Umxholo
- Kufuneka wenze ntoni, ujonge phi
- Jikela kwii-BFF zakho
- Ukukhetha ukhetho lobuchule
- Izinto ekufuneka ziqwalaselwe
- Yintoni elandelayo elandelayo?
- Iphela njani?
Ukukrexeza. Ukukopela kuka-AKA, amaxesha amabini, ukuthandana, ukuphosa, ecaleni, ukungathembeki, ukungathembeki, kwaye mhlawumbi esinye isiqingatha seshumi esithethini sesinye sezona ziganeko zibuhlungu zinokwenzeka emtshatweni.
Ukukrexeza kunokuba sesinye sezona ziganeko zibuhlungu umntu anokuhlangabezana nazo. Kwaye ayisiyonto ingaqhelekanga leyo, ngelishwa. Iinkcukacha-manani ezinokuthenjwa akunakwenzeka ukuba ziqokelelwe, kodwa uqikelelo lubonisa ukuba kwindawo ethile malunga neyesithathu yemitshato ichaphazelekayo ngomnye okanye bobabini abalingane abakhohlisayo kwelinye.
Ke masithi kwenzeka into embi kuwe. Ucinga ukuba umtshato wakho uqinile kwaye wonwabile kuni nobabini neqabane lakho. Uhamba ngovuyo kwiintsuku zakho kwaye ngandlela thile ufumanisa ubungqina bokuba konke ayisiyiyo indlela obucinga ngayo.
Kwiintsuku zakudala, ubungqina inokuba yayiyirisithi yephepha, inqaku elibhaliweyo kwincwadi yomhla, incoko eyamanyelwa ngengozi, kodwa ngoku ukukrexeza kulula ngakumbi ukukufihla, kungathatha ixesha elide ukufumanisa ukuba iqabane lakho liyakopela.
Itekhnoloji yenze ukuba abantu abakhohlisayo kumaqabane abo bakwazi ukuzifihla ngokufanelekileyo izenzo zabo, kodwa bafumane abantu abatshatileyo abanolwazelelelo malunga nemidiya yoluntu.
Kwaye ufumanise, yithi, uthotho lweetekisi kunye nemifanekiso phakathi kweqabane lakho kunye nomnye umntu ebonisa ngokucacileyo ukuba umtshato wakho awuyiyo le nto ubucinga ukuba uyiyo. Abanye abantu bafumene ubudlelwane bokukrexeza kuFacebook, ku-Instagram nakwamanye amajelo asekuhlaleni.
Kufuneka wenze ntoni, ujonge phi
Emva kothuko lokufunyanwa kunye nokudibana okulandelayo neqabane lakho lokukhohlisa, nobabini nize kwisigqibo sokuba nifuna ukuwusindisa umtshato.
Ungazange ube kule meko ngaphambili, unokudideka kancinci malunga nokukhetha kunye nokuba ujika phi.
Zininzi izixhobo ngesihloko sokugcina umtshato wakho emva kokungathembeki: Okokuqala, kukho iividiyo zeYouTube, iipodcast, iwebhusayithi kunye neencwadi.
Ingxaki kukuba umgangatho wolwazi olunikiweyo unokuhluka ukusuka kwi-balderdash kunye nokungenangqondo ukuya kuluncedo kunye nengqondo, kodwa ukukwazi ukubona umahluko kunokuba nzima kwabanye abantu, ngakumbi ngeli xesha lokuhlaselwa yimvakalelo.
Iincwadi ezimbini ezithandwayo abantu abaya kuzo zi-
- Imigaqo esixhenxe yokwenza umtshato usebenze nguJohn Gottman
- Iilwimi ezi-5 zothando nguGary Chapman
Ewe, bakho abahlobo bakho, abantu benkolo ukuba ubukele, kwaye kukho iingcali eziqeqeshiweyo kunye namava ekuncedeni abantu abanamava ngoku okanye abanamava okrexezo kutsha nje okanye ngaphambili. Ezi ngcali zihamba ngeelebheli ezahlukeneyo: abacebisi ngezomtshato, iingcali kwezomtshato, abacebisi ngemitshato, ubudlelwane bezonyango kunye nokunye ukwahluka okufanayo.
Jikela kwii-BFF zakho
Abahlobo banokuba yintsikelelo ngeli xesha lokuzama, kodwa banokunika neengcebiso ezinokuba mbi kuba azinakuba nanjongo. Banokuba bakhulu ngenkxaso yokuziphatha kunye negxalaba lokulila.
Kodwa, amaxesha ngamaxesha Kungangcono ke ufumane umcebisi ngemitshato oqeqeshiweyo ukubona ukuba unako kwaye kufuneka ubuyisele umtshato wakho kwindawo efanelekileyo.
