ubudlelwane abunalo naluphi na uthando, ngakumbi ukuba nibonane njengesibini esithandanayo ngaphambili. Ukuba akaze akwange, akubambe ngesandla, akuphuze esidleleni, okanye abeke isandla sakho emqolo, ezi zinto zinokubonisa ukuba ingqondo yakhe ikwenye indawo.

Kwenziwe ntoni:

Thatha uluhlu lwempahla. Ngaba unothando? Ngaba umchukumisa ngobumnene okanye uyangana xa ushiya omnye usuku?

Ukuba ufumanisa ukuba ungabamba umsa, kwakhona, zama ukwazisa kwakhona kancinci apha naphaya kwaye ubone ukuba uphendula njani. Le ingayindlela ephambili yokuphendula, "indlela yokutsala umyeni wam."

5. Isini sifile

Kuqhelekile ukuba nasiphi na isibini sexesha elide sinciphise isixa abelana ngaso ngesondo emva kokuba ixesha lokutshata liphelile, oko kuthetha ukuba kuqhelekile nokuba phakathi kweentlanganiso zesondo ukukhula kancinci ixesha elide nikunye.

Kodwa ukungabikho kwesondo luphawu olukhulu nina nobabini anisaxhunyiwe. Ukuba ufumanisa ukuba ucinga, "Umyeni wam akandihoyi ngokwesondo," le yenye yeempawu eziphambili umyeni wakho angakuthandi.

Kwenziwe ntoni:

Chonga ukuba yeyiphi na intswelo yakho yesini. Ngaba kanye ngenyanga ikhululekile kuwe, okanye ngaba kanye ngeveki ifana nayo? Ngaba uyazi ukuba leliphi inani elifanelekileyo lesini?

Zama ukufumana ulungelelwaniso embindini ukuba iyahluka. Akusoze kubuhlungu ukuzama into entsha kwigumbi lokulala ukuze uvuse umlilo.

6. Uchitha ixesha lakhe elikhululekileyo nabahlobo bakhe kwaye akaze akumeme

Wayekade ekukhupha kwaye akubonise, kodwa ngoku ixesha lomhlobo wakhe lihlala lilodwa. Ukuba nexesha elithile nabahlobo bakhe ngaphandle kwakho akukho nto unokukhathazeka ngayo, kodwa ukuba uchitha ixesha elininzi kunye neqela lakhe kwaye awusamenywanga, naka ingqalelo.

Oku kunokuba sesinye seempawu umyeni wakho angakufumani unomdla kuzo.

Isisombululo

Ngexesha elizayo xa ekuxelela ukuba unezicwangciso okanye ufuna ukuxhoma kunye nabahlobo bakhe, cela ukuza naye. Kungenzeka ukuba angazi ukuba ufuna ukuhlala nabo. Ke, cacisa ukuba ungathanda ukubabamba nabahlobo bakhe.

7. Ujonge ifowuni yakhe ngaphezu kokuba ejonge kuwe

Ngeeselfowuni kuyo yonke indawo, sele siqhele abantu abanesixhobo phambi kobuso babo; Nangona kunjalo, ukuba uhlala ejonge ezantsi kweso sikrini, akanakukujonga.

Akukho nto igwenxa ngexesha lescreen, kodwa ukuba kwincoko nganye, umhla, i-hangout, umzuzu kukho isikrini phakathi kwakho naye, inokuba luphawu lokuba umdla wakhe kuwe uyancipha. Ngokuqinisekileyo oku kunokukhokelela kukuziva ungafunwa ngumyeni.

Kwenziwe ntoni:

Cebisa kwaye ubeke phambili amaxesha xa zingavunyelwanga iifowuni.

Umzekelo, sebenzisa umthetho ukuba akukho fowuni zivunyelweyo kwitafile yesidlo sangokuhlwa. Ukwenza ixesha lomnye ngaphandle kokuphazamiseka kwidijithali kunokunyanzela incoko enokuthi ikhokelele kunxibelelwano.

8. Akancomi

Nangona ukuncoma ngokwasemzimbeni kukhulu, ukusilela kwazo akusoloko kuthetha ukuba akasekho kuwe. Umbuzo ngulo, ngaba uyakuncoma kwaphela? Malunga nantoni na?

Nokuba amagama okhuthazo malunga nezinto "ezingenangqondo" (umsebenzi omkhulu ukukhupha udoti!) Banokuba luncedo. Inqaku kukuba ufuna ukuba aqaphele kwaye aphendule ngokuqinisekileyo kuwe ngendlela ethile.

Kwenziwe ntoni:

Qalisa ukuncoma, nokuba kukumxelela nje ingca awayeyicheba ukuba ibukeka intle. Ukuncoma ziindlela ezilungileyo zokwahlula umkhenkce kwaye uqale ukufudumeza umntu. Ukuncoma kuye kunokuba sisisombululo ukuba uqala ukuqaphela ukuba umyeni wakho akakutsali.

