Umxholo
- 1. Thatha "uqhawulo-mtshato" kwisigama sakho
- 2. Khumbula ukuba kutheni watshata kwasekuqaleni
- 3. Ungalibali utshintsho lwelo xesha
- 4. Funa iingcebiso
- 5. Fumana inkxaso yabanye
Kukhuselekile ukuba akukho mntu uceba ukutshata uceba ukuqhawula umtshato okanye ukuzibuza njani ukunqanda uqhawulo-mtshato ukuba lungenzeki. Kodwa okulusizi kukuba, amanani abonisa ukuba kuyenzeka kwizibini ezininzi.
Ngokwengxelo ezipapashiweyo, ngaphezulu kweepesenti ezingama-40 zemitshato yokuqala, malunga neepesenti ezingama-60 zemitshato yesibini kunye neepesenti ezingama-73 zemitshato yesithathu iyakuphela ngamadoda nabafazi abemi phambi kwejaji becela ukuba umtshato wabo uqhawulwe.
Ukanti ngaphandle kwento yokuba uqhawulo-mtshato ngamava anzima ngenene kwesi sibini, kukwalucelomngeni kubantwana babo, amalungu osapho kunye nabahlobo kwaye abanye bathi, noluntu ngokubanzi.
Kungenxa yokuba baninzi abantu abakholelwa ukuba usapho lilitye lembombo apho izinto ezininzi zakhiwe khona. Kwaye ke, xa usapho olunye luqhekeka, kukho ifuthe lolawulo olunokubangela intshabalalo yokwenene.
Kodwa wenza ntoni ukuba umtshato uneengxaki? Ngawaphi amanyathelo onokuwathatha ukunqanda uqhawulo-mtshato okanye indlela yokumisa uqhawulo-mtshato kwaye ugcine umtshato wakho?
Ke ukuba uzifumana ukwimeko apho uzama ukufumana indlela yokuphepha ukuqhawula umtshato? okanye ungaluyeka njani uqhawulo mtshato?? Nazi iingcebiso ezintlanu ezinokukunceda wena kunye neqabane lakho ukuba nifumane ukukhanya kwethemba kwaye nithathe amanyathelo okuthintela uqhawulo-mtshato kunye nokuphilisa ubudlelwane bakho.
Ukufunda okuhambelana: Uthini umlinganiso woqhawulo mtshato eMelika malunga noMtshato
1. Thatha "uqhawulo-mtshato" kwisigama sakho
Kanye njengokuba kufuneka ukhethe ukutshata, uqhawulo-mtshato luhlala lukhetho. Into eyoyikisayo malunga nale ngongoma kuthetha ukuba wena neqabane lakho ninamandla okuthintela ukuphela komtshato wenu kunye nokuyeka ukuqhawula umtshato.
Into emnandi kukuba konke kuqala ngesigqibo sokungaveli igama elithi "uqhawulo-mtshato" kwiincoko zakho. Yenzakala. Yiba nomsindo. Yiba nexhala. Kodwa ke yiba luhlobo lwesibini esizimisele ukusindisa umtshato kuqhawulo mtshato kwaye ungavumeli uqhawulo mtshato lube yinto onokuyenza ekhaya.
Iinzame ozibeka kubudlelwane kukuphinda ukhethe ukhetho olwenzileyo, kwaye ukuba awufuni ukwahlukana neqabane lakho kunokumisa uqhawulo-mtshato kufuneka uhlale ungowokuqala kwaye ukhethe kuphela.
Ke khumbula, nokuba kunzima kangakanani ukuya phambili Eyona ndlela yokumisa uqhawulo-mtshato kukungayicingi nokuyicinga.
2. Khumbula ukuba kutheni watshata kwasekuqaleni
Indoda esisilumko yakha yathi ngamaxesha apho uziva ufuna ukuyeka into, khumbula ukuba kutheni uqale. Ngomhla wakho womtshato, wena neqabane lakho nenza izifungo zokuba nibe lapho omnye nomnye — kuyo yonke loo nto.
Oku kuthetha ukuba nokuba ungathini, uzibophelele ekubuyeni omnye nomnye. Ngokuqinisekileyo kunokuba ngumceli mngeni ngoku, kodwa kukho ithuba elihle lokuba ungasebenza ngokukuko ngokusebenza kwezinto kunye kunokuba uhlukane.
Umtshato usebenza kuphela xa abantu abatshatileyo bekwi-tandem, kwaye ukomelela kwabo kunye nokuzinikela kwabo kuyavavanywa xa kuhamba ubunzima. Utshatile, ngokuyinxenye, ukuba nenkqubo yenkxaso yomnye nomnye. Amaxesha anzima aya kuba lixesha lokuhlangana kunye; sukushenxelana.
