Umxholo
- Izizathu ezibangela ubudlelwane obunzima
- Buyintoni ubudlelwane obunzima?
- Izizathu zobudlelwane obunzima
- Inkampani yababini; isihlwele.
- Ukudideka
- Imiba yonxibelelwano
- Ukukhula kohlukana
- Umona
- Amagama angenanto
- Iindlela ezili-10 zokulawula ubudlelwane obunzima
- 1. Chonga ingxaki
- 2. Nxibelelana
- 3. Phinda uyifumane into eqale yakutsala
- 4. Yenza iimfuno ezifanelekileyo
- 5. Thatha uxanduva
- 6. Yoyisa ukuxhomekeka kwikhowudi
- 7. Funa inkxaso kubantu obathandayo
- 8. Thatha ixesha lokuphuma
- 9. Susa imiqobo kulwalamano lwakho
- 10. Luthando oludingayo
- Ukuhlala okanye ukunghlali
- Yenza okugqibelele
- Fumana uncedo
- Yamkela ukoyiswa
- Isiphelo
Bonke ubudlelwane bunamahla ndinyuka abo. Kodwa ngamanye amaxesha, nangaphambi kokuba uyazi, ubudlelwane buyehla, kwaye unokuzibona kufuneka ulawule ubudlelwane obunzima.
Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, asizizo izidalwa ezilula. Njengabantu ngabanye, abantu banamandla kwaye bayatshintsha. Yiyo le nto isenza sibe nomdla kwaye isikhokelele ekubeni sinomdla kwabanye.
Kodwa, kubalulekile ukuzikhumbuza ukuba, ngaphandle kwe-idiosyncrasies eyahlukileyo, siyintoni.
Izizathu ezibangela ubudlelwane obunzima
Iimpawu ezinomdla zezona zinto zenza ubudlelwane bube nzima. Njengabantu abantsokothileyo, ngaphandle kwamathandabuzo, ukunxibelelana nabanye kuya kuba nzima ngamanye amaxesha kulo naluphi na ulwalamano.
Njengokuba ubudlelwane buqhubela phambili, iimvakalelo phakathi kwamaqabane ziya kuhlala zitshintsha. Kuqhelekile ukuziva ngokwahlukileyo malunga neqabane njengoko ulwalamano lukhula. Kuqhelekile ukuthandana nothando njengoko kunjalo ngokuthandana nomnye umntu.
Imiqondiso exubileyo zizinto ezididayo kubo nabuphi na ubudlelwane obuntsonkothileyo. Xa kubudlelwane, kuye kunyanzeleke ukuba uqwalasele ingaba ufuna ukutshintsha iqabane lakho nokuba ukulungele ukutshintsha ubuqabane.
Ngaba kufanelekile ukulindela utshintsho oluya kulungela iqabane kunye / okanye ubudlelwane?
Ukuzibophelela yenye ingongoma yempikiswano. Umntu unokuqiniseka ngokusilela kokuzibophelela kuba ubungqina abukho nje kwipudding.
Xa kukho uthando, kodwa lungabonakaliswa ngendlela efanayo ngamaqela aphazamisayo, ingxaki inokuthi ivelise intloko.
Buyintoni ubudlelwane obunzima?
Ewe, beka ngokulula - inzima. Masivume ukuba, uthando kunye neemvakalelo phakathi kwesibini kunqabile ukuba kube lula.
Nawuphi na umsebenzisi wamaqonga amajelo onxibelelwano uya kuyibona imeko yobudlelwane enzima kuFacebook.
Wakhe wacinga ukuba kuthetha ntoni oko? Yintoni intsingiselo enzima kubudlelwane?
Xa ubudlelwane buba nenkungu, kwaye abathathi-nxaxheba belahlekelwa kukucaca, kunokucingelwa ngokukhuselekileyo ukuba kuye kwanzima. Izizathu zala manzi anodaka zininzi kwaye zahlukile, kwaye kufanelekile ukuchukumisa kwezona zixhaphakileyo.
Izizathu zobudlelwane obunzima
Nazi ezi zidwelisiweyo zezinye zezizathu zokuba ubudlelwane bufumana imeko 'enzima'. Ukwazi ezi zizathu kunokukunceda ukuba uqonde iimpazamo ubudlelwane obuqhelekileyo kwaye ugcine ubudlelwane bakho.
