Umxholo
- Umgaqo wokuthandana # 1: Lawula ulindelo lwakho
- Umgaqo wokuthandana # 2: Beka iinjongo zakho
- Umgaqo ukuthandana # 3: Ukulungelelanisa izenzo zakho neenjongo zakho
- Umgaqo wokuthandana # 4: Musa ukuzikhawulela
- Umgaqo wokuthandana # 5: Yiba nethemba
- Umgaqo wokuthandana # 6: Umbulelo sisosi eyimfihlo
- Umgaqo wokuthandana # 7: Hamba ebusweni boyika
Xa ujonga intsingiselo 'yomgaqo,' uthetha "inyani esisiseko okanye isindululo esisebenza njengesiseko senkqubo yenkolelo okanye yokuziphatha - okanye yokulandelelana kwezizathu." Ngumgaqo, okanye umgangatho wokusebenza.
Yeyiphi into engaqhelekanga kubantu abaninzi ukuba bayithathele ingqalelo xa kufikwa kumba wokuthandana, ngakumbi xa uninzi lwethu lubekiwe ukuba luyithiyile imithetho?
Kodwa ukuba besinemigaqo yethu yokuDibana esayisebenzisa njengesikhokelo sokwenza imisebenzi yethu yokuthandana, ngekhe sidinge ukuthandana ngokungathandabuzekiyo ngelixa sinethemba lokuba sinokufumana indawo ngokufumana iqabane elilungileyo nelifezekileyo kuthi phakathi kolwandle abantu kwakhona.
Endaweni yoko, sinokwenza izigqibo ezingcono malunga nendlela esilichitha ngayo ixesha lethu elixabisekileyo kunye nokugxila, kwaye sinokuzilungelelanisa nabantu abalungileyo.
Ngoku iyavakala, akunjalo?
Sifake imigaqo ye-7 yokuthandana kanye apha onokuyithanda ukuyisebenzisa njengesikhokelo sobomi bakho bokuthandana, okanye esinokukukhuthaza ukuba wenze ubugcisa (kunye nokulinda) inguqulelo yakho.
Umgaqo wokuthandana # 1: Lawula ulindelo lwakho
Ngesizathu esingaqhelekanga, sihlala sinombono odidekileyo kunye nolindelo olungeyonyani xa kufikwa kumba wokuthandana, ukukhetha iqabane kunye nendlela esiqonda ngayo ubudlelwane obonwabileyo nobusempilweni.
Mnan Inyaniso, uthando kunye nomtshato azizukuphuma ngendlela efanayo neDisney ethanda ukuyiveza.
Kwaye umntu oyintombazana okanye oyintombazana ongangcangcazeliyo unokukuvuthuza ngolwango lokuqala, okanye ixesha elininzi.
Endaweni yokuvumela inkanuko yethu isikhokele sinokuyeka ukucinga malunga noko sikulindeleyo kubudlelwane kunye neqabane kwaye siqale ukugxila ekufumaneni ukuba endaweni yokuphazanyiswa yi-glitz kunye ne-glam yesithambiso esithile, iimpahla ezintle okanye umsebenzi umthambo!
Ukuchitha ixesha ukucinga malunga nokuba loluphi uhlobo lolwalamano esilifunayo kwaye kutheni sifuna njalo. Kananjalo nophando lokuqonda ukuba ingaba ubudlelwane bethu obukhethiweyo buyinyani kuya kukunceda uqonde umahluko phakathi kwento ocinga ukuba uyayifuna, kwaye ufuna ntoni. Oku kuya kukunceda ujonge ezi mpawu zibalulekileyo kwiqabane kunokuba ufune inkanuko, okanye umtsalane kwimbonakalo yokuqala.
Lixesha elichithwe kakuhle kunye nomgaqo-siseko ogqibeleleyo wokuthandana- oya kukugcina usendleleni eya kumhla wamaphupha akho.
Umgaqo wokuthandana # 2: Beka iinjongo zakho
Awuphumi kuhambo lwemoto kwenye indawo ungazi apho uya khona, kwaye ukuba uyayenza, uyakube ushiya uvulelekile kuyo nantoni na ewela kwindlela yakho (kwaye ungaphoswa ngamakhulu eendawo ezikhuthazayo apha endleleni).
Kuyafana nangokuthandana.
Qala ukubhala phantsi into oyifunayo, ufuna bani, loluphi uhlobo lweempawu abanazo, niyakuphathana njani, luhlobo luni lwendlela yokuphila eniyifunayo kwaye niqala ukudweba loo mntu kuni.
Cacisa kangangoko kunokwenzeka xa ubeka iinjongo kwaye uqhubeke nokuzijonga njengoko utshintsha kwaye ukhula.
Kodwa musa ukuyakhela kwiintsomi, yakhele kwinyani kwaye ube yinyani.
Akukho xesha konke konke, uyakucacisa malunga nokuba ufuna bani, kwaye uya kuthumela umyalezo ocacileyo kuThixo okanye kuMdali malunga nezinto ozifunayo ukuze bakuncede ucoce umendo wakho kwaye uzilungelelanise iinjongo zakho. Oko kusikhokelela kakuhle kumgaqo wokuthandana # 3!
Umgaqo ukuthandana # 3: Ukulungelelanisa izenzo zakho neenjongo zakho
Uninzi lwabantu lunesitayile sokuncamathisela esingakhuselekanga kunye namava ethu ebomini anefuthe kwindlela esinxibelelana ngayo nabanye - ngokulungileyo okanye okubi.
Amaxesha amaninzi ayingomaqabane ethu abekek 'ityala ngemicimbi esinayo kubuhlobo kuthi.
