Uxinzelelo emva koqhawulo-mtshato: oonobangela, imiqondiso kunye nendlela yokufumana ngaphezulu

Umbhali: Laura McKinney
Umhla Wokudalwa: 3 Utshazimpuzi 2021
Hlaziya Umhla: 1 Eyekhala 2024
Anonim
Uxinzelelo emva koqhawulo-mtshato: oonobangela, imiqondiso kunye nendlela yokufumana ngaphezulu - I-Psychology
Uxinzelelo emva koqhawulo-mtshato: oonobangela, imiqondiso kunye nendlela yokufumana ngaphezulu - I-Psychology

Umxholo

Ukuphela kobudlelwane kunokubangela iimvakalelo ezingathandekiyo, kubandakanya nokudakumba koqhawulo-mtshato. Kuqhelekile ukuba buhlungu xa ubudlelwane buphela, ngakumbi ukuba ubudlelwane babunzulu kwaye ukwahlukana kwakungalindelwanga.

Ukwahlukana kosizi kunokuba kubumnene kwaye kudlule ngokuhamba kwexesha, kodwa kwezinye iimeko, kunokuqhubela phambili kuxinzelelo lweklinikhi. Kuzo zombini iimeko, kukho iindlela zendlela yokufumana ukudakumba koqhawulo-mtshato.

Kutheni ukwahlukana kunzima?

Njengoko iingcali zichazile, ukwahlukana kunzima kuba kubangela utshintsho olukhulu kubomi, ezinje ngokuba mandundu kwemali okanye imeko entsha. Kubalulekile ukuba ukhumbule ukuba ngokwahlukana, usentlungwini yokuphulukana nobudlelwane obubalulekileyo.

Nokuba bekukho iingxaki kubudlelwane, ukwahlukana kusekho ilahleko.


Emva kokuphulukana nobudlelwane, unokuziva ulilolo. Ezinye zezizathu zokwahlukana zinzima kukuba unokuziva ungazithembi okanye ube nembono eguqulweyo yokuba ungubani.

Ubudlelwane yinxalenye ephambili yesazisi, kwaye ukuphulukana nako kunokutshintsha indlela ozibona ngayo. Ngamanye amaxesha, ukuphulukana nobudlelwane kunokukushiya uziva ungenanto, ngokungathi awuzazi ukuba ungubani.

Ngamanye amaxesha, ukwahlukana kunokuthetha ukuba kuya kufuneka ube ngumzali wabantwana kunye neqabane lakho langaphambili. Oku kunokuthetha ukuyeka ixesha nabantwana bakho ukuze umntu owayekade uliqabane lakho achithe ixesha elinye kunye nabo.

Unokuba nakho ukuphulukana nobuhlobo ukuba nobabini benabahlobo bobabini abaxhasa icala lakho emva kokwahlukana. Ekugqibeleni, ukwahlukana kulucelomngeni kuba kukhokelela kutshintsho oluninzi ngaxeshanye.

Unobangela Wokwahlukana

Uxinzelelo lwasemva kobudlelwane yenye yeziphumo ebezingalindelekanga zokuhamba nemiceli mngeni yokuphelisa ubudlelwane, nokuba bekukho isizathu esihle sokwahlukana. Abanye oonobangela bokuqhekeka kubandakanya ukwahluka kubuntu, ukungachithi ixesha elaneleyo kunye, okanye ukungonwabi ngonxibelelwano ngokwesondo kubudlelwane.


Abanye abantu abatshatileyo banokuqhekeka ngenxa yokuba omnye okanye bobabini bengathembekanga, okanye kunokubakho ukuhlangana okungalunganga okanye ukungoneliseki ngokubanzi kulwalamano.

Ngaba Ukwahlukana Kunokubangela Ukudakumba?

Njengoko bekuchaziwe ngaphambili, ukwahlukana kunzima. Bangabutshintsha ngokupheleleyo ubomi bakho kwaye bakwenze ube lilolo. Ngelixa usizi emva kokwahlukana kuyinto eqhelekileyo kwaye lunokudlula ngokuhamba kwexesha, ukwahlukana kunokubangela uxinzelelo kwabanye abantu.

