Umxholo
- Luyintoni uxolelo?
- Ulwalamano olusempilweni lolunye olunendawo yoxolelo
- Ngaba ukuxolela kuthetha ukulibala?
"Ndiyakuxolela." Libinzana elifundiswayo ukususela ebusheni kodwa ingqiqo esingayiqondiyo ngokupheleleyo de kube sebudaleni. Yile nto siyicwangcisiweyo kuphuhliso lwentlalo yethu ukuze siphendule ukuxolisa. Kodwa kuthetha ntoni ukuxolela, kwaye itshintsha njani xa siyinxalenye yobudlelwane?
Luyintoni uxolelo?
Uxolelo yinkqubo yokuzithandela apho umntu akulungeleyo ukuyeka ukwenzakala okanye iimvakalelo ezingalunganga kunye nezimo zengqondo ezinxulumene nokona umntu athe wakwenza kuye. Luxolelwaniso phakathi kwabantu ababini olubavumela ukuba babuyele kwimeko yokuzola nokusebenzisana nabanye.
Kodwa ukuxolela akusoloko kulula njengoko kuvakala. Kwintsebenziswano, isenzo esikhubekisayo sinokubangela umonakalo omkhulu kwaye ngamanye amaxesha osisigxina. Isibini singayisebenzisa njani inkqubo yoxolelo njengendlela yokukhuthaza kunye nokukhuthaza unxibelelwano olungcono nolunemveliso ngakumbi?
Ulwalamano olusempilweni lolunye olunendawo yoxolelo
Okokuqala, kufuneka kubekho ukuqonda kwexabiso lokuxolela. Ubudlelwane obuphilileyo abunakubakho ngaphandle kokuvuma ukwamkela uxolo lomnye umntu. Ukuba uxolelo aluvunyelwa, intlungu nomsindo azisombululeki. Ukungabikho kwesisombululo kunokukhokelela kubukrakra kwaye kunokuthintela ukukhula kunye notshintsho. Okwesibini, kufuneka kubekho ukuqhelana nendlela yeqabane lakho yokunxibelelana noxolo. Njengothando nothando, zintlanu ezahlukileyo “iilwimi zokuxolisa” ezinokusetyenziswa liqabane ukunika isicelo soxolelo. Ngelixa ulwimi ngalunye luhlukile, nganye ineenjongo ezifanayo eziphambili-ukunika uphawu loxolo kunye nokuzisola njengohlobo lwesisombululo. Masiqwalasele ngakumbi ...
1. Ukuvakalisa ukuzisola
Umntu osebenzisa olu lwimi unokuvuma ngomlomo isenzo esingalunganga kunye nomnqweno wokuthatha isenzo esibuhlungu. Luphawu lomlomo lokuzisola kunye nomnqweno wokurhoxisa okwenziweyo okanye okutshiwo okunobungozi komnye umntu kubudlelwane. Umntu oxolisa esebenzisa olu lwimi kunokwenzeka ukuba asebenzise amagama athi “Ndiyaxolisa” ukubonisa ukuvuma kwakhe ityala.
2. Ukwamkela uxanduva
Umntu osebenzisa le ndlela yoxolelwaniso uya kuthi asebenzise iingxelo zomlomo ukuze abelane nexhoba ukuba bayayiqonda ukuba ukwenzakala kunxibelelene ngqo nezenzo zabo. Bayalivuma kwaye balamkele ityala ngokuthatha uxanduva lwento abayithethileyo okanye izenzo zabo komnye umntu okanye kubudlelwane. Umntu osebenzisa olu lwimi uzimisele ngakumbi ukuthi “bendiphosakele” kunabo basebenzisa ezinye iindlela zokuxolisa.
3. Ukwenza imbuyekezo
La maqabane mancinci amathuba okuba axolise ngamazwi; ngesiqhelo, abo bacela uxolo ngale ndlela bayakwenza yenza into yokwenza isiphoso. Banokulungisa eyona nto iphosakeleyo, okanye ukuba olo khetho alufumaneki, banokuya ngaphezulu nangaphaya ngokwenza enye into enentsingiselo. Ithemba kukuba ngeli nyathelo, iqabane elonzakeleyo liya kubona umnqweno womnye umntu ukubonisa uthando, uthando nokuzisola.
4. Ukuguquka ngokwenene
Ukuguquka ngokwenyani sisenzo sokuxolisa nokuthatha amanyathelo asebenzayo ukutshintsha indlela abathetha ngayo nabenza ngayo ukulungisa umonakalo owenziweyo nokukhusela omnye umonakalo. Kufuneka ibe ngumzamo oqinisekileyo wokuzibandakanya kunye nokwenza isicwangciso sokutshintsha indlela yokuziphatha ebangele ukwenzakala kwasekuqaleni. Umntu oxolisa kule fomu usenokungaphumeleli isihlandlo esinye okanye ezibini ngaphambi kokuba abambelele kwisicwangciso kwaye atshintshe indlela abathetha ngayo nabenza ngayo izinto. Kodwa ekugqibeleni, kukho ukuzimisela ukungqina kulowo umthandayo ukuba kukho ukuzisola okwenyani kunye nomnqweno wokwenza izinto ngokwahlukileyo.
5. Ukucela ukuxolelwa
Ngelixa ukuxolisa okanye ukwenza into ukubuyisela into eyenziwe kakubi kunokubonisa ukuzisola nokuzisola, isenokungonelanga. Ngamanye amaxesha, nguYehova ngokuva la mazwi, “Uyakundixolela?” ukuba iqabane liyakuqonda ukuzisola kunye nosizi umntu aluvayo ngokwenzakalisa umntu amthandayo. Ayikuko ukuvuma ityala kuphela kunye nomnqweno wokutshintsha okwenziweyo, kodwa kukwamkelwa kweemvakalelo zeqabane kunye nokunqwenela ukubeka loo mntu ngaphezulu kwakhe nabani na okanye enye into.
Ngaba ukuxolela kuthetha ukulibala?
Kodwa - ukuxolela iqabane lakho kuyafana nokulibala okwenzekileyo? Ngokucacileyo, impendulo nguhayi.Ungumntu; iimvakalelo zakho ziya konakaliswa kwaye namandla akho okuthemba nokuthembela komnye umntu aya kuvavanywa. Akukho lula kangako libala into eyenziwe kuwe. Xa wawa kwibhayisikile yakho njengomntwana kwaye wakhuhla amadolo akho, ngokuqinisekileyo uyayikhumbula intlungu. Usenokuba nemivumbo yokukhumbuza amava. Awunayo ulibale waziva njani la maxesha, kodwa awulahli ibhayisekile okanye ungaze uphinde ukhwele. Ufunda kwiintlungu, iinkumbulo, amanxeba - awuvumeli iimpazamo zexesha elidlulileyo zithintele ukukhula kwixesha langoku nakwilixa elizayo. Ngokukwanjalo, ukuxolela iqabane lakho okanye iqabane lakho akuthethi ukuba uyilibele intlungu, ukuthotywa, ukwenzakala, okanye iintloni. Kuthetha ukuba ukulungele ukubeka emngciphekweni umntu okulimazayo kwakhona ukuze wenze indawo yokuphilisa.
Ukuba ukulungele ukuxolela, oko kuthetha ukuba isenzo asivumelekanga ukuba sisetyenziswe njengeembumbulu. Kodwa oko akuthethi ukuba uyakulibala. Endaweni yokuba ufunda ngakumbi malunga nawe kunye neqabane lakho ngaphakathi kwamava.