Ukujongana namaqhekeza kubudlelwane obungenakuthethathethana

Umbhali: Peter Berry
Umhla Wokudalwa: 13 Eyekhala 2021
Hlaziya Umhla: 1 Eyekhala 2024
Anonim
Ukujongana namaqhekeza kubudlelwane obungenakuthethathethana - I-Psychology
Ukujongana namaqhekeza kubudlelwane obungenakuthethathethana - I-Psychology

Umxholo

Njengoko kusaziwa ngokubanzi; ukwahlulwa kwengqondo, umoya, umzimba kunye nomphefumlo kunzima kubo bonke abantu.

Sifuna ukusebenzisana kunye nobudlelwane nabanye abantu ukuze sizive siqinisekisiwe kwaye samkelwe.

Kubudlelwane bothando, xa uthando lutyatyamba, ukugqobhoza ulwalamano kubudlelane yinto yokugqibela ukuwela engqondweni yakho.

Ubudlelwane bothando bunokubonakala njengeyona ilula kodwa yenye yezona ntlobo zintsonkothileyo zobudlelwane onokubakho kuzo

Yintoni umntu owaphula isivumelwano kubudlelwane

Ngaphambi kokuba bathathe inxaxheba kubudlelwane bothando uninzi lwabantu lucinga ngohlobo lomntu abanokuthanda ukuthandana nalo, bahlala bedwelisa ezona mpawu sizinqwenela kakhulu kwiqabane-labo benza iidemon.

Kodwa rhoqo kunoko, abantu badla ngokulibala ukuseta abathengisi kubudlelwane.

Ukujongana nabaqhekezi emtshatweni zeziiimpawu ezinokungafaneleki ukuba umntu athandane okanye abe liqabane lomtshato, nokuba zingaphi na ezinye iimpawu ezintle kunye nabalinganiswa.


Apha ngezantsi kukho uluhlu lwabaphuli bezinto eziphambili kubudlelwane.

Ukuba impendulo yakho ngu “ewe” komnye okanye kule mibuzo ilandelayo, nceda unyathele ngononophelo kubudlelwane okanye uhambe.

Ama-21 ezona zinto zibalulekileyo kubudlelwane

1. Ngaba bayakuxhaphaza

Ngaba lukhona uhlobo lokuxhatshazwa kulwalamano?

Lo kufuneka ube ngumbuzo ozibuza wona.

  • Ngaba iqabane lakho liyakuhlukumeza ngokwasemzimbeni, ngokwasemphefumlweni, ngokwasentlalweni, ngamazwi?
  • Ngaba babeka ityala kuwe okanye kwabanye ngezinto abazenzileyo?

Ukuba ewe, uyathandana nomntu onetyhefu kwaye kuyingozi emzimbeni wakho, engqondweni, emoyeni nakumphefumlo.

2. Ngaba banengxaki yotywala okanye yeziyobisi

  • Ngaba umntu otshate naye likhoboka lotywala okanye leziyobisi?
  • Ngaba basebenzisa utywala okanye iziyobisi ukwenza izinto?
  • Ngaba basebenzisa iziyobisi ukucoca iingqondo zabo nanini na xa bekhathazekile?

Le yimibuzo efanelekileyo ekufuneka uzibuze yona ngaphambi kokubandakanyeka ngakumbi kulwalamano.


3. Ngaba iqabane lakho liyayixhasa

Ubudlelwane abuzukuqhubela phambili ukuba iqabane lakho okanye iqabane lakho alixhasi.

Ukuba iqabane lakho liyakuxhasa kwaye liyahambelana nawe, kulungile, kodwa uza kuthini xa bekuthuka?

Ukuba iqabane lakho liyathuka kwaye / okanye ndineentloni ngawe ngenkangeleko yakho, ubunzima, umsebenzi, abahlobo, okanye ukhetho lwendlela yokuphila, bakhohlakele yaye bayabakhohlisa.

4. Ngaba ubaluleke kakhulu kwiqabane lakho?

Ngaba iqabane lakho likubeka ngaphezu kwayo yonke enye into?

Ngaba babeka elona xabiso liphezulu kuwe?

Ngaba iqabane lakho lihlala libheyila kwizicwangciso zakho zokubona abahlobo babo kwaye abaze bakumeme? Nangona kungenakwenzeka ngamaxesha onke, iqabane lakho kufuneka likwenze eyona nto iphambili kuyo xa ufuna kakhulu.

5. Ngaba umntu wakho uyaxoka kuwe

Eyona nto ibalulekileyo kulwalamano kukuthenjwa kwaye ngaphandle kokuthembela kubudlelwane, ubudlelwane abuyonto. Uninzi lwabantu luxoka ukugubungela imiqolo yabo. Yenye yezona zinto zixhaphakileyo ebantwini.


6. Ngaba bayazama ukukulawula

Abanye abantu banokulawula kakhulu kwaye balawule kubudlelwane.

