Umxholo
- Awulwi nekhaphethi
- Iqabane lakho alinako ukuzilungisa iintsilelo zakho
- Ke yintoni efika kwindlela yethu yokubakho kwiqabane lethu?
- Uyiphatha njani ingxabano yobudlelwane
- Apho kwenzeka khona umlingo
- Ungalwa kanjani usempilweni neqabane lakho
USheryl noHarvey, abathengi abambalwa babelane ngengxoxo yabo yam yakutshanje nam. Baphikisana malunga nokutshayela okanye ukucoca ikhaphethi.
USheryl wakhwaza uHarvey, “Kufuneka ucofe ikhaphethi ukuze icoceke. Akukho ndlela yakwenza ukuba ubususe bonke ubumdaka, nothuli kunye nokungcola ngokutshayela nje. ”
Ekuphenduleni uHarvey waphendula wathi, “Ewe ndizakwenza njalo. Ndilwenzile lonke uphando kwaye umtshayelo wanele ngokwaneleyo ukufumana ubumdaka obaneleyo, uthuli kunye nomdaka ukugcina ikhaya lethu lisempilweni kwaye uthuli nothuli kungekho nto. ”
Oku kuqhubekile kwimijikelo eliqela, nganye nganye ikhupha kabukhali isuntswana lophando lwabo ukungqina inqaku labo ngakumbi kunangaphambili.
Awulwi nekhaphethi
Into yile, uHarvey noSheryl bebengaphikisani ngekhaphethi.
Kwaye babengazi nokuyazi. Ngapha koko, phantse zonke iimpikiswano ezinzulu zesibini azinanto yakwenza nayo nantoni na esi sibini sicinga ukuba siphikisana ngayo. Iimpikiswano kodwa malunga nokubonwa nokuviwa ngumntu omthanda kakhulu emhlabeni.
Akukho nto yoyikisayo okanye esengozini ngaphezu kokuziva ukuba umntu omthandayo akakufumani okanye akaluthathi icala lakho.
Uninzi lwethu, singaqondanga, siyathemba ukuba umntu esikhetha ukutshata naye uya kubakho kuthi ngokungenamthetho kwaye asifumane nje. Inyaniso ebuhlungu kukuba, abayenzi, kwaye abayi kuyenza.
Uthando olungenamiqathango, njengo-Erich Fromm, umbhali wencwadi, "Ubugcisa bokuthanda" kuphela ulwalamano lomzali lomntwana. Into ehambelana nomntwana.
Iqabane lakho alinako ukuzilungisa iintsilelo zakho
Kubudlelwane obunothando ngenene, icandelo ngalinye lesibini lifuna inqanaba eliphezulu lokuzithanda kunye nokuzithemba.
Abalindelanga ukuba amaqabane abo azenzele iintsilelo zabo.
Oku akutsho ukuba asifuni uvelwano okanye ukuziva ngathi iqabane lethu likwicala lethu, nokuba abavumelani nathi.
Ke yintoni efika kwindlela yethu yokubakho kwiqabane lethu?
Olunye loloyiko olukhulu lwesibini kukuba baya kuphulukana nolwalamano lwabo.
Oku kwenza ukuba uluvo lweqabane labo loyike, ngakumbi xa kuchasene neenkolelo zabo.
Kuthatha inkalipho kunye nokuzithemba ukwazi ukuba ukuva imbono yamaqabane akho athandanayo akuthethi ukuba uza kucima eyakho. Xa uthatha ixesha lokumamela umbono weqabane lakho, iqabane lakho liziva lithandwa kwaye likhathalelwe. Oku kubenza bafune ukwenza okufanayo ekubuyiseleni wena.
Ngapha koko, umlingo wokwenene uvela ekuveni imbono yeqabane lakho. Okukhona ngamnye wenu etshintshana emamela izimvo zomnye nomnye, kokukhona niza kukwazi ukuza kwindawo entsha yokuqondana kunye nokwenza umbono wesithathu. Le mbono inokuba nkulu kunale uqale ngayo.
Uyiphatha njani ingxabano yobudlelwane
Ukuze usombulule iingxoxo kubudlelwane obungcono, landela la manyathelo.
- Qaphela ukuba kukho into enzulu elele phantsi kwengxoxo yakho evakalelwa kukuba ibuhlungu kakhulu ukufikelela kuyo.
- Zinike ixesha lokuziva apho iintlungu zilele khona ngaphakathi kuwe.
- Zinike ixesha lokuba ubone ukuba ikukhumbuza nantoni na.
- Vumela ukuba ubuthathaka kwaye wabelane ngeemvakalelo zakho neqabane lakho. Ndiyazi ukuba ndisenza silula esi sandi, kwaye inokuba njalo.
- Kunzima kwaye ngamanye amaxesha kufuna uncedo kumntu wesithathu.
Enye yeendlela zokuxabana kuluncedo kubudlelwane bakho kukuba ikuvumela ukuba unxibelelane ngeemfuno zakho kwiqabane lakho kwaye kuninceda nobabini nikhule njengoko nikwazi ukubona eyona nto yenzakeleyo.
Logama nje nobabini niphikisana ngokwakhayo kukho indawo yokufikelela kwingcambu yeengxaki ngaphambi kokuba bandise. Ke, leyo yenye yeendlela zokujonga iimpikiswano kubudlelwane njengendlela yokuthintela ukophuka okungenakufikeleleka neqabane lakho.
Apho kwenzeka khona umlingo
Ngokusebenza noSheryl noHarvey ndikwazile ukubanceda baveze ukuba yintoni eyenza ukuba babelane ngendlela ebuthathaka yoyike kakhulu, ukuze bakwazi ukuyenza ngokuhlangeneyo nangokukhuselekileyo.
USheryl wafumanisa ukuba wayeziva enesidima kwaye evakalelwa kukuba ubukrelekrele bakhe abonelanga. Xa wayesilwa nelakhe icala lempikiswano. Eyona nto wayezama ukuyithetha kukuba, "Nceda undive kuba ndifuna ukuziva ndikrelekrele."
Ungalwa kanjani usempilweni neqabane lakho
Khumbula, ngokwenene ukwelo qela linye.
UHarvey wayethetha into eyahlukileyo. Ngamnye wayeqhele abantu ukuba baxabise ubukrelekrele babo. Xa bephikisana ngokuba ngubani olungileyo okanye ongalunganga, eyona nto babeyifuna yayikukuziva behlakaniphile kwaye babonwe ngulowo bamthandayo.
Mhlawumbi nabo bobabini bafuna ikhaya labo licoceke. Kodwa banenkathalo enkulu ngakumbi malunga nokuziva baxabisekile ngoyena mntu ubaluleke kakhulu kubo.
Xa uHarvey wakwaziyo ukwamkela iintlungu zikaSheryl kwaye wabakhona njengoko wayekhala engamgwebi, wabuva ubukho bakhe, obabuphilisa. Ngokwenyani le yenze utshintsho kubo bobabini ukuze bazive bethandwa.
Xa abantu abatshatileyo befunda ukuthetha ulwimi lokuba sesichengeni omnye komnye, iimvakalelo zabo zonxibelelwano ziyavela ngokukhawuleza.
Bafuna ukuva omnye nomnye kwaye babelapho ngenxa yomnye nomnye. Kulapho kwenzeka khona loo mizuzu yothando kunye nethenda zomlingo. Naxa kukho impikiswano kubudlelwane.
Ukuba le yinto ozifumana unengxaki nayo, zive ukhululekile ukundishiya nomgca kwaye undazise ukuba ndingakunceda njani.