Umxholo
Kukangaphi wena neqabane lakho nithetha nize nive ngathi aniviwa? Unxibelelwano lubalulekile xa kuziwa kukuziva uviwe kwaye uqondwa ..... kodwa sifika njani kwindawo apho ukuziva ukuva nokuqonda kuyinto ephambili? Kungokumamela. Ukuba ngumphulaphuli obalaseleyo kuthatha ixesha, kuthatha ukuziqhelanisa, kwaye kuthatha ukuzimisela ukwenza njalo.
Ukumamela yinxalenye yonxibelelwano, kuyanceda ekwakheni ukusondelelana, kwaye yindlela yokwazisa iqabane lakho ukuba libalulekile kwaye lixabisekile.
Ukuze wakhe uthando, ukuthembana kunye nokusondelelana kubudlelwane bakho, kufuneka ubonakalise amandla okuphulaphula ngenyameko kwiqabane lakho.
Ukumamela kuphindwe kabini, kukuva into ethethwa liqabane lakho kwaye ubuze imibuzo ukuze ufumane ukucaca, ukufumana ukuqonda, ukuba nomdla, kunye nokubonisa umdla kwincoko.
Ukunceda iqabane lakho lizive lixhaswa, liqondwa, kwaye liviwa kubudlelwane ziindlela zokwakha ubudlelwane, kunye nokukwazi ukuvelana, ukubonisa ukuqonda, kunye nokujonga ukuba lithini iqabane lakho.
"Ukusondelelana kukusebenzisana apho amaqabane afumana iimvakalelo ezilungileyo malunga nabo kunye namaqabane abo kwaye ukusebenzisana kubonakalisa ukuqonda komnye nomnye", (Prager, 1995).
Ungabakha njani ubuhlobo kunye nendoda okanye umfazi
Kubalulekile ukuba uqonde ukuba ukusondelelana kudalwe ngaphaya kwegumbi lokulala, kwaye kuyenziwa xa izibini zibandakanyeka kwincoko, apho banxibelelana ngokwasemoyeni nangokwengqondo. Ingaphezulu kwesenzo somzimba, sisakhono sokuzibandakanya ngokweemvakalelo nangokwengqondo neqabane lakho, ngaphandle kokuchukumisa ngokwasemzimbeni.
Ukumamela yinxalenye yendlela yokwakha ukusondelelana emtshatweni, ukusondelelana kukubonana kwaye kuya kufuneka ubandakanyeke ngokwasemoyeni nangokwengqondo kunye neqabane lakho ukuze kufumaneke ulwalamano lwenene.
Ke, xa ucinga ngobugcisa bokumamela, iya isiba liqabane lakho, kukususa ingqondo yakho kuyo yonke enye into kwaye ujolise ingqalelo kwiqabane lakho. Xa usenza oku, ubeka ithoni kulwalamano oluthi, ayikho enye into ebalulekileyo, unomdla wam ongaphelelanga, ubalulekile, kwaye okubalulekileyo ngoku yindlela oziva ngayo kunye nale uyithethayo.
Nazi iindlela ezili-10 zokwakha ubudlelwane obusondeleyo ngokumamela ekufuneka uyilandele:
- Yabelana ngeengcinga zakho kunye neemvakalelo zakho omnye komnye kwaye uqinisekise iimvakalelo zomnye nomnye.
- Phendulani omnye nomnye ngendlela enenza niziva kamnandi nobabini.
- Mamela ngentliziyo nangengqondo evulekileyo.
- Susa zonke iziphazamiso eziya kukugcina ungamameli ngenyameko.
- Dlulisa uvelwano kunye nokuqonda.
- Buza ukucacisa kunye nemibuzo evulelekileyo.
- Sukuzikhusela, ugxeke okanye ugwebe.
- Zama ukujonga imeko ngokwembono yeqabane lakho.
- Yiyeke i-ajenda yakho kwaye ucinga ukuba iqabane lakho liza kuthini.
- Sukuyenza incoko ngawe kwaye ungazami ukulungisa ingxaki.
Ukwakha ulwalamano ngokusimamela kubalulekile kulwalamano lwakho kwaye kubonisa ukuba ulixabise kangakanani iqabane lakho, kunye nobudlelwane, kwaye kumalunga nokuzalisekisa isidingo, kunye nokuphendula kwiimfuno zeqabane lakho.