Luyintoni uLwalamano loLwalamano - iintlobo, izibonelelo kunye nendlela esebenza ngayo

Umbhali: Laura McKinney
Umhla Wokudalwa: 2 Utshazimpuzi 2021
Hlaziya Umhla: 26 Isilimela 2024
Anonim
Luyintoni uLwalamano loLwalamano - iintlobo, izibonelelo kunye nendlela esebenza ngayo - I-Psychology
Luyintoni uLwalamano loLwalamano - iintlobo, izibonelelo kunye nendlela esebenza ngayo - I-Psychology

Umxholo

Abantu abatshatileyo abanengxaki yongquzulwano okanye abavakalelwa kukuba bazalisekisiwe kulwalamano lwabo banokufuna iingcebiso malunga nolwalamano ukubanceda boyise iyantlukwano zabo kwaye benze ubudlelwane obusempilweni.

Ukuba ucinga ngonyango lobudlelwane, kuyanceda ukwazi ukuba ungalindela ntoni, njengokwenza ntoni umcebisi kwezobudlelwane, ukwenza umsebenzi wokucebisa ubudlelwane, kunye nokuba kwenzeka ntoni kuloluleko ngezobudlelwane.

Iimpendulo zale mibuzo zinokukunceda uthathe isigqibo sokuba ngaba ukucetyiswa yinto elungileyo kuwe.

Yintoni ulwalamano lonyango?

Ulwalamano lobudlelwane luhlobo lokucebisa apho abantu ababini kubudlelwane obusondeleyo okanye obufanayo, njengomtshato okanye ubudlelwane bexesha elide lokuthandana, bafumana uncedo ekusebenzeni ngeengxaki zobudlelwane nokusombulula ukungavisisani.


Injongo yonyango lobudlelwane ayikokupeyinta elinye iqabane ngokuba "ngumntu ombi" okanye lowo unetyala kuzo zonke iingxaki kubudlelwane, kodwa endaweni yokunceda izibini zisombulule iingxaki zazo kunye, njengeqela.

Ezinye iingcali zichaza unyango kwimicimbi yobudlelwane njengendawo apho abantu abatshatileyo banokufunda ukuba kutheni unxibelelwano lwabo luthintelwe.

Ngamanye amaxesha, izibini ziyalwa malunga nomxholo othile, njengelinye ilungu lentsebenziswano lifuna ukuya kwelinye ilizwe, kwaye elinye alifuni.

Kwelinye icala, ngamanye amaxesha iingxaki zobudlelwane zenzeka ngenxa yemicimbi enxulumene nenkqubo yonxibelelwano.

Umzekelo, elinye ilungu lobudlelwane linokukhwaza kwaye likhwaze, lenze ukuba elinye lilile xa kuxoxwa ngezimvo.

Iindidi zonyango lobudlelwane

Kukho iintlobo ezininzi zonyango lobudlelwane.

1. Indlela kaGottman

Olunye uhlobo yindlela yeGottman, esebenzisa iiseshoni ezizodwa kunye nezibini ukumisela iingxaki kubudlelwane kunye nokunceda izibini zisebenze kunye ngokufanelekileyo.


2. Unyango olugxile kunyango

Olunye uhlobo lonyango lobudlelwane lonyango olujolise kwiimvakalelo okanye i-EFT. Kwi-EFT, ubudlelwane bezonyango bunceda izibini zichonge iimvakalelo ezisisiseko ezichaphazelekayo kwiingxaki zabo zobudlelwane.

Umzekelo, ukuba abantu abatshatileyo bahlala besilwa ngento yokuba omnye wabo engazihlambi izitya, eyona ngxaki isenokuba lelokuba elinye ilungu lesibini liziva lingonelanga, nto leyo iba mandundu xa iqabane labo lingazihloniphi izicelo zabo zokuncedisa ekuhlambeni izitya.

Ekugqibeleni, ukufunda ukuveza iimvakalelo kwimeko yobudlelwane kunceda amaqabane ukuba aqaphele ukuba akhuselekile.