Uphononongo lwe-2018 lufumanise ukuba ukwahlukana neqabane lakho kwakudityaniswa nokudakumba. Kwabasetyhini, uxinzelelo lokwahlukana lwalunxulunyaniswa neengxaki zemali eziye zafunyanwa emva kokwahlukana. Kumadoda, uxinzelelo emva kokwahlukana kwaba sisiphumo sokuphulukana nenkxaso yentlalo.

Ngokusekwe kwiziphumo zolu phononongo, kusengqiqweni ukugqiba kwelokuba uxinzelelo kunye notshintsho kubomi oluza nokwahlukana kunokubangela isiqendu soxinzelelo. Kule meko, ukuba lusizi emva koqhawulo-mtshato kunokujika kube kukudakumba kubudlelwane emva komtshato.

Iimpawu zoxinzelelo emva koqhawulo-mtshato


Uxinzelelo lwasemva koqhawulo-mtshato lunokuba phakathi kobunzima ukusuka kumaxesha amafutshane osizi ukuya kuxinzelelo olupheleleyo lweklinikhi.

Kuqhelekile ukuziva iimvakalelo ezinje ngokudabuka, umsindo, kunye noxinzelelo emva kokwahlukana. Okwangoku, ukuba ezi mvakalelo ziyaqhubeka kwaye zikhokelela kusizi olugqithisileyo, unokubonisa iimpawu zoxinzelelo emva koqhawulo-mtshato.

Ngokutsho kweengcali, uphando lubonakalisile ukuba iimvakalelo emva kokwahlukana ziyafana neempawu zoxinzelelo lweklinikhi. Ngamanye amaxesha, ingcali yezonyango okanye isayikholojisti inokuchonga imeko yohlengahlengiso, ngamanye amaxesha ebizwa ngokuba kukudakumba kwimeko, xa umntu ephethwe kukudakumba emva kobudlelwane.

Umzekelo, umntu othi afumane uxinzelelo emva koqhawulo-mtshato unokuhlangabezana nenqobo yohlengahlengiso kwimood yoxinzelelo. Ezinye iimpawu zale meko zezi zilandelayo:

  • Ukufumana amava atshintshayo kunye nokuziphatha kwiinyanga ezintathu zokwahlukana
  • Ukubandezeleka kwiimvakalelo emva kokwahlukana okuphazamisa ubomi bemihla ngemihla
  • Ndiziva ndibuhlungu
  • Ukuntywizisa
  • Ukusilela ukonwabela izinto ezakha zakonwabisa

Ngelixa le miqondiso ingasentla yokudakumba emva koqhawulo-mtshato inxulunyaniswa nengxaki yokulungelelanisa, abanye abantu abaziva bedandathekile emva koqhawulo-mtshato banokuba noxinzelelo lweklinikhi. Iimpawu zoxinzelelo lweklinikhi zibandakanya:

  • Ndiziva ndingenathemba okanye ndingenakuzinceda
  • Utshintsho kumdla wokutya, kunye nokufumana ubunzima okanye ukulahleka
  • Ukulala ngaphezulu okanye ngaphantsi kunesiqhelo
  • Ukungabikho kolonwabo kwimisebenzi yesiqhelo
  • Ndiziva ndikhathazekile okanye ndingaxabisekanga
  • Ukuba namandla amancinci
  • Ukucinga ngokuzibulala

Ukuhlangabezana neekhrayitheriya zoxinzelelo lweklinikhi, kufuneka ubonise ubuncinci iimpawu ezintlanu zoxinzelelo emva koqhawulo-mtshato. Iimpawu kufuneka zenzeke kangangesithuba seeveki ezimbini ubuncinci.

Oku kuthetha ukuba usizi olufutshane oluhlala iintsuku ezimbalwa emva kokuqhawuka ayisiyiyo uxinzelelo lweklinikhi. Kwelinye icala, qhekeza iimpawu zoxinzelelo ezihlala iiveki okanye iinyanga zinokuhlangabezana nenqobo yoxinzelelo lweklinikhi.

