Umxholo
- 1. ULINDO: Iqabane lam liyandigqiba! Sisinye isiqingatha sam!
- INYANISO: Ndingumntu opheleleyo ndedwa
- 2. ULINDELEKO: Ndifanele ukuba ndiliziko lehlabathi leqabane lam
- INYANISO: Mna neqabane lam sinobomi obupheleleyo, obuzalisekisayo
- 3. UKULINDA: Ulwalamano olusempilweni kufuneka lube lula ngalo lonke ixesha
- INYANISO: Ubomi bunamahla ndinyuka, kodwa mna neqabane lam siyakwazi ukujongana nemozulu
- 4. UKULINDA: Ukuba iqabane lam liyandithanda liza kutshintsha
- INYANISO: Ndiyamthanda umlingane wam ngenxa yokuba bangoobani kwaye bangoobani
Siphila kwindawo ebeka ingqalelo enkulu ekufumaneni ubudlelwane obufanelekileyo "bokuthandana". Ukusuka kwiimovie ukuya kumabonwakude ukuya kumazwi eengoma, sihlaselwa yimilayezo malunga nokuba uthando malukhangeleke njani, silindele ntoni kumaqabane ethu, kwaye kuthetha ntoni ukuba ulwalamano lwethu aluphumeleli kolo silindeleyo.
Kodwa nabani na okhe wathandana uyazi ukuba inyani ihlala ikhangeleka yahlukile kula mabali othando siwabonayo nesiwavayo macala onke. Ingasishiya sizibuza ukuba sinelungelo lokulindela ntoni kwaye ukuba ubudlelwane bethu bulungile kwaye busempilweni kwaphela? Kwaye kubalulekile ukuba sibe sengqiqweni malunga nolindelo vs ubunyani kubudlelwane ukuba sinethemba lokwakha ubudlelwane obunempilo nobuzalisekileyo.
Funda ukuze ufunde ngakumbi malunga nolunye ulindelo olukhulu ngokubhekisele kwinyani kubudlelwane obungaqondakaliyo kubudlelwane kwaye kutheni kubalulekile ukuba uzenze.
1. ULINDO: Iqabane lam liyandigqiba! Sisinye isiqingatha sam!
Kolu lindelo, xa ekugqibeleni sidibana "nomnye," siya kuziva sigqibelele, siphile kwaye sonwabile. Eli qabane lifanelekileyo liya kugcwalisa onke amaqhekeza ethu alahlekileyo kwaye lenze iintsilelo zethu, kwaye siya kwenza okufanayo kubo.
INYANISO: Ndingumntu opheleleyo ndedwa
Kuvakala ngathi yinto encinci, kodwa ngekhe ufumane umntu ofanelekileyo omthandayo ukuba awuziphelelanga. Oku akuthethi ukuba awunangxaki okanye usebenza ukuba uzenzele ngokwakho, kodwa kunokuba ujonge wena ngokwakho ukuhlangabezana nezona mfuno zibalulekileyo.
Awuxhomekekanga komnye umntu ukuze uzive uvumelekile kwaye kufanelekile- ungayifumana le mvakalelo kuwe nakubomi ozakhele bona.
2. ULINDELEKO: Ndifanele ukuba ndiliziko lehlabathi leqabane lam
Le yile flipside yokulindela "bandigqibe". Kolu lindelo, iqabane lakho litshintsha ubomi babo bonke ukuba ligxile kubo bonke nakwizixhobo zabo kuwe.
Abadingi abahlobo bangaphandle, umdla wangaphandle, okanye ixesha labo-okanye, ubuncinci, bafuna ezi zinto ngobungakanani obulinganiselweyo kuphela.
INYANISO: Mna neqabane lam sinobomi obupheleleyo, obuzalisekisayo
Ngamnye wayenobomi ngaphambi kokuba nidibane, kwaye kufuneka niqhubeke nobomi babo nangona nindawonye ngoku. Akukho namnye kuni ufuna ukuba omnye agqibe. Endaweni yokuba nindawonye ngenxa yokuba ubudlelwane buphucula umgangatho wobomi benu.
