Umxholo
- Ixesha lokubuyisela ukungathembeki
- Amanqanaba okuphulukana nokungathembeki
- 1. Fikelela kwinqanaba lokuxela okupheleleyo
- 2. Bonisanani uvelwano omnye komnye
- 3. Cela uxolo uxanduva
- 4. Gqiba ukuba nihlale kunye
- 5.Yakha ukuthembana kwakhona emtshatweni wakho
Ukungathembeki. Awuzange ucinge ukuba kuya kwenzeka emtshatweni wakho, kodwa nantsi ke. Ngaba uziva ngathi ushiywe kwizixhobo zakho ukubuyela kwimeko yokungathembeki?
Uninzi lweengcali ziyavuma ukuba ngelixa imicimbi yomtshato isenokungabi nadefu kodwa ishiya umzila womonakalo, iintlungu kunye nentliziyo ebuhlungu.
Ukufumana kwakhona kukungathembeki, ukuphilisa emva kokukopela kunye nokubuyisela ukuthembana kubudlelwane kuthatha ixesha kunye noncedo oluvela kwimithombo eyahlukeneyo.
Ngaphambi kokuba singene kumanyathelo afunekayo ukuze siphinde sinyaniseke, umbuzo omkhulu ngulo, yenzeke njani le nto? Kwenzeka njani ukuba umtshato wakho uwe kude kangaka ukuba omnye wenu aphambuke?
Ukunganyaniseki kunokuthatha iindlela ezininzi, ukusuka kwiimvakalelo ukuya kufutshane kwindalo.
Kodwa into ebalulekileyo eyenzekileyo kukwaphula ukuthembana.
Xa ukungathembeki kusenzeka, oko kuthetha ukuba omnye wabatshati usophule isifungo somtshato sokuba namehlo kuphela kumaqabane abo. Nobabini nakhe ubomi kunye- kodwa ngoku ingathi iyaqhekeka.
Nje ukuba ufikelele ekwamkeleni ukungathembeki okwenzekileyo, imibuzo yakho elandelayo iya kuba yile: Ngaba singayenza? Ngaba umtshato wethu unokuhlala emva kwesi senzo sokungcatsha? Ngaba sinokuphinda siphume emva kokungathembeki? Ungaphila njani emva kokungathembeki?
Ukufumana ngaphezulu komcimbi kuya kuxhomekeka kwizinto ezininzi, kodwa kunokwenzeka ukuba udlule koku kwaye mhlawumbi ube sisibini esomeleleyo kunangaphambili.
Ixesha lokubuyisela ukungathembeki
Kukho amanyathelo aluncedo anokuthathwa aququzelela ukuphilisa, kodwa kusathatha ixesha.
Akukho ndlela imfutshane yokubuyisela kwimeko yokungathembeki. Abanye abantu abatshatileyo baseta ixesha lonyaka lokuphinda babuyekeze emva komcimbi, kwabanye, le mibini.
Eyona nto ibaluleke kakhulu, omabini amaqabane kufuneka azinikele ukulungisa umonakalo, ukwakha ukuthembana kunye nokuphilisa umtshato wabo. Ke, ngokukhawuleza ufumana uncedo, ngcono.
Umothuko emva kokuthandana uya usonakala kwiqabane eliqhathiweyo. Iqabane elingcatshiweyo lihlala lizibuza, "uza kuphila ixesha elingakanani ukungathembeki?".
Yinkqubo ende phambi kokuba uphinde uchache kwimeko yakho yeemvakalelo okanye kulwalamano lomzimba emtshatweni.
Amanqanaba okuphulukana nokungathembeki
Ngaphambi kokuba sijonge kwiingcebiso malunga nendlela yokufumana kwakhona kukungathembeki, kubalulekile ukuqonda amanqanaba okubuyela kwimeko yokungathembeki.
Nangona kungekho bungakanani bunye obulingana nazo zonke iifomula zamanqanaba okuphilisa emva kokungathembeki, njengoko isibini ngasinye sinemeko yaso eyahlukileyo, kuyacetyiswa ukuba ujonge kwimigaqo ngokubanzi yamanqanaba okubuyela kwimeko yesiqhelo.
- Inqanaba lomothuko lelona nqanaba linzima xa umcimbi uveza okanye ufumanisa. Isityhilelo siyayiphazamisa intembelo yakho kwaye sikwenze uzive ngathi umhlaba wakho uphela uyadilika. Kuyacetyiswa ukuba ungenzi naziphi na izigqibo malunga nexesha elizayo lobudlelwane bakho ngeli xesha lesigaba sosizi, njengoko ushiyeke uziva ulilolo, unomsindo kwaye udidekile.
- Ukuza kwimigangatho okanye kwinqanaba lokuqonda yenzeka xa sele uqalile ukugqitha ukwala kwakho kokuqala, kunye nomsindo nokudideka. Kule nqanaba, unokuba nethemba ngekamva ukuba uthatha isigqibo sokuba ufuna ukuhlala kunye. Uyakukulungela ukuqonda ukuba kwenzeka njani umcimbi kunye nenkqubo apho igalelo lakho lilele kulwalamano lwakho kunye nezinto ezalandelayo.
- Ukuphuhlisa inqanaba lobudlelwane elitsha yazisa esona sigqibo sibaluleke kakhulu ngokuhlala kunye njengesibini, okanye ukuyeka ukuya phambili. Ukuba uthatha isigqibo sokwakha kwakhona ikamva kunye noncedo loncedo lobuchwephesha, uya kuba nakho ukufumana iindlela zokwenza umtshato usebenze kuwe ngokuqonda okutsha, ubhetyebhetye kunye namandla kubuhlakani bakho bomtshato.