Kwividiyo engezantsi, uMateyu Hussey ubonelela ngeengcebiso eziqinileyo malunga nendlela yokuxhasa oko kuya kubonakala kuchukumisa intliziyo kwaye kuyinyani. Zijonge:

9. "Umgangatho" ixesha kunye uziva unyanzelekile

Ukungakwenzi ixesha lakho, kunjalo, ngumcimbi, kodwa ngamanye amaxesha nokuba unexesha kunye, ayiloxesha lomgangatho olifunayo.

Mhlawumbi uqhubeka nosuku lwesiqhelo lomhla, okanye nina nobabini nisenza ibrunch ngeCawe, kodwa ngaba elo xesha kunye liva kamnandi? Okanye ngaba uziva ngathi akanakulinda ukuba iphele?

Ukuba uziva ngathi ukuchitha ixesha kunye nawe kungumsebenzi kuye, unokuba nesizathu esivakalayo sokuziva ukuba uneempawu zomyeni wam akatsalwa ndim.

Kwenziwe ntoni:

Ukuba unamathele kwisiqhelo, gubungela kwaye wenze into entsha. Ukuba uzame loo nto, jonga kwindalo esingqongileyo.

Umzekelo, ukuthatha uhambo olude kunye kunokudala ithuba lokunxibelelana. Nokuba incoko iyatsala, ukonwabela ukuhamba ngokuzolileyo kunye kunokudala ukuzola kunye nemvakalelo yokubopha.

Zama kwakhona:Yintoni engalunganga ngeMibuzo yoMyeni wam

10. Akabelani nomdla okanye ukuzonwabisa kunye nawe

Ukuba benikunye iminyaka, ninokucinga ukuba niyazazi zonke izinto anomdla kuzo, kodwa ke nina? Ngaba wabelana nawe ngeengcinga zakhe, izimvo zakhe, okanye izimvo zakhe kuwe? Ngaba ukhe akhankanye into afuna ukuzama okanye ukufunda ngayo?

Umzekelo, ukuba ungumntu othanda ezemidlalo, ngaba uchazile ukuba liqhuba njani iqela lakhe alithandayo? Ukuba akasabelani nomdla wakhe okanye izinto azithandayo, ngumqondiso wokuba uyazihlukanisa.

Kwenziwe ntoni:

Ungahlala umcela, kodwa kungcono, ukuba unokufumana into eninokuyenza kunye.

Mhlawumbi uyazithanda iimovie ezoyikisayo, kwaye unokucebisa ngobusuku bemarathon. Mhlawumbi udlala ibhola ekhatywayo, kwaye ungamcela ukuba akufundise ngayo. Bonisa umdla kuye kwaye wabelane nawe. Unokuqonda ukuba niyazana kwakhona.

11. Akasathembekanga

Ngaba akabonisi xa esithi uya kuthi? Ngaba unokumthemba ukuba uya kuba lapho xa kufuneka? Ngaba bekufanele ukuba ayokuthatha aze alibale?

Ngokuqinisekileyo, izinto zityibilika ezingqondweni zethu ngamanye amaxesha, kwaye sonke siyilahlile ibhola ngamanye amaxesha, kodwa ukuba akaze alandele kwaye awunakuxhomekeka kuye, olu luphawu lokuba ulahlekelwe ngumtsalane.

Kwenziwe ntoni:

Mcele akuncedise ngeprojekthi okanye umsebenzi kwaye awugqibe kunye. Cacisa ukuba ibalulekile kuwe kwaye yintoni le uyicelayo kuye. Ukumnika ngokucacileyo "ubuze" kwaye uchaze ukubaluleka kwayo kuwe kunokunceda ukubuyisela umdla wakhe kumtshato wakho.

12. Unibiza ngamagama

Ukubiza iqabane lakho ngamagama (njengamabi, isimumu, okanye nangakumbi) kukuhlukumeza ngamazwi. Ngaba utshintshile indlela athetha ngayo nawe okanye ngawe? Ngaba uyakubonisa kwaye uyakuphatha ngesidima?

Ngamaxesha omzabalazo, kuya kufuneka uphathwe ngembeko ngumyeni wakho.

Kwenziwe ntoni:

Ukuba uyaqonda ukuba umyeni wakho akakuhloniphi kwaye uyathuka, ngokwasemoyeni, ngokwesondo, okanye ngokwasemzimbeni, kubalulekile ukuba ufikelele kuncedo. Unyango luhlala luluvo olulungileyo, kwaye unokunxibelelana nabameli abaqeqeshiweyo abanokuphulaphula iingxaki zakho kwaye babelane nawe ngolwazi nangezixhobo.

