Umxholo
- Inkolo kunye nomnqweno wobukrelekrele zinokuqhuba umtshato phakathi kwesibini esithandanayo
- Ukufumana ingqeshiso entsha yobomi
- Ukuxhamla kwingxwabangxwaba eyadlulayo
Kwiminyaka engamashumi amane anesihlanu eyadlulayo, ngoMeyi odlulileyo, ndathi: "Ndiyayenza". Kwiminyaka yokuqala yamashumi amathandathu, njengomntwana woqhawulo mtshato, ndaye ndafunga xa nditshata ukuba kuya kuhlala ngonaphakade. Ngo-1973 mna nomyeni wam sashiya iPhiladelphia saya eConnecticut sathenga ishishini elincinci. Ndabhalisa kwiKholeji yaseConnecticut ngokungesosigxina ukugqiba isidanga sam se-bachelor.
Umyeni wam wayenamabhongo kwaye kungekudala, sakwazi ukuphuma ematyaleni, sinekhaya kwaye saba kwinqanaba eliphakathi.
Sobabini sikhule sihlupheka, sisebenza imisebenzi engaqhelekanga emva kokuphuma kwesikolo, sixakekile sinceda iintsapho zethu ngezinto ezisisiseko. Ngobutyebi kwafika inkululeko engakumbi yokukhetha ngokuthe ngqo, ukuba ndifuna ukuba ngubani, ngoku ekubeni ubomi bethu babungenaxinezeleko lwezezimali.
Ingqwalaselo yam ephambili yayisukile ekufuneni abantwana kunye nosapho ukuya kufundo lwePsychology, ukufunda oko kwenza abantu baphawule.
Umyeni wam waqala ukusondela elukholweni, enombulelo ngentuthuzelo yethu yezinto eziphathekayo, ngoku wayefuna ukomeleza ubomi bakhe bokomoya. Akuzange kube kudala ngaphambi kokuba unyango lwezibini lube yindlela yethu yokujongana nale folokhwe endleleni ngaphandle kokugxekwa.
Njengomzukulwana wabasindileyo ekuBulaweni Ngenkohlakalo, ubuKristu babungeyondlela endinokuyithatha.
Ukuzinikela komyeni wam kwiimfundiso zikaYesu yayiyinyani eyayicel 'umngeni inkolelo yam yokuba' de kube sekufeni ngenxa yethu. Yaba umtshato ngoxolo.
Inkolo kunye nomnqweno wobukrelekrele zinokuqhuba umtshato phakathi kwesibini esithandanayo
Ngubani obengacinga ukuba inkolo kunye nomnqweno wokuqonda unokuqhuba umda phakathi kwabantu abathandanayo? Leliphi iphephancwadi labasetyhini elingakuxeleli iimpahla zangaphantsi ezithandekayo kunye nendlela engcono ebhedini enokulungisa nawuphi na umtshato?
Ndemka ndayokugqibezela isikolo nemali evela kumtshato woqhawulo-mtshato ndaza ndabuyela ePhiladelphia ndenza i-MSW, endayigqiba kwiminyaka yoo-80. Ndithandana manqaphanqapha njengoko indlela yam yomsebenzi yaqala ukugxila. Kwakungokhetho oluncinci kunye nokuthandana kwi-intanethi kwakungeyonto iyiyo. Kungakhathaliseki ukuba mangaphi amaxesha angaboniyo ndizamile okanye ukwaziswa ngabahlobo andinakukucinga ukuba ndibuyela kwisiqhelo sokuhlala nomntu, emva kokuba ndilungelelanise ubomi ndedwa. Ndandihlala neminqweno emininzi kwaye nditshaya kakhulu.
Phakathi kwiminyaka yoo 90's ndafudukela eSan Francisco emva kokukhulisa umdla wokunceda amakhoboka otywala neziyobisi ukuba achache njengonyango.
Nam ke ndaye ndaphola ngo 1986 kwaye ndaziva ndinombulelo ngenkxaso kunye noluntu olwalundivumele ukuba ndizazi ngokunzulu ndingazibopheleli "ngooosts noxinzelelo lwezinto ezibalulekileyo zenkcubeko. Ndandihlala ndimatsha ndisiya kwidrummer yam kwaye iSan Francisco indinike ithuba lokuphonononga iindlela zokuphila, andizange ndicinge njalo.
Ukufumana ingqeshiso entsha yobomi
Ngelixa ndandiqhuba iSeminar yokuLungisa ngehlobo lika-1995 labasebenzi bezentlalo baseBay Area, ndanikwa umboniseli-co-co owaba nguMnu.
Ukusebenza kunye kundinike ithuba lokwabelana kungekuphela ngefilosofi yokuchacha kodwa ndifunde nangomzabalazo wakhe wokufumana ubomi bobulumko nobabalo.
Wayengumzali ongenaqabane, ekhulisa unyana wakhe okwishumi elivisayo eBerkeley kwaye wayengangxami ukutshintsha indlela yakhe yokuphila. Ndandiqulunqe indlela yokucamngca kunye noluntu eSan Francisco kwaye ndingenamdla wokufudukela e-East Bay.
Ngokukhawuleza phambili iminyaka engama-23, siye saba ngamaqabane omphefumlo azinikeleyo. Unyana wakhe utshatile wafudukela e-NYC kwaye sahlala kwimodeli yeempelaveki kunye nooLwezithathu ubusuku kunye nangoLwesibini nangooLwezine sisodwa.
Ukuxhamla kwingxwabangxwaba eyadlulayo
Ekuboneni, zonke izandi azinangxaki kwaye ndicinga ukuba ukuhlangana phakathi kweminyaka engamashumi amane kunye nomsebenzi omninzi phantsi kweebhanti zethu izinto ezilula. Okanye mhlawumbi sixhamle kwintlungu ebuhlungu, isizungu kunye nokuba wedwa ngaphambi kokuba sidibane. Into endiyaziyo iyasebenza kuthi.
Ndiziva ndikhuselekile kwaye ndizinikele kulwalamano lwethu ngaphandle kokungabikho kolwakhiwo lwangaphandle lwelayisensi yomtshato. Ukutshata nomntu omnye kuye kwaba lukhetho lwethu kunye kunye nenkululeko yokuba kunye okanye hayi ngandlela thile igcina inkanuko iphila. Ndiya kugqiba i-70 kunyaka olandelayo kwaye ndithathe yonke imihla njengoko isiza.Ndicinga ukuba ekugqibeleni ndiziva ndisikelelekile, kuyo yonke le minyaka kamva, ukuba nditshate ngokupheleleyo nangokupheleleyo.