Umxholo
- Akukho mntu ubonakalisa umtshato
- Abadala aBantwana boQhawulo-mtshato- ii-ACODs
- Imiba yokuthemba
- Iziyobisi
- Co-ukuxhomekeka
- Inzondo
- Uhlangabezana njani noqhawulo-mtshato?
Ngendlela ezininzi zoqhawulo-mtshato ezenzeka ngayo, apho umtshato omnye kwaba babini uphelela kuqhawulo-mtshato, amanani-manani ajikeleze abantwana boqhawulo-mtshato ayadimaza.
USam uqhawule umtshato noVivian xa abantwana babo bebeneminyaka esi-7, 5, no-3. Iinkundla, ziqonda ukuba inkohlakalo yomzimba iyinxalenye yokuphela komtshato weminyaka elishumi, yanika abantwana uSam kwihlazo likaVivian. Kule minyaka ilishumi izayo, iimfazwe eziqhubekayo zokugcinwa kwabantwana zigcina usapho lukwimeko engapheliyo yesimangalo.
Ii-ACODs, okanye abantwana abadala boqhawulo mtshato, ngokucacileyo babachaphazelekile sisiphithiphithi abazali ababengenako ukusebenza ngaso.
Baxutywa kumakhaya ngamakhaya, umcebisi kumcebisi, abantwana bajongana noxinzelelo olukhulu lweemvakalelo njengoko babehamba kubuntwana.
Ngeendlela ezininzi, abantwana babazali abaqhawule umtshato banokuziva ngathi baphulukene neminyaka yobomi babo.
Ekugqibeleni, iisuti zokugqibela zagqitywa, kwaye usapho lwaqhubeka ngobomi. Kwiminyaka kamva, abantwana baka Sam noVivian baphinda baphinda kwiintlungu ezibangelwe kukuqhawula umtshato kwabazali babo. Ngaphakathi nangaphandle kweeseshoni zokunika iingcebiso, "abantwana abadala" baqonda ukuba ukuba buhlungu kobuntwana babo kudala umkhuhlane oqhubekayo.
Akukho mntu ubonakalisa umtshato
Akukho namnye ongena emtshatweni elindele ukuba uqhawuke kwisithuba seminyaka embalwa.
Kodwa kuyenzeka. Ayishiyi kuphela esi sibini sishiyekileyo sineengxaki kwaye siphukile, kodwa sishiya uphawu olungacimekiyo kubantwana boqhawulo mtshato. Ke, uqhawulo mtshato lubachaphazela njani abantwana?
Xa abazali beqhawula umtshato, kuye kwathiwa, kufana nokukrazula inyama. Iziphumo zoqhawulo-mtshato kubazali nasebantwaneni zibuhlungu kwaye kuthanda ukulwenza buthathaka ulwalamano lomzali nomntwana.
Ngelishwa, uqhawulo-mtshato lwenziwa lube nzima nangakumbi xa abantwana bebandakanyeka. Nokuba ziziphumo zoqhawulo mtshato kubantwana abaselula okanye kubantu abadala, yilahleko ebuhlungu kwaye ngamaxesha anjalo abantwana basoloko besesichengeni sobunzima bengqondo nobomzimba.
Kubantwana abasabhadazayo, ngelixa bekwazi ukufikelela kwinqanaba elilinganayo nabantu bexesha labo kwiminyaka embalwa, ukanti ekuqaleni kukho uxinzelelo lokwahlukana okonyukayo, kunye nokulila, ukulibaziseka ekufezekiseni amanqanaba okukhula njengoqeqesho lwe potty, intetho, kunye nokuchaphazeleka kwendlela yokuziphatha enobundlongondlongo kunye nemisindo.
Aba bancinci babazali abaqhawule umtshato banokuba nengxaki yokulala.
Ngelixa wonke amava omtshato woqhawulo-mtshato ahlukile, abantwana abadala boqhawulo-mtshato bahlala bekwabelana ngeseti efanayo yeempawu kunye nemiceli mngeni, iinkalo zobuntu kunye namava abumba ukwenziwa kwezigqibo kunye nombala "womntwana" wehlabathi.
Abantwana boqhawulo-mtshato banotshintsho olupheleleyo kwindlela abasebenza ngayo, abacinga ngayo kunye nokwenza izigqibo.
