Umxholo
- Akukho mpendulo ichanekileyo kule meko
- Kubalulekile ukuba ufumane umhlaba ofanayo kunye neqabane lakho
- Nazi izikhokelo zendlela yokuyilawula
- Gcina unxibelelwano lunyanisekile
- Kufanelekile ukufuna ingcebiso
- Landela ilizwi lakho lokuzalwa
- Sebenzani kunye
Singayithatha kancinci into yokuba ukusondelelana kunye nomtshato zihamba kunye kodwa kwenzeka ntoni xa kukho imicimbi yobuqu, okanye eyengqondo ebangela ukungabikho kolwalamano, okanye kungabikho kufutshane? Ngaba ukusondelelana emtshatweni kubalulekile ekusindisweni kobudlelwane bomtshato? Kwaye ukuba iyaqhubeka, ngaba ukudityaniswa kokungabikho kobuhlobo kunye nomtshato kunganelisa kubo bobabini abatshatileyo?
Impendulo inzima kuba umzekelo ngamnye wokusondelelana kunye nomtshato (okanye ukusilela kwawo) wahlukile. Ewe umtshato ungaphila ngaphandle kobuhlobo, kodwa ixesha elingakanani kwaye ingaba ubudlelwane bunokufezekisa kubo bobabini abatshatileyo kuxhomekeke ngokupheleleyo kwisibini esichaphazelekayo.
Akukho mpendulo ichanekileyo kule meko
Ingxaki ngokusondelelana kunye nomtshato kukuba zininzi izinto eziguquguqukayo ezinokuqwalaselwa, ezinjengothando, ukuzibophelela, abantwana, amalungiselelo okuhlala okanye izicwangciso, kwaye umahluko ngamnye uxhomekeke kwimbono kunye neemfuno zomntu ngamnye obandakanyekayo emtshatweni. Oko kuthetha ukuba akukho mpendulo ichanekileyo kule meko. Ityala ngalinye kufuneka livavanywe ngokukodwa ukugqiba ukuba ukusondelelana emtshatweni kubalulekile.
Kubalulekile ukuba ufumane umhlaba ofanayo kunye neqabane lakho
Umzekelo, umtshato apho omabini amaqabane afumana ukungabikho komnqweno wokuba nolwalamano olusenyongweni onokonwabela ubomi obonwabisayo nobonelisayo kunye kuba bobabini baneminqweno efanayo. Nangona kunjalo, isibini esineqabane elinye kuphela elingenamnqweno wokuthandana ngokusondeleyo kumava. Esi sibini sinokuthandana, kodwa ukugcina ubudlelwane, elinye iqabane liza kufuneka lenze ulwalamano olomeleleyo xa kufikwa kubudlelwane kunye nasemtshatweni. Nokuba olo manyano loluzinzileyo luxhomekeke kwimbono yeqabane elenza ulungelelwaniso.
Oku akuthethi ukuba ukuba ufumana olu hlobo lweemeko ukuba ungoyena mbi kunomzekelo wokuqala. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, isibini esifumene umhlaba phakathi kwabo ngaphandle kobuhlobo emtshatweni wabo banokuphazamisa ukukhula kwabo kwaye bahlala kubudlelwane obuxhomekeke kubo. Kwaye bahlala bebeka umngcipheko wotshintsho kumnqweno.
Kulula ukubona ukuba ukungabikho kolwalamano emtshatweni kudala umngcipheko omkhulu weengxaki. Okanye kudala ukubanakho ukukhula okuzinzileyo kunomtshato apho omabini amaqabane onwabele ukusondelelana. Kodwa oko akuthethi ukuba umtshato wakho kufuneka uphele ukuba ukusondelelana kunye nomtshato akuhambelani.
Nazi izikhokelo zendlela yokuyilawula
Gcina unxibelelwano oluvulekileyo nolunyanisekileyo neqabane lakho, ukuze nibe nobabini ngokucacileyo malunga nendlela eniziva ngayo, kwaye nenze izicwangciso zokucombulula naziphi na iingxaki. Ukuba elinye iqabane lifuna ukusondelelana, kwaye elinye alifuni, mhlawumbi ninokuvumelana kwisivumelwano. Xa umlingane ofuna ukusondelelana elinda ixesha elithile, kwaye ngelo xesha, iqabane elingakonwabeliyo ukusondelelana lifuna ukucebisa ukubanceda ngalo ngxaki.