Ukuba besiyazi into esiyifunayo (jonga umgaqo wokuthandana # 1) kwaye emva koko sizimisele ukuma ngokweminqweno yethu kwaye sifumane le nto siyifunayo emva koko sikuloo ndawo. Ingxaki elandelayo esinokuyifumana yindlela esinokuthi singene ngayo kweyethu indlela xa kufikwa ekufumaneni iqabane elifanelekileyo.
Ke, kulapho uqala khona ukugxila ekubeni kutheni ungalandeli indlela oya kuyo. Kutheni utsala uhlobo olungalunganga lwabantu (okanye siza kuthi kutheni utsaleleka kubantu abangalunganga) kwaye ungayilungisa njani le nto.
Ukusebenza koku ekugqibeleni kuya kukukhokelela ekubeni ube kwindawo efanelekileyo ngokwengqondo, ngokweemvakalelo nangokwasemzimbeni ukutsala kunye nokugcina iqabane elifanelekileyo kuwe.
Akukho ntsomi apha ndiyoyika nje ukuba nomtsalane, ukuzonwabisa kunye nokuzazi, nceda!
Umgaqo wokuthandana # 4: Musa ukuzikhawulela
Abantu abakuxeleli yonke into malunga nabo kwangoko. Awuzivezi ngokwakho ebantwini kwangoko.
Ukuba ukhe wathandana nomnye umntu, kwaye uyamthanda kodwa awukaqiniseki ngokunyaniseka, mxelele, kwaye ubabuze ukuba nisenokubonana na ukuze nifumane okungakumbi ngomnye nomnye. Ngaphandle koko, unokuphosa ubunzulu babo obufihliweyo obunokuthi bulungelelanise nobakho.
Awusoze uyazi ukuba uyayenza le nto awunakufuneka ujonge nzima ukufumana umntu ogqibeleleyo kwaye awufuni kuthumela imiyalezo okanye imithandazo ukufumana umntu ogqibeleleyo kuphela ukwala izipho eziziswa kuwe kwangoko wena?
Khumbula, kwakhona, ukufumana iqabane ngumdlalo wamanani, kuya kufuneka uphume uye kwindawo yokubonana ukuze ufumane umntu- ngekhe baye kuza kunkqonkqoza emnyango ukuze bakubuze.
Ke ukuba awuphumi kakhulu, qala ukufumanisa ukuba ungangena njani phambi kwabantu abaninzi kwaye wandise inethiwekhi yakho yonxibelelwano.
Umgaqo wokuthandana # 5: Yiba nethemba
Sukuncama, qhubeka uphonononge kwaye uhlaziye iinjongo zakho kunye nolindelo, jonga kumava akho ngokunxulumene neenjongo zakho kunye nolindelo, kwaye ulungelelanise utshintsho.
Vavanya ukuba kutheni ucinga ukuba wenzani, umzekelo, ungowasetyhini olinde indoda ethile ukuba ikubuze. Ngaba uza kuvumela umntu onokuthi afezeke kuwe ukuba ahambe ngaphaya komgaqo ongabalulekanga kwezentlalo onje? Unokuba esoyika, ukubuza kodwa oko akuthethi ukuba ubuthathaka.
Kuya kufuneka uhlengahlengise iinjongo zakho, kunye nolindelo okanye ungadinga ukuphucula imeko yakho ukuze ulungelelane neqabane lakho elifanelekileyo kwaye kufanelekile ukwenza njalo.
Ukuthandana kunokuba lokonwaba kunye nemidlalo ebutsheni bakho kodwa ngaxa lithile, kuya kujika kube kubi. Olu lutyalo mali lobomi bonke ukuba ucwangcisa ukutshata. Ke unokusebenzisa eli xesha ukufumana olona hlobo lwakho.
Imivuzo emikhulu iya kuza ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba wenzile!
Umgaqo wokuthandana # 6: Umbulelo sisosi eyimfihlo
Abanye abantu bahlawula inkonzo yomlomo kumbulelo, kodwa kum, kufana nokutshintsha 'kokuvula'.
Ukuba usikelelwe ngamava (nokuba ayingawo la mava ubuwafuna), ngelixa uzama ukufezekisa into ebomini, iyakunceda ukuba uzobe indlela eya empumelelweni.
Iya kuba ibalaselisa indlela yakho kwaye ikufundise izifundo ozifunayo ukuze ufezekise iinjongo zakho.
Yiba nombulelo ngalo lonke ithuba, ukuqonda, kunye namava amnandi okanye amabi. Nokuba uphulukene neyona nto iphambili kwiinjongo zakho okanye kulindelo lwakho, nokuba kuye kwafuneka ufunde isifundo esinzima bulela.
Kodwa khumbula awunyanzelekanga ukuba unamathele kwinto oyifumeneyo ukuba awuyithandi, funda nje kwaye ukhule kuyo ngombulelo.
Ukuba unamava anengxaki musa ukuhlala kuwo ngenxa yombulelo- phuma uye kubulela uthixo ngokukubonisa into ongafanele uyenze kwaye uqale ngokucela isikhokelo ngokulungisa nantoni na kuwe eyayitsala loo meko.
Umgaqo wokuthandana # 7: Hamba ebusweni boyika
Ukuthandana kungoyikisa, ukuzibeka phaya kwaye ubonise ukuba semngciphekweni kumntu ongamaziyo kunokuba ngumceli mngeni, kodwa kukho intetho ethi uloyiko ngutitshala wakho omkhulu.
Uloyiko lukubonisa ukuba loluphi ucango ekufanele ukuba uhambe ngalo kwaye likuvulele kwihlabathi elitsha, ukuba nje ungangena nje.
Ke sukuvumela uloyiko lukuyekise ekubambeni lowo uza kuba liqabane elifanelekileyo.
Phuma apho uhambe ngeminyango ekoyikisayo!