Umxholo
- Umceli mngeni wokufumana amava ezinto ezityebileyo emtshatweni
- Ukukhukulana-owona mbandela ubalulekileyo ekusebenzisaneni ixesha elide namhlanje
- Ubomi benyama yiglue yomlingo esigcina sisondele
- Ukuphumeza ubuchule obuzimeleyo ukuphucula ukwaneliseka
- Bekela bucala ixesha lokuhamba ze
- Hlaziya ngokukhawuleza
- Bonakalisa uthando
- Jonga ngakumbi
- Ukwakha isiseko esiluqilima sothando ekuhambeni kwexesha
Ukuba sifuna ukuthanda okwanelisa ngokwenyani, ukutshata nomntu ongatshatanga naye nokuba uyathandana emtshatweni wethu, sifika njani emhlabeni?
Ubomi bethu buxakekile kwaye bucinezelwe yiyo yonke imisebenzi noxanduva lomtshato nobomi bosapho; ubomi bethu bomsebenzi bunzima, kwaye sineemfuno zokuphumla kunye nokuzilolonga umzimba, ikhaya elifuna ukugcinwa, kunye nokunqwenela uhlobo oluthile lobuchule kunye nokuphumla. Singanabazali abalupheleyo abafuna ukuhoywa kwethu okanye umntwana osokolayo esikolweni, okanye uphahla oluvuzayo-kwaye konke kufuneka kujongwane nako.
Umceli mngeni wokufumana amava ezinto ezityebileyo emtshatweni
Ke sizigcina njani iintloko zethu kunye nemizimba yethu kwisini sethu kunye nokusondelelana neqabane lethu kuyo yonke loo nto? Siwafumana njani amava okuba mnandi kwaye atyebise inkanuko kulwalamano lwethu kwaye sakhe ulwazelelo rhoqo kwiiveki zethu kunye?
Ndikhumbula ndikwigumbi lokutshixa nabahlobo bam kwiminyaka eyadlulayo, kwaye sasisithi, "Bendingasokuze ndihlale kubudlelwane ukuba besingabelani ngesondo okungenani kathathu okanye kane ngeveki." Ngoku abo bahlobo bathandanayo bavuma ngokuzolileyo ukuba bebengathandani namaqabane abo kwiinyanga. Kanjani?
Ayikuko ukuba asiwathandi amaqabane ethu. Kungenxa yokuba ubomi babantu abadala busikhupha emadolweni, kwaye ukugxila kwethu kwezesondo kunye nokusondelelana kusenziwa ngumsebenzi noxanduva.
Ukukhukulana-owona mbandela ubalulekileyo ekusebenzisaneni ixesha elide namhlanje
Ndiyakholelwa ukuba owona mba wethu mkhulu ekusebenzisaneni ixesha elide namhlanje yile ndiyibizayo ukukhukuliseka. Siyazi ukuba siyathandana, asikho kwinqanaba lokuphuka, asikhohlisi okanye siyonakalisa omnye komnye, kodwa asinako uluve uthando lwethu. Kutheni le nto singeva?
Asinakuluva uthando lwethu kuba asizibandakanyi nalo. Asizibandakanyi kulonwabo kunye nothando olwakha ukuhlangana kunye, okanye uthando olunceda ekwakheni umnqweno, okanye isini esithe ngqo kunye nokuhamba ze-in-the-sheet ixesha lokusondelana elisivulayo kwaye lisivumele singene kunye. Asilulo, njengoluntu, sizinikela kwizinto zomtshato okanye zentsebenziswano ezixhasa ukusondelelana, kwaye ke siba lixhoba lento endiyibiza ngokuba "igumbi lokuhlala," okanye "ukufa komandlalo womtshato."
Kwaye asiyifuni loo nto. Xa ubudlelwane bethu buthwaxwa kukukhukuliseka, siziva sikude-ukusuka kumnqweno wethu, kuthando lwethu, kunye nokunxibelelana kwenyama nokuzimisela kwethu.
Ubomi benyama yiglue yomlingo esigcina sisondele
Ubomi bethu benyama yiglue yomlingo esigcina sisondele; ibarometer yendlela esenza ngayo omnye komnye. Ke sinokulwa njani ukukhukuliseka, kwaye sifike kuthando esazi ukuba sinalo?
Nantsi indlela: Kuya kufuneka siziqhelanise nothando. Sonke siyazi ukuba ukuba sifuna ukuzilolonga okanye ukufunda ukupheka okanye ukufunda ubuchule-ukuthetha isiFrentshi, ukwenza i-yoga, ukudlala isiginkci-oko kuya kuba bhetele ngokuziqhelanisa. Kunye ixesha-ngaphakathi. Kwaye yile nto silandela uthando. Ukuziqhelanisa nayo, ke ngoko siziva uthando lwethu kunokuba sithethe ngalo.
