Umxholo
- 1. Zinike ixesha lokuba buhlungu
- 2. Kulungele ukuxolela
- 3. Jonga umcebisi womtshato
- 4. Sukuvala
- 5. Gcina izisongelo etafileni
Xa indoda nomfazi beme phambi kosapho nabahlobo babo bexela uthando lwabo omnye komnye, kwizifungo zabo zomtshato, kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukuva besithi "Ndiza kubashiya bonke abanye ndithembeke kuwe kuphela ngalo lonke ixesha lokuphila kwam . ”
Nangona kunjalo ngelishwa, nokuba la magama ebethethwe ngeyona njongo iphambili, imicimbi inokwenzeka. Isenokuba ngenxa yeengxaki zonxibelelwano, imiba yokuthandana okanye omnye okanye bobabini abantu baziva ngathi baneemfuno zovakalelo ezingafezekiswa liqabane labo.
Nangona kunjalo, nokuba yeyiphi na imeko, ukuba kukho into enye uninzi lwabacebisi ngomtshato abaza kuvumelana ngayo, yinto yokuba kunqabile ukuba ibe yinto malunga nomntu lowo umyeni okanye umfazi abandakanyeka naye. Phantse rhoqo, imalunga nokuqhawuka komtshato ngokwawo.
Into eza emva komtshato apho amaqabane ashiyeka ezibuza ukuba uza kuwusindisa njani umtshato emva komtshato. Ukufumana kwakhona kukungathembeki okanye sukudibanisa kunye emva kokungathembeki kufuna umonde ogqithileyo, ukuzimisela, kunye nokuzibophelela.
Nangona zininzi iindlela zokuwusindisa umtshato wakho emva kokungathembeki, ayizizo zonke izibini ezinokuthi zithathe umtshato ophumeleleyo emva kokungathembeki.
Ke ukuba ungumntu osandula ukufumana amava emtshatweni wakho, njengokukhathaza kwentliziyo njengoko amava enjalo, likho ithemba. Nokuba kunzima ukukholelwa ngoku, zikho iingcebiso zokonga umtshato emva kokungathembeki yenzeka. Nazi ezintlanu zazo:
1. Zinike ixesha lokuba buhlungu
Oku kusebenza kumntu obenomdla kunye neqabane elixhoba lalo. Ukuba kukho into enye umntu owakhe wahlangana nayo ngaphambili angakuxelela yona, kukuba umtshato wakho awusoze ufane. Ngokukodwa kwimeko yokungathembeki okuphindaphindiweyo emtshatweni.
Ngamanye amaxesha, inokuphela sele ingcono (kuba ukusebenza ngokuthandana kudala uhlobo olwahlukileyo lwebhondi), kodwa akufani.
Ke ngoko, nobabini nidinga ixesha ukwenza oku kwenzekileyo, ukuziva kabuhlungu ngento eyenzekileyo kwaye ewe, ukuba buhlungu kwinto eyayikade ikho, ukulungiselela into ezakuba "yeyesiqhelo" yakho.
Ukwazi indlela yokufumana ukungathembeki kuqala ngokuqonda okwenziweyo kunye nezizathu ezinokubakho. Ngokwesiqhelo, kuthatha izibini ixesha lokuqonda ngokupheleleyo ubungakanani bentlungu ebangelwa zizenzo zeqabane labo.
2. Kulungele ukuxolela
Umntu olumke kakhulu owakha wathi umtshato uqulethe abaxoleli ababini. Nditsho nezibhambathiso zomtshato esi sibini sizibophelela omnye komnye ngokulungileyo okanye okubi.
Nangona ukungathembeki ngokuqinisekileyo kuwela kwinqanaba "lesibi" sezibhambathiso zomtshato, kubalulekile ukuba ukhumbule ukuba wonke umntu unamaphutha kwaye abantu ababini abathandanayo akuthethi ngokuzenzekelayo ukuba umcimbi awunakuze wenzeke (ukuba ayingowokwenyama, kunokuba mhlawumbi ngokweemvakalelo).
