Umxholo
- Ukufunda ngomtshato kumaGottamans
- Umtshato ufuna imizamo engaguquguqukiyo
- Ukubeka phambili ubudlelwane bakho
Kule minyaka mithandathu idlulileyo yokubonelela ngonyango lwezibini ndibone indlela abantu endisebenza nabo bahlala bezibuza ukuba "kutheni ubudlelwane bam bunzima kangaka?" Ukukhula sinesimo sengqondo "sonwabe ngonaphakade" akukho namnye owakha wasixelela ukuba ubudlelwane budinga ukusebenza nzima kwemihla ngemihla. Akukho mntu ukhathazekileyo ukukhankanya ukuba iya kubandakanya iingxabano, ukukhathazeka, ukulwa, iinyembezi kunye nentlungu.
Kwiinkolo ezahlukeneyo kuyacetyiswa, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha kunyanzelekile ukuya kwelinye okanye kuthotho lweeklasi zomtshato ngaphambi kokufumana "imvume" yokutshata. E-United States, ufumana iphepha-mvume lomtshato kodwa akukho klasi yokufumana ilayisenisi yomtshato, ngokokwazi kwam. Kungenzeka njani ukuba sinyanzelekile ukuba sifunde kwaye sifunde imixholo eyahlukeneyo esikolweni, kodwa singafundiswa ukuba liqabane elingcono ekuzibopheleleni kwethu kubomi bonke? Ngaba sinokuhlala sikulungele oku kuzinikela ebomini kubandakanya amanqanaba amaninzi ahlukeneyo kunye notshintsho kule minyaka idlulileyo? Yintoni endinokukufundisa yona namhlanje malunga nokuba nobuhlobo obungcono neqabane lakho?
Ukufunda ngomtshato kumaGottamans
Inxalenye yoqeqesho endilifumeneyo yayivela kuGqirha Gottmans (indoda nomfazi).Ndikufumene kuyonwabisa ukufunda ngezinto ezahlukeneyo zento abayifumene kuphando kubalulekile ukuze umtshato uphumelele. Bathetha ngento yokuba kufuneka sabelane ngentsingiselo, ukuthanda kunye nokuncoma kwaye kufuneka sazi indlela yokusebenza ungquzulwano, ukuthembana, ukuzibophelela kunye nezinye izinto ezimbalwa. Ukubabukela kwinqanaba kuqeqesho lweentsuku ezintathu ikwangamava okufunda. Ukubona iyantlukwano phakathi kwabo kunye nendlela abanxibelelana ngayo yayingamava anomdla kakhulu. Ndifunde lukhulu malunga nolwalamano lwam nomyeni wam. Ndiyayiqonda into yokuba ngamanye amaxesha siyaphikisana kwaye inokuba namandla kakhulu, kodwa ayithethi ukuba asihambelani omnye nomnye. Oko kuthetha ukuba silwa ngokuqatha kuba yile nto siqhele ukuyenza kwaye sobabini siyakwazi ukuyiyeka ngokulula.
Umtshato ufuna imizamo engaguquguqukiyo
Ekupheleni kosuku, into endifuna ukukufundisa yona namhlanje kukuba ukuba ucinga ukuba kubudlelwane iyakuba yinto elula- le izakuba yinto enzima kakhulu kuwe. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba uyabuqonda ukuba ubudlelwane yinkqubo yokusebenza nzima kwemihla ngemihla, uya kuba nakho ukuyenza. Kuya kukwenza ukuba wazi ukuba kuya kufuneka wenze iinzame zemihla ngemihla ukwenza ubudlelwane obufunayo, kwaye ungabuthathi lula. Iya kukwenza uxanduva lokuzifundisa kwaye uhlale usebenza ekuphuculeni kwakho ukuze ube ngumntu ongcono kwaye ke ube liqabane elingcono.
Uyakwazi ukuba ngomnye wabo bangatshatanga kuphela kodwa bonwabile emtshatweni. Ngokusebenza nzima nokufunda kwenu, niya kulithanda naloo mizuzu benilila nalwa kakhulu kuba loo maxesha aya kunenza nibe sisibini esomeleleyo. Indlela endibona ngayo ngoku kukuba xa ndizokuchitha iintsuku zam ndiqinisekisa ukuba iqabane lam lonwabile kwaye lenza into efanayo kum-singavuya sobabini. Amaxesha amaninzi, ngeendlela zemihla ngemihla kunye noxanduva kulula ukuba sizicingele kwaye sigxile kwinto esiyifunayo kulwalamano, endaweni yokuhoya into efunwa liqabane lethu. Siyasilela ukumamela iqabane lethu kwaye siqaphele xa besokola kuba nathi. Xa usongeza abantwana kumxube, kwenza kube nzima nangakumbi. Kukho uxanduva kunye nezinto ezininzi ekufuneka uzenzile, ukongeza kubomi bakho bemihla ngemihla kangangokuba kulula ukulahleka kwinkqubo.
Ukubeka phambili ubudlelwane bakho
Ingcebiso yam kuwe kukuqinisekisa ukubeka phambili ubudlelwane bakho ikakhulu xa izinto zibonakala zinzima kakhulu. Thatha ixesha lokuchitha kunye. Fumana loo mathuba amancinci olonwabo ukujongana kunye kwaye nikhumbuzane ukuba nithandana kangakanani. Isenokuba sisicatshulwa esikhawulezayo se-emoji yentliziyo emini esinokuthi sitshintshe usuku lwamaqabane akho ngokupheleleyo. Lixabise elo xesha lincinci lokuwola, ukuhleka, ukonwabele ubomi kunye nomdaniso ngokungathi akukho mntu ubukeleyo. Thatha uhambo olwandle, uye kwindawo yakho yokutyela oyithandayo okanye kwindawo oye kuyo ngomhla wakho wokuqala. Yenza inkqubo yesiqhelo yemihla ngemihla yokungena kunye nokuzinikezela kuni nobabini, nokuba yeyimizuzu emihlanu kuphela. Qaphela ubukho bomnye nomnye, kwaye unike ingqalelo imiqondiso yokukhalela uncedo. Khumbula ukuba xa uthatha isigqibo sokutshata naloo mntu, okanye unikezela ubomi bakho ukuba ube kunye nabo, unesizathu esihle sokwenza oko-kwaye ungaze uyilibale loo nto!
Ukuba usebudlelwaneni ngoku kwaye awuqinisekanga ukuba ufuna ukuthatha inyathelo elilandelayo thatha uluhlu lwempahla kwaye uthi kuwe-ndingabushiya bonke ubomi bam kunye nokungagqibeki kunye nenyani yokuba iqabane lam linalo? Ngaba ndikulungele ukuyeka ezinye zezinto ezincinci esilwa ngazo kwaye ndibuqonde ubuhle bobudlelwane bethu kuba buyintoni? Ukuba ungashiya ezo zinto zikuhluphayo ubomi bakho bonke ngolonwabo kwaye ungasebenza ngazo nokuba kunzima oko kufanelekile.