Umxholo
- 1. Ukukhetha kubalulekile
- 2. Yiba liqabane elingcono
- 3. Musa ukubeka umboniso
- 4. Yiba ngumphulaphuli olunge ngakumbi: Unxibelelwano luya kulandela
- 5. Yiba khona: Ixesha elidlulileyo lidlulile, ikamva linokulinda
- 6. Yiba nokuzingca
- 7. Yonwaba kancinci
Makhe ndiqashele. Unesabelo esifanelekileyo sobudlelwane obubi ngaphambili kwaye ulapha ukuze ufumane indlela yokutshintsha loo nto. Ufuna ukufumana kunye nokudala olona lwalamano lubalaseleyo owakha wanalo, kodwa awazi ukuba uqale ngaphi.
Ngaba ndandisondele?
Ewe, eli nqaku liza kuba yindawo elungileyo ukuba uqale njengoko ujonge ukuphucula iimeko zakho zokuba nolwalamano olumangalisayo emgceni.
Landela ezi ngcebiso kwaye uyakufumana ubudlelwane bakho ngethamsanqa butshintsha bube ngcono.
1. Ukukhetha kubalulekile
Kangangoko ndingathanda ukutsho ukuba unokuba nolwalamano olumangalisayo naye nabani na omkhethileyo, ngekhe nje. Iindidi zobuntu zinokungqubana, iilwimi zothando zinokuchazwa gwenxa, kwaye, ngaphandle kwesiphoso sakho, wena naloo mfo okanye intombazana "egqibeleleyo" uyibiza ngokuba iyekile. Inyathelo lokuqala lokufumana ubudlelwane obumangalisayo kukuthatha amaqabane angcono.
Ukuba ubulele ama-scumbags okanye abanye ababalulekileyo bafumba ixesha lakho elidlulileyo, lixesha lokuba uthathe uluhlu.
Thatha ipeni, iphepha elithile, kwaye mhlawumbi nesiselo osithandayo osithandayo. Oku kunokuba kungabi kuhle, kodwa kuyafuneka. Bhala bonke abantu obangenisileyo ebomini bakho ixesha elininzi elibalulekileyo. Amathuba alungile ukuba uyakufumana umxholo oqhelekileyo phakathi kwamagama amakhulu kuluhlu lwakho. Usenokungawuboni loo mxholo ngaphambili, kodwa ngoku ukuba unombono othile kunye nomxholo wokujonga la magama ngaxeshanye, ungawubona ucace njengosuku.
Kungenzeka ukuba umxholo othi "guy in band" ubonakala. Kungenzeka ukuba ubuxokeni obuhle be-pathological. Nokuba imeko iyintoni na kuwe nakwindlela oqhele ukukhetha ngayo iqabane, thatha ixesha lakho ubhale ukuba umntu onempawu ezingafaniyo unjani. Ungatsho ukuba kufuneka uthandane nomntu ohluke ngokupheleleyo, kodwa ngokudala umfanekiso womntu okwangoku kude kummandla wendawo yakho yokuthuthuzela ye-cupid, uya kuqala ukuqondisa ingqalelo yakho kude kwizinto oqhele ukuya kuzo.
Lo msebenzi uphathelene neepateni zokwaphula. Kucacile ukuba awuthathi nxaxheba kulwalamano olonwabileyo kunye nolusempilweni, uneendlela ezimbi xa kufikwa ekukhetheni umntu olungileyo. Hlanganisa izinto kwaye ujonge ngaphandle kwebhola yakho yesiqhelo. Uya kufumanisa ukuba umntu "ongengohlobo lwakho" uyile nto kanye ubuyifuna.
2. Yiba liqabane elingcono
Ukukhetha umntu olungileyo oza kuchitha ixesha lakho naye kulisango lobudlelwane obukhulu, kodwa wakube ubandakanyekile, kuya kufuneka ubonise ngokuzingisileyo nangokungaguquguqukiyo ukugcina loo mntu ejikeleze.
Uyakhumbula endikuthethileyo ngaphambili ngokwaphula iipateni? Nje ukuba waphule iipateni zakho i-WHO uqala ubudlelwane naye, kubalulekile ukuba ujonge ngakumbi Njani uliqabane.
Ukuba ubukhe wanobudlelwane oburhabaxa ngaphambili, amathuba alungile ukuba ibingenguye ngokupheleleyo omnye umntu. Unomsebenzi oza kuwenzela umhlobo wam.
Ndiyathemba ukuba awuyibekanga ipeni nephepha lakho. Kwakhona, ndiyathemba ukuba unesinye seziselo ezinxilisayo kumgangatho olungele ukuhlamba lo mthambo ungonwabisiyo. Ayonwabisi, kodwa oh kubaluleke kakhulu, yiyo loo nto.
Ngomntu ngamnye osilele ukufumana ulonwabo kunye naye, bhala phantsi indlela odlale ngayo inxaxheba ekupheliseni ubudlelwane. Mhlawumbi ubuqhathe. Mhlawumbi ubunamathele. Mhlawumbi wawungenamdla ngokwaneleyo.