3. Unyango olubalisayo

Unyango olulandayo sesinye isicwangciso esinokuthi sisebenzise ubudlelwane obunonyango. Kule ndlela yonyango, abantu abasebenza kwiingxaki zobudlelwane bafunda ukwakha iingxelo okanye amabali abazixelelayo ngobuhlobo kunye neqabane labo.

Umzekelo, ukuba ibali lomlingane elinye lobuhlobo alibi kwaphela, oku kungakhokelela kwiingxaki. Ukubhala kwakhona ibali elitsha elilungileyo kunye / okanye eliyinyani kunokunceda izibini ukuba ziqhubele phambili kunye.


4. Unyango lokuziphatha kwengqondo

Ulwalamano lweengcali banokusebenzisa unyango lokuziphatha kwengqondo kwiingcebiso malunga nolwalamano. Olu hlobo lonyango luphandwe kakuhle kwaye luyindlela esebenzayo.

Kunyango lokuziphatha kwengqondo, izibini zinokufunda ukuba iingcinga zabo zichaphazela njani iimvakalelo zabo kunye nokuziphatha kwabo kulwalamano.

Oku kunokubanceda ukuba bakhulise ukuqonda okungakumbi malunga nendlela iingcinga zabo ezinempembelelo ngayo kubomi bemihla ngemihla kubambiswano kunye nendlela abanokuthi bazitshintshe ngayo iingcinga zabo zibe luncedo ngakumbi.

Ngaphandle kweendlela ezahlukeneyo zokucebisa, kukho iindlela ezahlukeneyo zokufumana unyango. Umzekelo, kunokwenzeka ukuthatha inxaxheba kwiingcebiso malunga nobudlelwane kwi-Intanethi endaweni yokuya eofisini yokufumana iingcebiso kumntu.

Ngokucebisa nge-Intanethi, unokhetho lokufumana unyango kwinduduzo yekhaya lakho ngekhamera yewebhu. Unokunxibelelana nonyango lwakho ngengxoxo ekwi-Intanethi okanye nge-imeyile.

Ngelixa kukho iintlobo ezahlukeneyo zokucebisa ubudlelwane, esona sicwangciso silungileyo kwisibini ngasinye siya kuxhomekeka kwiimfuno zabo ezikhethekileyo kunye nemeko. Into esebenzayo esinye isibini isenokungasebenzi kwesinye.

Abanye abantu banokukhetha iindlela ezizezakho, ngelixa abanye beya kwenza kakuhle ngokucebisa nge-Intanethi. Unyango lobudlelwane lunokukunceda ekuchongeni olona hlobo lwengcebiso kwimeko yakho.

Unyango lobudlelwane vs. unyango lomntu ngamnye

Ukuba ufumana iingxaki kubudlelwane bakho, kubalulekile ukuba uqonde umahluko phakathi konyango lobudlelwane kunye nonyango lomntu ngamnye.

Ukuba elinye ilungu lobudlelwane lijongana noxinzelelo okanye ingxaki enzima yobuqu, inokubangela ingxaki kulwalamano; nangona kunjalo, ukululekwa kwezolwalamano akusoloko kuyimfuneko.

Ngamanye amaxesha, ukuba elinye iqabane lisebenza kwiingxaki zalo ngokucebisa umntu ngamnye, iingxaki zobudlelwane ziyazikhathalela.

Oko akutsho ukuba iqabane elijongana neengxaki zobuqu linetyala kuzo zonke iingxaki kubudlelwane, kodwa ngamanye amaxesha, ukusebenza ngokwakho kuyanceda kulwalamano ukuba ingxaki ayizizo ngenxa yonxibelelwano olubi okanye ukwahluka kwezimvo phakathi kwamaqabane.

Umzekelo, ukuba elinye iqabane lineengxaki ezinzima zolawulo lomsindo ezikhokelela kubundlongondlongo kunye nemilo ekhulayo ngokukhawuleza, kungangcono ukuba elo qabane lenze umsebenzi othile ukubanceda boyise umsindo wabo ngoko ke awupheli gazi kubudlelwane.

Kungafuneka ukuba abantu abatshatileyo benze iingcebiso malunga nobudlelwane kamva ukuba ingxabano iyaqhubeka, kodwa ukusombulula ingxaki yolawulo lomsindo linyathelo lokuqala elifanelekileyo.