Ukuxolela umntu akuthethi ukuba uyakuhoya okwenzekayo.
Oko kuthetha ukuba uzimisele ukuwulungisa lo mbandela kuba umtshato wakho ubaluleke ngakumbi kuwe kunakuqala. Kwirekhodi, kubalulekile ukuba umntu obebandakanyeka kulwalamano acele uxolelwano kunye neqabane lakhe kwaye naye azixolele.
Enye yezona zinto zibalulekileyo iingcebiso zokufumana ukungathembeki kwaye nihlale kunye kukuqonda undoqo wokuxolela emtshatweni wakho.
3. Jonga umcebisi womtshato
Ngaba ukucebisa ngomtshato kuyasebenza emva kokungathembeki? Ewe, kukho izibini ezitshatileyo ezikwaziyo ukuphila ngokuthandana ngaphandle koncedo lomcebisi womtshato, kodwa abo bantu babodwa kwaye ayingomgaqo.
Inyani yile yokuba xa kufikwa kumba wokugcina umtshato wakho emva kokungathembeki, ukuba into leyo kukwaphula ukuthembana okugqithisileyo, kufuneka uchwephesha akuncede kwindlela yokumamela omnye komnye, ukuxolelana omnye nomnye nokucwangcisa isicwangciso sendlela hambela phambili.
Ukucetyiswa ngomtshato kubonisa iseti yezixhobo ezinokwenza ukuba isibini singene ukuhlala utshatile emva kokungathembeki kodwa ngokuqinisekileyo iya kucela ukuzibophelela okugqithisileyo kunye nomonde kubo bobabini abalingani.
4. Sukuvala
Ukuba nguwe oye wenza umcimbi, mhlawumbi uye waziva zonke iintlobo zeemvakalelo ezivela kwiintloni kunye nokwesaba ukudideka kunye nokuxhalabisa. Kwelinye icala, ukuba uliqabane eliva malunga nokuthandana, mhlawumbi uve yonke into usuka emsindweni nakusizi ukukhathazeka nokungazithembi.
Zonke ezi mvakalelo ziya kwenza abantu abatshatileyo bafune ukuvala, bakhe udonga kwaye emva koko bashiye omnye komnye xa eneneni kukugqibela into efuna ukwenzeka ngokugcina umtshato emva komtshato.
Ukuba kukho “ulungelelwaniso lwesilivere” olunokuthi luvele kumcimbi wokuthandana, kukuba abantu ababini ngoku bakwimeko yokuba sengozini yeepesenti ezili-100, nto leyo evumela ukuba bafunde kwaye malunga omnye nomnye ngendlela eyahlukileyo .
Kwaye oku, ekuhambeni kwexesha, kunokukhuthaza inqanaba elitsha lokusondelana. Sukudibana kunye emva kokukopela iqala ngokunxibelelana nobuthathaka bakho kunye neqabane lakho kwaye ungazisoli kuba lusizi, ukuziva unetyala, kunye neentloni.
5. Gcina izisongelo etafileni
Xa ukwinkqubo yokugcina umtshato wakho kukungathembeki, kunyanzelekile ukuba izoyikiso zingathethwa.
Oku kubandakanya ukugrogrisa ngokushiya, ukugrogrisa ngokuqhawula umtshato kwaye, ukuba nguwe owenze umcimbi, usongela ukuya kulowo ubuqhathe naye iqabane lakho.
Ukubuya emtshatweni kufuna ukuba bobabini abatshatileyo bakulungele ukubeka konke okujolise kubo kunye nomzamo wabo wokwakha umtshato, hayi ngakumbi ukuwuchitha kunye neengcinga zokushiya ubudlelwane.
Ukugcina umtshato emva kokungathembeki akukho lula, kodwa ngezi ngcebiso kunye nexesha elithile, ngokuqinisekileyo kunokwenzeka. Hlala uvulekile. Hlala uzimisele. Kwaye hlala unqwenela ukwenza umtshato wakho uphile-kwakhona.