Umxholo
- 1. Yazi ukuba kuyinto eqhelekileyo
- 2. Khumbula ukuba ukwelo qela linye
- 3. Yazi apho nivela khona nobabini
- Thatha ixesha lokuthetha ngako
- 5. Fumana isisombululo
- 6. Nyamezela ixesha elide
- 7. Fumana uncedo xa kukho imfuneko
Ngaba uphosa izandla uphelelwe lithemba kuba kubonakala ngathi wena neqabane lakho nihlala nisilwa malunga neendlela ezingqubanayo zokuba ngumzali?
Ukuba ayisiyiyo malunga nokondla, kuya kuba malunga neendlela zabo zokulala kwaye, ewe, indlela yobaqeqesha. Ngubani onokucinga ukuba ukuba ngumzali njengeqela kuya kuthi ngesiquphe kubaluleke kakhulu kwaye kuphazamise?
Ngaphambi kokuba iintsana zakho zifike, umahluko kubuzali bakho awuzange ubaluleke kangako, kwaye ngandlela thile wawucinga ukuba nobabini niya kuthatha ubuzali kwimizila yenu, niwele iibhulorho xa nize kuzo niqhubeke naphambili nangaphezulu njengangaphambili.
Ewe, njengoko isitsho intetho: "Wamkelekile kubuzali!"
Uninzi lwethu, kuphela kwamava esinawo okufumana iindlela ezahlukeneyo zokuba ngumzali zivela kwindlela abazali bethu abasiphathe ngayo.
Ngokwemvelo sinokuthi sinyibilike kwiindlela ezifanayo zobuzali kunye neendlela zookhokho bethu - okanye sinokuphendula emadolweni kwicala elahlukileyo.
Kwaye ke, ewe, kukho eyethu i-quirks kunye neempawu zobuntu eziya kuthi zidlale-amaxesha amabini, kuni nobabini! Akumangalisi ukuba kutheni ukungavisisani kwabazali kubonakala ngakumbi.
Ukukhetha uhlobo oluthile lokuba ngumzali kuya kuba nefuthe elibonakalayo ekukhuleni komntwana wakho.
Ke, ukuba wena neqabane lakho nisokola ukufikelela kwizimbo ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo zokuba ngumzali, unokufumana ezi zikhombisi zisixhenxe kunye neengcebiso ziluncedo.
Kuya kufuneka uphinde ufunde nolunye uphando lwangoku ngeendlela zokuba ngumzali ukuze ufumane ukuqonda okungcono ngalo mbono.
1. Yazi ukuba kuyinto eqhelekileyo
Ngamanye amaxesha xa uphakathi kwezinto ezixineneyo emgangathweni ngo-3 kusasa kunye nosana olukhalayo egxalabeni lakho kunokuvakala ngokulula ukuba owakho ngowona mtshato unzima.
Iingcinga ezinje ngokuba "yintoni engalunganga kuthi, kutheni singenakho nje ukuhlala kunye kwaye siqheleke" zinokuza zityhutyhume entliziyweni nasengqondweni yakho.
Iindaba ezimnandi zezokuba Iindlela ezahlukeneyo zokuba ngumzali ezibangela iingxaki yinto eqhelekileyo nakwimitshato esempilweni kuba akunakwenzeka ukudibanisa abantu ababini abahluke ngokupheleleyo kumtshato omnye ngaphandle kweentlantsi ezimbalwa apha naphaya.
Umcimbi ayisiyiyo ukuba kukho iyantlukwano, kodwa endaweni yoko usebenza ngayo kunye nendlela yokuba ngumzali kunye.
Okwangoku, kufuneka kuqatshelwe ukuba ukuba kukho naluphi na uhlobo lokuxhatshazwa (ngokwasemzimbeni, ngomlomo, ngokweemvakalelo, ngokwasemoyeni, okanye ngokwezemali) okanye iziyobisi emtshatweni wakho, oko akuqhelekanga.
Kuya kufuneka ufumane uncedo ngokukhawuleza kumcebisi oqeqeshiweyo, ugqirha, okanye kumnxeba woncedo olungxamisekileyo.
Elinye inqaku libhekiswe kwabo bazali bobabini bavulekileyo ukuba batshintshe kwaye basebenze ngokuzimisela kwiindlela zabo zokuba ngabazali kunye nengxaki yobudlelwane emva kosana.
2. Khumbula ukuba ukwelo qela linye
Xa abazali bengavumelani ngendlela yokukhulisa umntwana, unokuzibona ngathi nikhuphisana.
Ngamnye kuni unokuzama ngamandla ukuba 'aphumelele' impikiswano kwaye aqinisekise ukuba indlela yakho yobuzali yeyona ilungileyo. 
Kulapho kufuneka ubuyele umva kancinci kwaye ukhumbule ukuba nobabini kwiqela elinye - akukho khuphiswano lokuphumelela.
Uphando lubonakalisile ukuba umahluko kwisitayile sakho sokuba ngumzali unokuba nemicimbi yokuziphatha kubantwana bakho kwaye ibenze ukuba bafumane iimpawu ze-ADHD.