Ukuba ukhe wehlelwa nje kukwahlukana kwaye uqaphela naziphi na iimpawu esele zikhankanyiwe ngaphambili, unokuba nolungelelwaniso loxinzelelo okanye uxinzelelo lweklinikhi emva kokwahlukana. Le miqondiso yoxinzelelo emva koqhawulo-hluko inokwenzeka ngokwamanqanaba.

Amanqanaba asixhenxe oxinzelelo emva koqhawulo-mtshato

Ukongeza kwinto yokuba uxinzelelo emva koqhawulo-mtshato lunokufikelela kwinqanaba lempilo yengqondo yengqondo, kukho amanqanaba ahlukeneyo oxinzelelo emva kokwahlukana. Ngokweengcali zengqondo yobudlelwane, la manqanaba ngala alandelayo:

1. Ukufuna iimpendulo

Eli nqanaba libandakanya ukuzama ukuqonda ukuba yintoni engahambanga kakuhle kubudlelwane. Ungajikela kubahlobo kunye nosapho kwaye ubathethelele kubo ukuba kutheni ubudlelwane bungafuneki buphele.

2. Ukukhanyela

Ngeli nqanaba loxinzelelo lokwahlukana, ubeka usizi lwakho ecaleni kwaye uphephe iimvakalelo ezibuhlungu endaweni yokubeka onke amandla akho kwinkolelo yokuba ubudlelwane bunokugcinwa. Awunakuyamkela into yokuba ulwalamano luphelile.

3. Iingxoxo

Inqanaba leengxoxo lenzeka xa umisela ukuba uya kwenza nantoni na efunekayo ukugcina ubudlelwane kunye nokubuyisa iqabane lakho. Ke, uthembisa ukuba liqabane elingcono kwaye ulungise okungahambanga kakuhle.

Ukuxoxisana kukuphazamiseka kwintlungu yoxinzelelo lokwahlukana.

4. Buyela umva

Ngenxa yoxinzelelo lokwahlukana, unokubuyela ngokufutshane kubudlelwane neqabane lakho, ufumanise ukuba ubudlelwane buqhubeka nokusilela.

5. Umsindo

Umsindo ngexesha lokwahlukana koxinzelelo unokujoliswa kuwe okanye kwiqabane lakho langaphambili. Ungazicaphukisa ngenxa yezinto ozenzileyo ezingalunganga kubudlelwane, okanye unokuba nomsindo kwiqabane lakho ngendima yabo ekusileleni kobudlelwane.

Ngokutsho kweengcali, umsindo unokuxhobisa kuba unokukukhuthaza ukuba uqale uqhubeke kwaye ufune ubudlelwane obungcono kwixesha elizayo.

6. Ukwamkelwa kwasekuqaleni

Kule nqanaba loxinzelelo emva kokwahlukana, uqala ukuyamkela into yokuba ubudlelwane buphelile, kodwa oku kwamkelwa kwenzeka kuphela ngenxa yokuba kuyimfuneko kwaye ayisiyiyo kuba ufuna ukuyamkela.

Ngeli xesha kweli nqanaba lokudakumba kobudlelwane emva kokuba uyeke ukuzama ukusindisa ubudlelwane.

7. Ithemba elibuyiselwe kwenye indawo

Kweli nqanaba lokugqibela lokujongana noxinzelelo lokwahlukana, ithemba lakho litshintsha kwinkolelo yokuba ubudlelwane bunokugcinwa ukuze wamkele ukuba likho ikamva ngaphandle kweqabane lakho langaphambili.

Oku kunokudala iimvakalelo zosizi njengoko usiya kumhlaba omtsha ngaphandle kwethemba lokusindisa ubudlelwane, kodwa kunokudala ithemba ngekamva elitsha.

