Umxholo
- 1. Umothuko
- 2. Ukoyika ukwaliwa
- 3. Besaqonda ubuni babo
- 4. Wahlala kubudlelwane obudlulileyo
- 5. Banemicimbi yezemali
- 6. Inkululeko yokwenza njengoko bathanda
- 7. Ezinye izinto eziphambili
- 8. Ukungakwazi ukuziva uthando
- 9. Imizekelo emibi kuyo yonke indawo
Ngaba unokulithelekelela ilizwe apho abantu bengenamnqweno wokuthandana? Kunzima ukuyifanisa, akunjalo? Ewe, kukho icandelo labemi abakhetha ukungatshati.
Ayisiyiyo "ukuthatha ikhefu kubudlelwane" kodwa ngokungathandani. Luhlobo olunjani lomntu othi kuye, 'Andifuni ukuthandana?' Makhe sijonge kule nto.
Kukho izizathu ezininzi zokuba indoda okanye umfazi angakhetha ukuhlala engatshatanga.
1. Umothuko
Umntu ngekhe afune ukuthandana kuba efumene umothuko okanye wabona ukwenzakala ekhaya. Iintlungu zobuntwana zinxulunyaniswe neemeko ezingapheliyo zempilo yengqondo kunye nempilo.
Umntwana okhulele kwikhaya elixhaphazayo unokumxelela ukuba abafuni kuthandana emva kokubona imeko yobudlelwane babazali babo: ukukhwaza, ukukhwaza, ukulila, ukubetha, ukugxeka okungapheliyo, kunye nokungonwabi ngokubanzi.
Ukukhula kunye nemodeli engalunganga yobudlelwane obufanele ukuba bube nothando kwanele ukweyisela umntwana ukuba abafuni ukuthandana.
2. Ukoyika ukwaliwa
Umntu unokuzixelela ngenjongo yokuba angathandani ngenxa yokuba engakhange akhe uvakalelo lokomelela kobuqu. Mhlawumbi babethandana kanye okanye kabini ebomini babo, kodwa izinto zaphela kakubi, kwaye bafumana ukungamkelwa.
Uninzi lwabantu, yonke le yinxalenye yomdlalo wothando, kwaye bayomelela ngala mava. Bayazi ukuba ixesha liya kuyiphilisa intlungu.
Kodwa kwabanye, ukoyika ukwaliwa yenye yezizathu zokuba ungathandani. Iintlungu zokwaliwa zininzi kakhulu kubo, ke bayarhoxa ngokukhetha ukuhlala bengatshatanga ngonaphakade kwaye bangathathi mngcipheko.
Nokuba baneemvakalelo ezinjalo ngaphakathi, banokuthi "andifuni kuthandana nawe" nokuba umntu othile ubonakalisa umdla kubo.
3. Besaqonda ubuni babo
Ukuba umntu usabuza imibuzo malunga nokuziphatha kwabo ngokwesondo, banokuba mathidala ukuthandana. Ukuwa eluthandweni nomntu omnye kunciphisa ukhetho lwabo, kwaye banokunqwenela ukuba nexesha lokuzama iindlela ezahlukeneyo zesini.
4. Wahlala kubudlelwane obudlulileyo
“Andifuni kuphinda ndithandane” - yimvakalelo umntu anayo xa esabambekile kwixesha elidlulileyo.
Umntu onjalo ubenothando olunzulu nolubalulekileyo kwixa elidlulileyo, kwaye abanakho ukuqhubela phambili. Bahlala bebambekile, besathandana ne-ex, nangona ubudlelwane buphelile okwethutyana.
Abavumeli ukuba bathandane kwakhona kuba oko kuya kuthetha ukuba akukho thuba lokubuyela kunye nomntu abacinga ukuba luthando lwabo lokwenene.
Le meko inokuthi ibe yinto engathandekiyo, kwaye umntu obambelele kwixesha elidlulileyo unokufuna unyango oluthile ukuze afunde indlela yokuyeka kwaye azivumele ukuba bathandane kwakhona.
Jonga kwakhona: Ungagqitha njani esiphelweni sobudlelwane.
