Umxholo
- Ithini iBhayibhile ngomsindo emtshatweni?
- Indlela yokujongana nomsindo kubudlelwane
- Ukuthatha uncedo lobungcali
- Ukujongana nomsindo kubudlelwane: ukulawula okubangela
- Umsindo wam wonakalisa ubuhlobo bam, ndenza ntoni?
- Ingqiqo enomdla
Nditsho nabantu abonwabileyo abatshatileyo banyamezela ukungavisisani ngenxa yokuba ukungavisisani kuyinxalenye yolona lwalamano lubalaseleyo. Kuba ingxabano kunye nomsindo emtshatweni wakho yinto elindelekileyo, kubalulekile ukuba ufunde ukumelana nayo ukuze ubudlelwane buphumelele kwaye bunyamezele.
Inye kuphela into ekufuneka isonjululwe emtshatweni ngumsindo. Kunokoyikisa, kodwa umsindo awusoloko umbi. Ihlala iyindlela nje yokukhanyisa iingxaki. Ngaphandle komsindo, iingxaki ezininzi emhlabeni azinakuze zilungiswe okanye zilungiswe.
Kukho iindlela ezimbini ezahlukeneyo zokujongana nomsindo. Abanye abantu bayavutha kwaye bavakalise umsindo wabo ngelixa abanye bewucinezela. Ukuqhuma kunokukhokelela kumazwi abuhlungu anokukhokelela kulwalamano lwexesha elide. Kwiphepha le-flip, ukucinezela umsindo emtshatweni wakho kunokubangela ukucaphuka, nako oko kungonakalisa ubudlelwane.
Ithini iBhayibhile ngomsindo emtshatweni?
Mininzi imizekeliso neendumiso eBhayibhileni ezithetha ngokulawulwa komsindo. IMizekeliso 25:28; I-29: 11 thetha ngokuqonda ubungozi bomsindo ongalawulwayo ngelixa iMizekeliso 17:14 isithi "Ngaphambi kokuba kuvele ingxabano, rhoxa". Ke ngoku xa ubona ukuba ungquzulwano phakathi kwenu nobabini luyajika lube ngumlo, thatha nje ikhefu ukuze uphole kwaye uphinde ucinge kwakhona okungahambi kakuhle kunokubangxolisana
Ukuba ukukhathazeka kwakho kusemgceni wokuba "umsindo wam uyalonakalisa ulwalamano lwam" ke iMizekeliso 19:11 ibonisa indlela: "Ingqiqo yomntu ngokuqinisekileyo imenza azeke kade umsindo." Ke zama ukufumana ukuqonda ngaphambi kokwenza izigqibo malunga nemeko.
Kwakhona, ngokutsho kwabaseKolose 3: 13-14:
“Nyamezanani, nixolelane, ukuba omnye wenu unesikhalazo nganto; Xolela njengokuba iNkosi yayixolela. Phezu kwazo zonke ezi zinto zintle, yambathani uthando, oluyibopha bonke ngobunye obugqibeleleyo.
Ewe, ulawulo lomsindo kubudlelwane lufuna umonde omninzi kunye nokukwazi ukuxolela iqabane. Ukubamba umsindo emtshatweni wakho kwenza ubudlelwane bube krakra kwaye ngamanye amaxesha kudala imicimbi yomsindo kubudlelwane obunokuthi bungalawuleki kwixesha elizayo.
Indlela yokujongana nomsindo kubudlelwane
Indlela esempilweni yokulawula umsindo emtshatweni wakho kukufunda indlela yokujongana nesizathu somsindo wakho ngaphandle kokulimaza ulwalamano lwakho okanye nesiqu sakho.
Umsindo usenokuziva ngathi ungalawuleki, kodwa uninzi lwethu luyakwazi ukulawula. Wakhe wayifumana imeko apho wawucaphuka kangangokuba waziva ngathi uza kuqhuma nanini na? Ke ngequbuliso, wafowunelwa ngumntu ongadibananga nomthombo womsindo wakho. Okumangalisa kukuba, ngaphakathi komzuzwana owahluliweyo, umnxeba uyakuthoba kwaye umsindo wakho uyawohloka.
Ukuba ukhe wazifumana ukule meko, ungawulawula umsindo wakho-kunokuba nzima, kodwa sele unazo izixhobo zokusebenza. Ukuba awukwazi ukunxibelelana nefuthe lokufowuna ngokungacwangciswanga, ngokuqinisekileyo unawo umsebenzi onzulu ekufuneka uwenze malunga nomsindo. Ukujongana nomsindo emtshatweni akunakwenzeka. Ukunyamezela sisitshixo.