Kutheni le nto abantu besenza iingcebiso ngobuhlobo?

Abantu bahlala bezibuza malunga neengxaki zobudlelwane ezikhokelela abantu ekwenzeni iingcebiso. Zininzi izizathu ezinokubangela ukuba isibini sikhethe ukuya kufuna iingcebiso. Ezinye zazo zezi zilandelayo:

  • Ukubanceda boyise ukungavisisani ababonakali ngathi basombulula.
  • Kungenxa yokuba bayasokola ukunxibelelana okanye ukuvakalisa iimvakalelo zabo omnye komnye.
  • Ngenxa yokuba befumana uxinzelelo oluphazamise ubudlelwane.
  • Njengendlela yokubanceda bavumelane ngezigqibo ezibalulekileyo, khange bakwazi ukuvumelana ngaphambili.
  • Kungenxa yokuba kubekho ukungathembeki okanye ukuxhatshazwa phakathi kobudlelwane.

Ngamanye amaxesha, izibini zinokufuna iingcebiso kubudlelwane kuba zifuna ukuthintela iingxaki ezizayo.

Umzekelo, banokufumana iingcebiso ekuqaleni komtshato njengendlela yokuzikhusela, ukuze bafunde izakhono zonxibelelwano kwaye baphuhlise izixhobo eziyimfuneko kubambiswano olusempilweni.

Intsomi eqhelekileyo kukuba izibini zifuna kuphela iingcebiso xa uqhawulo-mtshato okanye uqhawulo-mtshato lusondele, kodwa inyani kukuba kubalulekile ukuba ufune iingcebiso ngaphambi kokuba ufike kweli nqanaba, okanye kusenokwenzeka ukuba sele lidlulile ixesha.

Inani leengcebiso ngobudlelwane

Umbuzo omnye abantu bahlala benawo xa becinga ngeengcebiso ngulo, “Ngaba ingcebiso ngoncedo kubudlelwane iyanceda?” Ukuphendula lo mbuzo, kubalulekile ukuba ujonge kwizibalo zeengcebiso.

Nazi iinyani malunga nokufumana iingcebiso:

  • Uphando lubonisa ukuba inqanaba lempumelelo yoNyango oluJolise kwiMvakalelo liphezulu njenge-75%, okuthetha ukuba le ndlela isebenza kuninzi lwezibini.
  • Olunye uphando oluvela kwiAmerican Association of Marriage and Family Therapists lubonisa ukuba iipesenti ezingama-98 zabantu abatshatileyo baxela ukuba ukululekwa ngobudlelwane kwaba yimpumelelo kubo.
  • Ingcebiso ayiqinisekiswanga ngokusebenza; Olunye uphando lubonisa ukuba ama-38% amaqabane awayi kuyifumana iluncedo.
  • Esi sibini siqhelekileyo sichitha iminyaka emithandathu singonwabanga ngaphambi kokuba sifune ukucetyiswa, kungoko abanye abantu bengaziva ngathi bayaphumelela ngokufumana iingcebiso. Mhlawumbi balinde ixesha elide ukufuna ungenelelo lobuchwephesha.

Ngokusekwe kubalo lweengcebiso malunga nolwalamano, kukhuselekile ukuthi ingcebiso inokusebenza, ngakumbi ukuba izibini zifuna uncedo lwengcali kwezonxibelelwano kwiimpawu zokuqala zengxaki ngaphambi kokuba iingxaki zobudlelwane zibe nzima kakhulu ukuzisombulula.

Izibonelelo zokucebisa ngobuhlobo

Uphando lubonisa ukuba iingcebiso zinokusebenza, ngakumbi ukuba izibini zifuna uncedo phambi kokuba iingxaki zibe nzima kakhulu okanye zingene nzulu ukuzisombulula.

