Umxholo
Uthando yenye yezona zinto zibalulekileyo emhlabeni; inokukuphakamisela phezulu kwaye ikwenze uzive ngathi akukho sithintelo ungenakuwela. Kwelinye icala, xa singathandwa ngendlela esinqwenela ngayo kunokubangela awona mava abuhlungu kunye neentlungu. Sonke ngaxa lithile ebomini bethu sifumanisa ukuba kutheni umntu omthandayo engakuthandi.
Ngokwahlukileyo kwinkolelo esasazekileyo ngothando, ayisoloko iphela “ngokonwaba ngonaphakade.” Ndinqwenela ukuba umntu abuyisele uthando lwethu kwakhona kungaze kuphumele kwisiphelo esonwabisayo. Icala elibuhlungu nelibuhlungu lothando lusenza ukuba sicingisise ngo “Yintoni ongalunganga ngam?”, “Unantoni le ndingenayo mna?”, “Kutheni engafuni ukuba nam?” Kude kube ngoku.
Uthando lunokubandakanya bobabini ubuhle kunye nokubi, kwaye ukuba uzibeka phaya ekufuneni uthando uzilungiselele ukuva usizi nentlungu nawe.
Nangona olu loyiko lokwaliwa kunye nokwenzakala lunokuthintela ukuba uye kuphonononga ukhangela uthando lwenene, akufuneki uluvumele lukubambe.
Apho ucango luvalwa khona omnye uyavuleka. Konke ukwaliwa kunokukunceda ufunde okuthile ngawe kunye nomnye, malunga nezinto ozifunayo kunye nezinye ezifunwayo kwaye, ekugqibeleni, zikukhuthaze ukuba uphucule uluhlu lwakho lweekhrayitheriya ze-Mister Right. Kungcono kunokujonga "kutheni engandithandi" zama ukumema eminye imibuzo, enokubakho, esebenzayo kunye nengqiqo.
Yintoni ekutsalela emntwini?
Sonke siyavuma ukuba wonke umntu wahlukile, akunjalo? Nangona kunjalo, okwahlukileyo akuthethi ukuba ayinakubuyiselwa. Ukuqonda into oyifumanayo inomtsalane kunokukunceda uyiqonde kwabanye abantu, hayi oyithandayo okwangoku.
Olunye uphawu olunjalo alugcinelwe umntu omnye kuphela. Ukongeza, xa usiya kumhla olandelayo, uya kuba nakho ukuvavanya umhla wakho ngokuchasene neempawu ezinomtsalane ozifuna kwiqabane. Okokugqibela, xa iikhrayitheriya zichaziwe ngomlomo, ungayilungisa kwaye uyitshintshe ibe lula.
Nje ukuba uqonde ukuba uhamba njani malunga nokukhetha iqabane ungasenza isigqibo sokuya kwenye indlela.
Rhoqo sinomdla kubantu abangakulungelanga thina. Umzekelo, sinokulandela iqabane esichonga ukuba asinakho ukuthembela kulo, ongakulungelanga ukusixhasa nokutyala imali kulwalamano. Olu khetho lunokusidida kwaye lusenze sizibuze ukuba “kutheni”?
Ngokuqhelekileyo, kukho into ebalulekileyo ethi umntu uzisa ebomini bethu kwaye kungenxa yoko sithatha isigqibo sokuba silandele. Mhlawumbi bayahlekisa, banomdla okanye bajongeka kakuhle.
Ngokusisiseko, senza impazamo yokucinga ukuba kufuneka samkele iimpazamo zomnye kuba kukho izinto esizithanda kakhulu kubo. Akuyonyani oko.
Ukunyaniseka, ngokuqinisekileyo samkela ukulalanisa, kuba akukho mntu ulungileyo. Nangona kunjalo, into esizimisele ukuyityeshela kuyo yinto emele icace kwiqabane lethu, kodwa okona kubaluleke kakhulu kuthi.
Kungoko endaweni yokubuza ukuba "kutheni engandithandi kwakhona" ungafuna ukuzibuza ukuba "kutheni ndimthanda lo mntu"?
Kutheni lomntu ebekwenza kakubi kuwe?
Endaweni yokubuza ukuba kutheni lo mntu "engandithandi" zibuze "kutheni ndingafanele ndimthande lo mntu kwasekuqaleni?" Kwaye impendulo kukuba abakuthandi umva.