5. Banemicimbi yezemali
Ukuba awunawo umthombo wengeniso, unokukhetha ukungathandani. Kuwe ingangumbandela wokuba "andifuni kuthandana kuba andizokwazi ukutyala imali kulwalamano."
Unexhala malunga nokuba ungaba kanjani kubudlelwane apho ungenakukwazi ukuthatha iqabane lakho uye nalo kwisidlo sangokuhlwa okanye ubonakalise ngezipho amaxesha ngamaxesha.
Unexhala lokubonwa njengexabiso eliphantsi okanye ungasebenzi. Ukhetha ukungathandani, ubuncinci de ubuyele ezinyaweni zakho ngokwezezimali.
6. Inkululeko yokwenza njengoko bathanda
"Andifuni ukuthandana kuba andifuni nje ukubotshwa." Sonke siyamazi umntu onjalo, akunjalo? Umdlalo wokugqibela.
Bayakonwabela ubudlelwane obulula kodwa abafuni ukuba izinto zibe nzulu, kuba oko kuthetha ukuba abanako ukwenza le nto bafuna ukuyenza ngexesha abafuna ngalo.
Abanye abantu bakhetha ukuhlala bengatshatanga kuba inkululeko yabo ibaluleke kakhulu kubo kwaye bacinga ukuba ubudlelwane obuzinzileyo bungayithatha loo nto. Abazimiselanga ukwenza ulungelelwaniso olungenakuphepheka olufunekayo kulwalamano lothando.
Abafuni ukuba noxanduva lokondla kunye nokugcina ubudlelwane obunzulu. Kulabo bafuna uthando ngokungathi bafuna ioksijini, ukukhetha ukungatshati ngonaphakade ngenxa yesi sizathu kunokubonakala kungaqhelekanga. Kodwa ngokude umntu anyaniseke kumaqabane akhe, umntu akanakugxeka indlela abaphila ngayo.
7. Ezinye izinto eziphambili
Abanye abantu bahlala bengatshatanga kuba ubomi babo buzaliswe zizinto eziphambili ngaphandle kothando. Ungaze uthandane ayisiyonto enkulu kubo.
Abafundi bazibophelele kwizifundo zabo, abaqeqeshi abancinci abafuna ukuzibonakalisa emsebenzini ukuze bakwazi ukunyuka ileli yokudibanisa, abantu abakhathalela abazali abagulayo, abahambi kwihlabathi liphela abafuna ukubona amazwe kunye neenkcubeko ezininzi kangangoko banakho ngaphambi kokuhlala phantsi.
Zonke ezi zizizathu ezifanelekileyo zokungabathandi aba bantu kuba bafuna ukugxila kwinto abayenzayo kwaye akufuneki bachithe ixesha kunye namandla kubudlelwane obunothando, ubuncinci okwangoku.
8. Ukungakwazi ukuziva uthando
Abanye abantu abaze badlule kumanqanaba athile okukhula, kwaye iziphumo kukuba abakwazi ukuziva uthando olunzulu.
Bayakonwabela ukwabelana ngesondo, kwaye bayathanda ukuba kunye nabanye, kodwa abaze bathandane kuba abanako. Akungombuzo wokungahlangani nomntu olungileyo. Aba bantu abanasakhono sokwenza iqhina lothando nomnye umntu. Banokude baveze ukuba "andifuni kuthandana" ngexa bethandana okanye ngamanye amaxesha yinto abayaziyo ezantsi ngaphakathi okanye bayasokola ukuyiqonda.
9. Imizekelo emibi kuyo yonke indawo
“Musa ukuthandana!” umhlobo wakho osenyongweni ukuxelela. Ihlala iphela kakubi. ” Ubona izibini ezininzi ezingonwabanga kangangokuba uthathe isigqibo sokuba kungcono ungaze uthandane kunokuba ube kwi ubudlelwane obunetyhefu.
Ke zikho ezinye zezizathu zokuba ungathandani. Kodwa ekugqibeleni, ubuza lo mbuzo: buya kuba njani ubomi ngaphandle kweemvakalelo ezimangalisayo ezithi ziveliswe luthando olunzulu, noluzinikeleyo?