Unokufumana izibonelelo ezinkulu ku-www.thehotline.org okanye utsalele umnxeba

Tsalela umnxeba ku-1.800.799 (7233)

13. Akusekho kuthandana

Ukuthandana kunokuphela ngokuqhubeka komtshato njengoko abantu bekhululeka ngakumbi omnye komnye, kodwa ngokuqinisekileyo kufanelekile ukuba enze umzamo wokuba uzive uthandwa.

Ukuba akaze athenge iintyatyambo kusuku lwakho lokuzalwa okanye enze izimbo zomzimba ezincinci ukubonisa ukuba uyakhathala, oku kungakhokelela ekubeni uzive ungafunwa ngumyeni wakho.

Kwenziwe ntoni:

Yiba nencoko ubone ukuba uvela phi. Mhlawumbi akaqondi ukuba uyekile ukwenza iinzame. Xelela umyeni wakho ukuba zincinci kangakanani izimbo zothando lwakhe ezithetha kuwe. Usenokuzama ukukhokela ngomzekelo kwaye uzame ukubonisa uthando kuye.

14. Akajongani nawe imini yonke.

Oku kunokujongeka njengayo yonke iminxeba okanye incoko yemiyalezo ebhaliweyo ebandakanya iimfuno zemihla ngemihla, njengokuthi ngubani othatha isidlo sangokuhlwa okanye ingaba ityala lombane liyahlawulwa na.

Ukuba kusekho umtsalane phakathi kwenu nobabini, umyeni wakho kufuneka ajonge rhoqo ukubuza malunga nokuba luhamba njani usuku lwakho okanye akuxelele ukuba ucinga ngawe.

Kwenziwe ntoni:

Mhlawumbi izinto sele ziqhelekile phakathi kwenu nobabini. Zama ukuthatha inyathelo lokuqala kwaye umthumele umyalezo imini yonke ukumxelela ukuba ucinga ngaye kwaye ubone ukuba uphendula athini.

15. Ubonakala ecatshukiswa yiyo yonke into oyenzayo.

Mhlawumbi ucebisa umbono wokuzama into kunye, kwaye uhambisa amehlo akhe okanye akuxelele ukuba bubudenge, okanye mhlawumbi ubonakala ecatshukiswa bubukho bakho. Ukuba le yimeko, inokuba luphawu lomtsalane olahlekileyo emfazini.

Kwenziwe ntoni:

Yiba nencoko naye umxelele ukuba kubonakala ngathi ucatshukiswe nguwe, kwaye uyifumanise iphazamisa. Zama ukufikelela kwingcambu yengxaki ukuze ubone ukuba yintoni ebangela esi simo sengqondo kuye.

3 Izizathu zokuba angaziva engatsaleleki

Ukuba uqaphela ezinye zeempawu umyeni wakho ongakuthandiyo, usenokuba uyazibuza ukuba kutheni ebonakala ngathi ulahlekile.

Zinokubakho izizathu ezininzi zoku.

  1. Umyeni wakho unokuba ejongene nokwehla kwesondo, okwenzeka ngokwendalo kunye nobudala. Oku kunokuthetha ukuba kuya kufuneka wenze umzamo owongezelelweyo wokuphinda ube yintlantsi phakathi kwenu nobabini.
  2. Esinye isizathu sokuphulukana nomtsalane sinokubandakanya unxibelelwano olubi phakathi kwenu nobabini. Ukuba khange ubekho kwiphepha elinye okanye ube nengxabano enkulu, umtsalane wengqondo phakathi kwakho nobabini unokuhla.
  3. Umtsalane unokuhla kwakhona ukuba unengxaki yokungazithembi. Mhlawumbi uziva ungonwabanga, okanye khange uzikhathalele. Xa ungaziva mnandi ngesiqu sakho, inokuchaphazela indlela abanye abakujonga ngayo, nawe.

Zama kwakhona:Ngaba uMyeni wam undithathela iKhwizi eziNikezelweyo

Isiphelo

Ukuziva ungafunwa ngumyeni wakho kunokubangela iintlungu. Kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuba ngamanye amaxesha siyonwaba emtshatweni wethu kwaye mhlawumbi sikhuphe imiyalezo ebesingazimiselanga kuyenza.

Ukunxibelelana gwenxa kunokubangela uxinzelelo. Ke, kuhlala kubalulekile ukuba usebenzele ekuvakaliseni nasekumameleni umyeni wakho. Amaqabane okanye Unyango loSapho zombini zizisombululo ezilungileyo zokuphucula okanye zokufunda izakhono ezintsha kulwalamano lwethu.

Nokuba ungakhetha kweliphi icala, eyona nto ibalulekileyo yindlela oziva ngayo ngawe. Thatha ixesha lokugxila kuwe, kwaye njengoko usakha ukuzithemba kwakho, umyeni wakho (nabanye!) Uyakuqaphela.