Umxholo
- Izizathu eziqhelekileyo zokuqhawula umtshato
- Lungenzeka njani uxolelwaniso?
- Amathuba wesibini -Uluxabisa njani ulwalamano lwakho
- 1. Ukuba nobabini anikho kwiimvakalelo zokuxoxa nganto, ke musani ukwenza njalo
- 2. Yiba neqabane lakho
- 3. Yiba nexesha lakho
- 4. Funda kwiimpazamo zakho
- 5. Lixabise iqabane lakho
- 6. Funda ukulalanisa
- 7. Nika isithuba iqabane lakho
- 8. Bonisa uthando kungekuphela ngezenzo kodwa nangamazwi
Uyibize ngokuba iyayeka, ubunokwanela kwaye ufuna nje ukuphuma kumtshato onetyhefu. Uqhawulo-mtshato yinkqubo ende neyothusayo eya kukukrokra ngokweemvakalelo hayi kuwe kuphela kodwa nakubantwana bakho.
Sonke siyazi ukuba uqhawulo-mtshato luthatha ixesha, inokuba ziinyanga kwaye ngelo xesha lide, nantoni na enokwenzeka. Ezinye izibini ziyahlukana, nangaphezulu, abanye bayaqhubeka nobomi babo kwaye abanye banokuba ngabahlobo ubuncinci kodwa kukho umbuzo omnye ekufuneka uphendulwe- "ingaba abantu abatshatileyo bangaze baxolelane?"
Ukuba ukwinyanga ezimbalwa zokuqala zothethathethwano lwakho loqhawulo-mtshato okanye uthathe isigqibo sokunikezela ngokwahlukana kwetyala, kunokwenzeka ukuba awuyi kuyithathela ingqalelo le ngcinga kodwa kwezinye izibini, ngasemva ezingqondweni zabo, lo mbuzo ukhona. Ngaba isenokwenzeka?
Izizathu eziqhelekileyo zokuqhawula umtshato
Nangona izizathu zoqhawulo mtshato zahlukile, kusekho izizathu eziqhelekileyo zokuba zenzeke. Ezona zizathu zixhaphakileyo zokuba kutheni abantu abatshatileyo beqhawula umtshato okanye bathathe isigqibo sokwahlukana zezi:
- Ukungathembeki emtshatweni
- Iziyobisi
- Ukuxhomekeka etywaleni okanye ezinye izinto
- Ukungabikho konxibelelwano
- Ukuthimba / Umona
- Ukuphazamiseka kubuntu, umzekelo. I-NPD okanye ukuphazamiseka kobuntu kwi-Narcissistic
- Ukungazinzi kwemali
- Ukuxhatshazwa ngokwasemzimbeni nangokweemvakalelo
- Ukungangqinelani ngokwesondo
- Ukuwa ngothando
Kubalulekile ukuba uqaphele ukuba ngaphandle kwezizathu zichazwe apha ngasentla, zinokubakho ezinye izinto ezininzi ezinokukhokelela kuqhawulo mtshato okanye ukwahlukana. Ngamanye amaxesha, izibini zigqiba kwelokuba zihambe ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo ukugcina nje intlonipho eseleyo omnye komnye. Njengoko besitsho, kungcono ukuba bahlukane ngeendlela kunokuba sihlale kunye kwaye sitshabalalisane. Nokuba siyintoni na isizathu, ukuba nje kungcono - uqhawulo-mtshato luyamkelwa.
Lungenzeka njani uxolelwaniso?
Ukuphendula umbuzo, ewe abantu abatshatileyo banokuqhelana nasemva kokuqhawula umtshato okanye ukwahlukana. Ngapha koko, ukuba isibini sithatha isigqibo sokufuna abacebisi okanye amagqwetha, abacebisi mtshato kwangoko. Babuza ukuba ingaba esi sibini singakulungela na ukuthatha iingcebiso ngomtshato okanye kwahlulwe ukulingwa. Ukuvavanya nje amanzi kwaye ubanike ixesha lokucinga kwakhona ngezigqibo zabo. Nangona kunjalo, nakumathuba okuba baqhubeke noqhawulo-mtshato, akukho mntu unokuthi ngenene ukuba iyaphi le nto.
Ngelixa ezinye izibini zigqiba ukohlukana ngelixa zilinde uthethathethwano loqhawulo mtshato ukuba lwenzeke, eyona nto yenzekayo kukuba bafumane ixesha lokuya bodwa. Njengokuba umsindo uyehla, ixesha liya kuphola amanxeba kwaye kwinkqubo yoqhawulo-mtshato kunokuza ukukhula komntu kunye nokuzazi.
