Ngamafutshane, impendulo ngu-iyenza. Okanye ngokuchanekileyo-inokuba njalo. Kodwa kunzima kakhulu kunonyango ngomntu omnye kuba kufanelekile, omabini amaqabane kufuneka akulungele ukutshintsha kwaye abe namandla okwenza oko. Indlela unyango oluza kusebenza ngayo kwisibini, kunye nakwabafazi ngokukodwa, iya kuxhomekeka kwizinto ezininzi, phakathi kwazo okubaluleke kakhulu kukuzinikela kwamaqabane kwinkqubo, uhlobo kunye nobunzulu bengxaki, inqanaba apho abathengi banxibelelana nonyango lwabo, kunye nokufaneleka ngokubanzi kwamaqabane kwindawo yokuqala. Nazi iinyani ezinomdla kwaye zibalulekile ekufuneka uzazi ngaphambi kokuba uqalise ngokubonisana nonyango lomtshato ngengxaki yakho, okanye xa sele usenza le nkqubo:
1. Usenokuba sele ugqibe ekubeni uza kuyivumela na le nyango ukunceda ukusindisa umtshato wakho.
Kwaye esi sigqibo ubukhulu becala asikho zingqondweni. Nokuba uyakholelwa na ukuba isiqingatha semitshato siphela kuqhawulo-mtshato (amanani-manani angeyonyani, njengakweli xesha lethu abantu abatshatayo benza njalo becinga ngononophelo kunye neenkolelo eziqinileyo kwiziko lomtshato), okanye isigqibo sakho esisondele ukuwuphelisa umtshato nangona ungaphandle ujonge ukuba uyayilwela izinyo kunye nesikhonkwane. Kwaye ukuqonda kwangaphambili, nokuba awuyazi ngokupheleleyo okanye ungabona umbono wayo, yeyona nto inefuthe elinokuthatha isigqibo sokuphumelela kwawo onke amayeza okukunceda ukuba ubuyisele umtshato wakho. Kuqhelekile ukuba esi sibini size kunyango lomtshato ubuncinci omnye wabalingane abebekelwe bucala kwimizamo yonyango, ukuze bafumane isiqinisekiso seenkolelo zabo ezinzulu malunga nokuba umtshato wabo uza kuguquka njani kwaye uphele. Lo ngumcimbi onzima kwaye ufuna ingqwalaselo ngononophelo kunyango lwasemtshatweni, kwaye wakube uzisiwe kumphezulu wolwazi, intsalela yenkqubo yonyango ilula ngokulula.
2. Ngokukhawuleza ukungena kunyango lomtshato ngamathuba amahle okuba asebenze
Iimbambano zomtshato zinomkhwa wokuhlala uhleli kwaye utshintshe ngaphaya kokuqwalaselwa. Isenokuba yaqala njengonxunguphalo olulula lwenye okanye zombini iimfuno zamaqabane, ingxaki yonxibelelwano enokusombululeka ngokulula, okanye ukungoneliseki okukodwa, kodwa ukushiya nayiphi na into enjalo kungakhange kujongwe kwiziphumo zokonyuka kokungoneliseki, ukwandisa ukudana, kunye nokungena kwimeko engapheliyo yokungonwabi okutsala kuphela iingxaki ezintsha nezikhulu. Abanye abanyangi bade bacebise, malunga naloo nto, ukuba abantu abatshatileyo baqale ngokucebisa ngaphambi komtshato ukuze bafundiswe ngeendlela zonxibelelwano olusempilweni kwaye bavakalise iimvakalelo zabo ngaphambi kokuba badibane neengxaki zomtshato eziqhelekileyo. Nangona kunjalo, kwabo sele betshatile kwaye sele benamava, kubalulekile ukuba ufune iingcebiso kunye noncedo lobuchwephesha ngokukhawuleza ukuba unyango lomtshato lube namathuba amakhulu okuphumelela.
3. Usenokuphela uqhawula umtshato nakanjani na - kodwa iyakuba yeyona iphilileyo kwaye ikhethwe ngokufanelekileyo.
Akukho namnye kubathengi bonyango lomtshato onethemba lokuba uza kubanceda bafumane uqhawulo-mtshato (hayi ngabom ubuncinci), kodwa balindele ukuba kunyangeke konke-konke ukukhathazeka. Bonke abaxumi kwiziluleko zezibini bakhona kuba bafuna ukuziva bhetele ngomtshato wabo. Nangona kunjalo, ngamanye amaxesha oku kuthetha ukuba baya kuqhawula umtshato. Ngamanye amaxesha amaqabane awanakulungeleka, ngamanye amaxesha iingxaki ziye zanzulu kangangokuba umahluko ungabi nakulungiswa. Kwezo meko, inkqubo yonyango emtshatweni iya kuba lithuba lokuphilisa ubudlelwane kunye nokuxhobisa abatshatileyo njengabantu ngabanye, kodwa ngesiphumo sokufikelela kokuncinci kunye nokupheliswa komtshato kangangoko kunokwenzeka. Ngamanye amaxesha, unyango lisebenza njengomqamelo oya kuthoba ukuwa obekungenakuphepheka kwindawo yokuqala.
Ukuqukumbela, akukho mpendulo kwindalo yesihloko. Ngokuqinisekileyo inokuyihlangula eminye imitshato.Kodwa abanye baqhawule umtshato ngcono, nokuba uxinzelelo luvela phi-njengokuhlala emtshatweni ngamanye amaxesha kuyingozi kakhulu. Ihlabathi ligcwele abantu abonwabileyo abaqhawula umtshato kunye nabo banemitshato egciniweyo kwaye yaphuculwa ngoncedo lwonyango olufanelekileyo. Esona sisombululo sibi kukuba esi sibini sihlale kwindawo yempixano engenampilo kunye nengxabano, enokuba namandla okuphazamisa ubomi babo bonke ababandakanyekayo.