Kuqhelekile ukuva izibini zivuma, "Ubudlelwane bethu bunzima xa kucetyiswa izibini kuba baninzi ngaphezu kwethu sobabini."
Ngaphezulu nje kwabantu ababini kubudlelwane bababini abaya kudaka amanzi. Umntu onefuthe unokuba ngumzali, umdla wothando, umntu otyumkileyo, okanye umntu wakudala.
Abantu bawela ngapha nangapha luthando. Oku akuqhelekanga. Iqhinga kuku qhubeka usebenza kubudlelwane ukuba ibalulekile kuwe.
Kuhlala kufunwa umntu kubudlelwane obuzinikeleyo ukwenza iinzame ezihlanganisiweyo zokungazinikeli ekuthandaneni nomntu okhuthaza umtsalane ongenakuphikwa.
Ewe, kuthatha ezimbini ukuya kwi-tango, kwaye oku akukaze kubaluleke ngakumbi kunokwabelana ngothando. Ngokuqinisekileyo akwanele ukuba ubudlelwane bubaluleke kwisiqingatha esinye se-equation. Omabini la maqela kufuneka abe ngaphezulu okanye ngaphantsi utyalomali ngokulinganayo ekwenzeni ukuhamba kwayo.
Ukudideka yeyona nto iphambili xa ubuza ukuba kutheni ubudlelwane bunzima kangaka. Kuyavunywa, izizathu zokungena ngaphakathi nangaphandle kothando zihlala ziyimfihlakalo edidayo, mhlawumbi emiselwe ukuba ingasonjululwa ngokwanelisayo.
Uthando kunye nobudlelwane buyabhidisa kuba asinakuze sazi umbono womnye umntu kubunzima bawo.
Ngelixa uzulazula kule nto, utshintsho kwisafobe esifezekisayo luyakuphika. Kuyadida xa ujongene nokufezekiswa: ubudlelwane bam bunzima.
Ngequbuliso kuyacaca ukuba into ibuchaphazele ngokuqinisekileyo ubomi bakho bothando, kodwa oku kuqonda kukhokelela kudideko.
Utshintsho lulungile, kuyatshiwo, kodwa utshintsho kunxibelelwano, uthethathethwano, kunye nothando lunokuphazamisa, ngakumbi xa ungaboni ngamehlo kukuqonda.
Yilungise nge ukucoca inkungu yesiphithiphithi. Buyela umva kwaye ujonge utshintsho ukusuka kwindawo engafakwanga yimvakalelo.
Ingcebiso yobudlelwane obunzima kakhulu kufuneka ibe ngokulula thetha bodwa.
Iqabane eliqhelekileyo okanye igadi eyahlukileyo ayingomfundi wezengqondo. Ngaphandle konxibelelwano, akunakwenzeka ukuba wazi ukuba omnye ucinga ntoni okanye uziva njani.
Thetha ngentlonipho nangendlela efanelekileyo. Izityholo, amazwi aphakanyisiweyo, kunye nokugxeka kunqabile ukuhambisa amanzi okanye ukuzolisa isaqhwithi.
Kuqhelekile ukuba iingxoxo zibe shushu. Cinga ukuba iintetho zakho zithethwe ukuba ufumanisa ukuba iingxoxo zakho ziwela kule ndawo eqhelekileyo.
Abantu bayahlukana. Oku kukuqhubela phambili kwendalo. Kubudlelwane bexesha elide, umntu owathandana naye unokugqibela ngokufana kakhulu nomntu erhona phambi komabonwakude ngokuhlwa kwangoMgqibelo.
Zikhule kunye. Akukho mfuneko yokuba isibini senze ukukhula ngokwahlukana kodwa ukugcina ubudlelwane bothando kufuna ukubeka umzamo.
Umona yimvakalelo eyonakalisayo oko kunganciphisa ubudlelwane obonwabileyo, yonakalisa ukuthembana, kwaye ukhuthaze iimvakalelo zokugatywa kunye noloyiko. Le iba yindawo yokuzala evundileyo yomsindo kunye noxinzelelo apho ukungazithembi kunye nokusola kukhula khona.
