Umxholo
- Abantu batshata ngenxa yezizathu ezininzi
- Iqhekeka phi ikuki?
- Indlela ebesiyiyo
- Ingcebiso yethu yokuba "ungatshata nam?"
Ngenye imini bendinencoko enomdla kunye nonyana wam oneminyaka eli-10, osandula ukuba nomdla kakhulu kwizixhobo ngenxa yabo bonke abalinganiswa abaphambili ababona bezithwele. Undibuze umbuzo olungileyo othi "mama zimbi izibhamu" endiphendule ngazo ndathi umpu awulunganga kwaye ngokwazo, kodwa uzibeke ezandleni ezingalunganga, kwaye kukho iresiphi yentlekele. Into oyifunayo ilayisensi yokuphatha izixhobo. Kwaye njengoko kungqinwe kukrakra amaxesha ngamaxesha adlulileyo, iphepha-mvume lilayisensi nje yokubulala, kwaye ayisosikhokelo sokuphatha intsimbi ebangela ukufa kwangoko. Kuyafana, kodwa ngokuqinisekileyo ngokomfuziselo ndiyakholelwa ukuba ngumtshato. Apho umntu anokungena kwiHolo yeSixeko aze atshate kwimizuzu eli-10 kwiminyaka embalwa eyadlulayo, ngoku banenkqubo ye-intanethi apho ngokuqinisekileyo ngokuhlawula umrhumo othile, unokufumana kwangoko iphepha-mvume lomtshato; lula! Ewe, akunjalo, xa kufuneka ubuyisele umva inkqubo ....
Abantu batshata ngenxa yezizathu ezininzi
Zininzi izizathu zokuba kutheni abantu betshata. Abanye batshata ngenxa yothando, abanye batshatela imali, abanye batshata ngenxa yesikhundla, abanye batshata ngenxa yokukhula kwemisebenzi, abanye batshata ukuze babe nosapho ababengenalo, abanye batshata kuba beziva kunyanzelekile, njalo njalo. Iminyaka engama-20, ndibone umtshato ngeendlela ezininzi, kwaye andigwebi.
Iqhekeka phi ikuki?
Nangona kunjalo, ngaphandle kwexesha, inkcubeko, okanye ubudala, inye into ekufuneka yonke imitshato ifanane ukuze ihlale yomelele, bubudlelwane bokuthandana. Ukuqonda ukuba ndikunika u-A, ndingalindela ukufumana u-B.Izandi zilula, kodwa ayisiyiyo. Uninzi lwemitshato iyasilela kuba isibini asinakufikelela kwiphepha elinye. Ngamanye amagama, elinye iqabane alinakuba phantsi kokuqonda ukuba iqabane litshatile kuba limthanda, kwaye elinye liphantsi kokuqonda ukuba liya kuvunywa lusapho kuba lenza ikhaya elilungileyo, lithembekile, kwaye lilungile abantwana kwaye unokuba ne-flings ecaleni. Okanye umzekelo, ucinga ukuba batshatile kuba uyathandwa ngenxa yento ayiyo, kodwa unezicwangciso ngemali yabo kwaye wamtshata kuba engumondli olungileyo.
Indlela ebesiyiyo
Kwiinkulungwane ezidlulileyo, kwihlabathi liphela, kubandakanya iAsia, Middle East kunye neYurophu xa bekukho umntu omangalelayo, izizathu zomtshato zichazwe ngokuchanekileyo njengesindululo seshishini. Umzekelo, Mhlawumbi umtshato wawuza kuzisa uxolo kula mazwe mabini, okanye wavumela igama losapho ukuba liqhubeke neziphumo, okanye lazisa ukufana kwenkcubeko kunye nokhuseleko esixekweni njl.
Ayikuko ukuthi ndingumxhasi waso nasiphi na sezizathu okanye ndibakhuthaze. Nangona kunjalo, inyaniso kukuba, ngoku iintsuku, imitshato emininzi kunye nobudlelwane obujika bube yimitshato yinto entle kakhulu. Balilifu lokudideka lokusondela, abalekele kulo ngaphandle kwengqiqo; Inkanuko ididekile luthando, kunye ne-bond ngaphandle kokufaneleka okanye isiseko esomeleleyo. Ngeenkqubo ezithandwayo zikamabonwakude, ezinje ngokutshata iMillionaire, iBachelor, Ukutshata ekuboneni kokuQala, ukuTshintshisa uMfazi, ingqokelela yooMama abaDelekileyo, iThe Ninety Day Fiancé njl. Kwakhona, andizelanga kugweba. Ukuba umntu ukholelwa kuthando xa uqala ukumbona kwaye ufuna ukutshata nalowo amthandayo kanye kanye, kwaye ulungile ukuba abe ngumfazi wendebe, kulungile ngandlela zonke. Kodwa sithandwa awunakumangaliswa xa ufumana oko ukufumanayo, emva kokuba ucango luvulelwe kwibhokisi kaPandora okanye xa kucinyiwe izibane.