Jonga loo lining yesilivere, kwaye ewe, lonke ilifu linalo. Khangela elo themba, ukukhanya ebumnyameni kwaye wakhe phezu kwalo. Ngaba kunokuba nzima, uza kubheja. Kodwa kulapho uthando lwakho luza kujongana novavanyo olunzima.
Umtshato wakho, iinjongo zakho, uthando lwakho omnye komnye, konke bekuya kuvavanywa, ke zikhumbuze ngezinto ohleli uzithanda malunga neqabane lakho kwaye ubambelele kuzo kwaye ekuhambeni kwexesha ziya kuba zezinye zazo ezona ndlela zokuyeka ukuqhawula umtshato.
Jonga kwakhona: Izizathu ezi-7 eziqhelekileyo zoqhawulo mtshato
3. Ungalibali utshintsho lwelo xesha
“Kungcono okanye kubi.” Eli libinzana ekusenokwenzeka ukuba wawusitsho xa wawufunda izifungo zakho zomtshato. Kwaye nangona kunokubonakala ngathi kukungena okungagungqiyo "kokubi," kufuneka ukhumbule ukuba amaxesha onyaka uyeza kwaye namaxesha ayahamba.
Utshintsho kuphela kwesiqhelo, ke namhlanje ukuba yonke into ibonakala ngathi yonakele ngomso uyakufumana ithuba lokuyilungisa.
Sukugxila kakhulu kwixesha elidlulileyo kangangokuba ulahle ithemba lokuba kuya kubakho ulonwabo kwixa elizayo. Yiba nomonde, ungekhe ulwe nexesha, kwaye awungekhe uchasane nayo, ezinye izinto kufuneka ziqhube ikhosi yazo. Kufana nokutshintsha kwamaxesha onyaka; Kuhlala kukho okulandelayo ngasekunene kwekona.
Ukufunda okuhambelana: Mingaphi imitshato ephela kuqhawulo mtshato
4. Funa iingcebiso
Akukho mathandabuzo ngayo. Enye yeendlela eziphambili zokumisa uqhawulo-mtshato kukubona umcebisi.
Banobuchule kwezobuchwephesha kwaye bakulungele ukukubonelela ngeengcebiso kunye nezixhobo zokwenza indlela yokujongana nemicimbi onayo ngoku kunye nendlela yokuthintela izinto ukuba zinganyuki ziye kwinqanaba lokujonga uqhawulo mtshato kwixesha elizayo.
Ukucebisa ngomtshato ngokuqinisekileyo kuya kukunika indawo yokujongana nayo yonke imiba ebonakala inyanzela umtshato wakho ukuba uqhawule umtshato, kwaye xa unikwa ixesha elaneleyo kunye nokucebisa ukuzibophelela kunokukunceda uqonde ukuba umisa njani uqhawulo-mtshato okanye ukuba ungaqhawuli mtshato.
Enye into ebalulekileyo ekufuneka uyikhumbule xa ufuna ukucebisa ngomtshato kukufumana owona mcebisi ngomtshato; Ukucebisa ngomtshato kulungile kuphela njengomcebisi. Buza abahlobo bakho okanye usapho, okanye ukhangele imikhombandlela ethembekileyo ukuze ufumane umcebisi olungileyo wokukunceda yeka uqhawulo-mtshato.
5. Fumana inkxaso yabanye
Into efunwa zizo zonke izibini ezitshatileyo zezinye izibini ezitshatileyo; ngakumbi ngakumbi, enye usempilweni izibini ezitshatileyo. Nangona kungekho mtshato ugqibeleleyo (kwaye kungenxa yokuba akukho bantu babini bagqibelele), iindaba ezimnandi zezokuba kukho imitshato eyonwabisayo.
Kungenxa yokuba indoda nomfazi bazibophelele ekuthandaneni, bayahloniphana kwaye bahlala kunye de kube sekufeni. Ukuba nohlobo olunjalo lwempembelelo ebomini bakho kunokuba yinto oyifunayo ukuze ufumane wena kunye neqabane lakho kumaxesha anzima.
Wonke umntu ufuna inkxaso, kuquka izibini ezitshatileyo. Kwaye ezinye zezona nkxaso zibalaseleyo zezinye izihlobo ezitshatileyo ezisempilweni nezonwabileyo.
Ukufunda okuhambelana: Ukuthandana emva koqhawulo-mtshato: Ngaba ndikulungele ukuthanda kwakhona?