Umxholo
- Yintoni iziyobisi?
- Ngaba iziyobisi zibuchaphazela njani ubudlelwane bakho?
- Iziphumo zokulutha iziyobisi kulwalamano olusenyongweni
- Ubundlobongela kunye nokuxhatshazwa kuvela kubudlelwane bokulutha iziyobisi
- Ukusetyenziswa kweziyobisi kweempawu kuyalonakalisa ulwalamano
- Iziyobisi kunye nokuxhomekeka kweCoder kulwalamano
- Ukwenza isimilo sokuziphatha gwenxa kweziyobisi kubudlelwane
- Imingcipheko emibi yokuxhomekeka kwikhowudi kunye nokuziphatha okuqinisekileyo
- Amanyathelo ama-5 okusebenza kubudlelwane obuchatshazelwe sisiyobisi
- 1. Yamkela uze ucwangcise kusengaphambili
- 2. Fumana uncedo olufanelekileyo
- 3. Yenza kwaye wabelane ngamava amnandi
- 4. Zirhangqele ngenkxaso
- 5. Zihoye
- Ngaba bonke ubudlelwane obuchaphazelekayo ngokusebenzisa iziyobisi bunokulungiswa?
- Isiphelo
Kubudlelwane, xa elinye lamaqabane lisokola ukuba likhoboka leziyobisi, isidingo samachiza sinokuba yeyona nto iphambili ngaphezulu kwayo yonke into, kubandakanya uthando.
Iziphumo zokusetyenziswa gwenxa kweziyobisi zinokubeka ezona zibophelelayo kuvavanyo ngemizabalazo yezemali, iingxaki zonxibelelwano, kunye nemicimbi yokuthembana.
Ukuba uyazibuza ukuba ingaba iziyobisi zibuchaphazela njani ubudlelwane hlala ufunda ukuze uqonde iimpawu zokuqala zamakhoboka eziyobisi, iziphumo ezinokubakho, kunye nendlela yokoyisa.
Yintoni iziyobisi?
Phambi kokuba siqhubele phambili nakwimpembelelo yokuba likhoboka leziyobisi kunye nendlela iziyobisi ezibuchaphazela ngayo ubudlelwane, masichaze ukuba yeyiphi into yokusebenzisa iziyobisi kuqala.
Ukuphazamiseka kokusetyenziswa kweziyobisi, okwaziwa njengesiyobisi, kubhekisa kwimeko entsonkothileyo echaphazela ingqondo nokuziphatha komntu, okwenza ukuba bangakwazi ukuxhathisa ukusebenzisa izinto ezahlukeneyo.
Ngaba iziyobisi zibuchaphazela njani ubudlelwane bakho?
Ukuba nobudlelwane nomlutha okanye ukuba likhoboka lakho ngokwakho kunokuba neziphumo ezimfutshane kunye nezexesha elide. Enye yezinto ezihlupheka kakhulu ubudlelwane.
Umnqweno ubekwa phambili kuyo yonke into ngaphandle kokulimaza oko kubangela impilo yakho kunye nobomi babathandekayo babo.
Ikwenza njani oko?
Ukusetyenziswa gwenxa kweziyobisi kubangela ukonwaba kwe-neurotransmitters ezinje nge-dopamine kwingqondo. Enye yeendlela indlela iziyobisi ezibuchaphazela ngayo ubudlelwane kukugqitha iindlela ezijolise ekuvuzeni isimilo sabantu.
Ngokwesiqhelo, i-dopamine iyakhutshwa xa siziphatha ngendlela efanelekileyo yokuphila (umzekelo, ukukhathalela abanye abantu). Ukusetyenziswa gwenxa kweziyobisi kukhukulisa ii-neurotransmitters nge-dopamine ezenza ukuba zifumaneke kancinci ekuthathweni nasekufunxweni.
