Umxholo
- 1. Sukubangela ukuba ungazithembi
- 2. Thetha neqabane lakho malunga nokungaqiniseki kwakho
- 3. Yenza umkhwa wokujonga izinto zakho ezintle mihla le okanye rhoqo ubuncinci
- 4. Ziqhelise ukuba nemfesane kunye nokwakha ukuzithemba
- 5. Sebenzela kubuthathaka bakho uze ubamkele
- 6. Musa ukuba sisiyolo sabantu
Ukungazithembi kubudlelwane - Imvakalelo esele siziva ngayo ebomini bethu ngenye indlela kwinqanaba okanye nangaphezulu.
Ukusuka ekuthandabuzeni kwakho ukuya kumona kunye nentiyo egcina ubusuku, siyathemba ukuba uyavumelana nathi xa sisithi ukuziva ungakhuselekanga kuyeyona nto iphambili kuzo zonke, akunjalo?
Kodwa kwabanye abantu, ukungazithembi kubudlelwane kungumcimbi nje weentsuku okanye imizuzu embalwa. Abantu abanjalo baziva bexhalabile ngalo lonke ixesha kubudlelwane babo, kwaye nangona kuyinto eqhelekileyo, ukuziva ukungazithembi kunokuba yityhefu kubudlelwane bakho.
Ke, kubalulekile ukuba ujonge amaxesha apho uziva ungakhuselekanga kwaye usebenze kuwo ukusukela ekuqaleni. Ukukunceda wenze oko, apha ngezantsi zindlela ezintandathu zokuyeka ukungaqiniseki kubudlelwane.
1. Sukubangela ukuba ungazithembi
Ukuba awuzithembi kubudlelwane, inyathelo eliphambili lokujongana nokungazithembi kukuyeka ukuzibophelela.
Ngamanye amaxesha, uyazithemba kangangokuba uqala ukuzibamba uxanduva lwayo yonke into engahambi kakuhle malunga nawe. Kwaye, ukusabela kwayo kwityathanga ekutyhalela ezantsi kwi-quagmire yokungazithembi kunye noxinzelelo.
Ukuzazisa ngokwakho kulungile. Kodwa, qiniseka ukuba ayisiyiyo into yokuthambekela kwakho eqhubela phambili inyusa ukungaqiniseki kobudlelwane bakho.
Zama ukuqiqa ngendlela efanelekileyo. Ayizizo zonke izinto ezimbi ezenzekayo ngenxa yakho. Funa uncedo lobuchwephesha okanye ufunde iincwadi zokuzinceda ukukunceda ulungelelanise iingcinga zakho kwaye ulahle ukungazithembi.
2. Thetha neqabane lakho malunga nokungaqiniseki kwakho
Enye yeendlela ezilungileyo zokoyisa ukunganqabiseki kubudlelwane kukuthetha ngazo kwiqabane lakho.
Thetha nabo, ubaxelele ukuba yintoni na ekwenza uzive ungakhuselekanga.
Umzekelo, ngaba banobuhlobo kakhulu kwintombazana ethile okanye inkwenkwe ngaphandle kwakho? Baxelele kwaye unxibelelane nabo malunga nayo. Oku kubalulekile njengoko ngamanye amaxesha sidinga ukuzithemba ukukhulisa ukuzithemba kwethu kuthi.
Nangona kunjalo, into ebalulekileyo apha kukuba uxelele iqabane lakho malunga nalo ngokuzolileyo endaweni yokubangxolisa kuba ayilotyala labo kananjalo.
Ke, qiniseka ukuba uyathetha kunye neqabane lakho, kwaye endaweni yokubenza babandezeleke, zama ukulandela isisombululo kunye.
3. Yenza umkhwa wokujonga izinto zakho ezintle mihla le okanye rhoqo ubuncinci
Yintoni ebangela ukungazithembi kubudlelwane?
Ukuba uziva unganqabisekanga kubudlelwane, zibuze-ngaba uhlala uziva ungathandwa?
Oku akunakuba njalo ngokwenyani, kodwa ungazinyanzela ezi ngcinga zimbi kuwe. Unokuba uzilinganisela iimpazamo zakho ngaphaya, ekubangela ukuba uzive uphantsi ngesiqu sakho.
Ayisiyonto ifihlakeleyo ukuba ukungakhuseleki kuvela kwizinto esingenazo kwaye kujikeleze ukungalunganga okanye iimpazamo zethu. Oku kungazithembi kuqala ukusenza siziva singaxabisekanga ngokupheleleyo xa kugxilwe kuthi kuphela kwiziphene zethu ngelo xesha.
