Umxholo
- 1. Yiba nezinto zakho
- 2. Ukuphucula ubukrelekrele bakho bemvakalelo (i-EQ)
- 3. Chonga izinto ezikubangela ube neengxaki
- 4. Nyusa amandla akho okunxibelelana
- 5. Hlala unomdla
- 6. Ufuna okungakumbi
Ukutyhubela iminyaka yokunika iingcebiso kubantu abatshatileyo ngaphambi okanye ngexesha lomtshato, indlela yam iyaqhubeka ukuvela. Ewe, sijongana nengxaki kunye nemiceli mngeni ngokunceda umntu ngamnye kubudlelwane azise ulusu ngakumbi kumdlalo, abonakalise ngakumbi, kwaye enze utshintsho lomntu ngamnye ukuphucula ubudlelwane.
Ungayibaleka imiceli mngeni, kodwa iya kuqhubeka nokuthatha amandla akho kwaye ayizukufikelela ndawo. Kwaye oku kukushiya uzive ubambekile. Kwaye, ngokunyanisekileyo ngubani ofuna ukubambeka?
Iintsuku 'ukuba, emva koko' (ukuba iqabane lam liyakwenza oku, ndiza kuyenza loo nto) ndithathe isitulo esingasemva sokufuna okungakumbi ebantwini ukuba baphile obona bomi babo bungcono, bathembeke, kwaye bathathe amanyathelo afanelekileyo okuzisa obona buntu babo emtshatweni wabo.
Kuba ayidinisi ukulinda omnye umntu atshintshe? Ngaba awufuni kuthatha amanyathelo ekufuneka uwenzile ukuze uzive ngcono ngawe kwaye ufune ngakumbi emtshatweni wakho okanye kubudlelwane bakholelwa njalo?
1. Yiba nezinto zakho
Chonga ngokulula imiceli mngeni yakho, imiba yakho, kwaye ujonge izinto ekufuneka uzitshintshile. Sonke sinento yokutshintsha. Yeyakho, yenze, kwaye uthathe amanyathelo afanelekileyo okuhambisa indlela entsha.
Indlela ekunika amandla kunye nokugcina uxanduva lokuphendula kuwe nakumtshato wakho.
Musa ukuhamba umngeni wakho, balekela kubo. Bamkele kwaye uyazi ukuba le yindlela yokuphila ubomi obuzalisekileyo.
2. Ukuphucula ubukrelekrele bakho bemvakalelo (i-EQ)
I-EQ ikwazi ukulawula iimvakalelo zakho kwaye ichaze indlela oziva ngayo komnye umntu ngaphandle kokuqhuma. Kubaluleke kakhulu kubudlelwane - kokubini emsebenzini nasekhaya. I-EQ inezinto ezine:
- Ukuzazi- Ukukwazi kwakho ukuziqonda ngokwakho indlela ocinga ngayo, osabela ngayo, oziva ngayo kunye nokuziphatha kwakho ngalo mzuzu nakwixesha elide.
- Ukuzilawula- Isakhono sakho sokuzilawula sixhomekeke kukuzazi kunye nokukwazi kwakho ukusebenzisa ulwazi lwakho lweemvakalelo zakho kwaye uhlale ubhetyebhetye ukukhokela indlela oziphethe ngayo ngokuqinisekileyo.
- Ulwazi loluntu- Amandla akho okuqonda iimvakalelo zomnye umntu kwaye uqonde ukuba kuqhubeka ntoni ngabo. Ukujongwa ngaphakathi kwaye ungagqitywa.
- Ulawulo lobudlelwane- Umdibaniso wokuzazi, ukuzilawula, kunye nokwazisa kwezentlalo ukuphucula ubudlelwane kunxibelelwano.
3. Chonga izinto ezikubangela ube neengxaki
Sonke sinokubangela. Ke nceda ungabi ngumntu okholelwa ngobuxoki ukuba baxolelwe kule nto. Bazintoni? Kutheni unazo nje? Bavela phi? Leliphi ixesha ozifumene ngokwahlukileyo kwezi zinto zibangela? Ngaba umntu okanye into ethile yababuyisela ebomini bakho? Ukuba kunjalo, uza kwenza ntoni ukuze usebenze ngazo?
4. Nyusa amandla akho okunxibelelana
Ewe, kunokuthethwa ngokulula kunokwenza, kodwa kunokufezekiswa. Izakhono ezimbalwa ezikhawulezayo zokuphumeza ebomini bakho:
- Qala ngokuqalisa okuthambileyo.Buza, eli lixesha elifanelekileyo lokuthetha okanye ngaba elinye ixesha liza kusebenza ngcono?
- Jika uye kwiqabane lakho. Xa iqabane lakho lifikelela 'kwiibhidi' (uJohn Gottman), jika uye kubo nokuba okwangoku awukho kwimeko. Oku kuyakuzisa unxibelelwano phakathi kwenu nobabini. '
- Thatha ixesha lokuphumla. Ngaba ndiziva ndonganyelwe? Cela ixesha lokuphuma (ixesha elifutshane) lokuzihlanganisa okanye ukuzola. Nangona kunjalo, zibophezele ekubuyeni kwincoko.
- Mamela uve. Ewe, sonke siyamamela kodwa ingaba siyaliva iqabane lethu okanye ngaba silinde nje ukuba bayeke ukuthetha ukuze sikwazi ukuthetha ngathi.
Kubalulekile ukuba umamele, uqinisekise, kwaye ucacise. Uya kumangaliswa yindlela ukuphindaphinda into ethethwe ngumntu, kusenza siqonde ukuba besingamamelanga ncam.
- Yiba khona. Cima itv, beka ifowuni yakho phantsi, uvale ikhompyuter yakho. Ngaphandle koko, zibaluleke nini ezo zinto ngaphezu komntu ohleli ngaphesheya wasicela ukuba siqwalaselwe? Andithandabuzi ukuba u-Facebook okanye u-Instagram banokulinda (ewe, kancinci, kodwa yinyani).
5. Hlala unomdla
Khumbula emva kwiintsuku zokuqala zokuthandana, kwakumnandi kangakanani ukufunda ngomntu oya kuthi ekugqibeleni abe liqabane lakho okanye iqabane lakho? Zayaphi ezo ntsuku? Usababuza ngemini yabo? Yintoni abanomdla kuyo? Ukuzonwabisa kwabo? Ngaba niyathetha ngezinto ezimnandi nezonwabisayo eninokuzenza kunye? Ngaba ungumntu onomdla kwaye uhlala unomdla ngeqabane lakho okanye iqabane lakho? Esi sisitshixo kulwalamano oluhlala ixesha elide nolusempilweni.
6. Ufuna okungakumbi
Oku kuthetha, kodwa indlela ekhuthaza impilo nentlalontle, ukukhula kunye, ukuncedana ukufikelela kumandla akho apheleleyo, kwaye ungazinzisi.
Ukufunda kunye nokuqonda ukuba umntu ngamnye uyaqhubeka nokuba namandla okuqhubeka nokukhula kwaye abe ngoyena mntu ulungileyo.
Ukufuna okungaphezulu akubeki ulindelo oluphezulu olungenakufezekiswa, kodwa kukusebenzela ukunika okungaphezulu kancinci kunangaphambili.
Ubudlelwane buyaphumelela xa umntu ngamnye ebonisa ngenjongo, ingqalelo, kunye nokubakho. Ngaba uyafuna ukuba ngoyena mntu ulungileyo hayi kuwe kuphela kodwa nolwalamano lwakho?