Umxholo
- Ukuba ngumzali onegunya kukugcina kwiinzwane zakho
- Ukuba ngumzali onegunya kubeka umngcipheko kwimvukelo
- Ukuba ngumzali onegunya kuyakhohlisa ukugcina ngexesha leempikiswano
- Ukuba ngumzali onegunya kufuna uphononongo rhoqo
Kuzo zonke iindlela zokuba ngumzali, isitayile esigunyazisiweyo sokuba ngumzali samkelwe ngokubanzi njengeyona mpumelelo ekuveliseni abantwana abalungeleleneyo, abanemveliso nabanembeko.
Kodwa, yintoni igunya lokuba ngumzali? Kwaye, kutheni ukuba ngumzali onegunya kuyeyona ilungileyo ngokoluvo lwesininzi?
Abazali abasebenzisa isitayile esigunyazisiweyo sokuba ngumzali bagcina ulawulo lwabo ekhaya, kodwa bayakwazi ukuba nobudlelwane obufudumeleyo nobusondeleyo nabantwana babo. Kukho imigaqo ecacileyo kunye nemida, kodwa ingxoxo yamkelwe, kwaye iimvakalelo zabantwana kunye nezimvo ziyaqwalaselwa.
Xa ulindelo lwabazali abagunyazisiweyo lungafezekiswa, ezinye iziphumo zinceda umntwana ukuba ahambe kwicala elifanelekileyo, ngenkxaso kunye nenkuthazo evela kumzali. Ke ngoko, ukuba ngumzali onegunya kuye kwaduma isihloko seyona ndlela ibalaseleyo yokuba ngumzali ukuza kuthi ga ngoku.
Ke, konke oku kuvakala kugqibelele- ngaba kunokwenzeka ukuba kubekho naziphi na izinto ezimbi okanye ezothusayo kwisitayile sobuzali esigunyazisiweyo?
Ngokucacileyo, ewe, kwaye eli nqaku, kwingxoxo elandelayo, liza kugxininisa ezimbalwa zeziphumo ezinokubakho zokuba ngumzali ezibandakanya ezantsi.
Ke ukuba ungumzali owenza konke okusemandleni akho ukukhulisa abantwana bakho ngeyona nto uyaziyo, ke nazi iingongoma ezimbalwa ekufuneka uziqwalasele njengoko ucija izakhono zakho zobuzali.
Ukuba ngumzali onegunya kukugcina kwiinzwane zakho
Nje ukuba ube ngumzali, yenzelwe ubomi. Ngokuqinisekileyo, iminyaka yakho yokuba ngumzali yiminyaka embalwa kwaye ihlala ixesha elifutshane, kodwa uya kuhlala ungumzali womntwana wakho.
Kwiminyaka elishumi elinesibhozo yokuqala yobomi bomntwana wakho, ngaphandle kwamathandabuzo kuyakufuneka uqokelele zonke izibonelelo zakho ukuhlangabezana nemiceli mngeni yokuba ngumzali. Ngexesha elithile, kuya kufuneka uthathe isigqibo malunga nohlobo oluthile 'lwesitayile somzali,' nokuba uyazi okanye ungazi.
Ukuba ukhetha ukujolisa kwisitayile esigunyazisiweyo sokuba ngumzali, apho ubeka imida ecacileyo ngelixa ugcina ubudlelwane obufudumeleyo nobusondeleyo nomntwana wakho, uyakufumanisa ukuba akukho 'xesha lokuphumla.'
Umzuzu abantwana babazali abagunyazisiweyo bayayiqonda into yokuba umama okanye utata uziva ediniwe / eyonqenayo / engenayo namhlanje, baya kuyicinezela inzuzo yabo, kwaye abazali banokuphulukana nomhlaba ophumelele nzima ukuba awuphaphami kwaye awuhambelani malunga ukugcina imida oyibekileyo.
Ke, enye yezona zinto ziphantsi zendlela yokuba ngumzali egunyazisiweyo yile ngokuqhubekayo kufuneka ube kwizinzwane zakho, kwaye awunakukwazi 'ukuyekelela' ukuba ufuna ukuwenza usebenze.
Kodwa ke akunjalo na ngayo nayiphi na into exabisekileyo? Kuthatha umsebenzi onzima kunye nokuzingisa.
Ukuba ngumzali onegunya kubeka umngcipheko kwimvukelo
Isitayile sokugunyazisa ukuba ngumzali ngamanye amaxesha kubhekiswa kuso njengesimbo 'sedemokhrasi'. Kungenxa yokuba abantwana banikwa uluvo, kwaye bavunyelwe kwaye bayakhuthazwa ngenene ukuba bavakalise izimvo zabo.