Kwividiyo engezantsi, u-Alan Robarge, ugqirha wezinto ezixhonyiweyo, uxoxa ngendlela ukwahlukana okuchaphazela ngayo ingqondo. Uthi owona mthetho uphambili kuya kufuneka uzityhale ukuze usebenze kwaye ugcine indlela yesiqhelo. Funda nzulu ngezantsi:

Ukoyisa njani ukudakumba emva koqhawulo-mtshato

Ukuba ufumanisa ukuba unengxaki yoxinzelelo lokwahlukana, mhlawumbi uyazibuza ukuba ungajongana njani noxinzelelo emva koqhawulo-mtshato. Ngelixa ezinye iimvakalelo ezingalunganga emva koqhawulo-mtshato ziqhelekile, kukho iingcebiso malunga nendlela yokuyeka ukuba lusizi emva koqhawulo-mtshato.

Iingcali zicebisa ezi ndlela zilandelayo zokujongana nokudakumba kubudlelwane emva kobudlelwane:

  • Zigcine uxakekile

Usenokuziva ulusizi kakhulu ukuba ungabinakho ukuvelisa imveliso, kodwa ukwenza iiprojekthi endlini kunye nokwenza into entsha kunokukuthintela ekuhlaleni iimvakalelo zakho emva kokwahlukana.

  • Qalisa ukubhala ingxelo

Ngokutsho kweengcali, uphononongo lubonisa ukuba ukubhala malunga nendlela oziva ngayo sisicwangciso esisebenzayo sokujongana noxinzelelo lokwahlukana.

  • Fikelele

Ukuchitha ixesha nabahlobo okanye ukuphuhlisa uthungelwano lwentlalo, njengamaqela enkxaso kwi-Intanethi, kunokukunceda woyise uxinzelelo emva koqhawulo-mtshato.

Ukuseka unxibelelwano olomeleleyo nabahlobo okanye nabanye abahlangabezana neemeko ezifanayo kunokukunceda uhlale ubandakanyekile ekuhlaleni njengoko uphulukana nolwalamano oluphambili. Oku kunokwenza kube lula ukujamelana nokudakumba koqhawulo-mtshato.

  • Khumbula ukuzikhathalela

Ukuzikhathalela ngokulala ngokwaneleyo kunye nesondlo esifanelekileyo kunokwenza ukuba kube lula ukujamelana nokudakumba koqhawulo-mtshato. Xa ukhathalela impilo yakho, uya kuziva ungcono, nto leyo iphakamisa imeko yakho.

  • Yenza ixesha lokuzilolonga

Ngokophando, ukuzilolonga kukonyusa imeko yeemvakalelo kunye neyeza lokuthomalalisa uxinzelelo, kwaye kungonyusa imeko yakho yempilo. Ukuvuka kunye nokuhamba kunokuba nakho ukuba sisicwangciso esiliqili esihle sokufumana kwakhona kuxinzelelo lokwahlukana.

Ngokubanzi, ukukhathalela impilo yakho kunye nokufumana amathuba okuzama imisebenzi emitsha kunye nokunxibelelana nabanye abantu ziindlela ezibalulekileyo zokujongana nokudakumba emva kokwahlukana.

Nini Ukufumana Uncedo Lobuchwephesha

Ngelixa zikhona iindlela zendlela yokujongana nokudakumba emva koqhawulo ngokwakho, kwezinye iimeko, ukudakumba kunokuba nzima kwaye kuqhubekeke, kufuna uncedo lobuchwephesha.

Kuqhelekile ukuba ube nexhala emva kokwahlukana, kodwa iimvakalelo zokudakumba ziya kuhlala zincipha ngokuhamba kwexesha, ngakumbi ukuba uyazikhathalela.

Kwelinye icala, lixesha lokuba ufumane uncedo lobuchwephesha xa uqhawulo-mtshato luqhubeka, aluphucuki ngokuhamba kwexesha, kwaye lukhokelela kwiingxaki ezibalulekileyo ekusebenzeni kwemihla ngemihla.

Umzekelo, ukuba ukhathazeke kakhulu kukwahlukana ngokokude ungakwazi ukufeza imisebenzi emsebenzini okanye ukugcina amatyala okanye umsebenzi wasekhaya, uncedo lweengcali luyafuneka.