Ke ngoko, amakhoboka anokuxhomekeka kwiziyobisi kwi-dopamine hit endaweni yokuyifumana njengesiphumo sokudibanisa kunye nokukhathalela kubudlelwane.
Ukuthanda umntu onomlutha kunokuba yinto yokuziva uxhalabile ngokweemvakalelo. Ukufunda indlela yokujongana nendoda okanye umfazi olikhoboka leziyobisi kunokuba buhlungu kwaye kube buhlungu ngenxa yokuba ungasaziva uyinto ephambili ebomini babo.
Iziphumo zeemvakalelo zokusebenzisa gwenxa iziyobisi zibandakanya ukungahoyi iqabane lakho, iimfuno zabo kunye nokuzihlukanisa nabantu. Ixesha elingaphezulu, ukugcinwa kwemfihlo kunye nokungathembani kuyanda ngelixa unxibelelwano kunye nokusondelelana kusonakala.
Ukuthembana yinto ebalulekileyo kubudlelwane obusempilweni. Xa iqala ukubola, kulindeleke ukuba okufanayo kwenzeke nakwibhondi kunye nolwalamano lwakho.
Xa udibanisa iziyobisi kunye nobudlelwane, ufumana isiphumo esibi kakhulu - ubundlobongela kunye nokuxhatshazwa.
Ukusetyenziswa gwenxa kweziyobisi kukhokelela ekubeni umntu enze ukhetho ebengenakuba nalo. Isidingo sokufumana idosi yabo elandelayo iba yinkxalabo yabo yokuqala. Oku kunokuba nemiphumo emibi.
Banokusebenzisa imali eyabelwe usapho lwabo okanye izinto ezisetyenziswayo ukuze bafumane iziyobisi. Ukuba abanakho ukufumana idosi elandelayo, banokukhathazeka, baphazamiseke, kwaye babe nogonyamelo.
Ukuzama ukuyeka kunokukhokelela kwiimvakalelo zokungancedi, umsindo kunye nokuphazamiseka. Ukuziphatha kweziyobisi kunokuba yinto engalindelekanga, kwaye zinokucaphuka ngokulula. Oku kungakhokelela ekubeni lixhoba lamalungu osapho.
Ukusetyenziswa kweziyobisi kweempawu kuyalonakalisa ulwalamano
Kukho imiqondiso ebalulekileyo yokusetyenziswa kweziyobisi kunye nomonakalo wobudlelwane ekufuneka uziqhelanise nawo. Ukuba uyawaqonda amakhoboka eziyobisi kwangexesha, kunye neempawu zokuqala zokuwohloka kobudlelwane, ungasabela ngokukhawuleza.
Ukukhawuleza impendulo, kokukhona kuphakama amathuba okubuyela kwimeko yesiqhelo kunye nokunciphisa ingozi kubudlelwane.
Eminye yemiqondiso yokuba iziyobisi sele ziyenzakalisa ubudlelwane zibandakanya:
- Ukuthembana kuyanyamalala, kwaye iimfihlo ziyaqhubeka
- Uxinzelelo kunye nokungonwabi kuyakufikelela ekusebenzisaneni kwemihla ngemihla
- Ukuncitshiswa kobudlelwane kunye nothando
- I-libido ephantsi okanye engekhoyo
- Iingxaki zesini kwigumbi lokulala
- Ukucaphuka kunye nokudana ngokulula.
- Ukwanda kweemvakalelo zenzondo kunye nosizi
- Ndiziva ndingenakuzinceda kwaye ndinexhala
- Ukwabiwa okungalinganiyo koxanduva phakathi komlutha kunye neqabane elingalikhoboka
- Ukwenza izizathu zomlutha njengekhaka kwintloni, usizi kunye nokuziva unetyala
- Ukurhoxa kunye nokuzahlula usapho olusondeleyo kunye nabahlobo ukufihla ingxaki
Iziyobisi kunye nokuxhomekeka kweCoder kulwalamano
Xa sithetha ngendlela iziyobisi ezibuchaphazela ngayo ubudlelwane, ngaphandle kwendlela yokuziphatha yesiqhelo kubudlelwane, kufuneka sinike ingqalelo ekwenziweni kokuziphatha kubudlelwane kunye nendlela ezikhokelela ekuxhomekekeni.