Ke, Nanini na xa unika abantu inkululeko yokuvakalisa izimvo zabo, amathuba okuba bakhethe ngokuchaseneyo nale nto ubuyifuna kubo.
Ezi zezinye zeziphumo zendlela yokuba ngumzali onegunya, kodwa jonga enye indlela, apho abantwana benganikwanga kukhetho, kwaye banyanzelekile ukuba bathobele yonke imiyalelo neminqweno yabazali babo.
Olu hlobo lokuba ngumzali nguzwilakhe okanye ngokucinezela kunokubangela ukuba abantwana bathobele ngenxa yokoyika iziphumo eziza kufezekiswa. Kwaye nje ukuba bakhululeke kolu hlobo lolawulo, kukho umngcipheko ophezulu wokuba baya kuvukela kwaye bazame indlela yokuziphatha eyingozi.
Ke ngaphakathi kwendawo elawulwayo yendlela egunyazisiweyo, ngokuqinisekileyo, kunokubakho uvukelo. Okwangoku, emva koko umzali uyakwazi ukuyisebenza kunye nomntwana ngendlela evulekileyo nenenkxaso.
Ukuba ngumzali onegunya kuyakhohlisa ukugcina ngexesha leempikiswano
Kukho izibonelelo ezininzi zesitayile somzali ogunyazisiweyo, kodwa kufuneka siliqonde icala leflip lebali. Ukulandela umngcipheko wemvukelo, ngokungathandabuzekiyo, ukuba ngumzali onegunya kuyaxakeka ngexesha lempikiswano kunye nomntwana ngabom.
Bonke abazali bayoyika ezo ziqendu xa umntwana wabo othandekayo eziphatha ngendlela ekrwada, eneenkani, okanye enekratshi. Ukuzigcina upholile ngala maxesha kunokuba ngumceli mngeni omkhulu xa yonke into ikuxelela ukuba uphinde uphinde ulawule imeko kwaye uphelise i-coup d'état, ngokungathi kunjalo ...
Kulapho ke umzali onegunya efuna ukuqina kodwa abe nothando, kwaye ngobumnene ayiphakamise imida oyibekileyo, avumele iziphumo zilandele.
Ngexesha leengxabano, kungalula ukubeka unyawo lwakho phantsi kwaye utyibilike kwindlela yolawulo - 'indlela yam okanye uhola wendlela.'
Kwelinye icala, indlela yokuthetha evumayo iya kuba kukunyusa amagxa akho kwaye umyeke umntwana aphume nehambo yakhe embi.
Ngeendlela ezininzi, sisenzo sokulinganisa, kwaye unokuziva ngathi uhamba ngesitrato, ushukuma kwindlela enobungozi. Hlala womelele kwaye ugcine injongo engqondweni njengoko usebenzisa konke umonde onokuwenza.
Ukwazi ngakumbi malunga nezinye iindlela zokubangumzali, bukela le vidiyo:
Ukuba ngumzali onegunya kufuna uphononongo rhoqo
Xa usebenzisa isitayile sobuzali esigunyazisiweyo ngaphandle kwezimbo ezinokubakho zokuba ngumzali, kuya kufuneka ubhetyebhetye, uhlolo oluqhubekekayo kwaye uphinde uphonononge iindlela kunye nezicwangciso zakho.
Abantwana bayatshintsha kwaye bakhule ngokukhawuleza; Into esebenze kakuhle kakhulu kumntwana wakho oneminyaka emine isenokungasebenzi kakuhle xa esiba neminyaka esixhenxe okanye esibhozo. Ke Kuya kufuneka uvuleke ukuze ulungise kwaye uguqule imigaqo njengoko uqhubeka.
Ukuba ungumntu othanda ukuthatha isigqibo kwinto enye kube kanye kwaye emva koko uyiyeke ihlale ingunyaka onyaka nonyaka, eli candelo lesitayile sokuba ngumzali eligunyazisiweyo lisenokuba yinto embi kuwe.
Kodwa ukuba uyawonwabela umceli mngeni wokunyuka kulo msitho, uyakufumanisa usenza iimpendulo ezintsha kwizinto ezihlala zintsha nezothusayo abanokuza nazo abantwana bakho rhoqo.
Konwabele ukonwabela ukuba ngumzali onegunya njengoko uhamba kunye nokuququzelela uhambo lomntwana wakho ukuba abe ngumntu owanelisayo noxanduva.
Kwaye ukuba unokudibana nezi 'zinto zingezantsi' apha endleleni, zisebenzise njengokunyathela amatye ukukusondeza kwinjongo yakho yokunceda umntwana wakho ukuba aqole ngeyona ndlela ibalaseleyo.