Umxholo
- Ukuphindaphinda izinto ezothusayo ezenziwe ngumzimba wam
- Ukudibana nomkhonto kwisikrweqe esikhanyayo
- Wena, mna kunye nokugula - akunakwenzeka ezintathu
- Ukubala iintsikelelo
- Ukuthanda iqabane lakho ekuguleni nasempilweni
Ndinelifa lokudibana neethishu ezichaphazela zonke iindawo zempilo yam. Kwaye ndinomtshato opheleleyo, owonwabileyo kunye nowonwabisayo, ubomi bosapho kunye nobomi bobungcali. Rhoqo, abantu abayaziyo imizabalazo yam bayandibuza ukuba ndiyenza njani, okanye siyenza njani.
Ukuphendula lo mbuzo, kuya kufuneka ndikuxelele ibali lam-ibali lethu.
Ukuphindaphinda izinto ezothusayo ezenziwe ngumzimba wam
Zange khe ndiyonwabele impilo “yesiqhelo” kuba umzimba wam awuzange usebenze ngendlela umzimba oqhelekileyo. Ndiyaziwa ukuba ndityhafe ngokungacwangciswanga kwezona ndawo zingathandekiyo, ukukhupha inyonga yam ngelixa ndikhwele ibhayisekile yam kunye nokususa igxalaba lam ebusuku ngelixa ndilele. I-retina yam, ndixelelwe ukuba yonakele kangangokuba ndinokusilela kumbono wam wembonakalo eya kwenza ukuqhuba kube ngumbono ombi kakhulu.
Kodwa kwiliso elingafundiswanga, ndijonga "njengesiqhelo" amaxesha amaninzi. Ndingomnye wezigidi zabantu abanesifo esingabonakaliyo esingazange sichongwe kude kube kamva ebomini. Ngaphambi koko, oogqirha babendithatha njengemfihlakalo yezonyango, ngelixa abahlobo ngamanye amaxesha babendibuza imibuzo ngezinto ezothusayo ezenziwa ngumzimba wam, kwaye ilizwe liphela alibonanga kwanto iqhelekileyo.
Iilebhu zam azange "ziqheleke" ngokwaneleyo ukuba nabani na andixelele imiba yam yempilo yonke isentloko, kwaye kude kube yiminyaka engama-40 xa kwafunyaniswa ukuba ndixilongiwe, bendihlala ndisiva umxholo othile "siyazi ukuba kukho into engalunganga emzimbeni wakho , kodwa asikwazi ukuqonda ukuba yintoni kanye kanye. ”
Ukuchongwa gwenxa kunye nokuqokelelwa kwesifo esibuhlungu esihlala sigcina phezulu, kubonakala ngathi sinqanyuliwe omnye komnye kwaye ngandlela thile sikhutshiwe kum.
Ukudibana nomkhonto kwisikrweqe esikhanyayo
Umyeni wam, uMarco, kwaye sadibana xa sobabini sasingabafundi be-PhD e-U. Berkeley.
Ukuqala kwakhe ukuza endlwini yam, ndandisachacha ekonzakaleni. Undiphathele isuphu nento angayenza ukunceda. Wanikela ngokuhlamba iimpahla kunye nothuli. Kwiintsuku ezimbalwa kamva, wandithatha ndaya kudibana nonyango.
Sasibaleka emva kwexesha, kwaye kwakungekho xesha lokuzonwabisa malunga neentonga. Undithwalile waqalisa ukubaleka, wafika apho ngexesha. Kwiinyanga ezimbalwa kamva, ndafa isiqaqa xa wayeqhuba. Khange ndibhaqwe ngelo xesha kwaye ndafumana isifo emva kweminyaka eliqela.
Kwiminyaka embalwa yokuqala, bekusoloko kunoluvo ekwabelwana ngalo lokuba ngenye imini ndiyakufumanisa ukuba yintoni engalunganga ngam kwaye ke ndiza kuyilungisa.
Xa ekugqibeleni kwafunyaniswa ukuba andinasifo, andizukuphola.
Wena, mna kunye nokugula - akunakwenzeka ezintathu
Ndinganeentsuku ezingcono nezibi, kodwa isigulo siyakuhlala sinam. Kwimifanekiso yethu sobabini, sihlala ubuncinci abathathu.Isigulo sam asikabonakali. Kwakungekho lula kumyeni wam ukuziqhelanisa nale nyani kunye nokuyeka ulindelo lokuba ndingaphola kwaye "ndiqheleke" ukuba sinokufumana nje ugqirha ofanelekileyo, iklinikhi elungileyo, ukutya okufanelekileyo, into elungileyo.
Ukuyeka ukulindela ukuphiliswa phambi kwesifo esinganyangekiyo akuthethi kuthi ulahle ithemba.
Kwimeko yam, indishiyile indawo yokuba ndibengcono, kuba ulindelo, ekugqibeleni, yayingelolindelo olungenakwenzeka lokuba "uphile" okanye "uqheleke" - imeko yam yesiqhelo kunye nokuba sempilweni kwam kwahlukile kunesiqhelo.