Inkqubo yokuqala nephambili yeqabane lakho kufuneka ibe kukufuna ukuba nawe, ukuba bayakuthanda kwaye bayakwamkela.
Iimvakalelo kufuneka zihlangane kwaye ukuba oku akukabikho kuluhlu lwakho lweekhrayitheriya, lixesha lokuba ubhale ngoonobumba abakhulu, abamnyama.
Okwangoku, kwabo bangazange babe nethuba lokuba kunye nomntu omthandayo, usenokuzibuza ukuba wazi njani ukuba umntu akakuthandi umva kuba bengakwazi kakuhle. Kuba wonke umntu uyazi ukuba bafuna ukukunika ithuba kwaye babe kubudlelwane nawe ukuze baqonde ukuba ungulowo kubo?
Ukuba impendulo nguewe, ngandlela zonke, yenze loo nto!
Ngaphandle kwamathandabuzo, ungumntu othandekayo ofanelwe luthando, kwaye mhlawumbi lo mntu uya kukubona ngenxa yale nto uyiyo- ukubamba okuhle.
Lumka, nangona kunjalo, ukuba uthatha isigqibo sokuhla ngale ndlela-misela ukuba lingakanani ixesha ofuna ukulityala kulo mntu ukuzikhusela ekulandeleni umntu ixesha elide ngaphandle kweziphumo.
Kwimeko apho sele uzame ukuphumelela lo mntu kwaye uqhubeka uzingisa ungafiki ndawo, zibuze-ngaba ndifuna ukuthandwa okanye ndifuna ukuqhubeka nokulandela lo mntu? Ufanelwe luthando kwaye ungonwaba, kodwa hayi nalo mntu. Khetha ukonwaba ngokulandela lo mntu.
Uthanda ntoni ngam?
Inyani kukuba unelungelo lokungakuthandi, angenza ukhetho lokungakhethi. Ngethamsanqa, unokumdlula, unokutshintsha nangona ekhethekile.
Nangona kunjalo, oyena mntu kufuneka umthande ngokwenene nguwe.
Endaweni yokuba uzibuze ukuba "kutheni engandithandi nje", zibuze ukuba "yintoni endiyithandayo ngam." Emva koko, ungabuza "Yintoni endifuna iqabane lam liyiqonde kwaye liyithande kum?"
Endaweni yokunika uthando kumntu ongayibuyiseliyo, yenze eyona nto iphambili kuwe ukukhangela umntu okuphethe kakuhle kwaye abuyisele iimvakalelo kunye notyalo mali.
Beka phezulu kwinqanaba lakho elifanelekileyo likaMnu. Indlela aziphatha ngayo- ngaba uyakuhlonipha, ngaba uyazama, ingaba uyazithanda izinto ozithandayo ngawe? Ukuba awunako ukwenza oku, zimbe nzulu kwaye uzibuze "kutheni ndikhetha umntu ongandithandiyo", "kutheni ndikhetha lo mntu endaweni yolonwabo?"
Wonke umntu ulufanele uthando kwaye nawe unjalo. Nangona kunjalo, kufuneka ukuqonde oku, ukuze ufumane ukuba yintoni enkulu ngawe, yintoni eyenza ukuba ubaluleke kwaye ufuna ukuba iqabane lakho libone kwaye lixabise ntoni kuwe.
Nje ukuba uzithande, unolona lwalamano lubaluleke kakhulu olusekiweyo kwaye nayiphi na enye iya kuba yibhonasi enkulu.
Kungenzeka ukuba lo mntu umthanda ayinguye lowo wokukuthanda ubuye, kodwa uhambo lwakho alupheleli apho. Esi sisiqalo nje sebali lakho lothando. Ungafunda kula mava, ujike iintlungu nosizi ube zizifundo kunye nolwazi malunga nento oyifunayo, into oyifunayo emva koko uyilandele. Xa usazi ukuba uMnu.Lungelo lakho kufuneka abe naliphi ukuze umthande kwaye umkhethe imihla ngemihla, xa uqonda okubalulekileyo, kwaye yintoni onokuyibeka esichengeni ungaqala ukumkhangela. Inye into ekufuneka uyikhumbule ukuba ungaze ulalanise kukuba uyakuthanda kwakhona. Esi sisiqalo seresiphi elungileyo yolonwabo!