Umlingane olindele ukuba ulahle yonke iminqweno yangaphandle kunye nobuhlobo ukugxila kubo liqabane elifuna ukulawula, kwaye le ayisiyonto isempilweni okanye yothando!
Endaweni yokuba kubudlelwane obusempilweni, amaqabane axhasa iimfuno zabanye zangaphandle kunye nobuhlobo nangona besakha ubomi kunye.
3. UKULINDA: Ulwalamano olusempilweni kufuneka lube lula ngalo lonke ixesha
Oku kunokushwankathelwa ngokuthi "uthando luyoyisa konke." Kolu lindelo, ubudlelwane "obulungileyo" buhlala bulula, bungekho zingxabano, kwaye bukhululekile. Wena neqabane lakho anikaze nivumelane okanye nibonisane okanye nivumelane.
INYANISO: Ubomi bunamahla ndinyuka, kodwa mna neqabane lam siyakwazi ukujongana nemozulu
Akukho nto ebomini kulula ngalo lonke ixesha, kwaye oku kuyinyani ikakhulu kubudlelwane. Ukukholelwa ukuba ubudlelwane bakho buyatshabalala xa umqondiso wokuqala wobunzima okanye ungquzulwano lubeka emngciphekweni ophelisa ulwalamano olunokuba lulungile kuwe! Ngelixa ubundlobongela kunye nokuxabana okugqithisileyo ziiflegi ezibomvu, inyani kukuba kulwalamano ngalunye kuyakubakho ukungavisisani, ungquzulwano, kunye namaxesha apho kuya kufuneka ulalanise okanye uthethathethane.
Ayibobukho bengxwabangxwaba kodwa yindlela ophethe ngayo wena neqabane lakho emisela ukuba ubudlelwane bakho busempilweni kangakanani.
Ukufunda ukuthetha-thethana, usebenzisa izakhono zokusombulula ukungqubana, kunye nokuyekisa kwisitshixo kubalulekile ekwenziweni kobudlelwane obunempilo, obuhlala ixesha elide.
4. UKULINDA: Ukuba iqabane lam liyandithanda liza kutshintsha
Olu lindelo lubambe ukuba singakhuthaza umntu esimthandayo ukuba atshintshe ngeendlela ezithile kwaye ukuzimisela kwabo ukwenza njalo kubonisa ukuba lukhulu kangakanani uthando lwabo.
Ngamanye amaxesha oku kuza ngohlobo lokukhetha iqabane esilithatha njenge “projekthi” - umntu okholelwa okanye owenza izinto esizibona sinengxaki, kodwa esikholelwa ukuba singazitshintsha sibe luhlobo "olungcono". Kukho imizekelo yoku kuyo yonke inkcubeko ye-pop, kwaye abantu basetyhini bayakhuthazwa ngakumbi ukuba bakhethe amadoda abanokuthi "bawaguqule" okanye babumbe iqabane elifanelekileyo.
INYANISO: Ndiyamthanda umlingane wam ngenxa yokuba bangoobani kwaye bangoobani
Abantu baya kutshintsha ngokuhamba kwexesha, kunjalo. Kwaye kubalulekile ukuxhasa amaqabane ethu ekwenzeni utshintsho ebomini oluya kuziphucula ngokwabo kwaye luqinise ubudlelwane bethu.
Kodwa ukuba awukwazi ukulithanda iqabane lakho njengoko bekwimzuzu ethile, kwaye endaweni yoko ukholelwe ukuba ukubathanda ngakumbi kuya kubangela ukuba batshintshe ngokusisiseko, uya kudana.
Ukwamkela iqabane lakho ukuba lingobani yeyona nto iphambili ekwakheni impilo esempilweni.
Ukulindela iqabane ukuba litshintshe "njengobungqina" bothando-okanye, ngokuchaseneyo, ukulindela ukuba bangaze bakhule kwaye batshintshe-kukungasebenzi kakuhle kwiqabane lakho, ubudlelwane bakho kunye nawe.