Ukuba ukudakumba koqhushululu kuyaqhubeka kwaye akuphuculi ixesha elongezelelekileyo ngeendlela zokulwa impilo, unokuba uhlakulele uxinzelelo lweklinikhi okanye ingxaki yokulungelelanisa. Ukuba kunjalo, ukuba lusizi emva kokwahlukana kunokufuna unyango.

Ngokutsho kweengcali, ukuba ngaba uziva ulusizi nje kwiinyanga ezimbalwa emva koqhawulo-mtshato, kuya kufuneka ubonane nogqirha wezengqondo okanye ugqirha wezonyango. Iindidi ezimbini ezithile zonyango ezibizwa ngokuba yinkqubo yokuziphatha kwengqondo kunye nonyango lwangaphakathi luyasebenza ekunyangeni uxinzelelo lokwahlukana.

Umzekelo, unyango lokuziphatha kwengqondo inokukunceda utshintshe iingcinga ezingafunekiyo malunga nokungahambi kakuhle kubudlelwane ukuze ukwazi ukuphuhlisa iindlela zokucinga ezisempilweni.

Ngelixa unyango lodwa lunokusebenza, ngamanye amaxesha, kusenokufuneka ukuba uthathe amayeza ukuze ujongane noxinzelelo lokwahlukana.

Ugqirha wakho okanye ugqirha wezengqondo unokukuthumela kugqirha, onokumisela amayeza okulwa noxinzelelo ukuze unyuse imood yakho kwaye wenze iimpawu ezinje ngokudana, ukuphelelwa ngumdla kwimisebenzi, kunye neemvakalelo zokungancedi zingaphantsi.

Ukuba awuqinisekanga ukuba uyaludinga na uncedo lokwahlukana koxinzelelo, kunokuba luncedo ukuthatha imibuzo ukuze wazi ukuba ingaba unesifo sokudakumba okanye awonwabanga nje kukwahlukana.

Iindlela ezi-5 zokuthintela uxinzelelo emva koqhawulo-mtshato

Ngelixa unyango loxinzelelo lunokuba yimfuneko kwezinye iimeko, kukho iindlela zokuthintela ukudakumba okunzulu okufuna unyango. Nazi iingcebiso ezintlanu zokuthintela iimpawu zoxinzelelo lokwahlukana:

1. Hlala uxhulumene ngokwasekuhlaleni

Unokuhendeka ukuba uhlale ekhaya kwaye ucaphuke xa ujongene nosizi emva kokwahlukana, kodwa kubalulekile ukuhlala unxibelelana nabanye abantu.

Ukuzahlula ngokwasentlalweni kuya kukwenza uzive umbi kakhulu. Yenza imihla yekofu kunye nabahlobo, uye kwimisebenzi yakho yesiqhelo kunye neziganeko, okanye ufikelele kwabanye kwi-Intanethi ukuze ufumane inkxaso.

Ukwakha kunye nokugcina unxibelelwano lwasentlalweni lunokukunceda unxibelelane nabanye abantu kwaye ugcwalise ezinye zezithuba ezithi ziphuhle ekupheleni kobudlelwane bezothando.

2. Zinyamekele

Ingqondo nomzimba zidityanisiwe, ke xa ungazinyamekeli, impilo yakho yengqondo nayo iya kusokola. Ukuthintela ukungena kuxinzelelo emva koqhawulo-mtshato, khumbula ukulandela ukutya okunesondlo, ukulala ngokwaneleyo, kunye nokwenza imikhwa esempilweni.

Kungabonakala kunomtsalane ukuzintyintya ngotywala okanye ukutya okunencasa okanye ukungahoyi impilo yakho xa uziva uthandekile emva koqhawulo-mtshato, kodwa imikhwa emibi iya kukwenza uzive umbi kakhulu kwixesha elide.

3. Gxila kumandla akho

Ukuphulukana nobudlelwane kuthetha utshintsho olukhulu kubomi, njengokuhamba okanye ukuyenza mandundu imeko yakho yezemali. Ukwahlukana kukwathetha ukulahleka kwesazisi sakho kuba uninzi lwethu lubotshelelwe kubudlelwane bethu nomnye obalulekileyo.

