Umxholo
Ukuthandana yinxalenye yobomi, umzuzu esiqala ukuba nomdla kubantu besini esahlukileyo, yinxalenye yento esiyifunayo kude kube ngumhla wokufa kwethu, kwanezibini ezitshatileyo ezisempilweni ziyaqhubeka ukuthandana.
Nangona kunjalo, ukuthandana nomntu akukuniki ukufikelela okukhethekileyo kubuntu babo bonke. Kuthetha nje ukuba usondele kwaye usondele ngakumbi kunabahlobo.
Ukuseta imida ekubonaneni kuhlala kungumbono olungileyo. Ukwazi ukuba zeziphi iziseko ezahlukeneyo ezithandanayo kunokuba luncedo ekuqinisekiseni ukuba awungxami kwizinto, gcina abo bathembekileyo kubude beengalo, kwaye ungazibekeli ukusilela.
Abantu abaninzi bayajola ukuze bafumane into abayifunayo komnye umntu kwaye bayilahle njengee napkin ezisetyenzisiweyo emva kokuba zenziwe. Kunjalo ngoba Wonke umntu kufuneka alandele ukuqala kokuthandana imithetho ukunqanda imingxunya yolwalamano olugcwele imicimbi enzulu yomda kubudlelwane kamva.
Ukudala kunye nokuseta imida kubudlelwane bokuthandana yindlela enameva, abantu abambalwa bayithathela ingqalelo njengesithintelo kuphuhliso lwababini kuba izinto ezininzi zishiyiwe zingachazwanga.
Andiqinisekanga ukuba useta njani imida yokuthandana esempilweni? Bukela le vidiyo inengqiqo:
Imida yezemali ngelixa uthandana
Ngokwesiko lesiNtu, indoda iya kuthwala iindleko zayo yonke imisebenzi yokuthandana ukutsala umfazi. Ikwabonisa ubuchule babo bezemali njengomboneleli womfazi wakhe kunye nabantwana. Ke kukwakho namadoda amaninzi afuna nje ukubonisa ukutsala abantu basetyhini.
Abanye abantu basetyhini basebenzise amakhubalo abo ukufumana ukuthanda abantu, kodwa emva koko, baninzi abantu abenza okufanayo.
Ukukhusela iiasethi zakho zemali kubantu abakhohlisayo basebenzise uthando kunye nothando ukukhetha isipaji sakho sesinye sezizathu zokuba kutheni kufuneka wenze imida ekuthandaneni.
Into yokuqala ekufuneka uyikhumbule yile ukungabi nesisa ngokugqithileyo, nokuba unako. Ufuna ukuba umntu athande wena, hayi imali yakho.
Indlela owenza ngayo ngelixa uthandana nokuthandana, kufanele ukuba kube yiminyaka elishumi emva kokuba utshatile, ngaloo ndlela izinto ezilindelweyo zigcinwa ziyinyani.
Kukho nezibini ezineemvumelwano zomthetho (njenge-prenup) ngelixa zihlala kunye ukuze zizikhusele ekuqhekekeni okungahambelaniyo ekwabelaneni ngeeasethi. Imali kufuneka igcinwe yeyakhe, kunye kunye.
Xoxa ngamalungiselelo kunye nokudala ukuseta imida esempilweni kubudlelwane ngesihloko kunye nokuba singatshintsha njani emva komtshato.
Jonga kwakhona:
Imida yomzimba ekuthandaneni
Ukuthandana ekugqibeleni kukhokelela kwisini.
Abanye abantu bade bayenze ngaphambi kokuba babe sisibini ngokusemthethweni, kwaye ukuba bayayenza rhoqo ngokwaneleyo, inokubakhokelela ekubeni bazinze. Kukho ezinye izibini ezithandwayo zothando, emva koko zide zikhokelele kwisini, ngamanye amaxesha nasemtshatweni ngaphambi kwesondo.
Izibini zenziwe ngabantu ababini abahlukeneyo, umbono wabo wokuthandana kunye nesondo usenokungafani.
Elinye iqela linokuba ndlongondlongo ekuhambiseni izinto ngokwesondo ngaphambi kokuba elinye iqela likulungele ngokwasemoyeni. Ukukhokela iqabane lakho kunokubangela ukungaqondani kunye noxinzelelo olunokuphelisa ulwalamano ngesiquphe.
Kubalulekile ukuxoxa ngemida yesondo ngendlela yokuthandana ngaphambi kokuba izinto zishushu kwaye zinzima.
Kukho amanqanaba ahlukeneyo ezesondo.
Asinguye wonke umntu okhululekileyo ngesondo esinqabileyo, ngakumbi ngezinto zokudlala, iimfesane ezothusayo, nangaphezulu kweqabane elinye.
Ukunyanzela iqabane lakho ukuba lihambe ngalo ngelixa usebenzisa ngokungagungqiyo ukuthandana njengephepha-mvume kunokukhokelela kubudlelwane obubi.
Yenza imida yezesondo kunye neyomzimba, ikhusela izibini ezithandanayo kwiingxaki.
Kukwakho nabantu abanemicimbi yokuphulula kunye nokwenza esidlangalaleni. Kubo, ukubonakaliswa okucacileyo, kokubonisa esidlangalaleni ukugqitha kwimida kulwalamano.
Ayitshintshi inyani yokuba bamthanda kangakanani umntu, abahlali nje bengonwabanga yimiboniso yoluntu yothando. Kubalulekile ukuba iqela elinobundlongondlongo liqonde inqanaba lokugqwetha liyahluka ukusuka komnye umntu ukuya komnye, ngakumbi xa ujongwa ngabantu.
