Umxholo
- 1. Gcina abantwana bakho bangabekwa phakathi kwenu nobabini
- 2. Yenza abantwana bayamkele inyani ekrakra ngovelwano olukhulu
- 3. Akukho kunyuka okanye ukuvumela umda osemthethweni ukuba unyuswe
- Misela imida malunga nesikolo, ikhaya, kunye noluntu
- 5. Hlakulela ukuxhomekeka kubo ukusukela emncinci
- 6. Bayeke abantwana banxibelelane nomnye umzali
- 7. Banelise iimfuno zabo zezemali
Ukwahlula phakathi kwesibini bekusoloko kungumba obuthathaka. Akukho lula ukuhamba kwinkqubo ebuhlungu yokwahlukana kwaye kamva, uqhawulo-mtshato. Ngamanye amaxesha, ayingobantu babini kuphela abanokuqwalaselwa, kunokuba lusapho.
Nokuba ubudlelwane bakho bebububi kangakanani kwi ex-iqabane lakho, izinto azipheli kuqhawulo mtshato.
Emva koqhawulo-mtshato, imicimbi ethile yomtshato ihlala ingazinzanga nasemva kokuba i-inki yomile kummiselo. Eminye imicimbi enzima kakhulu yamazwe amabini ayinakusonjululwa ngokulula. Omnye wabo uthatha isigqibo malunga nomgcini wabantwana.
Ukuba unomntu othanda ukonwaba kwaye ungumzali kunye nalo mntu unetyhefu, yazi, umthwalo wokuba ngumzali usempilweni ulele emagxeni akho.
Ungaba kanjani ngumzali kunye nomlingane wakho onzima?
Ukuba ujongene nomzali ongumlingani we-narcissist, masiphakamise ikhethini kwamanye amathuba okuba ngumzali ngokubambisana nomlingane owayesakuba liqabane lakhe.
1. Gcina abantwana bakho bangabekwa phakathi kwenu nobabini
Kungcono uqaphele, ukuba ngumzali ngokubambisana nomntwana onetyhefu kuthetha ukuba ii-exes ezinetyhefu okanye abazali abakhohlisayo abanokudlala yonke imidlalo yeemvakalelo ukukugcina uzinze kubudlelwane nasemva koqhawulo-mtshato olukhohlakeleyo. Baza kuzama ukukulukuhla ukuba bathathe lonke ityala, kwaye banokubaxhaphaza abantwana ngenxa yesi sizathu.
Sukunikela ingqalelo kumaqhinga abo amabi, kwaye uzame ukusindisa abantwana bakho ekuziqhelaniseni nawe.
Xa ubambisana kunye nomntwana onobungozi, setha umda wentlonipho wena kunye nomzali wakho, ongazophulwa nangayiphi na kwezi zimbini.
2. Yenza abantwana bayamkele inyani ekrakra ngovelwano olukhulu
Abantwana abaxhomekeke ngokulinganayo kubazali babo bobabini akunakulindeleka ukuba balwamkele uqhekeko losapho. Ngabo abangazange bathethe nto kumcimbi obaluleke kangaka, nangona kunokwenzeka ukuba bachatshazelwe sesi sigqibo.
Ukwahlukana kwabazali kufuneka baqinisekise abantwana babo ukuba baya kuhlala beyintsapho nasemva koku kuhamba kubalulekile. Abazali bafanele baziphumze iingqondo zabantwana. Kufuneka baqinisekise abantwana ngesibophelelo sosapho esihlala sihleli.
3. Akukho kunyuka okanye ukuvumela umda osemthethweni ukuba unyuswe
Zama ukungawongameli amalungelo akho asemthethweni ngokubhekisele kubantwana. Ngelixa ubambisene njengomzali kunye nomntu owayenetyhefu, ungaze uvumele omnye umzali ukuba asebenzise isabelo sakho, ngaxeshanye.
Kufuneka uwamkele amalungelo akho. Sukuvumela izinto zilawulwe ngomnye umzali xa ubambisene njengomzali kunye nomntu owayenetyhefu. Kuya kufuneka usebenzise impembelelo yakho ebantwaneni, kuya kufuneka ubanike amaxabiso obomi afanelekileyo, kwaye unelungelo kuwo.
Ungaze ulalanise ekugcineni amalungelo akho.