Ukuba ukhe wakhathazeka iimvakalelo ezingenangqondo ngequbuliso ugqabhuke ube yintyatyambo epheleleyo, unokuba semngciphekweni wokuncama ubudlelwane bakho obusempilweni kule mpazamo.
Kuyaphazamisa ngokumangalisayo ukuba liqabane elamkelayo kubudlelwane obuzele ngumona. Ukuziva uxinekile kwaye ulawulwa kuya kubangela ingqumbo kwaye kubangele imeko eyoyikisayo ukwahlulwa kunye nokungaqiniseki.
Ikhwele elingenangqondo linokuqwalaselwa, nangona kunjalo; ungaze woyike! Jonga ubunyani besikhundla sakho kubudlelwane. Umona uhlala ungagunyaziswanga kulwalamano lwangoku kwaye uhlala u ukulahla imiba engasonjululwanga evelaubudlelwane obudlulileyo.
Thetha neqabane lakho kunye nedilesi enokubangela iingxaki ezikhoyo ukuzibophelela, unxibelelwano, okanye ukuthembana.
Rhoqo, izifundo ezifundiweyo kubambiswano lwangaphambili kunye nezikrelemnqa ebezihlupheke ngaphambili ziye zirhuqwe ngokungafanelekanga nangalunganga kulwalamano olutsha nolungalindelekanga.
Akukho mntu ufuna ubunzima obungafunekiyo obunokusombululwa ngokulula.
Izenzo sithetha ngaphezulu kunamazwi. Ukuba iqabane livile ukuba "ndiyakuthanda" kodwa aluboni uthando, ingxaki iya kulandela kungekudala.
Ke, amagama angenanto kufuneka athintelwe, kwaye kufuneka uhambe ngentetho ukuze ube nolwalamano olwanelisayo.
Iindlela ezili-10 zokulawula ubudlelwane obunzima
Ukuba ungangena kubudlelwane beqhina, unokufumana indlela yokuphuma kwakhona kwaye ugcine ubudlelwane bakho.
Nalu uluhlu lweengcebiso ezilishumi zokulawula ubudlelwane bakho kwaye ububuyisele emgceni.
1. Chonga ingxaki
Ukulawula ubudlelwane obuntsonkothileyo, qala ngokujongana nayo.
Inokubakho imiba engaphezulu kwesinye yokuba uyicime. Bhala phantsi. Unokufumanisa ukuba yingxaki. Nokuba zithini na iingxaki, kuya kufuneka uzimisele ukuthatha ubunini kwaye uzisombulule njengesibini.
Xa uyazi ukuba yintoni, oko kuthintela ubudlelwane, buhlukanise, bujongane nayo, kwaye uyisombulule ukuba kunokwenzeka.
Imiba ecacileyo izibini ezichonga kubudlelwane obunzima zibandakanya indlela yokuziphatha okanye isimo sengqondo, ukuthanda umgama omde, ukuzibophelela kunye nokuthembana.
2. Nxibelelana
Ukungaqondani kakuhle banegalelo eliphambili kubudlelwane obunzima.
Qiniseka ukuba uthetha ngeengxaki ukuze wena neqabane lakho nibe kwiphepha elinye. Akukho mntu unokulungisa into angayaziyo, ngelixa elinye elijonga ukuba yaphukile.
Thetha phezulu, ngokuvakalayo nangokucacileyo, nangaluphi na ukungonwabi ojamelana nalo olubalulekileyo. Ninokubangcono nobabini kuphela ukuba niyazi ngcono.
Ukuba nobabini niyabuxabisa ubudlelwane, ngekhe kubekho miqobo ekulungiseni nantoni na eyaphukileyo ukuyenza ibengcono.
3. Phinda uyifumane into eqale yakutsala
Kukhunjulwa ukuba kungani nahlangana ukubuyela umva nini eya kukunceda ubone iimpawu ezintle komnye nomnye ezitsalile kuqala.
Ukuba awukwazi ukubuyela kumtsalane osisiseko, kuya kufuneka uthathe isigqibo sokuba ngaba unesizathu esaneleyo sokuhlala kunye.
4. Yenza iimfuno ezifanelekileyo
Ukuba awonelisekanga, thetha ngaphandle kwaye wazise iqabane lakho Ingaba ufuna ntoni nendlela onokukwenza ngayo ukwaneliseka kunye.
