Umxholo
- Ithiyori yokudlulisa imvuselelo
- Lumka nangona kukho umngcipheko obandakanyekayo ekwabelaneni ngesondo
Ukwahlukana ngokwesondo kunamandla, kuyathandeka kwaye kuyasendle - amanqanaba okusondelelana ahlukile kwaye ayilunganga, ukuba isini semihla ngemihla sinokulunga njengokwabelana ngesondo ngoko ke akukho mntu uya kuzama ukuqonda indlela yokuphilisa umlingo owomileyo kubudlelwane babo.
Ukwahlukana ngokwesondo kuhlala kuyinto ebaluleke kakhulu kunokwabelana ngesondo okuqhelekileyo kodwa umbuzo omkhulu ngowokuba kutheni ukwahlukana ngesondo kunesiphumo esinje?
Ithiyori yokudlulisa imvuselelo
Le ithiyori yoqhawulo-mtshato ibonisa ukuba imeko yeemvakalelo kunye neyokuvuka oye wafikelela kuyo ngexesha lokuqhekeka kwakho yajika yaba ngamandla ezesondo njengendlela yokuyiqhuba.
Uvavanyo lwebhulorho olwenziwa nguDonald Dutton kunye noArthur Aron ngo1974 ngumzekelo weklasikhi wendlela uloyiko olunokukhuthaza ngayo iimpendulo ezahlukeneyo ekutsaleni kunendawo 'eqhelekileyo'.
Kolu vavanyo, umfazi okhangayo wanxibelelana namadoda ngelixa babemi kwibhulorho eyoyikisayo okanye ibhulorho eqhelekileyo ekhuselekileyo. Emva koko, bagqiba iphepha lemibuzo apho abo bakwibhulorho eyoyikisayo babonisa inqanaba eliphezulu kakhulu lokuvuselela inkanuko yesini.
Ngaba kunokwenzeka ukuba xa yonke into ilahlekile, xa usazi ukuba lixesha lokuba uyeke uqhubeke, uloyiko lokuphulukana nomntu omthandayo kunye noloyiko ngekamva lakho elizayo likhuthaza umzuzu wokugqibela wesini esomeleleyo sokuqhekeka kwesini?
Ngokuqinisekileyo kubonakala ngathi kunokuba negalelo kwiziphumo zokwahlukana kwesondo.
Libali elifanayo elinokwabelana ngesondo nalo, nangona ukukhutshwa koloyiko lokuphulukana kunokuba sesona sithako sibangela impendulo yokuvuselela inkanuko.
Into enomdla kukuba, ithiyori yokuvuselela inokubangelwa ziimvakalelo ezilungileyo nezingalunganga nazo zithetha ukuba kunokwenzeka ngokupheleleyo ukuba wenze le mpendulo ngokuthanda, ukuphucula ukudibana kwakho ngokwesondo ukuba unqwenela!
Ke ukuba awukaqiniseki malunga nokwahlukana kwesondo, nantsi into ekufuneka uyazi.
Ukwahlukana ngesondo kukulalana kwakho neqabane lakho kungekudala, ngexesha okanye emva kokuba nahlukene kwaye kunokuba yinto emangalisayo.
- Uninzi lwabantu lukujonga ukwahlukana ngokwesondo njengolungcono kunokwakheka ngokwesondo.
- Uhlobo olonwabisayo lokwahlukana ngokwesondo lukhulu kuba wena neqabane lakho niyazi ngokupheleleyo ukuba ngekhe niphinde nibe nethuba lokulala nalo mntu elidityaniswa yimpendulo evuselelayo.
- Kukuvalelisa kokugqibela.
- Ukwahlukana ngokwesondo kukuziphatha okunyanzelekileyo ngokwesondo okutyhala omabini amaqela ukuba atyiwe ngokupheleleyo nokuba kulomzuzu.
Xa isibini sibandakanyeka ekwahlukaneni ngesondo, kunokwenzeka ukuba bazele ngokupheleleyo ngalo mzuzu, bonwabele ixesha labo elilinganiselweyo kunye nomntu ababathandayo.
