Umxholo
- 1. Awuziva unemincili
- 2. Udinwe ngokwasemoyeni
- 3. Ukungakhathali kuphezulu
- 4. Umsantsa wonxibelelwano uya usanda
- 5. Ukulwa rhoqo
- 6. Ukungabikho kobudlelwane obusondeleyo
- 7. Akukho themba
- 8. Ukwanda komona
- 9. Abahlobo bacebisa ngokwahlukana
- 10. Uhlala eUtopia
Ngaba ubudlelwane bam buphelile? Ngaba simele sahlukane? Ngaba ikhona imiqondiso yokuba ubudlelwane buphelile?
Ukuqhawula ... aah ... masivume nje igama ngokwalo liyaphazamisa. Xa ubudlelwane bakho bujika buba muncu, kunzima kakhulu ukuyamkela inyani yokuba kufuneka wahlukane. Yiyo loo nto ibuhlungu kwaye iphazamisa esi sandi!
Kodwa uyazi njani xa ilixesha elifanelekileyo lokuphelisa ubudlelwane nothando lobomi bakho, umntu obucinga ukuba awunakuphila ngaphandle kwakhe? Leyo yeyona nto inzima kwaye iyabhidisa ubudlelwane.
Uhlala ubambelele kwiqabane lakho-nokuba kwenzeka ntoni.
Ayinamsebenzi ukuba uziva ushiywe ngaphandle kobudlelwane, inzala engekho kwelinye icala, amaxesha amabi, ukungazi, inzondo, uqhubeka ucinga ukuba obu bubudlelwane ekufuneka ubukubo. Hayi! Yima kanye apho! Cinga kwakhona kanzima.
Jonga kwakhona:
Ukwenza kube lula kuwe ukuba uqonde ukuba wohlukana nini neqabane lakho okanye uza kuphelisa nini ubudlelwane, makhe siqaqambise ezinye iimpawu zokwahlukana:
1. Awuziva unemincili
Uyakhumbula xa yayiqala kwaye waziva ukuba ukwisibhakabhaka se-7? Ukukhawuleza kwe-adrenaline kwaba ngcono kuwe emva koko!
Kutheni ngangoku? Akukho mincili nolonwabo. Naxa iqabane lakho likufutshane, awuziva wonwabile kulwalamano. Kungenxa yokuba awonwabanga.
Into engaphakathi kuwe ikwenza urhuqele kude kolu lwalamano.
Kulungile, sonke sinesabelo sethu somsindo kunye nokudana kubudlelwane kwinqanaba elithile lobomi. Kodwa ukuba ihlala isenzeka kwaye ibonakala ingapheli, ayilunganga.
Ukuba awukwazi ukugqitha kwimicimbi emincinci, yile xa ubudlelwane buphelile kwaye lixesha lokuba uqhubeke.
2. Udinwe ngokwasemoyeni
Ubudlelwane bufanele ukukuphakamisa ngendlela elungileyo. Ukuba uhlala uziva uzele kukudinwa, ungakwazi ukuzithwala, luphawu olukhulu ekufuneka uluchithile.
Iqabane lakho lingangunobangela weli xesha ebomini bakho. Usenokungafaneleki ngokweemvakalelo.
Uyayazi inyani yokuba ubudlelwane yinkqubo yeendlela ezimbini. Ukuba omnye unika kwaye enye ingaphenduli, ayenzi ukuba isebenze.
Fika kuyo ngokukhawuleza ukuba uzikhulule kolu xinzelelo lweemvakalelo.
3. Ukungakhathali kuphezulu
Ngequbuliso awukwazi ukubona ukuba olu lwalamano luyaphi. Izizathu zinokuba zininzi. Esona sizathu siphambili kukuba nobabini anihambelani. Ukuba izinto onomdla kuzo kunye nemilinganiselo yakho eyahlukileyo, ulwalamano lwakho alunakuhlala luhleli.
Iingqondo ezahlukeneyo zamaqabane omabini ziya kubangela iingxaki phakathi kwabo. Ulungelelwaniso luya kubonakala luyinto ekude ukuyifumana.
Ubudlelwane buhlala malunga nokwabelana ngeenjongo ezifanayo. Xa ungenayo, ukwahlukana lukhetho olufanelekileyo.
4. Umsantsa wonxibelelwano uya usanda
Ekuqaleni kobudlelwane bakho, wawunemincili kwaye ubandakanyeka.
Soloko uhlala ulinde loo fowuni okanye umyalezo. Kwaye kwakubonakala ngalo lonke ixesha, ngaphandle kokuphoxeka, xa zonke iingcinga nemicimbi yayixoxwa ngokweenkcukacha; xa iqabane lakho beliphendula.
Kodwa ngoku, iqabane lakho lihlala lingenaxesha laneleyo kuwe. Uziva ulilolo.
Kutheni niphila ubomi benu benxunguphele xa kungekho nxibelelwano luqhubekayo phakathi kwenu nobabini. Ukuqhawula kukhetho kule meko.
5. Ukulwa rhoqo
Amaxesha athile iimpikiswano, ukungavisisani, kunye nempikiswano yinto exhaphakileyo kubo nabuphi na ubudlelwane bezothando.
Iimpikiswano rhoqo ngoku zisinceda siqonde indlela ahluke ngayo umlingane wethu kuthi, ethi yona isenze sikwazi ukulawula esikulindeleyo komnye nomnye.