Abadala aBantwana boQhawulo-mtshato- ii-ACODs
Kwesi siqwenga malunga nabantwana abanabazali abaqhawule umtshato, sijonga abantwana abadala boqhawulo mtshato kunye neziphumo ezibi zoqhawulo mtshato ebantwaneni.
Mhlawumbi ulijonga kwakhona eli nqaku kuba uzibalela phakathi komkhosi okhulayo wabantwana boqhawulo mtshato abaye bafumana iimpembelelo zoqhawulo mtshato emntwaneni.
Ukuba kunjalo, qaphela eli nqaku kwaye ubone ukuba ungazibona kwezinye zezi nkcazo. Kwaye, ukuba uyaziqonda ngokwakho kwesi siqwenga, cinga ngeendlela onokuthi uqhubeke ngazo ukusombulula ezinye zeengxaki ezijamelana nobunzima "ii-ACODs" zijongana nazo njengoko zingena nzulu ebudaleni.
Imiba yokuthemba
Ukujongana noqhawulo-mtshato lwabazali ebudaleni kuyabothusa abantwana abaye bangena nje ebudaleni.
Enye yeziphumo zengqondo zoqhawulo mtshato ebantwaneni kukuba umntu omdala Abantwana boQhawulo-mtshato bahlala bejijisana nemicimbi yokuthembana.
Emva kokunyamezela amaxesha angathandekiyo kwiminyaka ebalulekileyo yobuntwana, ii-ACODs zinokuba nengxaki ekukhuliseni ubudlelwane obunempilo / bokuthemba abanye abantu abadala. Emngciphekweni wokonzakala ngabantu abadala ababalulekileyo ebomini babo, Ii-ACOD zinokucotha ekuyekeni abantu bangene kwisangqa sabo sokuthembana.
Abantu abadala babazali abaqhawule umtshato bahlala bezithembile. Ii-ACOD ziyathemba ukubanakho kunye nokuqonda kwehlabathi ngaphezulu komntu wonke. Imiba yokuthembela kwabazali iyabakhathaza kwaye isitha ubuchule babo bokuthemba.
Ukucebisa Abantwana boqhawulo-mtshato kuphela kwendlela yokuqinisekisa ukuba bachacha kwiziphumo ezophula uqhawulo-mtshato kwaye bayakwazi ukwakha ubudlelwane obuhlala buhleli nobonelisayo.
Iziyobisi
Omnye weyona mingeni mikhulu yoqhawulo-mtshato kukuba abantwana boqhawulo-mtshato bahlala befumana izinto ezonakeleyo.
Xa abazali beqhawula umtshato, i abantwana babazali abaqhawule umtshato baphela sesichengeni sokusetyenziswa gwenxa kweziyobisi kunontanga babo abayinxalenye yeentsapho ezonwabileyo.
Umlutha uhlala uphakathi kweedemon ezijamelana nazo ii-ACOD emva kokuba abantwana boqhawulo-mtshato bevela kubantwana babo abanengxaki. Kwi iinzame zokuzalisa izithuba zovakalelo nezomoya emphefumlweni, abahlukumezekile ngenxa yoqhawulo mtshato abantwana banokubhenela etywaleni kunye / okanye kwiziyobisi ukonyusa okanye ukukhulula.
Ngokucacileyo, ukuba likhoboka leziyobisi kunokuzisa ezinye iingxaki kubomi be-ACOD kubandakanya ingxaki emsebenzini kunye nokungoneliseki kubudlelwane obusondeleyo. Umntwana wobudlelwane boqhawulo-mtshato ugcwele imicimbi emininzi kubudlelwane kunomntu oqhelekileyo.
Co-ukuxhomekeka
Ukuxhomekeka kweekhowudi yinkxalabo anokuhlangabezana nayo ii-ACOD ebudaleni. Emva kokubekwa kwindawo yokungazi ukuba "ngumkhathaleli" wabazali babo okanye abazali ababuthathaka ngokweemvakalelo, ii-ACODs zinokubonakala ngathi zikhawuleza "ukulungisa abanye" okanye banike ukhathalelo lomnye ngeendleko zabo.
