Umxholo
- Iindidi zokungathembeki
- Kutheni amaqabane ukukopela
- Ngoobani amaqabane ukukopela
- Ngaba ukungathembeki kuyaphula isivumelwano?
- Ungakusinda njani ukungathembeki- ukuba nihlala kunye
- Ungakusinda njani ukungathembeki- ukuba uyaphula umtshato
Lelinye lawona magama amabi anokuthethwa emtshatweni: umcimbi. Xa abantu bevuma ukutshata, bathembisa ukuthembeka omnye komnye. Ke kutheni ke ukungathembeki emtshatweni kuxhaphake kangaka? Kwaye umtshato ungasinda njani kukungathembeki?
Kuxhomekeka ekubeni luhlobo luni lophando olujongileyo kunye nokuba ucinga ukuba luyintoni na, kwindawo ethile phakathi kwama-20 ukuya kuma-50 eepesenti abantu abatshatileyo bayavuma ukuba banokwenza into nokuba nye.
Ukukopa emtshatweni yonakalisa umtshato, Ukuqhekeza isibini esasonwabile. Inokuphelisa ukuthembana kwaye emva koko ichaphazele bonke abo babangqongileyo.
Abantwana, izihlobo, kunye nabahlobo bayakuqaphela kwaye balahle ithemba kuba ubudlelwane ababekade bebuxabisile bunengxaki. Ngaba oko kuthetha ukuba ezinye izibini azinathemba xa kufikwa ekusindeni ukungathembeki emtshatweni?
Makhe sijonge kwiindidi zokungathembeki, kutheni amaqabane ekopela, kwaye abo bakopayo; emva koko uthathe isigqibo sokuba ngaba ukuqhubeka nokuthandana kunokwenzeka ngenene. Nokuba yeyiphi indlela, ukusinda ekukrexezeni emtshatweni kuya kuba ngumceli mngeni.
Jonga kwakhona:
Iindidi zokungathembeki
Zimbini iintlobo zokungathembeki: ezemvakalelo nezomzimba.Ngelixa ngamanye amaxesha iba yenye okanye enye, kukwakho noluhlu phakathi kwezi zimbini, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha lubandakanya zombini.
Umzekelo, umfazi unokuxelela zonke ezona ngcinga zakhe zisenyongweni kunye namaphupha akhe kumntu asebenza naye awela kuye, kodwa engakhange amange okanye abe nolwalamano olusondeleyo naye.
Kwelinye icala, indoda inokuba isabelana ngesondo kunye nomfazi ongumhlobo, kodwa ayithandani naye.
Isifundo esenziwe kwiYunivesithi yaseChapman sajonga ukuba zeziphi iintlobo zokungathembeki ezikhathaza iqabane ngalinye. Iziphumo zabo zigqibe kwelokuba, Amadoda anokucaphuka ngakumbi kukungathembeki emzimbeni, kwaye abantu basetyhini banokucaphuka ngakumbi kukungathembeki ngokweemvakalelo.
Kutheni amaqabane ukukopela
Kwakutheni ukuze aqhathe? Impendulo yalo mbuzo ingahluka kakhulu. Ngapha koko, yimpendulo eyodwa.
Impendulo ecacileyo inokuba kukuba iqabane belingonelisekanga ngokwasemoyeni okanye ngokwasemzimbeni emtshatweni, okanye bekukho uhlobo oluthile lomtshato, lubangela ukuba iqabane lizive lililolo.
Nangona kunjalo, baninzi abantu abatshatileyo, enyanisweni, abonelisekileyo kodwa bahlala bekopa. Omnye umbuzo omkhulu ukubuza iqabane elonileyo ngulo: Ngaba ikhona into oyenzileyo engalunganga xa ubuqhatha?
Abanye abatshatileyo bayakwazi ukuthethelela indlela abaziphethe ngayo ukuya kwinqanaba lokungayiboni imbi. Ngelixa inyani ikukuba basophule isifungo somtshato, ngamanye amaxesha inyani abantu abakhetha ukuyikholelwa ipeyinta njengexhoba, endaweni yenye indlela ejikelezileyo.
Ezinye izizathu zinokuba likhoboka lesini okanye ulandelwe ngumntu ongatshatanga naye, kwaye isilingo siyabanxiba ngokuhamba kwexesha. Kwaye, ukubabaza kunzima ukungahoyi.
Abanye bakufumana kulula ukuwela kwisilingo phantsi kweemeko zoxinzelelo, kwaye uninzi luyavuma kwimicimbi ngexesha lokuhamba kwezoshishino xa bekude neqabane labo, kwaye amathuba okuba bafumane ukuba mancinci.
Olunye uphononongo luye lwagqitywa kwelokuba ukungathembeki emtshatweni kukumfuza. Ngokophando olwenziwe yiScientific American, amadoda ayeneVasopressin eyahlukileyo kunokwenzeka ukuba abeneso lokubhadula.
