Ngaba ulwalamano lwakho Enkathazweni? Susa ezi zinto zine

Umxholo

• Izinto ezine ezibalulekileyo ukuzisusa kulwalamano lwakho
• 1. Ukuhla okumandla kwamandla amabi
• 2. Susa isenzo sokungakhathali
• 3. Igama lokubiza maliphele
• 4. Susa zonke iziyobisi
• Ngaba iyavakala loo nto?

Ngaba ubudlelwane bakho busengxakini? Awukho wedwa. Ubudlelwane obuninzi busengxakini enkulu namhlanje, kwaye abantu abaninzi kakhulu abanalo nofifi lokuba baqale ngaphi ukugcina uthando ababenethemba lokuhlala kulo ubomi babo bonke. Ukuthatha imibuzo ethi, "Ngaba ulwalamano lwam lusengxakini" inokuba sisixhobo esiluncedo ekuboneni naziphi na iiflegi ezibomvu zenkathazo kubudlelwane bakho neparadesi.

Kule minyaka ingama-29 idlulileyo, umbhali wokuqala othengisa kakhulu, umcebisi kunye noMqeqeshi woBomi uDavid Essel ebenceda abantu ukuba baqonde imithetho enamandla ekufuneka eyilandele ukuze kugcinwe ubudlelwane obusematyeni.

Ubudlelwane engxakini? Sukujonga phambili.

Izinto ezine ezibalulekileyo ukuzisusa kulwalamano lwakho

Ukuba ufumanisa ukuba ubuza umbuzo, ingaba ubudlelwane bam busengxakini, nalu uncedo oluchanekileyo lokwazi ukuba wenzeni ukuba ubudlelwane bakho busemngciphekweni. Apha ngezantsi uDavid wabelana ngezinto ezine ezibalulekileyo ukususa kubudlelwane bakho, ukuba ufuna ukuba nethuba lokulwa ukuze uphumelele.

“Kwiminyaka engama-30 eyadlulayo, unyaka wokuqala endasebenza ngawo ngokusesikweni njengomcebisi kunye noMqeqeshi woBomi, ndafikelwa yimeko endandingazi nokuba mandithini.

Indoda nomfazi wayo babetshatile iminyaka engama-30, kwaye xa beza eofisini yam baxela ukuba bebesilwa njengeikati nezinja kangangeminyaka engama-28 kuloo minyaka.

Kwaye bobabini babekhangeleka ngathi bebesilwa iminyaka engama-28. Ubudlelwane engxakini? Akukho mathandabuzo.

Babediniwe. Udiniwe. Ukucaphuka. Babengayiva into omnye nomnye ayithethayo kwiseshoni yethu, ubuncinci kwiseshoni yethu yokuqala, kuba babegcwele inzondo kunye nezinye izinto eziza nolwalamano oluninzi olubi. Ukuzaliswa ngumsindo yenye yeempawu ezine zokuba ubudlelwane bakho busengxakini.

Into endiyenzileyo nabo, kwinto enye endiyenzileyo kule minyaka ingama-30 idlulileyo kunye nezibini ukoyisa ukungaphumeleli kubudlelwane, kwihlabathi liphela, kukuba ndibasuse ngokungathandabuzekiyo izinto ezine kulwalamano ukuze yinike ithuba, ukuyiguqula ukusuka kubudlelwane engxakini ukuya kubudlelwane obonwabisayo.

1. Ukuhla okumandla kwamandla amabi

Ngokuqinisekileyo kufanele ukuba kunciphe kakhulu amandla amabi asekwe phakathi kwabantu ababini kubudlelwane.

Kwaye enye yeendlela esenza ngayo oku, kukuba sibafundise ubugcisa bokuziyeka.

Ithetha ukuthini le nto, ukuba ubuncinci kubo, xa beqaphela ubudlelwane buya kungena kwenye impikiswano, omnye umdlalo wokugxeka, ubuncinci esinye sezibini ukuba azikho zombini kufuneka zithathe umphefumlo omkhulu, kwaye zinqumame, kwaye ziphinde into iyafana nale ilandelayo:

“Sthandwa sam, ndiyakuthanda, kwaye ndifuna ukuhlala kunye. Kodwa sihamba ngomendo oza kuphelisa enye ingxoxo eyoyikisayo. Ke ndizakukhulula. Ndizothatha uhambo, ndiza kubuya ngeyure, masibone ukuba singathetha ngayo emva koko ndinomsindo omncinci kunye nenzondo. "

Kuyo yonke inyani, kungcono kuzo zombini izibini ukuba zikwazi ukwenza oku, kodwa njengoko ndibaxelela abantu endisebenza nabo namhlanje, kuhlala kukho umntu omnye kubudlelwane ekufuneka ethathe uxanduva lokuba ngoyena ungasebenziyo rhoqo.

Ukuyekisa oko akuthethi ukuba ulahle iinkolelo zakho, kodwa oko kuthetha ukuba uyeke amandla amabi, umsindo, ingqumbo, iimfazwe zombhalo eziqhubekayo okanye iimfazwe zomlomo kwaye uyenza kuba uzama ukujika kube kanye ubudlelwane obumnandi obujikeleze.