Le nto yokuxhomekeka kwikhowudi ngamanye amaxesha ngamanye amaxesha khokela i-ACOD iqabane kunye nomlutha okanye umntu okhathazekileyo ngokweemvakalelo ofuna ukuba "abelekwe." Nge-ACOD exhomekeke kunye neqabane elonzakeleyo "kumdaniso wokuxhomekeka," i-ACOD inokuphulukana nemvo yesazisi sakho.
Jonga kwakhona:
Inzondo
Inzondo yabazali inokuba yinto ebalulekileyo kubudlelwane boMntwana oDala woQhawulo mtshato nabazali babo. Ukuba abazali be-ACOD babenengxaki yoqhawulo mtshato, i-ACOD inokuqhubeka caphukela ukulahleka kwexesha, umgangatho wobomi, ulonwabo, kunye nezinto ezinje.
Kudala emva kokuba uqhawulo-mtshato lugqityiwe, I-ACOD inokugcina inzondo enkulu komnye wabazali okanye kubo bobabini. Ingqumbo, ukuba ayithathelwa ngxoxo ngengxoxo kunye / okanye ngokucebisa, inokuba buthathaka ngokupheleleyo.
Inxaxheba ebekiweyo yomkhathaleli inokuvela kubomi be-ACOD xa umzali (abazali) wabo esiya kubomi kamva. Ukuba uMntwana oDala woQhawulo-mtshato "wayengumntwana okhuliswe ngumzali" kubomi bangaphambili, oko kukuthi, wabekwa kwindawo yokuxhasa imeko yomzali owonzakeleyo kwiminyaka eyadlulayo, banokuziva benyanzelekile ukuba bakhathalele umzali.
Le yimeko eyoyikekayo, kodwa iyenzeka ngesiqhelo esihle sokuhamba rhoqo.
Phakathi kweyona mizabalazo ilusizi ye-ACOD, kukuba balahlekelwe ngamaxesha obomi. Ngelishwa, akukho namnye kuthi onokubuyisa iintsuku esilahlekelwe ngumsindo, lusizi, ukoyikisa impilo kunye nokunye okunje. Ii-ACOD ezininzi zikhumbula ukuba zihlala zikwimeko yokudideka kunye noxinzelelo njengabantwana.
Kunzima “ukubanga ubuntwana” xa iintsuku zobuntwana ezazenzelwe ukuba zizaliswe luvuyo kunye nokuhleka zingcoliswe "yingxaki enkulu yosapho."
Ii-ACODs ezininzi kwindawo ebonakalayo ziya kuxelela abacebisi, "Ndivakalelwa ngathi ndilahlekelwe zizinto ezinkulu zobuntwana bam."
Uhlangabezana njani noqhawulo-mtshato?
Uqhawulo-mtshato lusizi kwaye lubuhlungu. Ngelixa olunye uqhawulo-mtshato luyimfuneko kwimpilo nakwintlalo-ntle yawo onke amaqela, uqhawulo-mtshato lunokubangela ubomi bexesha elinzima lweemvakalelo kwabo banxulumene nokudana komtshato.
Abantwana, ngelixa bekhuselwe kubuchule bokuqhubeka nokuphathwa gadalala ngokweemvakalelo kunye / okanye ukuxhatshazwa ngokwasemzimbeni phakathi kwamaqela, baqhubeka nobomi bokuzisola kunye noxinzelelo olubangelwa kukwahlukana kwabazali.
Ukuba ungumntu okhulileyo woQhawulo-mtshato, qaphela ukuba uzimanye nezigidi zabanye abasazama ukuhamba kwiimvakalelo ezinzulu eziqhubeka emva komtshato.
Fumana uncedo ukuba uyaqonda ukuba amanxeba amadala ayayonakalisa imeko yakho yangoku yengqondo kunye nenqanaba langoku lokusebenza. Nangona ukuyeka kungekho lula, elona cebiso lililo kuku lkwaye uzive uziva njani, thetha nomntu othembekileyo, oqeqeshiweyo, okanye ujoyine iqela lenkxaso kwaye zinike ixesha lokuphola.
Sadalelwa ukuba sichume; oku kusenokwenzeka kuwe. Yikholwe kwaye uhambe lula kuwe.