Xa izibini zifuna iingcebiso ngaphambi kokuvumela ukungaboni ngasonye kukhule, banokulindela ezinye zezi zibonelelo zilandelayo zokucebisa ngobuhlobo:

  • Iindlela zabo zonxibelelwano ziya kuphucula kwaye zibe sempilweni. Umzekelo, omabini amaqabane aya kuba nexesha elilula lokuchaza iimvakalelo zabo kwaye abuze into abayifunayo kulwalamano ngelixa behlala behloniphekile.
  • Amaqabane aya kukulungela ngakumbi ukwenza izigqibo ezinkulu kunye.
  • Amaqabane okanye amaqabane aya kufumana kunzima ukusombulula iingxaki kunye.
  • Amaqabane aya kufunda izakhono zokusombulula ukungqubana, ezinje ngendlela yokumamela ngcono kunye nendlela yokuchonga ukungaqondani.

Ekugqibeleni, ukululekwa ngobudlelwane kungagcina amaqabane kunye xa bebecinga ngoqhawulo-mtshato okanye ngokwahlukana.

Yeyiphi ingcebiso ngolwalamano engayenziyo?

Ngamanye amaxesha, abantu bacinga ukuba umcebisi wezobudlelwane uya kuxelela ilungu elinye lobambiswano ukuba banetyala kuzo zonke iingxaki kubudlelwane.

Enye into ephosakeleyo kukuba ubudlelwane bezonyango buza "kulungisa" elinye iqabane ukuze ubudlelwane bube nolonwabo kwakhona, kodwa oku akunjalo.

Ekucebiseni ngobudlelwane, omabini amaqabane aya kufunda ukuba banegalelo njani kwimpixano okanye kunxibelelwano olubi, kwaye bobabini bayakufunda iindlela ezisempilweni zokunxibelelana.

Enye into ayenziyo ukucebisa kukuxelela izibini ukuba kufuneka zihlale kunye okanye ziqhawule umtshato. Ayisiyo indima yonyango lobudlelwane ukuxelela isibini ukuba siqhawule umtshato.

Esi sisigqibo ekufuneka sisenziwe sisibini sodwa. Ukuba isibini sikhetha ukuqhawula umtshato, umcebisi kwezobudlelane unokubanceda ukuba baqhubeke nenkqubo ngelixa begcina ungquzulwano lusezantsi.

Ufuna nini unyango lobudlelwane?

Iingcali zicebisa ukuba abantu abatshatileyo bafune unyango kunyango nje ukuba baqaphele ukuba iingxaki zolwalamano ziphazamisa ukusebenza kwemihla ngemihla.

Umzekelo, ukuba abantu abatshatileyo balwa malunga nemicimbi efanayo amaxesha ngamaxesha, okanye bafumanisa ukuba banonxibelelwano olubi ngakumbi kunonxibelelwano oluqinisekileyo kwiintsuku ezininzi, kusenokwenzeka ukuba lixesha lokufuna iingcebiso.

Musa ukulinda de kube nzima iingxaki kangangokuba ungakwazi ukuya phambili.

Isenokuba ngumbono olungileyo ukufuna unyango kunyango ngaphambi kokuba utshate. Oku kunokukunceda wena neqabane lakho ukuba niphuhlise izakhono zomtshato owomeleleyo, ophilileyo.

Umzekelo, unokuxoxa ngokulindelweyo malunga nokwabelana ngesondo, ukuba nabantwana, ukwahlula imisebenzi yasekhaya, kunye nokulawula ezemali.

Oku kukubeka kunyawo lwasekunene lomtshato ophilileyo kuba uyakuyazi into elindelwe liqabane lakho, lenze ukuba kungabikho amathuba okuba ungadibana nonxibelelwano okanye ungquzulwano.

Kwelinye icala elichaseneyo nembonakalo, ezinye izibini zinokufuna iingcebiso xa ziqhawula umtshato okanye zahlukana.

Ukuba abantu abatshatileyo bahlukene kwaye bacinga ukubuyela kunye, unyango lobudlelwane lunokubanceda ukuba babone ukuba iyantlukwano yabo iyaxolelaniswa na.

Kwelinye icala, ukuba isibini sisithathile isigqibo soqhawulo-mtshato, iingcebiso ngezolwalamano zinokuba yindawo ekhuselekileyo kuwo omabini amalungu omtshato ukuveza umsindo kunye nosizi kwaye bafunde iindlela zokubonisana kangangoko emva komtshato.

