Umxholo
Kubantu abaninzi, iiveki neenyanga ezilandela ukwahlukana emtshatweni okanye uqhawulo-mtshato zizaliswe ziimvakalelo ezininzi. Ukuziva ukhululekile, uhlaziyiwe, unxunguphalo, unxunguphalo, isizungu kunye noloyiko konke kudibana kwilaphu elintsonkothileyo. Iimvakalelo ziyatshintsha kwaye zitshintshatshintshe, ngamanye amaxesha ngokungxolayo, njengoko abantu beqala ukutshintsha ikhosi entsha ebomini babo.
Nokuba zithini na iimeko zokwahlukana / zoqhawulo-mtshato, uninzi lwabantu lufumana amanqanaba aphezulu oxinzelelo kunye nezinye iimvakalelo ezingalunganga ngeli xesha. Abanye, utywala buba yindlela yokufumana isiqabu sexeshana kwezi mvakalelo zingathandekiyo. Kwabanye abaziva benyanzelekile kubudlelwane babo, utywala buba sisixhobo "sokuphila" kwaye "bafumane amathuba alahlekileyo." Nokuba kuselwa isiqabu okanye ukusela ukuphucula, ukusela utywala yinto eqhelekileyo kuphuhliso lwabaninzi ngexesha lokuzahlula / lokuqhawula umtshato.
Ngoku sukuqala ukuphambuka .... Ngokucacileyo, ayinguye wonke umntu owahlukanayo okanye oqhawula umtshato oba likhoboka lotywala! Kodwa, ukwanda kunye notshintsho ekuseleni utywala yinto yokugcina iso. Ukuqaphela ukuba utshintsho lwenzeka ngokusela kwakho yinxalenye ebalulekileyo yokuhlala ngaphandle kwengxaki ngokusetyenziswa gwenxa kotywala. Zintathu iindlela eziphambili onokugcina ngazo umbono wakho kutywala, kodwa zifuna ukuba unyaniseke kwisiqu sakho kwaye uvulele ingxelo. Ezi zezi: Izimvo zabanye abantu malunga nendlela osela ngayo; iziphumo ezibi ohlangabezana nazo ngenxa yokusela; kwaye "nelizwi elincinci entlokweni yethu" elithetha into ayilunganga. Makhe sijonge ngokukhawuleza kwimizekelo embalwa.
Izimvo zabanye abantu:
Enye yeendlela ezilungileyo zokugcina iithebhu kwindlela esiziphethe ngayo, njengokusebenzisa utywala, kukumamela izimvo zabahlobo bethu kunye nabantu esibathandayo. Amagqabantshintshi kunye neenkxalabo ozivakalisileyo malunga nokwanda kwemali, ukuphindaphinda okanye emva kweziganeko zokusela yinto ekufuneka uyiqwalasele: “Awusiso isilwanyana seqela ngoku uqhawule umtshato? !!!” “Ngoku ukuba nihlukene noLaura, ndiqaphele ukuba usela kakhulu.” Nanini na xa ndikufowunela mvanje, ubusoloko usela. ” Utshintshe nyani okoko waqhawula umtshato kwaye uhlala nabantu beqela elahluke kakhulu, ndinexhala lakho. ” Ngelixa ingxelo kunye nezimvo ezivela kubahlobo bethu nakwabo sibathandayo inokuba sesinye sezona zibonakaliso zixela ukuba kukho into engahambanga kakuhle notywala, ihlala iyeyona ikhutshelwa lula okanye icaciswe. “UJane unomona nje wokuba angaphinde aphile njengomntu ongatshatanga, ngoku? Ndiyiphila kancinci ngoku ekubeni ndingatshatanga. ” "UJim akanakukuqala ukuqonda ukuba bekunzima kangakanani kunyaka ophelileyo, kungoko ke ndisela rhoqo nangoku? !! ... ke ngoku ?!" Xa abanye beqaphela ukusetyenziswa kotywala okunyanzelekileyo okanye okuqhelekileyo nokuzisa ingqalelo yakho, kubalulekile ukuva umyalezo onenkxalabo kunokuba uvumele ukukhuselwa kwakhe kwaye kungavumi oko kubonakaliswayo.
Iziphumo ezibi:
Njengoko iipateni zokusela zisanda, iziphumo zokuziphatha zihlala zilandela. Iziphumo ezibi zinokuba mnene njengemingxunya, ukungaziva unempilo ngokubanzi kunye nokuba sempilweni, ukuzuza ubunzima, okanye ukudinwa ngokweemvakalelo / ukubola. Ezinye iziphumo zinokuncitshiswa kokusebenza, izilumkiso zengqesho / ukukhalimela, ii-DWI's, ukungadibani ngokwesondo okungafunekiyo okanye okungafanelekanga ngelixa unxilile, ungakhathali, okanye isimilo sokungakhathali phantsi kwefuthe okanye ukukhathazeka kwezempilo okunxulumene notywala. Kwakhona, umba obalulekileyo malunga 'neziphumo ezibi' kukunyaniseka kuwe malunga nesiphumo (s) sokwenzeka. Ukuphendula okokuqala kwezi ziganeko kunokubakho ukubekeka ityala kwinto engeyiyo eyethu okanye ekunikezeleni ingqiqo yokuba kutheni lo msitho wenzekile. Eminye imibuzo onokuthi uzibuze yona yile, “Ngaba ezi zinto bezisenzeka kum phambi kokuba ndiqale ukusela ngaphezulu ... ndidibana okwangoku? ”
Elo "lizwi lincinci entlokweni yethu":
Esinye seziqwenga ezibaluleke kakhulu malunga nokuba ingaba utywala bakho buye babayingxaki yimiyalezo esizinika yona malunga nokusetyenziswa kwethu. Mamela "ilizwi elincinci entloko yethu." Ukuba uthi, “Owu nkwenkwe, ayilunganga le nto.” Ke lixesha lokuba uzimamele kwaye uthathe isicwangciso sokulungisa. Ingxaki kukuba abantu abaninzi abakumanqanaba okuqala okuhlangabezana nengxaki ngokusela kwabo abayimameli imiyalezo abazithumelela yona. Imeko yokunqanyulwa kwenzeka. Kufana nokujonga iringi eshushu esitovini kwaye uthi, "Jonga uJim, laa ringi ishushu. Ungayichukumisi. ” Kwaye ... uya phambili uyichukumise. Yimpambano leyo? !! Ukuba ilizwi lakho langaphakathi likuxelela into engalunganga, okanye liyabuza ukuba kukho into engalunganga, liphulaphule!
Ukuba, emva kokuphononongwa ngokunyanisekileyo kwezi zinto kubonakala ngathi uphuhlise indlela enzima yokusela kunokuba kufanelekile, lixesha lokuba wenze utshintsho oluthile.