Umxholo
- Makhe sithethe ngobuhlobo
- Umtsalane wexesha elifutshane
- Zeziphi iingxaki ezivela phakathi kwabantu abohlukeneyo?
- 1. Imiba yovelwano
- Okukwintsusa
Phantse wonke umntu uyivile intetho ethi "okutsalayo okuchaseneyo" kwaye ngenxa yayo yonke incwadi kaNicholas Spark ekhoyo namhlanje, sinikwe imeko yokukholelwa ukuba abantu ababini abahluke ngokupheleleyo baya kukhwela ihashe labo bakhwele baye kwelanga kunye. Kodwa uxolile ngokuqhekeza abantu bakho bebhamu, oku akunjalo.
Kutshanje kuninzi ukufundisisa okwenziweyo ngeli lizwi, kwaye kuyacaca ukuba izichasi ezitsalwa omnye komnye ziyimpazamo. Ngale logic, abantu bahlala bekholelwa ukuba nantoni na abangayizisiyo kulwalamano lwabo yenye intando kwaye ngokuchaseneyo. Oku kude nenyaniso.
Ubunyani bale meko kukuba into ocinga ukuba intsha kwaye yahlukile kunokukutsala kakhulu ekuqaleni kuba ikwindalo yethu bantu ukuba babe nomdla. Kodwa xa kufikwa ekubeni kubudlelwane bexesha elide, zinokubakho iingxaki ezininzi ezinokuvela.
Makhe sithethe ngobuhlobo
Mhlawumbi uqaphele ukuba xa kusiziwa ekufumaneni abahlobo, uhlala usondela kubantu ababelana ngeminqweno kunye neenjongo zakho; abantu abanomdla ofanayo kumculo kunye nokuzonwabisa okufanayo; yile nto inceda ekugcineni le manyano ixesha elide.
Ubudlelwane bezithandani abohlukanga kunobuhlobo. Abantu abaninzi bathambekele ekucingeni ukuba izibini kufuneka zibe zilungile njengabahlobo njengokuba zingabathandi.
Ngokusisiseko kuba ukuba ngabahlobo kuya kukwenza wonwabele ubomi bakho kwaye utyebe ubudlelwane bakho ngaxeshanye. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba ngabahlobo kubalulekile kuba omnye wothando olunomda oluvakalayo omnye komnye uyaphela, ubuhlobo buyanceda ekomelezeni ubudlelwane bakho kwaye buqhubeke.
Ukuba abantu ababini abananto kwaphela abafana ngayo emva kokuba umtsalane kunye nokuthanda kuphelile, baya kugqibela bekruquke omnye nomnye kwaye besiya kwi-monotony.
Umtsalane wexesha elifutshane
Alithandabuzeki elokuba ukuhlala nomntu onomahluko kunokunceda ekufundiseni izinto kwaye kukuncede ukhule. Kodwa kuyakufika ixesha apho iingxoxo kunye neengxoxo zakho malunga nezinto ezincinci ziya kuqala ukwenzeka kwaye kungekudala okanye kamva ubudlelwane bakho buya kuphela; oku akunakuphepheka ngenxa yenani elikhulu lokwahluka oqala ukulibona phambi kwakho.
Ezi mpikiswano zinokuba nzima kakhulu ukuzisingatha ngakumbi ukuba umahluko uphakathi kwezinto onomdla kuzo ebomini, iinjongo kunye neenqobo ezisemgangathweni; ukuba kunjalo, ulwalamano lwakho lunokutshatyalaliswa. Olona hlobo kuphela lokugcina obu budlelwane kukuba elinye iqabane likulungele ukutshintsha iinjongo kunye nomdla kwelinye iqabane; Ngelishwa, oku kuqheleke ngendlela emangalisayo njengoko uninzi lwabantu luzama ukwenza ikopi yamaqabane abo ukuze lwenze ubudlelwane babo buphile.
Zeziphi iingxaki ezivela phakathi kwabantu abohlukeneyo?
1. Imiba yovelwano
Ukuvelana nomntu ocinga ngokwahlukileyo njengokuba unokuba nzima kakhulu.
Ulindele njani ukuba ungene entlokweni yomntu ongavumelani naye?
Oku kunokuba ngumsindo kakhulu kwaye kunzima kwaye kuzala iingxaki ezingakumbi.
Ezi ngxaki zivela kuba, ukuze silawule kwaye sibe nobudlelwane obuyimpumelelo, amaqabane kufuneka akwazi ukuqondana kwaye ukuba ahluke ngokupheleleyo, kunokuba nzima ukuba novelwano omnye komnye.
2. Ukukruquka
Ukuba awunanto ithethanayo neqabane lakho, emva koko unokugqibela ngokukruquka. Kuba uya kuba nomdla owahlukileyo kumculo, iincwadi, iimuvi, kunye nezinto ozithandayo, unokufumana ukuba uyadika neqabane lakho ngexesha lakho lasimahla.
Endaweni yoko, uya kukhetha ukuphuma nabahlobo bakho endaweni yokuhlala ekhaya ngeCawa, ngaloo ndlela ushenxa ngaphandle kwezinye zakho ezibalulekileyo.
Kuyakufika ixesha apho ungazukuba nanto ukuxoxa okanye ukuthetha ngeqabane lakho, kwaye ungaphela uphosa itawuli kubudlelwane bakho.
3. Ukuba ngumzali
Ulindele ukuba ubakhulise njani abantwana bakho ukuba wena neqabane lakho ninemilinganiselo eyahlukileyo, iindlela zokuziphatha kunye nemibono eyahlukeneyo ngemfundo?
Indlela eya kubuzali inokuba kukusilela okukhulu kuba kuya kukhokelela kwiingxoxo ezininzi kunye neengxoxo; iqabane ngalinye liya kuzama ukukholisa omnye ngendlela yabo kwaye konke oku kungavumelani ungagqiba ukubadida abantwana bakho.
4. Imiba yokuhlalisana
Ukuba ulungelelanisiwe, kwaye iqabane lakho lonakele kwaye linesiphithiphithi, unokufumana kunzima ukuhlala kunye.
Kuqala ungayifumana le nto iyindumasi kwaye ihlekisa kodwa njengoko ixesha lihamba kuya kuba nzima kuwe ukuba ubunyamezele ubukho beqabane lakho.
Okukwintsusa
Ekugqibeleni, abantu abatsaleleke kwiiyantlukwano zigqithile kumtsalane wabo kukufana. Abantu bayazingisa ekucingeni ukuba izichasi ziyatsala xa kunyani amaqabane afanayo omnye komnye ayancedisana ngokuhamba kwexesha.