Ingcebiso inokuba sisimo esifanelekileyo sokulawula ukungavisisani malunga nokugcinwa kwabantwana kunye namalungiselelo ezemali.

Isebenza njani ingcebiso ngolwalamano?

  • Oko ukufundayo ngexesha lokucebisa ubudlelwane

Xa ucinga ngokucebisa, kusenokwenzeka ukuba uyazibuza ukuba lusebenza njani unyango kwimicimbi yobudlelwane. Kumanqanaba okuqala, iiseshoni zonyango azizukungqubana kakhulu.

Kungenxa yokuba ulwalamano kunyango luqala ngolwalamano lwakho kunye nengcali yokuqokelela ulwazi oluvela kuwe kunye neqabane lakho ukuze ufumane ukuqonda ngembali yobomi bakho kunye nembali yeengxaki zobudlelwane.

Iqabane ngalinye liya kufumana ithuba lokuthetha kunye nokwabelana ngecala labo ebalini.

Emva kweseshoni yakho yokuqala, ubudlelwane bezonyango bunokucela iqabane ngalinye ukuba lidibane nonyango, ngenxa yoko omabini amaqabane anokwabelana ngolwazi abanokuthi bangakhululeki ukwabelana ngalo phambi kweqabane labo.

Iseshoni nganye yenza ukuba ugqirha abone indlela abantu abathandanayo abanxibelelana ngayo kunye nokuba kukho umahluko kwindlela abadibana ngayo xa bebodwa.

  • Yintoni onokuyilindela kwingcebiso

Unokulindela ukuba iimvakalelo ezinamandla zivele ngexesha lonyango lobudlelwane, kwaye izinto zinokuya zisiba mbi kangangexesha elide ngaphambi kokuba zibengcono.

Amaxesha amaninzi, xa izibini zinganxibelelani kakuhle okanye zingaqondani, kungenxa yokuba zibambe ulwazi okanye zisebenzisa iindlela zokuzikhusela.

Zama kwakhona:Luthini uQinisekiso lwakho lweSitayile soNxibelelwano

Oku kuthetha ukuba iimvakalelo zokwenyani kunye neengcinga zinokuvela okokuqala ngexesha leseshini yonyango lobudlelwane, ekhokelela kutshintsho olunzulu phakathi kwamaqabane.

Njengoko iiseshoni zokucebisa ubudlelwane ziqhubeka, ungalindela ukuba umcebisi wezobudlelwane asebenze njengomlamli. Umcebisi wakho usenokwalatha imiba ethi ivele ngexesha lokunikwa kwengcebiso okanye achaze iindlela zonxibelelwano ezingalunganga.

Ngaphezulu kwekhosi yonyango, unokulindela ukuba ufunde izakhono zonxibelelwano ezingcono, utshintshe indlela ojonga ngayo iqabane lakho kunye nobudlelwane, kwaye uphuhlise amandla okusebenza neqabane lakho njengomlingane kunokuba nibe ngumchasi.

Jonga kwakhona: Yintoni esinokuyifunda kunyango lwezibini

Ulwenza njani ulwalamano kunyango lusebenze?

Iingcebiso malunga nobudlelwane kunokuba ngumceli mngeni, ke kubalulekile ukuba omabini amalungu obambiswano azinikele kwaye azimisele ukwenza inzame zokuwenza asebenze.

Kukho, ngethamsanqa, amanye amanyathelo onokuwathatha ukwenza ubudlelwane bolwalamano lusebenze ngakumbi.

Nazi ezinye iingcebiso:

  • Nyaniseka. Akunyanzelekanga ukuba wabelane nazo zonke iinkcukacha zobomi bakho kunye nonyango lwakho, kodwa ukuba uzama ukuzibonakalisa ngokukhanya okuthile, okanye wenza ibali elingeyonyani ngobuhlobo bakho, ugqirha wakho akasayi kuba nakho ukukunceda.
  • Yiba ngaphambili malunga nezizathu zakho zokufuna ingcebiso. Kubalulekile, ukunyaniseka kwiinjongo zakho, ke ulwalamano lwakho nengcali inokungenelela ngokufanelekileyo.
  • Xoxa ngezinto ozifunde kunyango xa ubuyela ekhaya. Unokuchitha iyure okanye ezimbini ngeveki kunye nonyango lwakho lobudlelwane, ke kubalulekile ukuba udlulise izakhono ozifundileyo kunyango kubomi bakho bokwenyani emva kokuba ubuyele ekhaya.