Ukuphumeza ubuchule obuzimeleyo ukuphucula ukwaneliseka
Ngokwenyani, sifika njani kuthando esithi siyalufuna? Nantsi indlela: sizifumanela iseti elula Uhamba ze amacebo. Izenzo ezimfutshane nezithandekayo ezisenza sibe nolwalamano ngokukhawuleza nangokulula. Kwincwadi yam entsha, Umtshato oze, Ndinika ezi ngcebiso:
Ukwenza ubudlelwane bethu bube sexier, busempilweni kwaye busondele ngakumbi, kufuneka:
- "Umhla oze ze" ngeveki kunye neyure engaphazanyiswanga okanye ezimbini zokuba sisondelelene kunye nokwabelana ngesondo omnye komnye.
- Ukwabelana ngesondo kuzinze ngokuzaliseka kokubambisana, ke sifuna ukubuyela ngaphezulu.
- Izikhokelo zothando ezisinceda ukuba sigcine inkanuko yethu, naxa sixakekile.
- Izicwangciso ezilula-emphefumlweni zokujonga ngaphakathi komnye nomnye
- Cacisa izicwangciso zemali yethu, ukuba ngumzali kunye nokukhetha indlela yokuphila ukuze uxinzelelo lwezezimali kunye nosapho lungathinteli indlela yethu eya kwigumbi lokulala
Makhe sithethe ngolokuqala kwezi ngcebiso
Bekela bucala ixesha lokuhamba ze
Yintoni umhla ohamba ze? Yile nto ivakala ngathi: lixesha olibekela bucala, veki nganye-veki nganye- ukuba nihambe ze nibe kunye. Ngaba kufuneka ibe ngokwesondo ngalo lonke ixesha? Hayi, akuyomfuneko oko. Izibini ezininzi ziya kufumanisa ukuba isenzo sokuhamba ze omnye komnye sihlala sivelisa amava ezesondo. Oko sikulandelayo-ngokwesondo okanye ngokwenyama-sisenzo sokusondelelana omnye nomnye-uhamba ze, kwaye uvulekile, kwaye ukulungele ukusondela omnye komnye rhoqo.
Ndiyazi, ndiyazi. Ucinga, “Hee! Umnqweno wam awuvuli kwaye ucime ngexesha elimiselweyo. Iyahluka! ” Kwaye kufanelekile ngokwaneleyo. Kodwa into esiyilandelayo kuthando lwexesha elide yi qaphela ngothando olusiphuphuma kukungoneliseki-ekulindeni nasekubukeni kwethu, ukuphepha kunye nedada ukujonga ukuba iqabane lethu "likwimimoya" -kanti endaweni yoko, lisinika qaphela ukubonisa uthando. Sifuna ukwakha kwimizimba yethu kunye neengqondo zethu iPavlovian yolwalamano olusondeleyo ukuze sifike kuthando esifuna ukuba silufune.
Ekukhankanyweni kokuqala komhla ohamba ze, uninzi lwabantu luya kuthi, "Heyi, umnqweno wam awunakubonakala kwinqanaba, ngexesha elimisiweyo!" Kwaye ndithi, ewe iyakwazi. Kwaye, enyanisweni, thina ndifuna ukuya ku. Ukuseta i-cued, ixesha eliqhelekileyo lothando kunye nokwabelana ngesondo sisixhobo sokukhukhula. Sifuna ukuba imizimba neentliziyo zethu zivuke ngeyure ethile, sibeke ecaleni izinto ezicinezelayo zehlabathi, kwaye ze, ze ecaleni komnye nomnye.
Ukwenza lo msebenzi, kufuneka siqwalasele inkqubo enye yokucinga ebesinayo ukusukela kwiminyaka yethu yokuthandana: sikholelwa ukuba isondo kufuneka libe yinto eyenzekileyo-yokuba kufuneka sibaleke emasimini engqolowa sijongane sinqwenelene ngokugqibeleleyo, sikrazula ezinye iimpahla zikhutshiwe.
Hlaziya ngokukhawuleza
Kodwa umtshato kunye nobudlelwane bexesha elide azizizo izilwanyana ezizenzekelayo. Ubomi babantu abadala buhlutha ukuzenzekela kuthi: kokukhona sinoxanduva loluntu kunye nosapho njengesiqabane, kokukhona siya kuthambekela ekuchongeni ezo ndima. Ke kufuneka silwe naloo nto ngokuzamkela ngokwethu ukuba ubudlelwane bexesha elide abukho ngokuzenzekelayo. Emva koko, singayisebenzisa loo nyani ukuzakhela isicwangciso esizisa imizimba neentliziyo zethu kwisini nakubomi obusondeleyo.