Kodwa xa uzifumanela isiqu sakhoUkugxeka malunga nayo yonke into, ewe, leyo iflegi ebomvu ebomvu.
Njengakwisifundo sobudlelwane bokukhula, kufuneka ubuncinci ubuncinci bube nonxibelelwano olu-5 kuko konke ukuhlangana okungalunganga.
Ke ukuba ufumanisa ukuba yonke incoko yakho ngandlela thile ijika ibe yingxoxo, mhlawumbi lixesha lokucinga ngokuphelisa ubudlelwane bexesha elide.
6. Ukungabikho kobudlelwane obusondeleyo
Ukusondelana yenye yezinto zokuqala zokuphela xa uqala ukukhula ngokwahlukeneyo kubudlelwane.
Nangona ubudlelwane bezesondo buncipha ngokuhamba kwexesha kubudlelwane bexesha elide, kodwa ubudlelwane obunjalo busabonisa ukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo nangokwasengqondweni.
Nangona kunjalo, ukusilela ngokupheleleyo kobudlelwane kubudlelwane kufuneka kubuzwe. Zama ukuthatha iqabane lakho kwaye niqonde ukuba nobabini niziva ngendlela efanayo kwaye aniziva nisadibanisene omnye nomnye kwakhona.
Ukuba ngenene yimeko enjalo, kuya kufuneka uyithathele ingqalelo le njengethuba 'lokuncama ubudlelwane.'
7. Akukho themba
Ukuthembela kubudlelwane yinto edibanisa isibini kunye; ikwayinto ebavumela ukuba bazive bexolile kubudlelwane babo.
Ukuthembana kunokuba yenye yezona zinto zinzima ukwakha kunye neyona ilula ukuyaphula. Kungathatha iminyaka ukuba isibini sithembane ngokwenene ngelixa siphulukana noluvo lokhuseleko kwimizuzwana nje.
Ke, umbuzo omele uzibuze wona, ngaba nisathembana? Ukuba akunjalo, kulungile, lixesha lokujonga iindlela zokuphucula ukuthembana.
Nangona kunjalo, ukuba uziva ngathi ulwalamano lwakho lufikelele kwinqanaba apho kungekho naliphi na igumbi elishiyekileyo lokuba uphinde wakhe nakuphi na ukungabikho kokuthenjwa, oko ke kungumqondiso ocacileyo wokuba ulwalamano lwakho luphelile.
8. Ukwanda komona
Umona yimvakalelo exhaphakileyo abantu abaziva ngayo kubudlelwane obusondeleyo, kwaye kuye kwafakazelwa ukuba xa kunyanzeliswa isixa esifanelekileyo, umona unokwenza imimangaliso kulwalamano.
Nangona kunjalo, kwaye uyazi ukuba into eninzi kakhulu ayikaze ilunge; ngokufanayo, ukuba ubungakanani yakho okanye iqabane lakho umona uwela umda, iba kuphela yityhefu ulwalamano lwakho.
Funda ukuyilawula, kwaye ukuba awukwazi, emva koko endaweni yokuzabalaza kwi-rigamarole yokuqinisekisa iqabane lakho kaninzi, kuya kufuneka ucinge ngokwahlukana.
9. Abahlobo bacebisa ngokwahlukana
Abahlobo bakho abasenyongweni bahlala bekwazi ukuba uhlangabezana nantoni. Uzityand 'igila kubahlobo bakho abasondeleyo, nakanjani.
Kodwa awuyimameli into abantu abakungqongileyo abazama ukukuxelela yona. Uzikhethele eli qabane. Ayinakuhamba gwenxa, akunjalo? Akulunganga.
Ngamanye amaxesha, xa usebudlelwaneni obunetyhefu, awunakuzibona ngokucacileyo iingxaki. Awuzimisele ukuzibona ngokwenyani. Uhlala ungazihoyi iingcebiso zabanye kwaye uziphathe ngokwakho!
Abahlobo bakho abasondeleyo abayi kukucinga kakubi. Ukuba uthatha ixesha elincinci uphonononge iingcebiso zabo, uya kwazi ngokulula ukuba kutheni bekucela ukuba ubuphelise obu budlelwane.
Akuncedi nto kuwe, kwaye ubudlelwane abunakamva.
10. Uhlala eUtopia
Amaxesha amnandi abonakala ngathi ebehleli engqondweni yakho ngonaphakade. Wonwabe kakhulu kwaye wanelisekile lolu lwalamano, kwakanye. Waziva ungaphezulu kwehlabathi ngoko. Yonke into yayibonakala igqibelele.
Kodwa kufuneka uqaphele namhlanje ukuba izinto azifani.
Kufuneka uqaphele ukuba uhlala kwixesha elidlulileyo kwaye awukho!
Iya kuba nzima kodwa ingenzeki. Hlamba iinkumbulo zangaphambili, qhubela phambili, kwaye uzenzele ubomi obutsha, iqabane elitsha elihambelanayo nelingcono! Uya kuzibulela ngokwenza oku.
Ukuphela kobudlelwane akunakuze kube lula nokuba imiqondiso iyaphela. Yipilisi ekrakra ukuyiginya, ke ukuba ucinga ukuba ulwalamano lwakho luphelile kwaye luphela luyinceba kuphela.