Umxholo
- Masiqale ngobungqina bempumelelo
- Lisebenza njani unyango lwezibini ezijolise kwiimvakalelo?
- Ithiyori yokuncamathisela
- Indlela esibalisa ngayo ivela kwisidingo sokuziva sikhuselekile
- Ukuphuhlisa uluvo lwangaphakathi lokhuseleko olwenziwe luthando
Unyango lweZibini ezitshatileyo eziJolise kwiMvakalelo (i-EFT) yindlela yonyango yezibini eye yaphatha ngempumelelo izibini ezininzi.
Isekela indlela yayo kwincamathiselo yokuncamathisela kwaye ijolise ekwaziseni abantu abambalwa kwiindlela zabo zonxibelelwano ezingalunganga kwaye ibanceda ukuba bafumane ubudlelwane obukhuselekileyo phakathi kwabo obusekwe ngothando.
Isicwangciso esinomdla esivakalayo, kwaye enye yezona zinto zibalaseleyo malunga nonyango olugxile kwezithandani kukuba kuthatha inyathelo elicwangcisiweyo ngenyathelo elingabandakanyi iiseshoni zokucebisa kule minyaka ilishumi izayo- ihlala ithatha phakathi kwe 8- Iiseshoni ezingama-20 kuxhomekeke kwizibini ezichaphazelekayo.
Ke loluphi unyango olugxile kwiimvakalelo malunga nezibini?
Masiqale ngobungqina bempumelelo
Ngokwezifundo kufumaniswe ukuba ama-70 ukuya kuma-75% amaqabane ahamba kunyango olujolise kwiimvakalelo afumene iziphumo eziyimpumelelo- apho aqala khona uxinzelelo kwaye ngoku aye kwinkqubo yokubuyisela kwimeko yesiqhelo.
Ayisiyiyo yonke-isifundo sikwabonakalisile ukuba oku kuphulukana sithetha ngako kuzinzile ngokufanelekileyo kwaye kuhlala ixesha elide. Akukho bungqina bungako konke ukubuyela umva. Kwaye ukuba ayikonelisi ngokupheleleyo, iipesenti ezingama-90 zezi zibini zithathe inxaxheba kolu phando zibonise ukuphucuka okubonakalayo.
Xa ucinga ngazo zonke izinto kunye nezinto ezibandakanyekileyo kubudlelwane, kulula ukubona ukuba ubunzima bokucebisa izibini bukhulu. Ke xa unokufumana iziphumo ezinamandla kangako kunyango olugxile kwiimvakalelo, kuyamangalisa ngokwenene.
Lisebenza njani unyango lwezibini ezijolise kwiimvakalelo?
Unyango lwezibini ezijolise kwiimvakalelo lusekwe kwithiyori yokuncamathisela kukaJohn Bowlby.
Ithiyori yokuncamathisela
Ithiyori yokuncamathisela ijolise kwindlela esakha ngayo ukunamathela njengabantwana oko kuxhomekeke kwinqanaba lokhathalelo kunye nengqwalaselo esiyifumene kumongi wethu ophambili.
Ukuba sifumene ukhathalelo kunye noqwalaselo olwaneleyo, sihlala sakha izincamathelisi ezakhayo nezilungeleleneyo kulwalamano lwethu nabantu abadala.
Ukuba asifumananga kukhathalelo 'oloneleyo' kwaye siqwalaselwe ngumkhathaleli wethu oyintloko, emva koko senza iindlela zokuncamathisela okungalunganga. Okanye ingxaki yokuncamathisela, kuxhomekeke kubunzulu bokungabikho kononophelo esilufumanayo.
Phantse isiqingatha sabantu abadala base-US kuthiwa banesimbo sokuncamathisela esingalunganga okanye ingxaki yokuncamathisela. Oko kuthetha ukuba kukho ithuba eliphezulu lokuba wena okanye iqabane lakho okanye iqabane lakho linokuba nengxaki enjalo.
Ngokusisiseko, kwenzeka ntoni xa singenzi iziqhoboshelo ezisempilweni esiba kukungazithembi emhlabeni, asinalo iqonga elikhuselekileyo lokuma, kwaye njengabantwana, siya kuba sifunde indlela yokuziphatha ngendlela ethile ukuze sifezekise iimfuno zethu kwaye usinde.
Kodwa indlela esenza ngayo isenokuba iphumelele ekusincedeni sihambe kwaye sisinde kumanzi anzima njengosana, kodwa oko akusincedi ukuba sakhe ubudlelwane obunempilo njengabantu abadala.