Abanye banokuthi kwiminyaka engama-50 okanye eyadlulayo, xa iintsana ezazitshata zazitshata, kwakungekho ubudlelwane bexesha elide lokuthandana kunye namazinga oqhawulo mtshato ayephantsi kakhulu. Ewe, inyani yile, kuba abantu bahlala kunye, oko akuthethi ukuba izinto zisebenza ngokonwaba.
Ingcebiso yethu yokuba "ungatshata nam?"
Kule posi, ndiyakumema ukuba uqwalasele ikhontrakthi yoMtshato ukuba ucinga ukuthatha ubudlelwane bakho ukuya kwinqanaba elilandelayo okanye ukuba ukhe wadibana nolo thando xa ubona umntu wokuqala kwaye ufuna ukubopha iqhina. Ubusazi ukuba kwinkulungwane okanye ngaphezulu eyadlulayo, phambi kokuba urhulumente abandakanyeke kwimitshato, kwaye kukho iilayisensi zomtshato, kwakukho izivumelwano zomtshato? Kulapho ke uluvo lwendlu, luvela khona. Iinkolo ezahlukeneyo kunye neemvelaphi zesizwe, zinamagama ahlukeneyo kubo. I-Katuba ngesiJuda, okanye i-Katb-el-Ketab e-Islam, okanye ii-Sacraments zamaHindu zonke iindlela ezindala zokubhengezwa komtshato kunelayisensi yomtshato kwaye baneemfuno ezahlukeneyo. Nangona ikakhulu bexhalabele ezemali kwaye bejongela phandle amandla omfazi okufumana umvuzo, uninzi lweenkolo lumisela ngokukodwa ukuba kwenziwe isivumelwano somtshato ngabefundisi bezenkolo, apho omabini la maqela avumelane ngemigaqo ngaphambi kokuba aye ezantsi.
Andicebisi ikhontrakthi yezemali; nangona ndikholelwa ukuba loo ndawo ifuna ukugqunyelelwa kwisivumelwano ngokucinga ukuba sesona sizathu siqhelekileyo sokuqhawula umtshato. Kodwa ubusazi ukuba ngokuchaseneyo noko abaninzi bakucingayo, imicimbi yokulalana ngaphandle komtshato ayisosizathu sokuqala soqhawulo mtshato? Ewe, imicimbi engaphandle komtshato, imicimbi yezemali ziimpawu kodwa hayi oyena nobangela. Ngokusekwe kwiipolls ezininzi, oyena nobangela uphambili kukucinga okungeyonyani ngenxa yonxibelelwano olubi. Ke ngoko, into endiyicebisayo sisivumelwano esinenjongo, apho omabini amaqela achaza ngokucacileyo ukuba ziyintoni iinjongo zomtshato, kungoko ulindelo lwabo kumaqabane abo omtshato. Isivumelwano ngokuqinisekileyo siya kucetyiswa ngaphambi komtshato kwaye hayi emva kokuba ngelo xesha, nakuphi na okulindelweyo kuya kuphuma kwimida.
Nazi iindawo ezili-11 eziphambili ekufuneka zibandakanywe kwisivumelwano somtshato esiqinileyo:
1. Amalungiselelo omsebenzi
- Ngaba kuyakubakho isondlo sokuqala okanye omabini la maqela aya kuba enegalelo elilinganayo kwiindleko zokuphila
- Ngaba kuya kubakho iakhawunti edibeneyo, iakhawunti edibeneyo kunye neakhawunti yomrhumo ngamnye, okanye iiakhawunti ezahlukileyo nje?
- Iiyure zomsebenzi. Zingaphi iiyure ngeveki ezityunjelwe ukusebenza zamkelekile. Lo mmandla ungabandakanya ukuhamba nokuba ingaba bobabini amaqabane ayavumelana na neshedyuli yokuhamba.
- Kwimeko apho kukho ukugula ngokwasemzimbeni, ukudendwa okanye ukupheliswa, abantwana, imicimbi yosapho, ukugula ngengqondo, apho elinye iqabane lingakwazi ukusebenza, lulindelo luni?
2. Imicimbi yekhaya
- Ngubani ophethe ukupheka
- Ngubani ophethe umsebenzi wokucoca
- Ngubani ophethe indawo yokuhlamba iimpahla?