Oku kunokukhokelela ekuphulukaneni nokuzithemba kunye nokuziphethe kakubi. Ukuthintela ukuwela kuxinzelelo lokwahlukana, khumbula ukugxila kumandla akho. Umzekelo, beka amandla akho kwiiprojekthi okanye kwiinjongo ezintsha emsebenzini.

Okanye, ukuba unamandla emculweni okanye ukomelela komzimba, unokugxila kukhuphiswano okanye kwiminyhadala apho unokuphumelela khona. Oku kuyakuvumela ukuba uhlakulele isazisi kunye nemvakalelo yokuzithemba ngaphandle kobudlelwane bangaphambili.

4. Yenza ixesha lokuzilolonga

Ukuzivocavoca akuvumeli nje ukuba uzinakekele, kunokunyusa imo yakho kwaye kuthintele uxinzelelo emva koqhawulo-mtshato.

Ngapha koko, ingxelo yophando kwijenali yesayensi Ubungqina beplastiki ibonisa ukuba umthambo yeyona ndlela isebenzayo yokulawula imood. Ayinciphisi kuphela iimvakalelo ezimbi kodwa ikwonyusa imeko entle, kwaye isiphumo sikufutshane kwangoko emva kokuzilolonga.

Ukuya rhoqo kwindawo yokuzivocavoca okanye ukuphuma ubaleke kunokunyusa imeko yakho kwaye kukuthintele ungangeni kuxinzelelo emva koqhawulo-mtshato.

5. Ziqonde iimvakalelo zakho kodwa ungahlali

Kubalulekile ukuba ukhumbule ukuba ukonwaba emva kokwahlukana kuyinto eqhelekileyo. Uhamba notshintsho olukhulu ebomini, kwaye ukwamkela ukuba ukudana kuyinto eqhelekileyo kunokuba luncedo.

Oko kuthethiweyo, kubalulekile ukuba ungahlali ekukhathazekeni kwakho okanye ukuyeke kukutyise. Thatha ixesha lokuqhubekeka neemvakalelo zakho kunye nomhlobo osenyongweni, okanye ubhale ngazo kwijenali, kodwa ke zivumele ukuba ube namaxesha okonwaba nawo.

Ukuthatha indawo: Amanqaku aphambili kuXinzelelo loQhawulo mtshato

Ukuba buhlungu emva koqhawulo-mtshato kuyinto eqhelekileyo, kodwa kwezinye iimeko, kunokuba ludandatheko lokwahlukana. Kukho izicwangciso zokujongana nosizi emva kokwahlukana, njengokuziqeqesha, ukuthatha ixesha lokuzilolonga, kunye nokufikelela kwabanye ngenkxaso.

Sebenzisa ezi ndlela, ukubeka iinjongo, kunye nokuthatha imisebenzi emitsha kunokuthintela ukudakumba okunzulu koqhawulo-mtshato. Ngamanye amaxesha, nokuba usebenzisa ezi ndlela zokujongana nokudakumba emva koqhawulo-mtshato, usizi lwakho lungaqhubeka.

Xa ukwahlukana koxinzelelo kungangcoli ngokuhamba kwexesha, kuthintela amandla akho okusebenza kubomi bemihla ngemihla, kwaye kuza neempawu ezinje ngokudinwa kakhulu, ukuphelelwa ngumdla kwimisebenzi, kunye neengcinga zokuphelelwa lithemba okanye ukuzibulala, mhlawumbi lixesha lokufuna uncedo yengcali.

Ingcali yezempilo yengqondo inokubonelela ngonyango ukukunceda ufunde ukoyisa uxinzelelo emva koqhawulo-mtshato. Ugqirha unokukwazi ukukuyalela amayeza ukonyusa imeko yakho. Ukuba ucinga ukuba unokuba noxinzelelo lweklinikhi emva kokwahlukana, kubalulekile ukufikelela kuncedo lweengcali.