Ingxaki kukuba, ngokwethiyori yokuncamathisela, ukuba ngelo xesha sasinemfuno yezi mpawu zokuziphatha yayikwelo xesha apho ingqondo yethu yayikhula.
Ke, iipateni esizenzileyo ukuze sisinde zinokubetheleleka kuthi. Yendele enyanisweni ukuze singaze siyiqonde into yokuba kukho ingxaki ngaphandle kwento yokuba asinakubonakala ngathi sinomtsalane kubudlelwane obuphilileyo okanye sibugcine xa sinethuba.
Indlela esibalisa ngayo ivela kwisidingo sokuziva sikhuselekile
Yonke le micimbi kwindlela esinxulumana ngayo ivela kwiimfuno zokuziva sikhuselekile emhlabeni, ke ngoko sinokungazithembi kubudlelwane ukunqanda ukuphulukana nento exabisekileyo, esikude nayo ukunqanda ukwenzakala, okanye ukungalungelelani ngenxa yokuba singalungelelananga, konke indlela yokukhusela ubuthathaka bethu.
Ke, iingcali zonyango ezijolise kwiimvakalelo zinokukunceda uqonde ezi patheni kwaye zikuxhase ekuhambeni kuzo njengesibini. Nobabini ninokuqala ukuqonda omnye komnye ngokunzulu kwaye nifunde ukuthembana nokunxibelelana omnye komnye.
Ukuphuhlisa uluvo lwangaphakathi lokhuseleko olwenziwe luthando
Xa oku kusenzeka nobabini niqala ukuhlakulela imvakalelo yokuzalwa yokhuseleko eyakhiwe luthando egqithisa kunqongophala kokhuseleko lwangaphambili onokuthi waziva ungazi ngaphambili.
Njengomntu owakhe wanesimbo sokuncamathisela esingalunganga, ndinokungqina kwinto yokuba kunokwenzeka ukoyisa nokulungisa.
Ke xa okanye ukuba ucinga ngonyango lwezibini ezijolise ngokweemvakalelo njengokukhetha imeko yakho yazi nje oku; umsebenzi owenzayo unokunceda umtshato wakho okanye ubudlelwane bakho ukufumana indlela yokuphuma ekubandezelekeni.
Kwaye ukuba uyawenza umsebenzi, uyakuqinisekisa ukuba uthathe amanyathelo engqondo ukulungisa umonakalo onokuba nawo amava akho obuntwana bokuqala kumandla akho okutsala kunye nokugcina ubudlelwane obunempilo. Ukuze kwixesha elizayo, kunye nobomi bakho bonke, awuyi kudinga ukujongana nalo mbandela kwakhona.
Kukho intetho ethi 'ukuba uyaligqiba ixesha lakho elidlulileyo awuphindi elidlulileyo,' kwaye unyango olugxile kwiimvakalelo luyindlela enye yokwenza njalo. Unyango lwezibini ezijolise kwiimvakalelo zikunceda ukuba wenze kanye loo nto.
Unyango lwezibini ezijolise kwiimvakalelo zisetyenziswa kwizibini ezininzi ezahlukeneyo, kwiinkcubeko zonke, kunye nakwizenzo.
I-EFT yaziwa ngokunceda izibini ezitshatileyo apho elinye okanye omabini amaqabane anengxaki yokuba likhoboka, uxinzelelo, ukugula okungapheliyo okanye isifo se-PTSD.
Kuye kwabonakala kunamandla kakhulu kwiimeko apho izibini ziye zajongana nokungathembeki okanye ezinye iziganeko ezibuhlungu kakhulu.
Inokukunceda ukubuyela umva kwinkqubo yethu yangaphambili, okanye iinkolelo kunye nokudibanisa nayiphi na imvakalelo ecinezelweyo okanye ebonisa, iqinisekisiwe okanye ayifanelekanga kunye nokuthomalalisa nokuphilisa nakuphi na ukungqubana esinokuba nakho.
Ekugqibeleni ikhuthaza ukuxhomekeka okunempilo kunye nemvakalelo yangaphakathi yokhuseleko kuwo omabini amaqabane.
Ngoku khawufane ucinge ukuba, ubudlelwane obusekwe kukhuseleko, ukuzithemba, kunye nokuba sempilweni ngokwasemoyeni nangokwengqondo. Leyo yindlela efanelekileyo yokuqala isahluko esitsha kulo nabuphi na ubudlelwane. Ngaba awucingi?