Zama kwakhona: Ukunyaniseka Quiz izibini

Kufuneka wenze ntoni ukuba iqabane lakho liyala unyango?

Ngamanye amaxesha, elinye ilungu lobambiswano linokufuna unyango, kodwa elinye liyala.

Ukuba kunjalo, unokucinga ngokuya kunyango lomntu ngamnye ukubona ukuba ikhona na imicimbi yobuqu onokuthi usebenze kuyo, ukuba isonjululwe, iya kukunceda ukuba ube ngumntu onxibelelana ngcono.

Mhlawumbi ukuphucula unxibelelwano lwakho kunye nezakhono zokusombulula ukungqubana kuya kunceda ubuhlakani.

Ukuba iqabane lakho liyala unyango, kunokuba luncedo kuwe ukuba uthethe nomlingane wakho malunga nesizathu sakhe sokungafuni ukuzama ukucebisa ngobuhlobo.

Mhlawumbi iqabane lakho lixhalabile ukuba unyango aluzukusebenza, okanye iqabane lakho livakalelwa kukuba ukuya kuthethwano kukhetho olubi. Unokwazi ukunceda iqabane lakho loyise ukungavumi ukuya kunyango ukuba uyabavumela baveze uloyiko lwabo.

Kwelinye icala, unokulalanisa kwaye uvumelane nesinye isicwangciso, njengokungena qho ngeveki malunga nobudlelwane kunye nayo nayiphi na imiba efuna ukuxoxwa.

Uyifumana njani ingcali kwezobudlelwane?

Ukuba ufuna i-Therapist yobudlelwane, kunokuba luncedo ukukhangela oochwephesha bengingqi, abacebisi, oonontlalontle, okanye umtshato kunye nonyango lweentsapho.

Iziko lokucebisa lasekuhlaleni okanye iklinikhi yempilo yengqondo ngokunokwenzeka iqeshe omnye waba baqeqeshi abakulungeleyo ukubonelela ngonyango lobudlelwane.

Unokwenza ukukhangela kwi-Intanethi kwindawo yakho okanye ubuze umhlobo okanye umntu osebenza naye ngesindululo malunga nonyango olusebenzele bona.

Ngaphakathi komntu ngokuchasene nonyango lwe-Intanethi / lweapp

Xa ufuna i-Therapist yobudlelwane, kuya kufuneka uthathele ingqalelo ukuba uza kukhetha umntu okanye unyango lwe-Intanethi. Ukuba ulwalamano olukude okanye iqabane lakho lihambela umsebenzi, kunokuba luncedo ukukhetha i-online Therapist.

Unyango kwi-Intanethi lunokuba luncedo ukuba wena neqabane lakho nihlukene kwaye anihlali kunye.

Ukongeza, unyango lobudlelwane kwi-Intanethi lunokuba yinto elungileyo kwizibini ezineshedyuli ezixakekileyo kodwa zisafuna ukwenza ixesha lonyango. Unokufumanisa ukuba unyango kwi-Intanethi lubiza kancinci kwezinye iimeko.

Isiphelo

Unyango lobudlelwane lunokunceda abantu abatshatileyo abajongana nengxabano okanye uxinzelelo ekunokubonakala ngathi abanako ukusombulula ngokwabo.

Unyango lobudlelwane unokunika umbono ongathathi hlangothi kwaye ancede izibini ziphuhle izakhono zonxibelelwano ezisempilweni ukuze ungquzulwano lungalawuleki.

Ngelixa kuyinto eqhelekileyo kwizibini ukufuna iingcebiso xa kuvela iingxaki, amanye amaqabane anokufuna nokucebisa ngaphambi komtshato ukwenza isiseko esomeleleyo somtshato ophilileyo.

Nokuba injani imeko yakho, uninzi lophando lubonisa ukuba ingcebiso ngolwalamano iyasebenza.