Ke, kubalulekile ukuba ujonge izinto zakho ezilungileyo ngalo lonke ixesha uziva unganqabisekanga malunga nokubaleka le mvakalelo.
Ngapha koko, yenze umkhwa. Zikhumbuze ngokubaluleka kwakho kunye nexabiso olithweleyo kwaye wonwabe ukuba ungubani.
Nangona kunjalo, qiniseka ukuba oku akukutsaleli ekubeni ube nekratshi kwaye kude nokuthobeka, nolunye uphawu oluyityhefu olunokukwenzakalisa wena kunye nolunye ubudlelwane bakho.
4. Ziqhelise ukuba nemfesane kunye nokwakha ukuzithemba
Abantu abangaqinisekanga kubudlelwane bathambekele ekubeni nokuzithemba. Kwaye icacisa kakhulu ukuba xa siziva singonelisekanga ngaphakathi, nokuba sifuna ukuqinisekiswa ngaphandle akuncedi kangako.
Ke, kubalulekile ukuba ziqhelise ukuzenzela imfesane kunye nokwakha ukuzithemba okuzinzileyo. Oku kubangela ukoneliseka malunga nokuba ungubani na kwaye kukuvumela ukuba uzithande.
Lo mfanekiso mkhulu usika oyena nobangela wokungaqiniseki kwakho kubudlelwane, ukukunceda ufezekise uxolo olukufaneleyo!
Oku kulandelayo kunika ingcebiso ebalulekileyo ekuyekeni ukungazithembi kubudlelwane.
5. Sebenzela kubuthathaka bakho uze ubamkele
Ukuyeka ukungazithembi kubudlelwane, kubalulekile ukuba uyamkele into yokuba akekho umntu owakhe wagqibelela.
Sonke sinezinto zethu ezintle nezineziphene, kwaye kufanelekile ukuba sibe neziphene. Ziyinxalenye yesazisi sakho.
Ke, ungumnini kwaye khumbula ukuba iziphene zakho ayisiyiyo kuphela inxalenye yakho. Yenza isimilo esifanelekileyo kuwe nakwabanye ngokunjalo.
Kwaye ukongeza, sebenzela kwiimpazamo zakho ukuba zinokulungiswa.
6. Musa ukuba sisiyolo sabantu
Ukuze ufumane ukungaqiniseki emtshatweni wakho, ungaqondanga unokwenza umkhwa wokukholisa iqabane lakho ngaphandle kwesizathu. Unokuyekelela kunyawo olungalunganga, uzimeme ngakumbi iingxaki.
Khumbula ukuba ngokukhohlisa kwaye uzama ukukholisa iqabane lakho okanye amanye amalungu osapho okanye abahlobo, awunako ukuphelisa ukungazithembi. Ngapha koko, abanye abantu abazingcayo banokusebenzisa lo mkhwa.
Ke, ungakugqitha njani ukungazithembi kule meko?
Kuya kufuneka uziqhelanise nothando lwakho ukuba ufuna ukuyeka ukungazithembi kubudlelwane. Awunakulindela ukuba abanye bakuthande ukuba awuzithandi ngale ndlela uyiyo.
Kwaye, kule nkqubo, ukuba kunokwenzeka ukuba ucaphukise umntu okujikelezile, myeke! Akunyanzelekanga ukuba ugcine wonke umntu onwabile. Ukuba abantu bayazichaza gwenxa izenzo zakho, ungazama ukuzichaza ngendlela echubekileyo, kodwa ngokubamba intloko iphakame.
Ukuba usazifumana ukhazimla malunga nendlela yokujongana nemicimbi yokuthembana kunye nokungaqiniseki kubudlelwane, kuya kufuneka ufune uncedo lobuchwephesha.
Ukungazithembi kubudlelwane akuyongozi nje ulwalamano lwakho, kodwa kukwakho nempilo yakho yengqondo kunye nokuba sempilweni ngokweemvakalelo.
Umcebisi oqeqeshiweyo okanye ugqirha unokukunceda ukuba uqonde ezona ngxaki zikhokelela kukungazithembi kunye neminye imiba yokuziphatha. Bu besebenzisa indlela ecwangcisiweyo, banokukuxhobisa ukuba uchonge iinkxalabo zakho kwaye uziphendule ngokufanelekileyo.