Ngoobani amaqabane ukukopela
Ngaba amaqabane ayakopela nabantu angabaziyo okanye abantu ababaziyo? Ngokuya kugxila kwiNtsapho, kunokwenzeka ukuba ngabantu esele bebazi. Isenokuba ngabantu osebenza nabo, abahlobo (nokuba ngabahlobo abatshatileyo), okanye amadangatye amadala abuye aqhagamshelene nawo.
I-Facebook kunye namanye amaqonga e-intanethi enza ukuba unxibelelwano nabo lufikeleleke ngakumbi, nokuba ekuqaleni unxibelelwano lwalungenatyala.
Uvavanyo olwenziwe ngu-YouGov kwiphephandaba i-The Sun lase-Bhritane luchaze ukuba ukukopa amaqabane:
- I-43% yayithandana nomhlobo wayo
- I-38% yayithandana nomntu osebenza naye
- I-18% yayijola nomntu ongamaziyo
- I-12% yayinomntu othandana naye
- I-8% yayithandana nommelwane, kwaye
- I-3% yayinolwalamano nesalamane seqabane.
Ngaba ukungathembeki kuyaphula isivumelwano?
Lo mbuzo ubuqu kwaye ufuna ukukhangela umphefumlo. Ngokwabaphandi uElizabeth Allen noDavid Atkins, kwabo baxela amaqabane baye babelana ngesondo ngaphandle komtshato, malunga nesiqingatha semitshato emva kokungathembeki ekugqibeleni kukhokelela kuqhawulo mtshato.
Abanye bathi lo mcimbi ubangelwe yimicimbi ebesele ikhokelela kuqhawulo mtshato, kwaye abanye bathi umcimbi lowo ngowona ukhokelela kuqhawulo mtshato. Nokuba yeyiphi indlela, abaphandi bacebisa ukuba ngelixa isiqingatha siqhekeka, isiqingatha sokwenene sihlala kunye.
Enye into ebalulekileyo ebonakala ngathi inefuthe kwizibini ezininzi ukuba zihlale kunye emva kokungathembeki kuxa kukho abantwana ababandakanyekayo. Ukophula umtshato phakathi kwesibini esitshatileyo esingenabantwana kuyinto encinci.
Kodwa xa kukho abantwana, amaqabane athambekele ekuqwalaseleni kwakhona ukophula yonke iyunithi yosapho, kunye nezixhobo, ngenxa yabantwana.
Ekugqibeleni, 'umtshato ungasinda na?' yehla kwizinto ezinokuhlala kunye neqabane ngalinye. Ngaba iqabane elikhohlisayo lisamthanda umntu abatshate naye, okanye iintliziyo zabo ziqhubekile?
Ngaba iqabane eliqhathiweyo likulungele ukujonga ngaphaya komtshato kwaye ligcine umtshato uphila? Kuxhomekeke kumntu ngamnye ukuba aphendule ngokwakhe.
Ungakusinda njani ukungathembeki- ukuba nihlala kunye
Ukuba wena neqabane lakho nigqibe kwelokuba nihlale kunye ngaphandle kokungathembeki, eyona nto inye ekufuneka uyenzile kukubona ingcali yomtshato kwaye mhlawumbi ujonge namaqela enkxaso yokungathembeki.
Ukubona umcebisi kunye-kwaye ngokwahlukeneyo-kunokukunceda usebenze ngemicimbi ekhokelela kulwalamano kwaye kuncede nobabini nigqithe kulomtshato. Ukwakhiwa kwakhona kwegama eliphambili kule minyaka ilandelayo emva komcimbi lowo.
Umcebisi olungileyo wemitshato unokukunceda wenze njalo, ngezitena ngezitena.
Owona mqobo mde wokudlula kukuqhatha iqabane ukuba lithathe uxanduva olupheleleyo, kunye nelinye iqabane ukuba lixole ngokupheleleyo.
Ke ukuphendula umbuzo othi "ingaba ubudlelwane bungasinda ekukopeni?" Ayizukwenzeka ngobusuku obunye, kodwa amaqabane azinikeleyo omnye komnye angadlula kunye.
Ungakusinda njani ukungathembeki- ukuba uyaphula umtshato
Nokuba uqhawula umtshato kwaye ungasamboni lowo wawutshate naye, ukungathembeki kuye kwababeka uphawu kuni nobabini. Ngokukodwa xa ubudlelwane obutsha buvela, ngasemva kwengqondo yakho unokungathembeki komnye umntu okanye kuwe.
Ukuthetha nonyango kunokukunceda wenze intsingiselo yexesha elidlulileyo kwaye kukuncede uqhubele phambili kubudlelwane obuphilileyo.
Ngelishwa, akukho wand imilingo ukugcina wonke umntu ekhuselekile ukungathembeki emtshatweni isitayile = "ubungakanani befonti: 400;">. Kwenzeka kwizibini ezitshatileyo kwihlabathi liphela. Ukuba kuyenzeka kuwe, sebenza ngokusemandleni akho, kwaye ufune uncedo.
Awunakho ukuyilawula into eyenziwa liqabane lakho, kodwa ungalawula indlela eya kubuchaphazela ngayo ubomi bakho bekamva.