Ukuthatha uncedo lobungcali
Ukuthatha uncedo lobungcali ukulawula umsindo kunye nenzondo kubudlelwane yinto onokungayithathi ngqalelo ekuqaleni kodwa ukuthatha uncedo lweengcali akufuneki kube yinto engekhoyo. Kunokuba luncedo kakhulu ukusebenza nengcali eqeqeshiweyo ukukunceda ufunde ukulawula umsindo wakho ukuxhasa umtshato wakho.
Ukoyisa umsindo nengqumbo emtshatweni kufuna umsebenzi omninzi kubandakanya ukuphucula unxibelelwano kunye nokutshintsha imikhwa ethile okanye imbono yomntu kwizinto ezithile. Ngamanye amaxesha, ugqirha unokunceda isibini ukuba sifezekise oku.
Ukujongana nomsindo kubudlelwane: ukulawula okubangela
Ukujongana nomsindo nengqumbo emtshatweni, kufuneka ujonge ekujongeni into ebangela iqabane lakho kunye nezinto ezikubangelayo. Ukususa okanye ukujongana nezinto ezinokubangela umsindo emtshatweni wakho kunokukunceda woyise umsindo kulwalamano lwakho.
Kweminye inokuba yinto elula njengemisebenzi yasendlini, ukuxhoma kunye nabahlobo okanye enye into enzima njengokulawula iimali njengesibini.
Ngayiphi na imeko, ukulawulwa komsindo emtshatweni yinto ekufuneka ijongiwe ngokukhawuleza. Ukujongana nomsindo kubudlelwane nesiqingatha sakho esingcono, okanye loo nto, ukujongana nemicimbi yomsindo nakoluphi na ulwalamano, kufuna ukuba uzicingele izihlangu zomnye umntu kwaye jonga kunye kwimeko Ukufumana isisombululo hayi ukubonisa nje ukuba ngubani olungileyo.
Umsindo wam wonakalisa ubuhlobo bam, ndenza ntoni?
Ukuba uqaphele ukuba umsindo wakho ungumba ophambili kubudlelwane bakho, lelo linyathelo lokuqala ekwenzeni ngcono. Imiba yomsindo emtshatweni ingalawulwa ngawo omabini amaqabane kodwa ekugqibeleni iyabila ukuba ungakanani umsebenzi ozimisele ukuwenza mihla le.
Ukuba umsindo emtshatweni wakho uyityhefu ulwalamano lwakho, kufuneka ukuhlangabezana neengongoma zakho ezibuthathaka kwaye uvavanye ukuba unomsindo na kwiqabane lakho ngeempazamo zabo okanye ezakho.
Umsindo womyeni wam umosha umtshato wethu ...
Ukuba ukhangela isisombululo kule meko, ungoyiki. Isengqiqweni okanye ingenangqondo, umsindo onjalo unokuba yingozi kuwe ekuhambeni kwexesha. Ukuhlala nomntu ophaphazelayo ulungele uluhlu okanye ukubonisa umsindo ngendlela engenzi nto kunokuba nzima.
Ke yeyiphi eyona ndlela yokulawula umsindo wendoda yakho? Ukuqiqa naye yenye into, ukuziguqula yenye indlela yokulawula umsindo emtshatweni wakho. Kodwa ukuba yonke into iyasilela kwaye izinto zingaphaya kolawulo, ungathandabuzi ukufikelela kumntu onokuthenjwa. Oku kunokuba ngumntu osapho, umhlobo, ummelwane okanye ugqirha.
Ingqiqo enomdla
Ngokwe-Psychologist uGqr.Herb Goldberg, izibini kufuneka zilawule ngeziqalo ezinzima kubudlelwane kuba iba ngcono kamva. Isifundo seFlorida State siyayixhasa le nto. Kufumanise ukuba izibini ezikwaziyo ukubonisa umsindo ngokucacileyo ekuqalekeni kobudlelwane zihlala zonwabile kwixesha elide.
Imiba yomsindo emtshatweni inokulawulwa ngokuphathwa ngendlela ebonakalayo ngelixa usenza ixesha elininzi omnye komnye kwaye ukhethe amadabi akho ngobulumko. Akukho nto uthando oluncinci olungenakusombulula.