Ngaba iqabane lakho liyazama ukusebenzisa amandla alo okulawula wena? Ukuba ewe, buyela ngaphandle!

7. Ngaba iqabane lakho likolunye ulwalamano?

Ngalo lonke ixesha zama ukubuza ukuba ngaba ukuthandana kwakho kukolunye ulwalamano nomnye umntu.

Musa ukuba yintombazana okanye umfana ogezelwa, ngaphandle kokuba nobabini niyavuma ukuba ukungabalulekanga akubalulekanga kuni.

8. Linjani iqabane lakho

Kuya kufuneka uyazi ukuba ingaba iqabane lakho liyakhawuleza na ukuba nomsindo kunye nendlela eliqhuma ngayo nanini na xa linomsindo.

9. Lithetha njani iqabane lakho nawe?

Ngaba bathetha nawe ngayo nayiphi na into engalunganga okanye ilungile kubudlelwane?

Olunye ulwalamano oluqhelekileyo lokuqhekeka komntu ngumntu ongafuniyo ukuthetha nawe malunga nemicimbi emalunga noko.

Kuya kufuneka ube nomntu ofuna ukunxibelelana ngokufanelekileyo nawe.

10. Ngaba ulwa kakhulu

Ukugcina ubudlelwane, kufuneka kubekho iingxabano ezisempilweni kunye nokungavumelani kubudlelwane.

Kodwa akufuneki igqithe kakhulu, kuya kufuneka ujonge indlela iqabane lakho elisingatha ngayo ukungavisisani, bayakuthuka xa usenza impikiswano?

Ngaba bayakubetha?

Ngaba bakwenza uthobeke kwimpikiswano?

Vavanya loo mibuzo ukuze wazi ukuba uthandana kakuhle na.

Kubalulekile ukukhumbula enye yezinto eziphambili ezophule umtshato, oko kukuthi, ukuxhatshazwa kubudlelwane okanye emtshatweni.

11. Zithini izazela zakho

Ngaba isazela sakho siyakuxelela ukuba ubudlelwane abuzukusebenza?

Kufuneka uhlawule ingqalelo yakho.

Kwenzeka rhoqo kangangokuba siziva ngathi into ayilunganga kodwa asinazo izizathu ezifanelekileyo zokuchaza, kwaye ekugqibeleni kwenzeka into embi. Nangona inokuba sisiprofeto esizalisekisayo, kuya kufuneka unike ingqalelo imiqondiso oyithumela kuwe.

12. Ngaba iqabane lakho linemicimbi yezempilo

Umbuzo obalulekileyo ekufuneka uzibuze wona ngaphambi kokuba ubeke ingqondo nomzimba wakho kubudlelwane kukuba ingaba iqabane lakho linemicimbi yezempilo efana nee-STD. Zibuze ukuba loluphi uhlobo lwemiba yezempilo onokuhlala nayo kwaye yintoni ekuninzi kakhulu kuwe. Nyaniseka kubo kwaye nawe.

13. Ngaba iqabane lakho alikukhathalelanga okanye alikhathali

  • Ngaba iqabane lakho Ungakhathali malunga nokuba sempilweni?
  • Ngaba iqabane lakho Ungakhathali ngento oyenzayo?
  • Ngaba iqabane lakho zingqine uxakeke kakhulu ukuba ungazenzela ixesha lokuzimamela kwaye wenza izinto ozenzayo?

Uvavanye ngokunzulu loo mibuzo ukuze wazi ukuba ngaba lo ngumqhekezi kuwe kwaye uthetha ntoni kubudlelwane obukubo.

14. Ngaba bayakugcina kude nabahlobo okanye usapho lwabo

Akukho mntu uyisiqithi, kwaye abahlobo kunye neentsapho zethu ziyinxalenye ebalulekileyo yobomi bethu.

Ukuba iqabane lakho likujonga njengenye ebalulekileyo kubo, baya kwamkela umbono wokukwenza udibane nabazali kunye nesangqa sabahlobo.

Ukuphela kwento onokuthi uyenze kunokuba yintsingiselo enzima yosapho, apho iqabane lakho linokungakuthathi kwangoko ukuze lihlangane nabo.

Sele beyithethile loo nto, kufuneka bavuleleke ekugqibeleni bakukhuphe ukuze ubazise okanye bazimisele ukunxibelelana ngezizathu zokuba kutheni.

15. Ngaba azifumaneki xa uzifuna?

Ukuba ulwa nengxaki kwaye ufuna uncedo lwabo, kwaye uye wafumanisa kaninzi ukuba bebengekho ngenxa yakho, uyakuyithatha njengophule isivumelwano? Ibonisa ukungathembeki kwabo kunye nokungafuni ukubakhona kuwe ukuba uza kuhamba nayo yonke le ngxaki.

Ufuna umntu othembeke ngakumbi onokuthi akunike uncedo kunye nentuthuzelo.