Ukukhetha ukhetho lobuchule
Wena neqabane lakho nigqibe kwelokuba nifune uncedo lobuchwephesha ukuze nibone ukuba ninokunqoba njani nobubi obukhulu obenzekileyo. Uhamba njani ngokukhetha ingcali enokukunceda ukuba nigqibe ukukrexeza?
Ngaphambi kokuba uqale ukhangele, Qiniseka ukuba omabini amaqabane azibophelele ekubekeni ixesha kunye nengqwalaselo efunekayo ukulungisa umtshato ngoncedo lweengcali. Ukuba nobabini anizibopheleli, nichitha ixesha nemali.
Izinto ekufuneka ziqwalaselwe
Eli lixesha elinzima kakhulu, kwaye ukwenza isigqibo esibalulekileyo sokufuna iingcebiso akukho lula.
Kodwa emva kokwenza eso sigqibo, zezinye zezinto ekufuneka uzithathele ingqalelo xa ufuna umcebisi womtshato onokukunceda emva kokuba ukrexezile ungene emtshatweni wakho.
- Iimpawu zomcebisi. Jonga ukuba zithetha ntoni zonke ezi zokuqala (emva kwegama lonyango).
- Xa ufowunela iofisi yonyango, buza imibuzo. Ukuba abasebenzi baseofisini banqabile ukunika iimpendulo ezizeleyo, thatha oko njengesilumkiso seflegi ebomvu.
- Usebenze ixesha elingakanani ugqirha womtshato? Ngaba banamava kwimiba emalunga nokukrexeza?
- Buza ixabiso. Ngaba yiseshoni nganye? Ngaba sikhona isikali sokutyibilika? Ngaba i-inshurensi yakho iyazigubungela iindleko?
- Lide kangakanani ixesha leseshoni? Ngaba kukho inani eliqhelekileyo leeseshoni?
- Ngaba nobabini nifuna i-Therapists okanye i-joint Therapist okanye nobabini? Ngamanye amaxesha, izibini ziqala ngokunyanga umntu ngamnye zize ziye kunyangiweyo.
- Ukuba uya kugqirha obambiseneyo, ngaba loo mntu uya kuba engakhethi buso? Umcebisi ngemitshato kufuneka abonise uvelwano kubo bobabini ukuze akhuthaze ingxoxo enentsingiselo kunye nenemveliso.
- Ngaba umcebisi womtshato uyarhuma kwithiyori enye yoxolelwaniso nokuphilisa okanye ngaba bavuleleke kuhlobo oluthile lokucebisa ngokukrexeza?
Yintoni elandelayo elandelayo?
Wena neqabane lakho nenze isigqibo esibalulekileyo sokubonana nomcebisi ngomtshato. Yintoni onokuyilindela ngexesha olichitha nomcebisi?
Ngokwesiqhelo, ingcali yezomtshato iya kufuna ukwazi imbali yobudlelwane bakho kuwo omabini amaqabane njengesiqalo. Bobabini abatshatileyo baya kuxoxa ngezinto abacinga ukuba zikhokelele ekungathembekini kwaye kutheni becinga ukuba yenzekile.
Oku kuyakuba ngamava okuthoba ngokwasemphefumlweni, kodwa kubalulekile ukuze omabini amaqabane aqhubele phambili kwaye aphinde azuze ukuthembana.
Iiseshini akufuneki zingqinelane nomcebisi osebenza njengosompempe. Endaweni yoko, umcebisi kufuneka abuze imibuzo ecingayo ebonisa iimvakalelo kunye neemvakalelo kwaye adale imeko apho iqabane ngalinye liziva likhululekile ukuthetha.
Injongo enye yale ngcebiso yokukrexeza kukuba ukuthembana kunokwakhiwa kwakhona kubudlelwane. Xa – kwaye ukuba-oko kuyenzeka, esi sibini sisendleleni eya kuxolelwaniso lwenene.
Umgqirha olungileyo uya kusebenza nesibini ukuvavanya imikhwa yakudala kunye neepateni ukubona ukuba ngaba ezinye zezi zinto zinegalelo ekukrexezeni.
Nje ukuba isibini siyazi imigibe enokubuyela kwiindlela ezindala ezikhoyo, banokusebenza nzima ukuphepha iindlela zokuziphatha ezikhokelela kukungathembeki.
Iphela njani?
Akukho xesha libekiweyo ekufuneka lithathe ingcebiso ngomtshato. Isibini ngasinye sahlukile, njengonyango ngalunye. Ingcali iya kukunika umbono wenkqubela phambili oyenzayo njengoko usebenza kwiingxaki zakho zomtshato kunye naye. Ekugqibeleni nangokufanelekileyo, ukucebisa ngokukrexeza ukunceda isibini ukuba sisebenze ngokungcatsha ukukopela kuya kukhokelela kwisibini ekuzinikeleni okunzulu kokuthembana, imbeko nothando.