Ngaphandle kokomeleza iziyobisi, ukuxhomekeka kwikhowudi kunenye imithwalo yomzimba kunye neemvakalelo kuye wonke umntu, ezinje ngempilo enkenenkene, ukungakhathalelwa, kunye nokungahoyi uxanduva.
Iziyobisi zibangela umlutha, kodwa abantu bayazigcina. Umlutha ufuna indlela ecwangcisiweyo kuba ukuqiniswa kunye neziphumo zokusetyenziswa kweziyobisi azikhawulelwanga kumlutha.
Abantu banokuthi ngokungazi baqinise isimilo somlutha ngenxa yezizathu ezininzi.
Isenokuba lusapho olufuna ukunceda umntu olikhoboka ngokuthatha uxanduva lwabo ukwenza lula umthwalo wabo. Nangona kunjalo, ngokwenza njalo, bathabatha kumlutha ithuba lokuziva bonwabile ngokwenza into eluncedo kunye negalelo kusapho.
Ke ngoko, nangona isuka kukhathalelo okanye ixhala, usapho lunegalelo kubudlelwane obuxhomekeke ekuvumeleni umlutha ukuba aqhubeke nokuziphatha kwabo.
Xa udibanisa umlutha kunye nobudlelwane, ufumana imeko apho ingaqhelekanga kumaqabane angamakhoboka ukwenza ingxaki yokulutha. Ukuba ufuna ukuqonda ukuxhomekeka kwekhowudi kunye nokulutha, kuya kufuneka ujonge ukuba kutheni abantu besebenzisa iziyobisi kunye nokuba bobabini abatshati banegalelo njani kumjikelo wokuxhomekeka.
Xa ingxaki yeziyobisi yamkelwe kwaye ityhilwe, kunokuba nzima ukusongela ingqondo yakho kuyo. Ukwazi umntu omthandayo ulikhoboka lezinto kunokuba ngumothuko, kwaye ufuna ixesha lokuyicombulula.
Ekuqaleni, enye yeendlela indlela iziyobisi ezichaphazela ngayo ubudlelwane kukuba omabini amaqabane anciphise ingxaki. Iqabane elingelilo ikhoboka linokuzama ukugcina iiglasi ze-rose ukugcina indlela elibona ngayo umhlaba, iqabane labo kunye nabo.
Ungajongani nengxaki, ngelishwa, yenza iqabane likhoboka.
Ngapha koko, ukunciphisa amandla okubanjwa kweziyobisi kuluncedo akuncedi kwaye kulibazise ukufuna uncedo.
Ngapha koko, umlutha unokusebenza nezinye iinjongo, zona ziqinisa ingxaki. Umzekelo, xa ephantsi kwempembelelo yento leyo, umntu angangqinelana, akhathalele, okanye akwazi ukuthetha ngeengxaki ngendlela angakwaziyo ngayo xa ephilile.
Izifundo ziye zafumanisa ukuba abafazi abangamakhoboka bafumana amanqaku aphezulu kwizinga lokuxhomekeka kunabafazi babantu abangamakhoboka. Enye yeendlela abajongana ngayo nendima yokuba ngumfazi wekhoboka kukwamkela imisebenzi kunye noxanduva lokukhathalela amaqabane abo.
Le ndima, inokubanika imvakalelo yokulawula kunye nokuzithemba. Ezi zibonelelo zesekondari ezinokubakho zinokukhokelela ekuziphatheni okuhle kubudlelwane kunye nokugcina umjikelo wokulutha uqhubeka.
Iziyobisi zomlingane wakho zinokubeka emngciphekweni indlela obubona ngayo ubudlelwane kunye nokushukumisa umhlaba wakho.