Kodwa, qiniseka ukuba wenza iimfuno ezifanelekileyo. Kungelo xesha kuphela onokuthi wenze ukuba ubudlelwane bakho bube nzima kunokuba bunjalo ngoku.
5. Thatha uxanduva
Kuya kufuneka ulungele uku Yamkela ukuba ungangunobangela ubudlelwane bakho bunzima.
Ukunyaniseka kubalulekile xa ujonga ubudlelwane beziphene. Ukuba ungumqobo kwimpumelelo yayo, kufuneka unyuke kwaye yeyakho eyakho ukuyenza nzima.
Oku akusoloko kulula. Nje ukuba uchonge iimeko zakutshanje zenkxalabo phakathi kwakho nomntu omthandayo, zibuze le mibuzo:
- Ngaba unika ingqalelo eyoneleyo xa uxoxa ngeemvakalelo neenkxalabo zeqabane lakho?
- Ngaba uyalixhasa iqabane lakho kangangoko unakho?
-Ugxile kakhulu kwiingxaki zakho okanye kukungazithembi kuneqabane lakho?
6. Yoyisa ukuxhomekeka kwikhowudi
Ulwalamano olungabotshwanga ngedyokhwe ngokulinganayo luya kukhawuleza lube nzima. Nangona isilayidi esiyingxaki sihamba kancinci, isenzo kufuneka sikhawuleze.
Iqabane elinye ukutyala imali ngakumbi kubudlelwane kunokuba enye iya kukhokelela kwintlekele.
Amathuba kukuba awuyi kuqaphela xa iqabane lakho liswela kakhulu, lingonwabanga, okanye ukuba nichitha ixesha elininzi kunye kunokuba sempilweni. Umqondiso wokuqala unokuba kukuziphatha okungaphezulu kokulawula, umona kunye neengxabano.
7. Funa inkxaso kubantu obathandayo
Yazisa abo bakufutshane nabathandekayo kuwe malunga neengxaki zakho ukuba uqinisekile ukuba uya kuzifumana inkxaso ukususa nayiphi na imiqobo ukuphucula ubudlelwane bakho. Khetha abantu obaxelela izinto eziza kukunika imbono eluncedo kunye neengcebiso ezingakhethi cala.
Inkqubo elungileyo yenkxaso iya kuthi khuthaza unxibelelwano olusempilweni phakathi kwakho neqabane lakho.
8. Thatha ixesha lokuphuma
Ukungabikho ayenzi kuphela ukuba intliziyo ikhule kamnandi, kodwa ikwakhona icacisa umbono wakho yobudlelwane obunzima.
Yenza ixesha kude ngokwaneleyo ukuba baphose omnye komnye kwaye unike ixesha lokubona ubudlelwane obuvela ngaphandle ngaphandle kwempembelelo engafanelekanga.
9. Susa imiqobo kulwalamano lwakho
Sebenza nento onayo. Ukuba ungasebenza ujikeleze okanye ususe imiqobo kubudlelwane obungcono, ke qhubeka uyenze ngoku.
Oku kunokuba kukuphazamisa abazali okanye amalungu osapho, imiba yomsebenzi, iingxaki zexesha, okanye isigqibo sokuqala usapho.
10. Luthando oludingayo
Ungaze ulibale ukuba ubudlelwane budinga ukondliwa kunye nokondliwa. Kodwa kanjani?
Ngu ukuthandana usuku nosuku!
Ukuthandana, ngakumbi xa sithandana, akukho lula. Akwanelanga ukuthi nje ndiyakuthanda; kuya kufuneka uyibonise.
Ukuhlala okanye ukunghlali
Ngoku ukuba uphendule eyakho ingxelo yokuba yintoni intsingiselo enzima kubudlelwane thatha inyathelo elilandelayo.
Nguwe kuphela onokuthatha isigqibo sokuba ubudlelwane obunzima bunokuhlangulwa okanye hayi. Ayizizo zonke ubudlelwane bufanele ukusindiswa. Abantu bayathandana kuzo zonke izizathu ezingalunganga ngalo lonke ixesha.
Ayisiyiyo nayiphi na into engaphantsi kwe Umceli mngeni wokuhamba kwiimvakalelo eziphakamileyo kunye nezisezantsi yolwalamano oluntsonkothileyo.
