Umxholo
- 1. Ukungabikho kobudlelwane obusondeleyo
- 2. Ukungazithembi ngokweemvakalelo
- 3. Ukujonga kwenye indawo kunxibelelwano
- 4. Ukulungisa emva kokuthandana
Xa usenza isifungo somtshato wakho, ulindelo lwakho luyafana nezibini ezininzi: ukuhlala ubomi obude kunye. Izizukulwana zangaphambili zihlala zithatha ixesha ukubonelela ngamagama obulumko kwizibini ezisandul 'ukutshata kwaye zibakhuthaze ukuba bathathe inxaxheba kwimikhwa elungileyo ekhuthaza ubude bexesha lothando nokuqonda. Obu bulumko abuzuzwanga njengelifa kodwa kunoko sisiphumo seminyaka emininzi sisebenzisana ngokubhekisele kwinjongo enye yokuhlala utshatile ubomi bonke. Kwimbali yakutshanje, umbono wokuqhawula umtshato nokutshata kwakhona uye wangabalulekanga kwaye wamkelwa ngakumbi. Zininzi izizathu zokuba isibini sinokukhetha ukuphelisa isithembiso saso sokuhlala ubomi kunye: imiba yezemali, ubundlobongela, iyantlukwano enkulu kakhulu ukuba ingoyiswa, inzondo, umsindo. Ukungathembeki, nangona ingeyiyo eyona nto iphambili kulo lonke uqhawulo-mtshato, kunokuba sisikhubekiso esikhulu kakhulu esingenakoyiswa.
Umbuzo ke, ungawuchonga njani kwaye ukhusele umtshato wakho ekungathembekini? Yintoni ongayenza ukuthintela iqabane lakho ukuba lifune ukwaneliseka ngaphandle komtshato?
1. Ukungabikho kobudlelwane obusondeleyo
Ayisiyonto ingaqhelekanga kwizibini ukuba namaxesha okwehla kobudlelwane bomzimba. Ikhaya, abantwana, imisebenzi, kunye nocwangciso oluxakekileyo lunokunciphisa ixesha esilichitha sedwa kunye nabanye. Oku kunqongophala kobudlelwane obusondeleyo kuhlala kudala isithuba emtshatweni, umngxunya onokuthi ugcwalise kuphela unxibelelwano olunzulu. Ngokwesiqhelo, eli xesha alihlali ixesha elide. Izibini ezomeleleyo ziyakwazi ukukhawulezisa ukusilela kwaye zikwenze oko ngokuzimisela ngexesha kunye. Nangona kunjalo, oku kusilela, ukuba kuthintelwe okanye kungahoywa, kunokwandisa ukwahlula phakathi kwabantu ababini kwaye kudale indawo yokuzala ingqumbo nokungathembeki.
2. Ukungazithembi ngokweemvakalelo
Kubalulekile kwisibini ngasinye kubudlelwane ukuthatha uxanduva lweengcinga kunye nezenzo zabo. Inxalenye yolawulo lokunxibelelana ngokuzimisela kukuvuma ukubuthathaka kunye neempazamo kwaye uvule utshintsho xa iqabane lakho lichonga iingxaki. Ngaphandle kokuzimisela umntu omnye okanye bobabini emtshatweni banokujamelana nokungazithembi ngokweemvakalelo. Umyeni okanye umfazi unokuziva ngathi akonelanga ngokwaneleyo okanye azive ngathi iqabane lakhe alikhathali kangako malunga nomcimbi othile. Oku kungalingani konxibelelwano lweemvakalelo kunokutshintsha indlela iqabane ngalinye elibona ngayo elinye kwaye kunokubangela ukungazithembi kubudlelwane. Inqanaba lokuthembana omnye komnye liyancipha njengoko ukuzimisela ukwenza iinzame zokwenza ubudlelwane obuhlala buhleli, nothando.
3. Ukujonga kwenye indawo kunxibelelwano
Ukuba umntu sele enengxaki yokunqongophala kokusondelelana nokungazithembi neqabane lakhe, ithuba lokungathembeki lisondele. Gcina ukhumbula: ukungathembeki akuzi nje ngendlela yobudlelwane bomzimba okanye isondo nomnye umntu. Umcimbi unokuba ngokweemvakalelo okanye ngokwasemzimbeni; Naluphi na uqhagamshelo owabelana ngalo nomnye umntu ekufuneka kwabelwane ngalo kuphela neqabane lakho linokuthathwa njengokungathembeki. Umntu ofuna unxibelelwano olusondeleyo nomnye umntu ngaphandle kweqabane lakhe sele ephule izifungo zomtshato. "Ukuthanda, ukuhlonipha, kunye nokuxabisa ..." La magama ahlala elahlekile kwabo baziva benqanyuliwe kulowo babethethwe naye. Ukusondelelana ngokwasemzimbeni, nangona ingesiso kuphela komtshato ophilileyo, kukuzibonakalisa kokhuseleko lweemvakalelo kunye nokuthembela komnye umntu. Ngaphandle kwayo, abaninzi bahendelwa ukuba bafune olu nxibelelwano kumntu ongaphandle komtshato.
4. Ukulungisa emva kokuthandana
Ukulungisa umtshato emva kokuba kufunyenwe okanye kuvunyelwene ngomtshato kuhlala kunzima. Izibini ezininzi azisindi kwinxalenye yenkqubo. Ukuba sele ihambile, uninzi aluthembanga kumaqabane abo kwaye bakhetha ukungawuqhubeli umtshato. Imicimbi ebandakanya ukusondelelana ngokwasemzimbeni okanye isondo ngaphandle komtshato kuhlala kunzima ukuyinqoba kunaleyo ibandakanya ukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo nomnye umntu. Njengoko kukhankanyiwe ngaphambili, ukusondelelana ngokomzimba kubonisa kunye nokubonakaliswa kwangaphandle konxibelelwano lweemvakalelo. Ngelixa umcimbi unokuthi ungaqhubeki ngokwasemzimbeni, kuhlala kunzima ukwahlulahlulahlula njengezinto ezohlukeneyo.
Ukuxolela kunzima; yenziwa nzima nangakumbi xa umcimbi udale iyantlukwano. Ezinye izibini azisokuze ziphinde zichache kolu hlobo lomsitho. Abanye baya kuxolela kodwa bangakukhuthazi ukukhula kubudlelwane kwaye baphile kwimeko efanayo phantsi kwendlela. Abanye, kunjalo, baya kuxolela kwaye baqhubele phambili, bafunda kumava kwaye bakhule besondelelene kunye njengesiphumo. Ngelixa uxolelo kunye noqhagamshelo olubuyiselweyo kunye nokholo kunokwenzeka, enye indlela ebhetele iya kuba kukukhusela umtshato wakho ngokuzimisela nangokungaguquguquki apha nangoku. Sukuvumela ubudlelwane bakho bube lixhoba lokungathembeki kwiwotshi yakho - khuthaza ukukhula nokuqonda emtshatweni wakho; makube nexesha lenu kunye; chitha usuku ngalunye nithandane ngentliziyo epheleleyo nangaphandle kwemiqathango.