Ukuba ungumlingane, ongafuni ukusondelana kwaye akafuni ukufuna uncedo, isenokuba lixesha lokuba unike iqabane lakho inkululeko, ngaphandle kwetyala, lokukhetha ukuba bangathanda ukuhlala emtshatweni okanye hayi. Ewe ungahlala uhlala, abahlobo abakhulu, ukuba bathathe isigqibo sokushiya kwaye ukuhloniphana kuya kukhula ukuba bakhetha ukuhlala.
Gcina unxibelelwano lunyanisekile
Ukuba utshatile ngaphandle kobuhlobo kwaye nobabini niyonwabile yile meko, gcina unxibelelwano luthembekile. Xoxa ngesihloko samanqanaba akho obudlelwane obusondeleyo rhoqo kwaye ukhumbule ukuba ngamanye amaxesha izinto ziyatshintsha. Abantu bayatshintsha, neminqweno yomntu itshintshe. Ngale ndlela ukuba kukho into etshintshayo kubudlelwane bakho emva koko unokulungiswa endaweni yokuziva wothukile okanye usoyika.
Ukuba elinye iqabane belisondele kwaye liye layeka ngesiquphe, kufanelekile ukuba ucinge ngokufuna iingcebiso zomtshato ukuze nikuqonde nobabini okwenzekileyo, kunye nendlela yokulungisa.
Kufanelekile ukufuna ingcebiso
Umcebisi kwezomtshato uya kuninceda nobabini nijongane nemiceli mngeni eza kuziswa yile meko. Kukho ezinye iindlela zokuzonwabisa ngokusondelana kunye nomtshato apho imeko yakho ayiyi kuba yingxaki. Kuzo zonke iimeko, umcebisi ngezomtshato uya kuba luncedo kakhulu ukuze ugcine ukulingana okusempilweni kunye nomtshato, okanye ubuhlobo.
Inye kuphela into esoloko isongeza kubunzima bale meko luthando kunye nokuzibophelela eninako ukuba omnye komnye ngazo zonke iindlela, ngaphaya kobuhlobo kunye nembono yakho yenkolo ukuba unayo.
Ngelixa unokufuna ukuhlonipha ukuzibophelela kwakho ngokwenkolo kunye nasemtshatweni, kufanelekile ukuba uqaphele ukuba elowo kuthi unomphefumlo ekufuneka enze oko kufuneka ekwenzile. Kwaye kufuneka simahla ukwenza into ekufuneka yenziwe. Akukho nto inokuze igqithe esi sikhokelo sangaphakathi esinaso sonke, lunxibelelwano lwethu lokomoya olusikhokelayo, kwaye ke ubuncinci, kufanelekile ukuba siqwalasele le ndlela.
Landela ilizwi lakho lokuzalwa
Ukuba uyakwazi ukwahlula phakathi kwelizwi elingaphakathi kunye nengcinga ngokubanzi, kuya kufuneka usoloko ulandela ilizwi elingaphakathi. Ukuba uyayiphika, izakuqala ukukhwaza kakhulu nangakumbi; kubalulekile ukwenza okusoloko kukulungele. Ukuziphika ngokwakho kuya kulibazisa okungathandabuzekiyo.
Kwangolo hlobo lunye, kubalulekile ukuba ungacinezeli umntu omnye ngeenkolelo okanye iimfuno zakho. Ukuba ufuna ukusondelelana kwaye iqabane lakho alifuni, kuyakonakalisa umtshato wakho kunye neqabane lakho ukunyanzela. Kodwa efanayo iya umva nayo. Ukuba awufuni ukusondelelana, kuya kuwonakalisa umtshato wakho, kunye neqabane lakho xa unyanzela oko kuya kuthi. Yiyo le nto imbeko kunye nonxibelelwano oluvulekileyo noluthembekileyo luhlala lubalulekile.
Sebenzani kunye
Ukuba ukusondelelana kunye nomtshato yingxaki kuwe, khumbula ukuba ngeli lixa umtshato ngaphandle kobuhlobo ungabeka umngcipheko, uthando, ukuzibophelela, kunye nokungakhethi cala ngaphandle kobuhlobo kubaluleke kakhulu kwaye unamathuba aphezulu okuphila ixesha elide. Nokuba ukhetha oko emtshatweni wakho, okanye ukhetha ukuwuphelisa umtshato kwaye uhlale unabahlobo abanothando ukuba ujongana nale meko kwaye niyisebenzisana kunye, uhambo lunokuba nzima, kodwa isiphumo sinokuba sihle kakhulu.