Imida yomzimba kunye neyesondo yokuthandana nabantu inokuphuka ngokuhamba kwexesha, kodwa ungazinyanzeli, jonga i-50 shades of grey, qinisekisa ukufumana imvume. Ukudlwengulwa komhla lulwaphulo-mthetho.
Sebenzisa ulwazi kubudlelwane bakho bangaphambili kunye namava ngelixa useta imida yomzimba kulwalamano.
Ukuseka imida ebonakalayo kubudlelwane kuvumela omabini amaqabane ukuba azive ekhululekile kwaye abancede baqonde umqobo womnye nomnye.
Imida yeemvakalelo ekuthandaneni
Ukuthandana nomntu kubandakanya ubudlelwane obuninzi beemvakalelo.
Ngamanye amaxesha uziva ukuba isiqu sakho sisezandleni zomntu omnye. Ukuba ubudlelwane obusempilweni, olo luvo luyafana kwaye luyabuyiselwa.
Nangona kunjalo, Kuya kubakho indawo encinci yokukhula kwaye ikhule ngakumbi njengomntu ngamnye. Nokuba uziva ufuna ukunikezela ubomi bakho bonke komnye umntu, awufanelanga. Ukubeka imida ecacileyo endaweni kunokukunceda uqhubeke ngolonwabo kunye nokuba sempilweni ubudlelwane.
Ukunikezela ngamaphupha akho ambalwa kubuqabane obusondeleyo yinxalenye yobomi, kodwa ayisiyiyo yonke loo nto. Iinjongo zakho eziphambili kufuneka zivumelane neqabane lakho kunye nolwalamano lwakho.
Ayivakali ukuba umntu ufuna ukufundisa abantwana eAfrika ukwakha ikamva labo malunga nomntu ofuna ukuba yinkqubo kaGoogle.
UBill noMelinda Gates babenako ukuzenza zombini ezi zinto, kodwa emva kokuyeka ulawulo lweMicrosoft kwaye baba sesinye sezona zibini zityebileyo emhlabeni.
Ngaphandle kokuba ubengowesi-3% siphezulu esinokwenza imali engaphezulu kunokuchithwa kubomi be-100, kuya kufuneka ubenakho ukusebenza ngakumbi malunga nokucwangcisa ikamva lakho.
Unokuzibuza ukuba loluphi unxibelelwano phakathi kwamaphupha akho neemvakalelo zakho, amaphupha akho ayimvelaphi yokuthanda kwakho.
Njengoko amaphupha akho etshintsha ngokuhamba kwexesha, kwaye xa kusenzeka, kunjalo ke nangokuthanda kwakho.
Ukunikezela ngala maphupha kuluvakalelo kakhulu, endaweni yawo kufakwe enye into, umzekelo, abantwana, kukwayimvakalelo kakhulu. Ukwabelana ngezo mvakalelo kunye nezinye zakho ezibalulekileyo sisithako esiphambili kulwalamano olusempilweni, kodwa ukuzigcina ngokwakho yinxalenye yophuhliso lomntu.
Ubudlelwane obusondeleyo, njengomtshato ayisosizathu sokuphelisa ukukhula kwakho.
Kuya kufuneka uqhubeke nokusebenza kumaphupha akho, nokuba ezinye izinto eziphambili njengokukhulisa abantwana zithatha ixesha lakho elininzi.
Qinisekisa ukugcina imida ekuthandaneni, emtshatweni, nakubudlelwane ukugcina isazisi sakho nokuba ungubani na iqabane lakho. Xa usweleka, Kubalulekile ukuba ukhunjulwe ngempumelelo yakho kunye noko ukushiya ngasemva, hayi njengeqabane lomntu.
Ukudala imida ukuthandana kuya kwenza kube lula ukukhusela ubuqu bakho ngelixa uzinikele kwiqabane lakho.
Imida yobudlelwane efanelekileyo inokuba yeyethutyana okanye isigxina ngokuxhomekeke kwiimeko. Ukuphila ubomi bakho komnye umntu kunokuvakala kulungile kwaye kuyindlela efanelekileyo yokuchitha ubomi bakho, kodwa kuya kufuneka ushiye ezinye ngokwakho.
Khumbula, ulunge ngakumbi, izixhobo ozifumanayo, kwaye ngakumbi uyakwazi ukwenza.
Njengomntu oqale inkampani yesoftware ngoku yeyona nkampani inkulu emhlabeni kunye nokufundisa abantwana abaninzi eAfrika ngaxeshanye.
Ukuseka imida esempilweni kubudlelwane akufuneki kuthathwe njengesenzo sokuzingca kodwa njenge non–Inxalenye enokuxoxwa yokuphila ubomi obonwabileyo nobusempilweni ngelixa ukhupha ityhefu ekungqongileyo. Nangona kunjalo, ngelixa useta ulindelo kubudlelwane kubalulekile ukuba uqaphele izinto ezilindelwe liqabane lakho.
Ukuseta kunye nokugcina usempilweni, eyona mida iphambili ayikokuthintela ukonwaba kwakho, kodwa kukukhusela impilo-ntle yakho, ukuze uhlale unyanisekile kwinkolelo yakho, kwaye ugcine inkqubo yakho yexabiso.
Misela imida kunye nemigangatho kunye neqabane lakho kwangoko kubudlelwane kwaye uya kuba nakho ukunqanda zonke iingxaki zobudlelwane ezihlala zivela ekwaphuleni ngabom okanye ngengozi kwemida yobudlelwane.