2. Susa isenzo sokungakhathali

Esi sesibini, kwaye licandelo elibalulekileyo ekubuyiseni uthando.

Ukuziphatha okungalawulekiyo, kwenzeka xa ukwimeko yokuphikisana neqabane lakho, kwaye bakuthumela imiyalezo endaweni yokuphendula isicatshulwa, kwaye masicinge ukuba sisicatshulwa esihle eso, okhetha ukuba uza kubenza balinde. iiyure ezimbini okanye ezine okanye ezintandathu okanye ezisibhozo phambi kokuba uphendule.

Oko kubizwa ngokuba kukungaziphathi kakuhle.

Kwaye sukucinga okomzuzwana ukuba iqabane lakho alazi ukuba wenzani nokusilela kwakho ekuphenduleni imiyalezo yabo. Bayazi kakuhle ukuba utsala enye intshukumo enobukrwada.

Susa konke ukungaziphathi kakuhle, jongana nemiceli mngeni ngqo, ukuze uzinike ithuba lokugcina ubudlelwane.

3. Igama lokubiza maliphele

Olunye lweempawu zokuba ubudlelwane bakho abusebenzi kuxa nobabini, okanye ubuncinci omnye kuni nichitha ukubiza igama.Ukubiza igama kufuneka kuphele! Ngaphezulu kweminyaka engama-30, ndinabantu abatshatileyo abaza kundixelela ukuba bebebiza amaqabane abo onke amagama kule ncwadi onokuyicinga kule minyaka ili-10, 15 okanye ingama-20 idlulileyo.

Oku kufuneka kuyeke ukuba likho ithuba lokugcina ubudlelwane.

Ukubiza igama kudala ukuzikhusela, ukubiza amagama kudala imeko-bume engathandekiyo, kwaye nje ukuba uqale usebenzise ukubiza igama njengesixhobo sokubeka iqabane lakho phantsi, abasokuze baphinde bakuthembe. Ndithembe kule.

4. Susa zonke iziyobisi

Ndiyazi ukuba oku kubonakala kucacile?

Uninzi lwezibini endikhe ndasebenza nazo kwezi ngxabano kunye nobudlelwane obusekwe kumdlalo weqonga, abaphulukana nomqondo wothando omnye komnye, nabo balwa neziyobisi.

Inokuba bubutywala, okanye olunye uhlobo lweziyobisi, ukuchitha kakhulu, ukuzingxala ngokutya, ukuzinkcinkca ngotywala.

Uya kuqaphela kweli nqaku andikathethi kwanto malunga nokuzama ukwenza izinto ezintle kubudlelwane ukuze ndisindise.

Kutheni kunjalo? Ngoba? akukho ndlela esihogweni nayiphi na intshukumo elungileyo kwihlabathi lobudlelwane kunye nothando oluya kuba nefuthe elihlala lihleli.

Ngaba iyavakala loo nto?

Ukuba ubudlelwane bakho busengxakini, fikelela kumcebisi, uMqeqeshi woBomi okanye umlungiseleli ukuze ufumane uncedo.

Kwaye ngelixa usenza loo nto, susa ezi zinto zine zingasentla ezenzeka phantse kuzo zonke ubudlelwane bokungasebenzi kothando, kwaye unokuba usendleleni yakho yokufunda ukuba uthobeke ngakumbi, ubuthathaka kwaye uvuleke kuthando xa kuthelekiswa nokuvalwa kuthando ngeendlela ezisetyenziswa ngabaninzi kuthi.

Uthando alusoze lwanele ukugcina ubudlelwane. Ithatha ngaphezulu kakhulu kunothando. Kuthatha ingqiqo. Kuthatha ingqiqo.

Kuthatha ukulandela ingcebiso ebhalwe kwinqaku elingentla. Ingangumbono olungileyo ukufuna inkuthazo kubudlelwane kwiingcaphuno zengxaki. Xa iingxaki zobudlelwane zikususa amandla akho engqondo nawokwasemzimbeni, ubudlelwane beengcaphuno zeengxaki zinokuba yimitha yethemba enokukunika amandla amahle okuseta izinto.

Kwaye ukuba emva kwayo yonke into, usabona ukuba ulwalamano lwakho luphelile, kungcono ulunqamle ubudlelwane, ushiye ubudlelwane obunobungozi kwaye wenze isiqalo esitsha.

Umsebenzi ka-David Essel'uvunyiwe kakhulu ngabantu abanjengongasekhoyo uWayne Dyer, kwaye nosaziwayo uJenny Mccarthy uthi "UDavid Essel yinkokeli entsha yentshukumo yokucinga elungileyo.

“Ungumbhali weencwadi ezili-10, ezine kuzo ziye zathengisa kakhulu. I-Marriage.com iqinisekisile uDavid njengomnye wabacebisi abaphezulu bezobudlelwane kunye neengcali kwihlabathi.