Kodwa ukuba ukule ngxaki, unokufumana impumelelo kwelinye icala. Ukuba ukhetha ukuhlala kunokuba uhambe, unokuba kwindawo elungileyo.
Xoxa ngolwalamano lwakho kwi unyango. Unokufuna ukubonisana neengcali kunokuba uxoxe ngobuhlobo kuphela kunye nezinye ezibalulekileyo.
Akufuneki ube neentloni okanye ucinge ukuba usilele kwiqabane lakho ukuba ucinga ukuba le yeyona ndlela ingcono yokufumanisa izinto.
Kuthatha isibindi ukuthetha ngeengxaki zakho zobudlelwane kunye jongana neemvakalelo zakho. Iingcebiso ngesibini iyanceda ukuza kwimibandela neyantlukwano kubudlelwane mhlawumbi obungazi ukuba ikho.
Ukuthetha nengcali kuyakuxhamla ubudlelwane obunzima ngoku ukuxhobisa omabini amaqabane nokukhuthaza izigqibo ezinolwazi oko kuya kuba yinzuzo kuye wonke umntu obandakanyekayo. Ukuba uthathe isigqibo sokushiya kunokuhlala, unyango luya kuhamba indlela ende ekuncedeni kwintlungu yolwalamano olungaphumelelanga.
Iya kuba yimpazamo ukuhlala kubudlelwane obuyinkimbinkimbi ngethemba lokuba iyakuzihlela ngokumangalisayo. Rhoqo into ekucingelwa ukuba luthando lokwenene ingqina ukuba yinto engekhoyo, yothando oluthandekayo: intelekelelo okanye ingxelo yentsomi.
Abantu bayakhula omnye komnye, kwaye oku ayisosiphoso ukwahlulahlula. Yinyani yobomi kunye nenxalenye yokukhula. Akukho mntu unokuziva enyanzelekile ukuba ahlale kubudlelwane obunzima okanye obunzima ngenxa yezizathu ezingalunganga.
Oko akutsho ukuba uthando lokwenene alufanelekanga umzamo ukuba ngaba ngokwenene uye waba nethamsanqa ngokwaneleyo ukuba ufumane. Ukuba omabini amaqabane athembisa ukuyenza isebenze, ubudlelwane obuntsonkothileyo bunokujikwa ngokufanelekileyo bube bubudlelwane obuzinikeleyo.
Into ehlala iqinile kulo naluphi na ulwalamano olunamaqhina yimfuneko yokuqonda. Chonga into engalunganga kwaye uqonde ukuba ungayisingatha njani.
Ungaze uphulukane noburharha. Ukuba ungafunda ukuyiyeka ihambe, wonwabele omnye nomnye, ukonwabele okuhle, kwaye uziqengqe ngokungalunganga, usecaleni lokuba ungaze ulawule ubudlelwane obuntsonkothileyo konke konke.
Isiphelo
Ngoku uyazi ukuba yintoni kanye kanye ubudlelwane obuntsonkothileyo kunye nayo yonke imiceli mngeni ebandakanya yona. Ngenisa ukuba ngaba unephutha kwaye unegalelo kubunzima bobudlelwane bakho.
Kuya kufuneka uzimisele ukwenza utshintsho olufanelekileyo kwisimo sakho sengqondo ukuba unqwenela ukugcina ubudlelwane bakho. Ubudlelwane ngumsebenzi onzima, kwaye akufuneki ube neentloni zokwenza isuntswana lakho.
Kwangelo xesha, ukuba wenze okwaneleyo kubudlelwane, kwaye ukuba akukho nto itshintshileyo kubudlelwane bakho nangona ufuna uncedo lweengcali, kuya kufuneka uthathe umnxeba onzima.
Ukusinda kubudlelwane obunetyhefu ixesha elide kunokuba nefuthe elibi kwimpilo yakho yasemzimbeni nasengqondweni ekuhambeni kwexesha.
Ekugqibeleni, kuya kufuneka uthathe isigqibo sokuba ingaba ubudlelwane bakho bunako ukuhlangulwa. Umnqweno omhle!
Ukufunda okuhambelana: Iindlela ezi-7 zokuLungisa ubudlelwane obuNobungozi