Ukuba unabantwana, ibhondi onayo yomelele kwaye ngenxa yabo-uya kuqala ukubuza ukuba likho elinye ithuba. Ukusuka apho, ezinye izibini ziqala ukuthetha; baqala inkqubo yokuphilisa kwaye bakhule kwiimpazamo abazenzileyo. Esi sisiqalo sethemba, umbono wolo thando ucela ithuba lesibini.
Amathuba wesibini -Uluxabisa njani ulwalamano lwakho
Ngaba izibini ezahluliweyo ziyaxolelana? Ewe banako! Nabantu abatshatileyo emva koqhawulo-mtshato ngamanye amaxesha banokubuyelana emva kweminyaka emininzi. Akukho mntu unokuthi ikamva liphethe ntoni. Ukuba ukwinqanaba lobudlelwane bakho apho ucinga ukunika iqabane lakho ithuba lesibini, le yeyakho.
1. Ukuba nobabini anikho kwiimvakalelo zokuxoxa nganto, ke musani ukwenza njalo
Unokufumana elinye ixesha lokwenza oku. Kuphephe ukungqubana ngokuhlonipha iqabane lakho. Ziphephe iingxabano ezishushu xa kunokwenzeka.
2. Yiba neqabane lakho
Eli lithuba lakho lesibini kwakhona emtshatweni wakho. Lixesha lokuba ungaboni iqabane lakho njengeqabane lakho kodwa ube ngumhlobo wakho osenyongweni. Nizakube nichitha ixesha lenu kunye kwaye nangaphezulu kwento enomdla emtshatweni, bubuhlobo obubaluleke kakhulu ukuba ufuna ukuguga kunye. Yiba nguloo mntu iqabane lakho lingabaleka liye kuye ukuba unengxaki. Yiba khona ukumamela kwaye ungagwebi.
3. Yiba nexesha lakho
Yiya kwimihla, akufuneki ibekho kwindawo yokutyela entle. Ngapha koko, isidlo esilula kunye newayini sele sigqibelele. Yiya eholideyini nabantwana bakho. Ukuhambahamba ngexeshana okanye ukuzilolonga kunye.
4. Funda kwiimpazamo zakho
Thetha kwaye ulalanise. Sukuyiguqula ibe yingxoxo eshushu kodwa ixesha lithetha nentliziyo ngentliziyo. Unokuluqesha uncedo lomcebisi womtshato ukuba ucinga ukuba uyalufuna kodwa ukuba akunjalo, iintetho ngeveki ngobomi zinika intliziyo yakho ithuba lokuvula nje.
5. Lixabise iqabane lakho
Endaweni yokuhlala ujonga kwiintsilelo zeqabane lakho kutheni ungajongi kuyo yonke imizamo yakhe? Wonke umntu uneentsilelo kwaye nawe unazo. Ke endaweni yokulwa, lixabise iqabane lakho kwaye ubone ukuba zinokutshintsha njani izinto.
6. Funda ukulalanisa
Kusaza kubakho iimeko zokuba awuvumelani nezinto okanye iimeko. Endaweni yokuba nentloko elukhuni, funda ukulalanisa. Ihlala ikhona indlela yokuhlangabezana nesiqingatha kwaye kunokwenzeka ukuba ube nokuzincama okuncinci ukuphucula umtshato wakho.
7. Nika isithuba iqabane lakho
Oku akuthethi ukuba uyakwenza ukwahlukana kwetyala lonke ixesha usilwa. Endaweni yoko, ukuba uziva iqabane lakho lifuna indawo- sukumcaphukisa xa efuna iimpendulo. Vumela iqabane lakho libekho kwaye ngexesha xa sele elungile, ungathetha.
8. Bonisa uthando kungekuphela ngezenzo kodwa nangamazwi
Ayisiyontle kakhulu, yindlela nje yokuthetha yokuba uyamxabisa okanye uyamthanda loo mntu. Awunakukuqhela oku kodwa uhlengahlengiso oluncinci alunakulimaza, akunjalo?
Ngaba izibini ezahluliweyo zinokuxolelana nokuba sele zikwinkqubo yoqhawulo-mtshato okanye emva kwamava abuhlungu? Ewe kunokwenzeka, nangona le iyinkqubo apho isibini kufuneka siyifune kwaye siyisebenzele nzima. Akululanga ukuqala phantsi kodwa ngokuqinisekileyo sesinye sezigqibo ezomeleleyo ongazenziyo emtshatweni wakho kuphela kodwa nakubantwana bakho.