Ukuzibandakanya kuyo yonke imvakalelo yokugqibela kunye namava abawonwabeleyo kwaye mhlawumbi bathathe kancinci ixesha elide. Ngelixa usazi ukuba ngekhe liphinde libekho elo thuba. Ukwahlukana ngokwesondo kuyenzeka okanye kuyasweleka kwaye kukhuthaza umbono wokubakho ngokwesondo esihlala sikuthatha kancinci kubomi bemihla ngemihla.
Akukho sithintelo xa kuziwa ekwahlukaneni ngokwesondo, yindlela yokwenene yokwenyani yokuphendula kunye nesishwankathelo sayo yonke into enakha nibe kunye, yonke into enikunye kunye nayo yonke into eniya kuba ningenayo kwikamva- ayothusi loo nto ilunge kakhulu.
Lumka nangona kukho umngcipheko obandakanyekayo ekwabelaneni ngesondo
Ukwahlukana ngokwesondo kubhetele nangakumbi xa ubudlelwane bebulungile, kodwa nobabini niqondile ukuba lixesha lokwahlukana. Ikhuthaza uthando kwaye kubonakala ngathi yeyona ndlela ilungileyo yokubonisa ukuvalelisa kunye neprojekhthi yalo lonke uthando eniva ngalo omnye komnye.
Nangona kunjalo, kwezinye iimeko ukwahlukana ngokwesondo kunokuba yingozi kunokuba:
- Yenza ukudideka
- Ingakumbi ukuba elinye iqela alikulungelanga ukuvumela ubudlelwane babo buhambe. Inokudida iimvakalelo kwaye ikwenze ubuze ukuba ingaba uthathe isigqibo esifanelekileyo na. Inokwenza nokuba kubenzima ukuqhubeka nobomi.
- Buyela komnye umntu kubudlelwane obundlongondlongo okanye obuyingozi.
- Ngenxa yokudideka okubangelwe ngokwasemphefumlweni nasengqondweni, inokubatsalela abantu emva kubudlelwane ekufuneka ngokungathandabuzekiyo babaleke kubo.
- Ingatsala ikhefu kwaye ijike ubudlelwane obubi ngokuhamba kwexesha. Ingakumbi ukuba uye wabhideka ngenxa yokwahlukana okufunekayo kwaye uzame ukubuvuselela ubudlelwane.
- Setyenziselwa ukugcina umntu esondele ukuba elinye iqabane alifuni kumyeka.
Ngokufanelekileyo, owona mgaqo ubalaseleyo wesithupha xa kufikwa ekwahlukaneni ngesondo kukuzonwabisa kuphela ukuba usakhathalelane kwaye ufuna ukuhlala ungumhlobo kwaye ukuba nobabini nifuna ukwahlukana. Ngale ndlela eminye imingcipheko yokuqhawula isondo iyancitshiswa.
Ukuqukumbela ukwahlukana, isondo ngamava anxilisayo kwaye amangalisayo kwimeko elungileyo, kodwa umngcipheko wokudideka ngokweemvakalelo unokuphakama.
Kubalulekile ukuba uqaphele ukuba ukwahlukana ngokwesondo kufuneka kuhlangane kwaye kulunge kuphela ukuba omabini amaqela azimisele ukuphuma kubudlelwane kwasekuqaleni.
Yimeko yomngcipheko omkhulu ukuba uzama ukusebenzisa ukwahlukana ngokwesondo njengendlela yokusombulula ingxaki.
Oko kwathethi, akunyanzelekanga ukuba ulinde ikhefu ukuze uzokufumana imimangaliso yesini, ungaqala ukuxabisa isithandwa sakho ngalo lonke ixesha usondele ngokungathi awuzukubabona kwakhona kwaye ujonge indlela yakho yemihla ngemihla Ukwabelana ngesondo kunye nokusondelana kuphucula amatyeli alishumi.