Kukho iifayile ze- itoni yezinto onokuzenza ngokwahlukileyo, nokuba ucinga ukuba unephutha okanye akunjalo. Ukuba ufuna ukuhlala ngokwala malunga nokungafezeki kwakho njengeqabane, kulungile. Yilungele ukuphinda inkqubo yobudlelwane obubi ozama ukwahlukana nayo.
Njengokubhala amaqabane akho angaphambili kwaye ufumane into ebadibanise bonke, umbono ofunyenwe ngokubhala phantsi ubuthathaka bakho uya kuyenza icace into ekufuneka usebenzele kuyo.
Musa ukuphinda, ungangeni kolunye ulwalamano de uthathe ixesha lakho ngokwakho kwaye usebenze kwinto oyibonayo phambi kwakho. Yiya kugqirha kwaye uthethe phandle ukuba uyafuna. Qesha umqeqeshi wobomi ukuba yinto yakho leyo. Funda ezinye zeencwadi eziza kukunika ulwazi malunga neendawo onokusebenzisa kuzo ukukhula. Ngokuziphilisa kunye neminye imiba onokuthi ubambelele kuyo, unokufumana iqabane elinemveliso kumntu ojonge ukukuthanda.
3. Musa ukubeka umboniso
Esinye sezona zizathu zibalulekileyo zokuba isigaba sasemva komtshato sisigaba nje kungenxa yendlela uninzi lwabantu olungena ngayo kubudlelwane.
Siphuma kwindlela yethu yokukholisa kunye nenkundla iqabane lethu elitsha, kodwa ngokwenza njalo, sihlala singabonisi uninzi lweempawu zethu.
Siyancuma naxa singonwabanga nabo.
Sibahleka iziqhulo zabo nokuba azihlekisi.
Sibeka umboniso.
I-facade eziswa ngamacala omabini kulwalamano lwenza ukuba kube nzima ukukhula komtshato. Ukuba wonke umntu uzisa inguqulelo egqibeleleyo kubo etafileni, iziphene zabo ziya kuthi ekugqibeleni zingene ekukhanyeni.
Ukuthintela ekugqibeleni ukuqhekeka kolu lwalamano lufezekileyo, bonisa njengolona hlobo lwenene lwakho kangangoko kunokwenzeka. Yiba ngoyena mntu okwenza wonwabe.
Ukuba oko kuthetha ukufunda uHarry Potter kwaye ucaphule Abahlobo naphi na apho unako, yenze!
Ukuba oko kuthetha ukuba awunguye umntu wakusasa kwaye uyonyanya konke oko kukuthi, yiba ngumnini!
Okungakumbi kwaphambi kokubeka, kokukhona ukunqunyulwa kuya kuba xa ekugqibeleni uzityhilela omnye ukuba ungubani kanye kanye. Ngokuba ngu ngokwenene Ukusukela ngemini yoku-1, uya kufumana umdlalo olunge ngakumbi kuwe kwaye unokuba nolwalamano olude nolwanelisayo.
4. Yiba ngumphulaphuli olunge ngakumbi: Unxibelelwano luya kulandela
Njengoko ufuna kwaye ungena kubudlelwane bakho obulandelayo, ziqhelise izakhono zakho zokumamela kuqala kunye nokuphambili. Yeka ukuva nje iqabane lakho kwaye umamele.
Abantu abaninzi bathi unxibelelwano sisitshixo esiphambili kulwalamano olusemgangathweni-kwaye kunjalo-kodwa ukuba kuya kufuneka ujolise kwinto enye kuloo nto, yenze ukuba imamele.
Uninzi lwethu luphazama ecaleni kwe-ego yethu kwaye musa ukuchitha ixesha uvelwano kunye neqabane lakho xa kukho ungquzulwano. Yenza konke okusemandleni akho ukumamela into abayithethayo, indlela abayithetha ngayo, kunye nolwimi lwabo lomzimba ngelixa liphuma emlonyeni wabo. Musa ukulinda nje ithuba lakho lokuba uthethe, sebenzisa ngobulumko!
Ngokuba ngumphulaphuli olunge ngakumbi, uya kuthatha iindlela ezichuliweyo kunye namagama osenokuba waphoswa ukuba ubungaphulaphuli ngenyameko. Oku ekugqibeleni kuya kuphakamisa ibha kunxibelelwano lwakho, kwenza ubudlelwane bakho bomelele kunakuqala.
5. Yiba khona: Ixesha elidlulileyo lidlulile, ikamva linokulinda
Le nugget incinci inokuqhushumba kwingxoxo yezentlalo neyenkcubeko ngokwayo, kodwa ngeenjongo zenqaku, masiqwalasele kubudlelwane.
Udibana nomntu, bakunika amabhabhathane, kwaye ingqondo yakho iqala ukubhala inoveli yebali lakho lothando.