Akumangalisi ukuba unokufikelela kwiindlela zokuzikhusela njengokunciphisa kunye nokukhanyela ingxaki. Nangona kunjalo, okukhona usenza le nto, kokukhona uyamisa ukujongana nengxaki. Ukwenza oko kungakhokelela ku:
- Ukugcina kunye nokomeleza isiyobisi
- Ukugxila kakhulu kwiqabane elinomlutha, kuncinci kakhulu kwabangengomakhoboka
- Ukuyekelela kwiimfuno zakho, iimfuno kunye neminqweno
- Ukuzahlula kunye neemvakalelo zokuziva ulilolo kunye nokuphelelwa lithemba
- Ukuzithemba okuphantsi kunye nokuziva unetyala
- Ukuphulukana nethemba kunye nokubuyiswa kwethemba kunokwenzeka
- Ukuzikhupha ngokwakho kunye nokuncama ubudlelwane
Zama kwakhona:Nini ukuNika uKhuphiswano lobuhlobo
Amanyathelo ama-5 okusebenza kubudlelwane obuchatshazelwe sisiyobisi
Xa uqaphela iimpawu zokusetyenziswa kweziyobisi kwiqabane, uthintela njani kwaye ulungisa umonakalo obangela ulwalamano? Ngawaphi amanyathelo onokuwathatha kunye nokuba nolwalamano njani nomlutha?
1. Yamkela uze ucwangcise kusengaphambili
Akukho mpendulo inye kwindlela yokujongana nomlutha, kodwa uhambo luqala ngenyathelo elinye- ukuqonda ukuba kukho ingxaki.
Nje ukuba uyenze loo nto, ungacwangcisa ngobuchule kwaye ujonge ezona ndlela zingcono zokujongana nesiyobisi kunye nokugcina ubudlelwane bakho.
Sukuhlehlisa ukujongana nengxaki njengoko uxinzelelo luza kuphela.
2. Fumana uncedo olufanelekileyo
Zininzi iingcali ezinokunceda, kodwa kuya kufuneka ujonge ekufumaneni abo banamava ngeengxaki zokulutha.
Rhoqo ukudityaniswa komntu kunye nomsebenzi weqela yeyona nto ilungileyo. Unyango lunokunceda umntu ukuba afunde izakhono ezinxulumene nokuthintela uxinzelelo, ukunyamezelana, kunye nokusombulula.
Oku kubaluleke ngakumbi njengoko kubonakala ngathi uxinzelelo kunye neendlela ezingasebenziyo zokulwa imeko zinokudlala indima ebalulekileyo ekulutha nasekubuyeleni kwakhona.
Ngokufanelekileyo, kuyakubakho ukubakho kweengcebiso kwisibini okanye kusapho. Inkqubo yenkqubo inokunceda ukuqonda kunye nokujongana nemiceli mngeni ejikeleze umlutha njengoko inokuqiniswa ngokungazi ngamanye amalungu osapho.
Ngapha koko, ukuya kunyango kunye kuya kubonelela ngendawo ekhuselekileyo yokusebenza kubudlelwane kunye nokuphucula unxibelelwano kunye nokusondelelana.
3. Yenza kwaye wabelane ngamava amnandi
Xa kugxilwe ekusombululeni ingxaki, ubudlelwane bunokuma (ngeyona ndlela). Kuya kufuneka unike ingqalelo ekugcwaliseni iqula olithabathayo.
Yeyiphi imisebenzi eniyithandayo eninceda ukuba niqhubeke nokubonana ngokukhanya okuhle? Zifumane kwaye ubambelele kuzo!
Kwiintsuku ezithile, kuya kuba nzima kunabanye, kodwa kunika ubudlelwane ithuba ekuhambeni kwexesha. Ukuba nobuhlobo obusondeleyo kuya kukhuthaza kwakhona njengoko kubakhusela ekusebenziseni iziyobisi.