16. Ngaba uyazincama iinjongo zakho zobungcali

Ngaba ufumanisa ukuba uncama amabhongo akho kwaye uhlala ulalanisa kubudlelwane, ngelixa iqabane lakho linyusa indlela yalo ukuya kumsebenzi ongcono?

Ngaba uzifumanisa ushiya umsebenzi onengeniso ukulungiselela ikhondo lomsebenzi weqabane lakho kunye nokhetho lwakho?

Ukuba elinye iqabane liyachuma, kodwa elinye iqabane liyazisonta izithupha, ligobise imiqolo ukuze lilungele iqabane lalo, liwutyeshele umkhondo womsebenzi, inzondo iya kwakha.

Ubudlelwane obulungeleleneyo bufuna amaqabane ukuba axhasane kwikhondo lomsebenzi wabo kwaye babuyisele inceba xa elinye iqabane lisenza uhlengahlengiso olufanelekileyo okanye lincama iinjongo zabo zobungcali.

Ikwathetha ukuba omabini amaqabane afunda ukubetha ibhalansi phakathi kothando kunye nomsebenzi.

Jonga kwakhona:

17. Ngaba bayalutyeshela ucoceko lwabo lobuqu

Akunakulunga ukufuna iqabane lakho ukuba ligcine umzimba 'ogqibeleleyo' kwaye ujongeke ngathi baphume kumdlalo bhanyabhanya.

Kodwa, ukugcina amanqanaba asisiseko ezempilo kunye nokubonakala kubonakala kulindelekile.

Ukuba iqabane lakho alicocekanga kwaye alisoze lenze naziphi na iinzame zokuphakamisa inkangeleko, liswele ukuzihlonipha kwaye libonisa iimpawu zokungakhathali.

18. Ngaba zilondolozo oluphezulu kakhulu

Ukuba iqabane lakho lihlala lilungiswa kwinkangeleko yalo, inokuba luphawu lwe-narcissism.

Kuninzi ebomini kunemivumbo engeyonyani, umzimba oqingqiweyo, ii-biceps eziqhekezayo, ulwandiso lweenwele, kunye nemaleko yokwenza ubuso.

Ukuba iqabane lakho lilwa nokubonakala kuthambile kwaye lichitha isixa semali kulondolozo lwenu, ubudlelwane benu buyayeka ukuba ngumzamo kunye nokuzenzekelayo.

Iflegi ebomvu akufuneki ungayihoyi xa isiza kuluhlu lwabaphuli-mthetho kubudlelwane.

19. Ngaba zilungile ngobudlelwane obude

Ngamanye amaxesha, iimeko ezingaphaya kolawulo zinokunyanzela isibini ukuba sihlale kwizixeko ezahlukileyo.

Nangona kunjalo, uninzi lwezibini azicwangcisi ukuhlala kwilungiselelo lomgama omde ngonaphakade.

Ukuba iqabane lakho libonakala lilungile ngokupheleleyo kunye nolwalamano olukude nolungiselelo olungenasiphelo, ngelixa ungekho, oko kubonisa iinjongo ezahlukeneyo zobudlelwane.

Oku kwahluka kunokuba kwezinye izibini ezitshatileyo kwisivumelwano kubudlelwane.

20. Ngaba awunakho ukuhambelana ngokwesondo

Ukwabelana ngesondo yinxalenye ebalulekileyo yobudlelwane kwaye ubopha isibini kunye, kwaye ukuba awunxibelelani nenqanaba lomzimba, inokuqhuba ukudibana phakathi kwesibini.

Nokuba omnye wenu akenzi nzame zokuphinda enze iintlantsi, ngokuqinisekileyo yenye yezona zinto zibalulekileyo kubudlelwane.

21. Ngaba zimbi ngemali

Ukuba iqabane lakho loyike ngokulawula imali kwaye alitshintshi imikhwa yalo okanye lifunde ukuqonda kwezemali, oko kungakhokelela kwiingxaki ezingaziwayo.

Ukuba ulwalamano lwakho lubandakanya umzabalazo wemali oqhubekayo ngaphandle kokuphuculwa, kuya kufuneka uphinde ubeke izinto ngokubaluleka kuzo kwaye usithathele ingqalelo isigqibo sakho sokuba neqabane lakho langoku.

Ukuba indlela ochitha ngayo imali iyenzakalisa ubudlelwane, i-mindset e-stingy egqithisileyo inokuseta kwakhona i-alamu intsimbi.

Igama lokugqibela kubaphuli besivumelwano kubudlelwane

Sebenzisa olu luhlu lwamaqhekeza esiqhelo kubudlelwane ukuzibuza ukuba ungaphila ngantoni.

Nokuba ungathandana kangakanani, abo baphula isivumelwano banokonakalisa ubudlelwane obungaphaya kokulungiswa kuba banamathele ngokusondeleyo kwiinkolelo zethu eziphambili.

Jonga olu luhlu lwee-20 zeedrafti kubudlelwane ukuze uthathe isigqibo sokuba ingaba ubudlelwane bakho bunekamva okanye hayi.