Nobabini niphumelele xa nitshata, kwaye ngoku kufuneka nenjenjalo Gxila ekuqhubeleni phambili kunye ngesandla njengoko ubathanda kwaye ufundisa abantwana bakho ukuba yintoni ubomi.
3. Yazi apho nivela khona nobabini
Njengoko sele kukhankanyiwe, uhlobo lokukhuliswa nguwe kunye neqabane lakho luya kuba nefuthe elibonakalayo kwindlela ojonga ngayo indima yakho yokuba ngumzali.
Ke xa iindlela zokuba ngumzali zahlukile, ke eyona nto intle ukuyenza kukwenza Yazi imvelaphi yomnye nomnye. Thetha ngembali yosapho lwakho kunye neenkolelo kunye neenqobo ezisemgangathweni ezendele ebuntwaneni bakho.
Mhlawumbi ke kuya kuba lula ukuqonda ezinye zeembono eziphazamisayo nezikhathazayo elibambelele nkqi kwiqabane lakho.
Nje ukuba niqondane, aninakugxeka kwaye nizonde isitayile somzali somnye, esahlukileyo kwesenu.
Njengoko wabelana ngeengcinga zakho kunye neemvakalelo zakho, unokuncedana ukuze ubone indlela izinto ezazisebenza ngelo xesha zinokwahluka kancinci ngoku.
Thatha ixesha lokuthetha ngako
Enye yezona mpazamo zilula ukuzenza kukuphikisana phambi kwabantwana bakho.
Abancinci bayakhawuleza ukuthatha xa umama notata bengavumi. Kwaye xa kukho ukungqubana okuvulekileyo, ibanika imiyalezo edibeneyo, enokubangela ukudideka kunye nokungazithembi.
Abantwana abadala banobuchule bokusebenzisa imeko kwaye badlale ngabazali babo omnye komnye. Kungcono ukuthatha ixesha lokuthetha izinto xa ninobabini kunye.
Ke xa nikunye nabantwana, banokubona ukuba niyaxhasana kwaye nimanyene kwindima yenu njengabazali.
Jonga kwakhona:
5. Fumana isisombululo
Isisombululo ligama elingcono kunokuba 'ulalanise' -ngokufanelekileyo, lithetha ukufumana indlela eya phambili esebenza kuzo zombini iindlela zakho zobuzali, kunye nomntwana wakho.
Ungathini ukuba awunakukwazi ukukucinga ukuba umntwana wakho utya ukutya okungenampilo yonke imihla, kodwa iqabane lakho lithanda ukonakalisa abantwana ngokuphatha kunye nokutya okulula?
Mhlawumbi ungavuma ngemini ekhethekileyo yokunyanga kube kanye ngeveki, mhlawumbi ngempelaveki, kwaye ugcine iveki yonke isempilweni.
Okanye mhlawumbi uziva ukuba iqabane lakho lifuna ngenkani kakhulu ebantwaneni, libakhethela yonke into encinci.
Ti-alk uyigqibe kwaye uthathe isigqibo sokuba zeziphi iindlela zokuziphatha ezifanelekileyo ekufuneka ujongane nazo kwaye zeziphi ezingafanelekanga. Ngamanye amagama, khetha amadabi akho.
6. Nyamezela ixesha elide
Khumbula, ukuba ngumzali kukubaleka umgama omde- ayikokubaleka okufutshane. Zilungiselele kwaye ukhawuleze uzokuhamba ixesha elide.
Nyamezela emvuleni kuba kuyakubakho neentsuku ezininzi ezinelanga nazo. Nandipha lonke isigaba kunye nexesha lobomi babantwana bakho kuba badlula ngokukhawuleza.
Ubuntwana bungaziva ngathi bubomi bonke, kodwa ngaphambi kokuba wazi, baya kuba bekhasa bebalekela kwisikolo sabantwana abaphambili, emva koko kwisikolo esiphakamileyo.
Ke khuthazeka njengoko usebenza ngeendlela zakho ezahlukeneyo zomzali kwaye ubone umahluko wakho njengenzuzo, kunye nesitayile ngasinye esincedisana nesinye.
Kwakhona, khumbula ukuba abantwana bakho bafunda izifundo ezixabisekileyo kuni nobabini njengoko bejonga kwaye befumana iindlela zakho ezizodwa zokuba ngumzali.
7. Fumana uncedo xa kukho imfuneko
Ukuba ufumanisa ngokuhamba kwexesha ukuba awukwazi ukulungisa ukungavisisani kwakho, kwaye ukuba ngumzali kukuqhubela phambili ngokubanzi nangokubanzi phakathi kwakho neqabane lakho, nceda ungathandabuzi ukufumana uncedo.
Luninzi uncedo olukhoyo, ke ungasokoli wedwa. Endaweni yokuba nifumane umcebisi okanye ingcali enokunceda nina nobabini ukuvuselela nokubuyisela uthando kunye novuyo enanikhe nalonwabela kunye.
Nje ukuba nikwiphepha elinye kwakhona, uya kuba nakho ukuba ngumzali kunye, unothando, ufundise, kwaye ukhulise abantwana bakho ngendlela abayifunayo kwaye kufanelekile ukuba babe ngabazali, ngaphandle kwezimbo zakho ezizodwa.