4. Zirhangqele ngenkxaso
Enye yeendlela indlela iziyobisi ezibuchaphazela ngayo ubudlelwane kukukuhlukanisa nabantu abasondeleyo. Ngenxa yokuziva unetyala okanye uneentloni, abantu bathambekele ekuyifihleni ingxaki ukunqanda ukwenzakala okungakumbi. Ngokwenza njalo, bayazikhusela ekufumaneni uncedo nenkxaso.
Ngubani onokumthemba ukuba angabakhona kwaye angakugwebi? Ukuba awunaye umntu onjalo, fumana kwi-intanethi okanye ngokwamaqela abantu abanokudlala loo ndima.
Xa abahlobo bakho bakho, ungabakhona kwiqabane lakho kwaye uqhubeke nokutyala imali kulwalamano.
5. Zihoye
Ungalibali ukuba likhoboka lemfazwe ixesha elide. Ayizi kuhamba ngobusuku, kwaye kuzakubakho amahla-ndinyuka. Awunakho ukubamba umphefumlo wakho ude ubethe ngaphezulu.
Kuya kufuneka uthathe inxaxheba ebonakalayo ekwaziseni nasekuboneleleni ngeemfuno kunye neminqweno yakho. Ngaphandle koko, uya kudinwa kwaye ucaphuke ngaphambi kwenkqubo yokubuyisela kwimeko yesiqhelo kunye nokulungisa ubudlelwane unethuba lokunika iziphumo.
Ngaba bonke ubudlelwane obuchaphazelekayo ngokusebenzisa iziyobisi bunokulungiswa?
Umgaqo wokuqala wokunceda umntu ukukhumbuza ukuba awukwazi ukuthatha uxanduva lobomi bomnye umntu. Umntu kufuneka anqwenele ngamandla ukutshintsha. Kungoko kuphela apho kukho ithuba lotshintsho.
Ukunyanzela umntu ukuba ahlengahlengise kwaye atshintshe kunokukhokelela ekuchaseni. Ke ngoko, kuthatha zombini iinzame zamaqabane ukwenza ukuba koyiswe iingxaki zokulutha, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha oku akunjalo.
Ubudlelwane apho amaqabane anxibelelana khona, sebenza kulawulo lweziyobisi, kwaye bathathe uxanduva ngezenzo zabo bame ithuba. Kukwabalulekile ukuba kugxilwe kubo bobabini amaqabane, hayi nje likhoboka, njengokujongana nokulutha ngumceli mngeni wexesha elide.
Zama kwakhona:Ngaba ulwalamano lwam lufanele ukugcinwa kwemibuzo
Isiphelo
Ngaba iziyobisi zinokubuchaphazela njani ubomi bakho kunye nobudlelwane? Ubudlelwane kunye neziyobisi bungaba yi-rollercoaster yeemvakalelo.
Uyabakhathalela, kwaye ufuna ukuba babengcono, kodwa ungaziva ucaphukile, ungcatshiwe, uwedwa, ulilolo, kwaye awunakuzinceda ixesha elininzi. Ngamanye amaxesha, ngokungazi, uyabenza bakwazi.
Umsebenzi wakho kunye nesangqa sakho sentlalontle siyachaphazeleka. Kodwa likho ithemba, kwaye akufuneki ukuba liphumeze ubudlelwane kunye neziyobisi.
Nangona umlutha ushiya uphawu kubudlelwane, ukubuyisa iziyobisi kunye nobudlelwane bunokubakho. Imitshato isenokusinda ukuba omabini amaqabane azimisele ukwenza njalo.
Umlutha kufuneka afune ukutshintsha, ngelixa umntu ongekho likhoboka angabanceda ekufumaneni inkuthazo yokwenza njalo. Ngoncedo olufanelekileyo, iziphumo ezibi kunye nokulutha uqobo kunokulawulwa, kwaye ubomi bunokuphinda bunelise.