Ndinganika intetho malunga nesondlo phambi kwamakhulu abantu kwaye ndithethe ngokusasazeka kwamagxa, ndiphendule imibuzo ngobuso obuncumileyo kwaye ndimenywe njengesithethi. Ndingaphela isiqaqa ngesiquphe ngelixa ndizisa umvundla ezinkuku kusasa ndize ndivuke echibini legazi ngaphezulu kwesitya esaphukileyo, ndikhethe ubumdaka emanxebeni wam, ndixobuleke endlini ukucoca, ndiqhubeke nokuba Usuku olusebenzayo nolonwabisayo.
Ukubala iintsikelelo
Imeko yam yempilo ibinokwenza kube nzima kum ukuba ndiye eofisini ndiyokufumana umsebenzi olungelelanisiweyo kwindawo yokusebenza "eqhelekileyo". Ndiziva ndinethamsanqa lokuba nemfundo, uqeqesho kunye namava okusebenza ngendlela enobuchule engacwangciswanga kangako, endivumelayo ukuba ndiziphilise ngokwenza umsebenzi onomvuzo novuselelayo.
Ndingumgqirha wexesha elizeleyo wezempilo kwaye ndisebenza ngeefowuni zevidiyo kunye nabaxumi kwihlabathi liphela, ndilungiselela ukutya okunesondlo kunye nezicwangciso zokuphila zabantu abaneemeko zempilo ezingapheliyo nezintsokothileyo. Inqanaba lam leentlungu liyenyuka lisihla, kwaye ukonzakala kunye nokuphazamiseka kunokwenzeka ngamaxesha angalindelekanga.
Khawufane ucinge uhlala kwikhaya elihle, ngaphandle kokuba kusoloko kudlala umculo ongathandekiyo. Ngamanye amaxesha iyangxola kwaye ngamanye amaxesha iyathula, kodwa ayikhe ihambe nyani, kwaye uyazi ukuba ayinakuze yenzeke ngokupheleleyo. Ufunda ukuyilawula, okanye uphambene.
Ndinombulelo ongazenzisiyo ngokuthandwa kunye nothando.
Ndiyabulela uMarco ngokundithanda njengam, ngokwenza umsebenzi onzima wokwamkela izinto ezingalindelekanga, amahla ndenyuka, wokubukela ukubandezeleka kwam ngaphandle kokuhlala ndikwazi ukutshintsha. Ukundincoma nokuzidla ngam ngento endiyenza mihla le.
Ukuthanda iqabane lakho ekuguleni nasempilweni
Uninzi lwabantu abatshatileyo balandela ngokukhululekileyo umsitho wesiko lomtshato bethembisa ukuwathanda amaqabane abo "ekuguleni nasempilweni" - kodwa amaxesha amaninzi, siyayijongela phantsi into ethethwa koku kwimeko yesifo esinganyangekiyo ubomi bethu bonke, okanye isigulo esibuhlungu esiza ngesiquphe, njengoxilongo lomhlaza okanye ingozi embi.
Thina, baseNtshona, sihlala kwindawo apho ukugula, ngokubanzi, kuxhaphakile, iingozi zixhaphakile, kwaye umhlaza uxhaphake kakhulu kunokuba nabani na ebengathanda.
Kodwa ukuthetha ngokugula, iintlungu kunye nokufa kuyindlela ngeendlela.
Abantu abatshatileyo abaneenjongo ezintle basenokuthetha into ephosakeleyo okanye babaleke kuba besoyika ukuthetha into engeyiyo. Ngawaphi amagama alungileyo anokubakho ukuthetha ngento enzima kangaka?
Ndiyathemba ukuba sonke singawunyusa umdlalo wethu kwaye sibe nesibindi ngokwaneleyo sokubambela omnye nomnye kwimbandezelo yethu, ukuze sibenamandla okuba sibekhona kwaye sibonakalise ubuthathaka bethu. ukuba kuphela ngokuthi "andazi ukuba mandithini" xa kungekho magama ngelixa ubambe indawo ngothando nokunyaniseka.
Kunzima ukubamba eso sithuba, kubalulekile ukuba ukhumbule ukuba igcwele luthando, kwaye ikhanya ngokukhanya okunokunikwa luthando kuphela.
Ukukhanya okukhanyayo kukukhanya okuphilisayo. Hayi ngendlela engummangaliso yokususa ngokukhawuleza ukugula kunye nokubandezeleka, kodwa kubunzulu obunzulu ngakumbi nangakumbi bokusinika amandla kunye nethemba lokuqhubeka siphila, sisebenza, sithanda kwaye sincumile kwimizimba yethu engafezekanga kweli lizwe lingafezekanga.
Ndiyakholelwa ngokunzulu ukuba kungokuvuma nokuthanda ukungafezeki kwemizimba yethu kunye nehlabathi esinokuthi sibuqonde ngokwenyani ubuhle bobomi kwaye sinike kwaye samkele uthando.