Umxholo
Ngaba ungathanda ukwazi okungakumbi malunga nokuba shushu, ubushushu, ubushushu, isini sodwa kunye neqabane lakho?
Ndisebenze kunye nezibini iminyaka ngoku kwaye ndiye ndaqonda ukuba imiba yokusondelana yeyona mingeni mikhulu kubudlelwane. Ngaba wakha wazibuza ukuba kutheni kunjalo? Senzelwe ubudlelwane kunye nokusondelelana, kutheni le nto kunzima kangaka?
Uyakhumbula ukuba ukwibala lokudlala lesikolo xa wawusengumntwana kwaye usiva ingoma eculelwayo, "UJohn noSusie behleli emthini, bephuza"? Ukwabelana ngesondo kubonisiwe kwiinkalo ezininzi zobomi bethu kwaye sisipho esihle esivela kuThixo, kwimeko efanelekileyo.
Ndiza kuxoxa ngemiba emi-3 eqhelekileyo ebonakala ngathi iyayibulala imeko kwaye ndinike neengcebiso zokuvuselela umdla:
1. Ulindele ntoni?
Xa sibancinci kwaye sicinga ngomtshato, isini, usapho, njl.
Ke kwenzeka ntoni xa oko kulindelweyo kungafezekiswa? Ngokuqinisekileyo inokuqhuba umda kubudlelwane.
Yintoni iyeza lokuthintela ulindelo olungafezekiswanga? Lunxibelelwano. Oku kunokuba lula ukutsho kunokuba uyenze ngokwenyani.
Nanku umthambo wokuzama.
Ngokwahlukileyo, wena neqabane lakho nifumana iphepha nibhale phantsi ezona zinto nizifuna kwiqabane lakho. Yinike usuku okanye ezimbini kwaye ucwangcise ixesha lokuba ubuye kunye ukuze nixoxe ngoluhlu lwenu. Ndiyakukhuthaza ukuba urhwebe uluhlu kwaye ubone ukuba ubona nayiphi na into emangazayo. Ngoku, isilumkiso nje.
Ukuba zininzi iindawo kuluhlu lweqabane lakho ekungahlangatyezwana nazo okwangoku, ungatyhafi. Yiba nengxoxo evulekileyo nethembekileyo malunga nezinto ezi-1 okanye ezi-2 ezizezona ziphambili ngokubaluleka zotshintsho.
Utshintsho alwenzeki ngobusuku obunye. Kuthatha ukukhuthala kunye nomonde.
2. Uyandazi nokuba undazi?
Wazi kangakanani iqabane lakho, iingcinga zabo, iimfuno zabo, iimvakalelo zabo, amathemba abo kunye neminqweno yabo?
Nabani na onokwabelana ngesondo, kodwa oko kuyanelisa ngakumbi xa nisazana ngendlela esondeleyo, kwaye ubudlelwane bumanyeneyo.
Ukuba ubungene kwizangqa ezininzi zezibini, mhlawumbi uvile ngeelwimi ezintlanu zothando zikaGqirha Gary Chapman. Ngendlela, oku kufundwa kakhulu, ukuba awuqhelani nayo.
Uthando ligama lesenzo.
Sele sithethile ngonxibelelwano, kodwa ngoku lixesha lokuba silwenze. Iilwimi ezintlanu zothando ezithi zivezwe nguChapman zezi: Amagama esiQinisekiso, ixesha loMgangatho, ukuNika kunye nokuFumana izipho, iZenzo zeNkonzo, kunye nokuPhathwa koMzimba (hayi ngokwesondo). Ndiyakukhuthaza ukuba unxibelelane ngokunyanisekileyo neqabane lakho malunga nokuba zeziphi ezona zinto zinxibelelana kakhulu nothando, imbeko kunye nokucingela.
Kwakhona, thatha ixesha lokukhangela iqabane lakho kwiimfuno zakho. Emva koko, yenze loo nto. Umfazi wam, umama ohlala ekhaya ofundela ekhaya, ezinye zezona zinto zimnandi endinokumenzela zona, kukuhlamba izitya, ukuphosa umthwalo wempahla kumatshini wokuhlamba iimpahla, nokwenza isidlo sosapho ukuze afumane ikhefu.
Ukuthandaza naye kunye nokukhokelela kusapho lwethu ngokomoya yinto entle enkulu. Ndiyakuthembisa ukuba iimvakalelo zothando kunye nomnqweno omnye komnye ziya kukhula xa nisebenza kwaye nihlala nibonisa uthando kwiqabane lakho kulwimi lwabo kude kube ngaphambi kokuba ufike kwigumbi lokulala.
Ukusondelelana malunga notyalomali lwakho lwexesha, ukucinga, kunye nezixhobo kwiqabane lakho. Ukwabelana ngesondo kakhulu yinxalenye yomdla owufumanayo ngenxa yotyalo-mali lwakho.
3. Ezothando? Loluphi uthando?
Izibini ezininzi endikhe ndasebenza nazo zinoluvo ezingqondweni zazo, “Ewe, sele ndinalo iqabane lam. Akukho sidingo sokwenza amadinga ngoku. ” Enye ingcinga ndihlala ndisiva yile, "Singathandana nini xa sinazo zonke ezi _______?" Unokugcwalisa okungenanto nangaliphi na inani lezinto, uxanduva, abantwana, ityala.
Kungenxa yokuba nina nobabini ngoku akuthethi ukuba ukuthandana kufuneka kuphelile.
Wena neqabane lakho nihlala nikhula, nikhula, kwaye nitshintsha. Ukuthandana malunga nexesha lokuphinda uqhagamshele xa ubomi buxakekile kwaye uhlale uqhagamshele endleleni. Imalunga nokubekela bucala ixesha lokujolisa kwinto enye ngaphandle komnye. Ngoku, imihla ithetha izinto ezahlukeneyo kwizibini ezahlukeneyo.
Kum, andiqwalaseli ukuya kwivenkile yokutyela enabantwana abathathu kwi-tow ukuze ndifumane ukutya okunesondlo ngomhla. Umfazi wam kunye nam siyavuma ukuba ukucwangcisa kuyinxalenye yento eyenza umhla.
Okokugqibela, khumbula ukuba kugxilwe kubo
Kwakhona, khumbula ukuba kugxilwe kwenye nenye, kungoko kungamenywa bantwana. Izimali ngamanye amaxesha zinokuba zintle kakhulu, kodwa imihla akufuneki ibize. Yenza ubuchule kunye neqabane lakho. Yenza uluhlu lwezinto ezinomdla kwiqabane lakho kwaye zithini umhla wazo. Emva koko, ungaqala ukucwangcisa.
Nika ezi ngcebiso!