Nazi ezinye iingcebiso malunga nokuba ungadlula njani ekuthandaneni kunye nendlela yokufumana kwakhona kukungathembeki.
Ukufumana kwakhona kumcimbi 101
1. Fikelela kwinqanaba lokuxela okupheleleyo
Emva kokungathembeki, iqabane elangcatshwayo liza kuziva lingenakuzinceda kwaphela; abanalo ulwazi kwaye baya kuqhubeka bezibuza ukuba kwenzeke ntoni.
Ngapha koko, banokuthi phithi kukutshintsha kweziganeko. Ukucinga kuthambekele ekuhambeni xa kuxhomekeke kukuqikelela.
Emva kokuba umothuko wokuqala weendaba ugqithile, vuma ukudibana nithethe ngendlela izinto ezenzeke ngayo. Qiniseka ukuba nobabini nilungile kuba le iya kuba yingxoxo enzulu.
Kodwa kufuneka yenziwe.
Lixesha lokuba ufikelele kwinqanaba lokuxelwa ngokupheleleyo. Iqabane elingcatshisiweyo lifanelwe kukwazi ukuba kwenzeke ntoni kulowo wenze loo nto, kwaye abo banetyala kufuneka babe nethuba lokuseta irekhodi.
Into ebalulekileyo kukuba nobabini ninyaniseke ngokupheleleyo; Kukwabalulekile ukuba wonke umntu abone ukulungela kwabo kwaye bacele intlanganiso eyongezelelweyo kamva ukuze ucole ulwazi ngokuhamba kwexesha.
Ukuphilisa emva kokungathembeki, gcina imizila yonxibelelwano ivulekile kwaye umamele ngokuzolileyo. Olu kukunaniselana ngolwazi, hayi ixesha lokumangalela.
2. Bonisanani uvelwano omnye komnye
Iqela ngalinye liza kuziva limbi okwexeshana. Ke, ungawenza njani umcimbi?
Ngokucacileyo iqabane ebeliqhathiwe liza kuziva lingcatshiwe kwaye lide lijongelwe phantsi; kodwa iqabane eliqhathiweyo liya kuthi libe neemvakalelo ezinamandla, kubandakanya ukuba netyala kunye nosizi ngenxa yeziphoso ozenzileyo. Kwaye bobabini abatshatileyo baya kulila oko ubudlelwane babo babukade bukuko.
Ukufumana kwakhona koku kungathembeki kufuna ukuba omabini amaqabane abonise uvelwano komnye. Ikwafuna ukuba ngamnye kubo angazingci ekuzisizeleni. Ewe bobabini baziva besoyikeka ngento eyenzekileyo kubo. Kodwa qaphela iimvakalelo zomnye umntu.
Okukhona nobabini ninokugxila kwindlela oziva ngayo omnye umntu, kokukhona kuya kuba lula ukubuyela kwimeko yakho yeemvakalelo.
3. Cela uxolo uxanduva
Kunzima ukusitsho amagama, umntu ngamnye obandakanyekayo ufuna ukuva ukuba omnye uyaxolisa.
Ngokucacileyo umntu okreqileyo kufuneka acele uxolo ngokukopela ngendlela yokuba elinye iqabane lazi ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba lixolile.
Kodwa omabini amaqabane nawo kufuneka athethe ngawo kwaye athi bayazisola ngento ekhokelele ekubeni umtshato uphelele kule meko.
Emva koko, umntu ngamnye kufuneka alwamkele uxolo lomnye — nokuba kuthabatha ixesha ukufikelela apho — ukuze bakwazi ukuqhubeka nobomi. Kwaye emva koko bobabini abatshatileyo kufuneka bathathe uxanduva ngazo naziphi na iimpazamo ezinxulumene nokungathembeki.
Jonga kwakhona:
4. Gqiba ukuba nihlale kunye
Nisathandana? Lo mbuzo usembindini wento apho izinto ziya kusuka khona apha. Nokuba kukho uthando olunye, kwanele.
Unokugqiba kunye ukuqhubela phambili. Ewe, awunakunyanzela elinye iqabane ukuba lihlale-unokwazi ukulawula izigqibo zakho. Ke thetha ngayo.
Ukuba benihlala kunye, ubomi benu babuza kuba njani? Ukuba nihlala kunye, ninokwakha iqhina elomelele ngakumbi. Qiniseka nje ukuba unencoko ukuze nazi nobabini ukuba izinto zizakuhamba zisuka phi apha.
5.Yakha ukuthembana kwakhona emtshatweni wakho
Nje ukuba ubuyele kwisikwere esinye, lixesha lokuba uqale ngokwakha kwakhona.
Yamkela ukuba izinto ziya kwahluka, kwaye uhlale uzimisele ukuyenza isebenze.
Ukuba ufuna ukubuyela kwimeko yokungathembeki, ngelishwa, kuya kufuneka uqale ekuqaleni kwakhona. Kodwa sukuyijonga njengomsebenzi — yijonge njengethuba. Inombolo enye, lixesha lokuba unxibelelane nonyango lomtshato.
Udinga umntu wesithathu ukunceda ukulamla iimvakalelo kwaye uphinde uthethe ngemicimbi ebalulekileyo eza kuza. Ukwakha ukuthembana ayikokuphela kwentliziyo etyhafileyo-kuyakukunyanzela ukuba ujongane nezona ndawo zakho zibuthathaka.
Zibophelele ekubonaneni ngayo, nibambisane, kwaye ninokuchacha kwakhona xa ninonke.