- Ngubani ophethe ivenkile
- Ngubani ophethe isondlo
- Ngubani ophethe ukuhlawula iindleko
3. Izinto endizithandayo
- Yeyiphi into ayithandayo umntu ngamnye angathanda ukuchitha ixesha eyedwa eyenzayo
- Zeziphi izinto ezithandwayo abanazo abantu abatshatileyo abanokuchitha ixesha kunye
- Yeyiphi ipesenti yengeniso yabo abangayichitha kwizinto abazithandayo
- Zingaphi iiyure ngeveki / ngenyanga abazakuchitha ngazo kwizinto abazithandayo
- Yintoni eya kuthi igqibe ukuba ngaba into oyithandayo ikubaxekile kwaye iphazamisana nezinye iinkalo zobomi
4. Isini
- Zingaphi iiveki kuthathwa njengobomi besondo obuphilileyo
- Zeziphi izinto ezamkelekileyo nezingamkelekanga ekuziphatheni ngokwesini kunye nakubantu ngabanye
- Ngaba ukutshata nomfazi omnye kunyanzelekile okanye mhlawumbi
- Ungawugcina njani umnqweno uphila kwaye uphephe ukuthatha omnye njengento engenamsebenzi (exo Ucoceko, ubunzima, isimilo, ukudinwa, njl.
5. Ukuchitha imali
- Ziya kwenziwa njani izigqibo ngemali? Ngaba omabini amaqela aya kuba nenxaxheba ngokulinganayo kuhlahlo-lwabiwo mali okanye ngaba kuya kubakho i-budgeter ekhethiweyo?
- Ungathini ukuba nayiphi na ipesenti yengeniso yenyanga eza kuchithwa kukunyanzelwa uthenga kuthelekiswa nokuthenga "Ndifuna"
- Esi sibini siya kuyichonga njani into engxamisekileyo xa kuthelekiswa nento engekhoyo engxamisekileyo?
6. Ngaba esi sibini sifuna abantwana
- Ukuba kunjalo zingaphi kwaye nini
- Ngubani oyakuba ngoyena mgcini wabantwana kwaye ukuba bobabini bayintoni, iza kwahlulwa njani imisebenzi eyahlukeneyo enjengokondla, ukucoca, ukuqeqesha, ukufundisa, iminyhadala, ukutyelela oogqirha, imihla yokudlala, njl.
- Ukuba kukho isigulo esingavumiyo ukuba isibini sibe nabantwana, yeyiphi inyathelo lesenzo ekuvunyelwene ngalo.
7. Ukuhamba
- Sisahlulo sini somvuzo esiza kuchongelwa uhambo
- Kuza kuhamba kangaphi ngonyaka
- Ngaba ukuhamba kuya kubandakanya zombini okanye inye kuphela yezi zibini?
- Zinyulwa njani iindawo zokufikela
8. Ukuba bucala
- Yintoni eyokwabelwana malunga nobomi babo kunye okanye umntu ngamnye
- Baza kuphethukela kubani ngamaxesha obunzima
9. Usapho kunye nesihlobo
- Bangakanani ixesha abaza kulichitha bodwa kunye / okanye kunye kunye nezihlobo ngenyanga okanye ngeveki
- Bazakwenza ntoni okanye bangazukwenzani nezihlobo
10. Ubomi beNtlalo
- Ngubani oceba ubusuku bobusuku
- Ngubani oceba imicimbi yoluntu kwesi sibini
- Lingakanani ixesha ngeveki umntu ngamnye alichitha ekuhlaleni kunye nabahlobo, inethiwekhi, uluntu lweshishini, njl.
- Yimalini esiza kuyisebenzisa esi sibini kwimicimbi yokuzihlaziya ngenyanga
- Ukufika emva kwexesha kuthathwa njengokufika emva kwexesha ukuhlala kwiindawo zethu zokuzonwabisa
11. Ngamaxesha engxabano
- Ugqiba njani xa ilixesha lokubuza umntu wesithathu
- Ngubani umcebisi (oqeqeshiweyo okanye hayi) isibini esinokuya kuye xa kufuneka njalo
- Ofanele ukwenze ngexesha lomsindo
- Unxibelelana njani kwaye uthini ukuze unqabe ukushiya umntu okanye imeko
Ewe kufanelekile ukuba kubekho into emangazayo emtshatweni. Ewe, kufanele kubekho ukuvuleka kwamava, kwaye ewe uthando luthetha ukwamkela. Kodwa awukwazi ukwamkela into ongayaziyo. Kwaye ayikokumkela kodwa endaweni yokunyanzela okanye ukuziva unyanzelwe ukuba ujongane nenyaniso hayi ngaphambili kodwa emva kokuba uthi "Ndiyayenza".