Usebenza njani umhla ohamba ze, kwihlabathi lokwenyani? Kulula: ubeka ixesha, veki nganye, xa usazi ukuba awuyi kuphazanyiswa. NgoLwesine ngokuhlwa ngentsimbi yesithandathu, ngentsasa yangoMgqibelo ngentsimbi yesibhozo, emva kwemini ngeCawa ngentsimbi yesine. Ukuba abantwana bakho bahlala benamapati okuzalwa okanye imicimbi yezemidlalo ngentsasa yangoMgqibelo, ayiloxesha lakho elo. Ukuba unesidlo sangokuhlwa sosapho qho ngenyanga ngeeCawa ezintlanu, ayiloxesha lakho elo. Ufuna ukwazi ukuhlonipha ixesha elibekiweyo veki nganye.
Bonakalisa uthando
Kanjani? Kuba xa sibonisa uthando, veki nganye, veki nganye sigqithisa imiba malunga nokuba iqabane lethu liyasifuna okanye sele likhona. Xa sibonisa veki nganye, iqabane lethu liqala ukuphumla nathi, kwaye sobabini siqala ukukhululeka malunga nini ngesondo. Siyazi nokuba yeyiphi enye into eyehla evekini, siya kufika kwixesha lethu elizaliswe luthando, kwaye oko kusenza sizive sisondele kwaye sithembane ngakumbi.
Iyakha kwakhona ubuqili. Sithetha ntoni ngobungangamsha? Ukuba nexesha rhoqo-kubomi bethu bezesondo kuthetha ukuba singcono kuyo. Siya sikhululeka ngakumbi. Sineqonga lokuphanda kunye nokufumanisa.
Jonga ngakumbi
Into endiyifumene kumtshato wam yile: ekuqaleni, umyeni wam wayeza kundirhuqela ngaphandle kwi-burger joint, emva koko athi "wayegcwele kakhulu" ngokufika kwethu ekhaya. Emva kwenyanga ezimbini saqala ukuyifumana (ukusilela kuyinxalenye yenkqubo yokufunda), emva koko ayokuma phezu kwam ngo-5: 45 emva kwemini ngomhla wethu-ixesha lethu yayingu-6: 00- athi, " Hon, phantse zintandathu. Lixesha!" ndaye ndahleka ndahamba ndayokulungisa. Kuthathe ezo nyanga zimbini ukucinezela ngokuchasene nenkcaso yethu kwaye senze into iqhubeke.
Ekuqaleni, sasisebenzisa zonke izinto esasizazi ukonwabisa ebhedini-ngamanye amagama, sasifumana isiseko sokwakha ulonwabo. Ixesha elingaphezulu, saqala ukuphonononga ngakumbi. Umhla omiselweyo wawuthetha ukuba siyazi ukuba sonke siza kubonisana, kwaye akufunekanga siqashele ukuba siyafunana. Nokuba ibiyiveki enzima, besinokuwela ezingalweni zomnye kwaye siyazi ukuba ukuzibophelela kwethu ekuboniseni ubukrelekrele kuya kusithwala ngaphezulu kokuwa.
Emva koko, imilingo yokwenene yaqala. Saqala ukudlala. Sazikhulula kunye. Sasithemba uthando lomnye komnye. Saye saziva sithandana nabanye kuba yile nto sasinayo. Ukuziqhelanisa kwethu nokusondelelana kwasenza sakhululeka kwaye ngamanye amaxesha sasisiba sasendle.
Ngaba zikhona iintsuku apho singekho kwimeko yaso? Ngokuqinisekileyo. Kodwa obo bubuhle bokuba neqabane elinobuchule kwimizimba yethu. Unako okanye xa enomdla wokubonisa-asithwale xa sifuna ukuthwala; kwaye sinokwenza okufanayo kuye.
Ukwakha isiseko esiluqilima sothando ekuhambeni kwexesha
Nje ukuba sibe nomgaqo we Uhamba ze umxholo-ubonakalisa, ngamaxeshana amafutshane kwaye amnandi kulwalamano lwethu-sinokuwusebenzisa lo mxholo kwezinye iindawo zobudlelwane bethu ezixhasa ukusondela kwethu: uthando, ulonwabo, ukujonga kunye, ukudala isivumelwano malunga nendlela yethu yokuphila kwigumbi lethu lokulala lihlala licacile kwaye alivulelwanga.
Le yimigaqo esinika isiseko esiluqilima sothando ngokuhamba kwexesha. Yimiqadi esinokuthi sakhe kuyo thanda ngonaphakade. Kwaye loo nto-kuthi sonke esisebenzisanayo-ixabisa ubunzima bayo kwigolide.