Umxholo
- Ngaba ubudlelwane bunokuhlala 'buhlala bodwa' emva kokuhlala kunye?
- Zeziphi iingxaki zokuhlala kunye?
- Ukungabikho kobudlelwane obusondeleyo
- Unxibelelwano olubuthathaka
- Imiba yokuthemba
- Umzamo owongezelelweyo wokugcina
- Isiphelo
Ukuba nexesha lakho wedwa ungaziva ungumbono olungileyo ngamanye amaxesha; Nangona kunjalo, lininzi kuphela ixesha lodwa lokuba ubudlelwane bakho bume phambi kokuba buqhekeke kwaye buwe.
Ngelixa uninzi lwabantu abatshatileyo bexakekile bexhalabile malunga neendleko zokutshata, ezinye izibini zikhetha umtshato kwiholo ledolophu, kwaye kukho elinye iqela labantu elenza enye into ngokupheleleyo.
Nokuba abantu bakhetha ukutshata okanye hayi, izibini ezininzi zilandela indlela efanayo yobudlelwane apho zidibana khona, zithandane, kwaye ekugqibeleni zihlale kunye.
Kutshanje, nangona kunjalo, abanye abantu bayayitshintsha imbono yabo kwaye bakhethe ukuthandana kwaye babe nobudlelwane bexesha elide ngaphandle kokuhlala kunye nabantu ababathandayo. Le yile yaziwa njengokuhlala kunye.
Ngaba ubudlelwane bunokuhlala 'buhlala bodwa' emva kokuhlala kunye?
Ngaphambi kokuba sithethe malunga nokuba ukuhlala kunye kuyasebenza okanye akunjalo, masiqonde ukuba kuthetha ntoni.
Kwizibini ezitshatileyo, ukhetho lokuhlala ngokwahlukileyo kungenxa yeemeko zemali okanye ngenxa yokwahlukana okuziswa sisikolo okanye ngumsebenzi.
Njengokuba izibini zithande ukuba ngaphezu kweminyaka engama-60, esona sizathu siqhelekileyo sokuba kubudlelwane "bokuhlala kunye" kukuzimela.
Kwiqela elincinci lezibini, uninzi lwabantu ludla ngokuhamba kunye namaqabane abo, ngelixa kufikwa ebudaleni, izibini ezininzi azinazo ezo zicwangciso.
Ezi zibini zifuna ukuhlala endlwini yazo kwaye zinamathele kwindlela abaphila ngayo ngelixa behlala kubudlelwane obuzinikeleyo, ngokunjalo.
Ngapha koko, iqela labantu abadala linabantu abebetshatile ngaphambili kwaye banabantwana abakhulileyo. Aba bantu abafuni ukushiya inkululeko yabo kwaye baqale konke.
Kananjalo uninzi lwaba bantu alunakekeli amaqabane abo, kwaye abanye abafuni kwenza nzima kwilifa lomntwana wabo.
Ke ngoko, ukuhlala ngokwahlukeneyo kunye kunye nendlela yokuphila kuyabavumela ukuba baphile ubomi ngendlela abafuna ngayo, babe nendawo yabo yokwenza into yabo, kwaye babe nomntu omthandayo nothandwayo.
Zeziphi iingxaki zokuhlala kunye?
Njengazo zonke izigqibo, ukuhlala ngokwahlukeneyo kuza neziphene kunye nezibonelelo.
Ukuba nexesha elilodwa wedwa unokuziva ngathi yinto elungileyo, kodwa ke ukuba nexesha elininzi kakhulu kunokukwenza uxinezeleke kwaye ulwalamano lwakho luphele.
Ezinye izinto ezingalunganga eziza ngokuhlala kunye zizezi:
Ukungabikho kobudlelwane obusondeleyo
Abatshatileyo abonwabileyo bahlala beveza uthando lwabo ngezenzo zomzimba ezinje ngokwanga nangokuwola. Kwenzeka ntoni xa ufuna ukuwolwa ezinzulwini zobusuku?
Ukuvuka ebhedini yakho engenanto xa usebudlelwaneni kuyaguga, kwaye uya kufuna umntu oza kuwola naye.
Ukuhlala kunye ubudlelwane buhlala busebenza kuphela xa bobabini abantu befuna indawo yabo kwaye balungile ngokungabikho kolwalamano olusondeleyo.
Unxibelelwano olubuthathaka
Ukunxibelelana kungaphezu kokuthetha nje. Unxibelelwano olungenamlomo lubaluleke ngakumbi kunonxibelelwano lomlomo kubudlelwane bakho.
Isicatshulwa esilula kunye nomnxeba awunakuthatha indawo yovuyo lwakho xa ujongana nabantu obathandayo, okanye xa nithetha kusasa ekuseni xa nincumisana kwaye niphuzana.
Ngelixa sihlala kunye, unxibelelwano olubuthathaka luqhelekile, kwaye oku kukhokelela kubudlelwane obuthathaka.
Imiba yokuthemba
Ukwakha ukuthembana nomntu kulula ukwenza njalo xa ukhona ukuze ujonge indlela abaziphethe ngayo kwaye uyiqwalasele.
Ungazi njani ukuba uyaqhathwa xa iqabane lakho lingekho kuwe ixesha elininzi? Uyenza njani le micimbi yokuthemba?
Ukuhlala kubudlelwane 'bokuhlala kunye' kunokulandelwa kuphela ngabantu abomeleleyo kwiinkolelo zabo ukuze bahlale bethembekile. Abanye abantu bathanda ukusebenzisa obu budlelwane ukubona ukuba ngubani ongaphandle kwaye baphonononge nolunye ulwalamano oluvulekileyo.
Ukuba 'akukho ntambo iqhotyoshelweyo kubudlelwane' yinto ovumelana ngayo neqabane lakho, ke ukuhlala ngokwahlukeneyo kunokuba yinto elungileyo kuwe. Kodwa ukuba uhlala unemicimbi yokuthemba, ke thintela ukuba nolwalamano olunje.
Umzamo owongezelelweyo wokugcina
Ngaphandle kwezi zizathu zingasentla zokuthintela oku kuhlala ngokwahlukeneyo kunye, enye into engalunganga izisa kukuba ukuhlala ngokwahlukeneyo kunye kufuna ulondolozo olongezelelekileyo.
Yonke imiqobo kunye neengxaki zokungabikho kwindibano efanayo neqabane lakho ziya kukwenza ubuze ukuba ingaba ubudlelwane bakho bufanelekile na ukubeka lo mzamo.
Nangona iqabane lakho linokuba lihle, zininzi ezinye iintlanzi elwandle, kwaye xa ufumana umntu ofuna ukuhlala naye, unokufuna ukuphelisa ukuhlala kunye nobudlelwane.
Isiphelo
Umbuzo othi "ngaba ukuhlala kunye kuyasebenza okanye akunjalo" yinto exhomekeke ngokupheleleyo kuwe.
Ukuba uzimisele ukusebenzela ngaphandle, kuya kuba kuhle, kwaye ukuba awukwazi ukwenza njalo, ayisiyongcinga ilungileyo leyo. Ke, khetha ngobulumko.