Ngokuqhelekileyo, udibana nomntu omtsha, bakwenza uncume, kodwa bakukhumbuze nangesidala ongakhange usiyeke.
Kuzo zombini iimeko, awukho ngokwaneleyo ukuba unamava kwaye wonwabele ubudlelwane obuhleli phambi kwakho.
Endaweni yokufunda izifungo zomtshato wakho entlokweni yakho, yonwabele nje umzuzu ngamnye womhla wakho wesi-3.
Endaweni yokuchitha ubusuku bonke uqaphela ukuba inenekazi lakho elitsha lifana njani nenkosikazi yakho, yibakho kwaye wonwabe ukunxibelelana nomntu ohluke ngokupheleleyo.
Okukhona unokubuyela ekubeni ubekhona kangangoko, ngakumbi ubudlelwane bakho buya kukhula.
Ulibale ngezicwangciso zomtshato ude wazi ukuba uza kubatshata ngomso ukuba unakho.
Vumela ukuhamba kwexesha lakho elidlulileyo kwaye ungene apha kwaye ngoku.
Thatha uxinzelelo kwikamva elimangalisayo olileleyo, kwaye unciphise uxinzelelo lwexesha elidlulileyo elakulimazayo.
Zithobe kwimizuzu ohleli kuyo ngoku. Uzakufumana uninzi lwazo ngakumbi uluxabisa nganye nganye.
6. Yiba nokuzingca
Ngoku kukho irayisi yeengcebiso mhlawumbi ongayiboni yonke imihla.
Uninzi lweengoma zothando kunye neengcali zobudlelwane ziya kukuxelela ukuba kuya kufuneka uzinike ngokwakho kwiqabane lakho. Ngokubanzi, ayisiyongcamango imbi leyo. Okukhona uvulekileyo, unyanisekile, kwaye unothando, kokukhona kungcono. Kwimeko apho, nikela konke konke kumyeni wakho okanye kwinkosikazi yakho.
KODWA ...
Nangona iqabane ngalinye kubudlelwane kufuneka lizibophelele kwelinye, kufuneka likwazimisele ukuzenzela indawo.
Isitshixo solwalamano oluhle kakhulu ubudlelwane onabo nawe. Ukuba wena, njengomntu, unyamalele kwaye waba ngu "Umfazi kaJon" okanye "Umyeni kaMary," lixesha lokuba uzingce ngakumbi.
Oku akuthethi ukuba kufuneka uphume emtshatweni wakho okanye ungalihloniphi iqabane lakho nangayiphi na indlela, kodwa kuya kufuneka ubuncinci wenze indawo ethile ye "mna" yexesha.
Yiya kwindawo yokutya uze ufunde incwadi elungileyo malunga nekomityi eshushu yombhobho eshushu.
Joyina iligi yebhola ekhatywayo emnandi kunye nabahlobo bakho.
Thatha iklasi.
Funda isakhono esitsha.
Fumana into enokuba ngokupheleleyo eyakho.
Ngokufumana ixesha kunye nendawo yokuzikhathalela, ungabonisa ukuzaliseka ngakumbi kubudlelwane bakho. Ukuba uhlala uhlala kwinkonzo okanye uxanduva kumyeni okanye kwinkosikazi yakho, uyakufumanisa ukuba isazisi sakho siqala ukushenxa.
Ngaba wena neqabane lakho niyathandana kwaye niyila indawo yokubuyela kunxibelelwano nobani. Yiba ngumntu ozithandayo.
7. Yonwaba kancinci
Nje ukuba wenze umsebenzi onzima, phumla kwaye wonwabe nabantu ozibandakanya nabo. Kumaxesha amaninzi ndibona abantu bebeka uxinzelelo olungafanelekanga kubo okanye kumaqabane abo ngenxa yoxinzelelo loluntu okanye ulindelo.
Musa ukuzibamba xa utshata. Sukuba nexhala lokuba ulele nabantu abangaphi. Sukuvumela ukuba iwotshi yomntwana iqale ukukhathaza xa nithandana iinyanga ezi-3 kuphela.
Yiba khona kwaye wonwabele mzuzu ngamnye kunye. Zonke ezinye ziya kuwela ngexesha elifanelekileyo. Ukunyanzela umba kuya kudala kuphela uxinzelelo oluya kuthi lubangele ukwanda kwomsindo kunye neengxabano.
Khaba umva, uphumle, kwaye ukonwabele ukukhwela.
Ukuba nomdlalo bhanyabhanya ofana nothando akunakwenzeka, kodwa unokuziva ngathi awukulungelanga ukujonga umsebenzi owenzileyo ukwenza olo lwalamano. Ukuchola iqabane elifanelekileyo sisitshixo, kodwa ke kukwazi ukunika iqabane lakho yonke into eliyifaneleyo. Sebenza ngokwakho kuqala, emva koko uye emhlabeni kwaye unike uthando olungele ukusasaza.
Nje ukuba ufumanise oko, mayeke yonke indawo. Awungekhe ulwe nendalo, ke konwabele nje ixesha njengoko uzenzayo.