Misela imida malunga nesikolo, ikhaya, kunye noluntu
Ngelixa ubambisene njengomzali kunye ne-ex enzima, umntu kufuneka athathe isigqibo malunga nokuseta imida kunye nabantu abatshate nabo. Ukwenza imida kunye nowayesakuba liqabane kuya kukhuthaza ubuthi obuncinci kulwalamano owabelana ngalo okanye umntwana abelana ngalo.
Abantwana kufuneka baqhelene nayo yonke imimandla yobomi kwasekuqaleni. Kufuneka bafundiswe indlela yokuziphatha kwindawo ethile.
Kuya kufuneka ubagcine bekude nomyalelo womzali onetyhefu. Ngokudibana nemida yokuba ngumzali, yenza ulwazi kubo kuwo onke amacandelo obomi, ukusuka kubuntu ukuya kubungcali ukuya kwezentlalo, onke amanqanaba obomi kufuneka aqeqeshwe kwaye akhuthalelwe.
5. Hlakulela ukuxhomekeka kubo ukusukela emncinci
Ukuzimela kubaluleke kakhulu kubantwana, nokuba ubudlelwane phakathi kwabazali abukho emxholweni.
Bafundise ukuba bazimele xa bekwisigaba sokuqala sobomi. Oku kuya kuba luncedo olukhulu kubo ekuhambeni kwexesha. Njani?
Kwividiyo engezantsi, uSara Zaske uxoxa ngencwadi yakhe entsha kwaye wabelana ngeendlela zokuba ngumzali ezinokwenza ukuba abantwana bazithembe ngokwabo ngeziganeko ezininzi kunye nee-anecdotes.
Kungekudala okanye kamva, baya kufumanisa ubunzima bobomi, kubandakanya ubukho bomzali onetyhefu ukuba ungumzali kunye nomnye umntu onetyhefu. Kude kube lelo xesha, baya kuba nakho ukuzimela ngeenyawo zabo ezimbini. Ngekhe bafune inkxaso yokujongana nokusilela.
Ngokuqinisekileyo baya kufunda ukuqhubela phambili ngokwabo ukuba bafundiswe ukuhlala kwi-hump yabo.
6. Bayeke abantwana banxibelelane nomnye umzali
Kulumkele nakuphi na ukudlala intlonti kubudlelwane ukuba ubudlelwane bakho bebunetyhefu kunye ne-ex yakho, akuyomfuneko ukuba iqabane lakho ligalele netyhefu nakumntwana.
Sukuthintela unxibelelwano okanye ixesha lokubopha phakathi komntwana wakho neqabane lakho. Bavumelekile ukuba batyelelane ngalo lonke ixesha. Kwakhona kuphephe ukuthetha kakubi ngeqabane lakho phambi komntwana wakho.
Wonke umzali ufanelwe ubudlelwane obunothando nomntwana wakhe. Ke ngoko yixhase kwaye uyikhumbule into oyithethayo ngomnye umzali phambi kwabantwana bakho.
7. Banelise iimfuno zabo zezemali
Uxinzelelo lwezezimali yenye yezona ngxaki zixhaphakileyo zokuba ngumzali njengoko ukwahlula uxanduva lwabazali kunokuba nzima ngelixa ubambisene nabo njengomzali onzima.
Kuya kuba yinto ephantsi ukuba uthi; iimfuno zabo zezemali kufuneka zizalisekiswe. Ngapha koko, kuya kufuneka ubone iindleko zabo ngovelwano. Kuya kufuneka unomdla kakhulu kuyo.
Abantwana abahluthwe izibonelelo ezithile ebomini bakhula benesidima.
Abantwana bahlala bezithelekisa, kwaye bafuna ukuba nayo yonke into ibhetele xa bejongela abanye abantwana. Akufanele uchithe kakubi kubo. Umzali kufuneka azame ukubabuyekeza ngayo yonke into abayifunayo.
Kwinqaku elisecaleni, kuya kufuneka ufunde ngononophelo yonke iminqweno yabo ngaphambi kokuba uyizalisekise.
Akukho mntwana ufanelwe ukukhula ngumntu omdala owoyikisayo. Eyona nto intle kakhulu inokuba yile, ukuba ungumzali kunye nomnye umntu oyityhefu kwaye uyayazi loo nto, beka yonke intliziyo nomphefumlo wakho ekufumaneni ilungelo lokugcina abantwana bakho. Akukho nto inokukhuseleka kunoko, kwinqaku elilumkileyo.